Catchy Dating Headlines that Attract Women Online
Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla. Instead, borrow from him. Rsilience in floor tile. A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
Online Dating For Dummies
I repeatedly and sincerely asked that I be born again. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. Lead me not into temptation. Honestly I have no idea how to live without you. I learn something new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon everyday.
In addition to displaying a screen name, many online-dating sites allow you to display a phrase, called a tagline. Some sites, such as Match. That option can be a bit overwhelming, though, so go with a relatively short name and focus your creative juices on the tagline. If you try to be too creative with both, they tend to conflict and create a confused message. Do a search on your site to see which is more prominent — taglines or screen names.
Focus on refining whichever one is more visible. Taglines are difficult to write. Good ones, though, are mighty powerful. People who work in advertising agencies can make their entire career on just one tagline. In the world of marketing which, in the end, is what online dating is all about , the goal is to reach the right customer, not every customer.
Likewise, in the world of online dating, your goal is to present yourself in a way that tends to attract the right kind of person, not every available prospect.
The obvious first step is to think about the kind of match you want. Focus on the less superficial stuff, not how tall or suave or sexy you want your prospect to be. Then you need to combine that thought with something about who you are.
Rho sritched mg kegtops awound? Any man who can see through women is sure missing a lot. Any student who changes the course of history is probably writing an exam. Anyone who makes an absolute statement is a fool. Don't bother striking any key. Are dog biscuits made from collie flour? As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens. A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free. A bort, R etry, M assive heart failure?
Go stand in the corner. The removal of bruises on a banana. Otherwise people might not like you. Being psychotic is all it's cracked up to be. Eat as much as you want, but don't swallow it.
It's like, totally, the best dishwasher ever, dude! Blessed are the censors; they shall inhibit the earth. A noise with dirt on it. Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
A method for going broke methodically. Bull behind a tapestry: A person who cuts red tape sideways. Buy one, get one free When closing one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.
Can you think of another word for "synonym"? Canada has two seasons. Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans. Biting off the head of the chocolate Easter bunny first.
Popcorn, soda, and candy that covers the floors of movie theaters. A line that meets its other end without ending. Cleanliness is next to clean-limbed, in the dictionary. Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery. Close your eyes and press escape three times. The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.
The unwilling, selected from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. Consider what might be fertilizing the greener grass across the fence.
Death is the one experience that we cannot put in perspective afterwards. Death and taxes are inevitable; at least death doesn't get worse every year. Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat. Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
Democracy is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses. Mencken Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular. Did you expect mere proof to sway my opinion? Saying "go to hell" such that they look forward to the trip.
Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery? Do steam rollers really roll steam? How else can you explain Visa bills? Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell? They don't like it. Don't judge a book by its mini-series. Don't use no double negatives, not never. Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things. Don't you hate it when life doesn't follow the manuals? Don't drive me crazy -- it's within walking distance.
Your friends know already and your enemies don't care. Don't hit the keys so hard, it hurts. Don't undertake vast projects with half-vast ideas.
Don't get stuck in a closet; wear yourself out. Down with categorical imperatives. Rsilience in floor tile. Due to a mixup in Urology, orange juice will not be served this morning. Earth was interesting, and worth the money I paid for it. Doing a crossword puzzle with a pen. Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above average drivers. Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped. Two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. Electricity comes from electrons; morality comes from morons.
Eleven tons of hair stolen. Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. Ever find yourself posting messages just to show off your taglines? Every silver lining has a cloud around it. Every pool you can swim in has been pissed in at least once. Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise. Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Experiments should be reproducible. They should all fail the same way. Avoids the small errors while sweeping on to the grand fallacy. A form of ugliness so intolerable that it changes every six months.
Deposit on the inside of a car fender after a snowstorm. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker. Fools rush in -- and get the best seats in the house. For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like. For reply, send self-abused stomped antelope to: Funny, these cookies don't taste anything like Girl Scouts.
Gather round like cattle and ye shall be herd. Trying to determine from the cutesy pictures which restroom to use. Generally you don't see that kind of behavior in a major appliance Genetics: Why you look like your father, or if you don't, why you should.
Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. Get your mind outta the gutter! And pick mine up while you're down there. Give me a lever long enough, and a place to stand, and I'll break my lever. Give me chastity and continence, but not just now. Augustine Give a skeptic an inch and he'll measure it.
Petrified deposits of toothpaste found in sinks. God gives burdens; also shoulders. God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends. And take the rest of the province with you. Good judgement comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgement. Good sopranos and tenors have resonance -- where others have brains.
A creature that can leap to tremendous heights Great minds run in great circles. Gretzky hasn't scored near as often as that Japanese player, Hee Shu Tze. Had there been an actual emergency, you would no longer be here.
Happiness can't buy you money. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance? Have you flogged your crew today? Have you seen Quasimodo? I've a hunch he's back. Have an adequate day. Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. Having children will turn you into your parents. He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
He who dies with the most taglines, wins! He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead. He who laughs last didn't get the joke. He has the heart of a little child He is no lawyer who cannot take seventeen sides.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. Heating with wood, you get warm twice: Once chopping it, and once stacking it. Heisenberg might have been here. Hindsight is usually better History does not repeat itself; historians merely repeat each other. Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
A short period of doting between dating and debting. Horse sense is the thing a horse has that keeps it from betting on people. Making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were. How long is a minute depends on which side of the bathroom door you are on. How come wrong numbers are never busy? How many priests are needed in Boston Mass?
How many weeks are there in a light year? How do they get all those little metal bits on a zipper to line up so well? How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers. I always cry during sex. I think it's the Mace. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. I didn't know her first name was Always. I know I have a purpose because I always seem to need deodorant. I am Al of Borg. Aww, Peg, I assimilated you last year. I am Sajak of Borg. I don't even own a pornograph. I disclaim my disclaimer!
I believe in free will. My religion says I have no choice. I can't give you brains, but I can give you a diploma. I will meet you at the corner of Walk and Don't Walk. I do a lot of thinking in the john. Says a lot for my thoughts. I am Tweety of Borg. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. Hillary says resistance is futile!
I got a life! I ordered it through my computer. I came, I saw, I deleted all your files. I dreamed I met God. He sneezed, and I didn't know what to say to Him. I have not seen as far as others because giants were standing on my shoulders.
I have read and understood the above. I just can't remember it all at once. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception. Good thing I had a key.
I would like to help you out. Which way did you come in? I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. I dreamed I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted. I am a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from humans.
I repeatedly and sincerely asked that I be born again. I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less. I wired my dryer backwards.
Now it spits out extra socks. I bet you have never seen a plumber bite his nails. I am Fudd of Borg. I like work; it fascinates me.
I can sit and look at it for hours. I am McMahon of Borg. You may already be assimilated. I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. I woke up still tired. I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.
I am prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life. I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost. I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT!
I want to die in my sleep like my father, not screaming like his passengers. I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer. I will always love the false image I had of you. I went to the Net and all I got was this stupid tagline. I seem to be a verb. I doubt, therefore I might be. I am Homer of Borg! I used to be sane. I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous. I was glad to be able to answer promptly. I said I didn't know. I swear to God I am! I'll race you to China.
You can have a head start. Round is a shape, isn't it? I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
If today is the first day of the rest of your life, what was yesterday? If you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with bullshit. If you think before you speak, the other guy gets his joke in first. If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? If you lay every snoring student end-to-end, they'd be more comfortable. If it wasn't for muscle spasms, I wouldn't get any exercise at all. If you can't say anything nice, you probably don't have many friends. If either religion or science were infallible, it would incorporate the other.
If you can't find your glasses, it's probably because you don't have them on. If I had finished this sentence. If it were truly the thought that counted, more women would be pregnant. If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them. If all the world's a stage, who sprung the trap door on me? If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery. If it wasn't for Newton, we wouldn't have to eat bruised apples. If in doubt, mumble. If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If laws were outlawed, only outlaws would be lawyers.
If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points. If you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer? If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. If all the world's managers were laid end to end, it would be an improvement. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success. If your parents didn't have any children, neither will you.
If morons could fly, the sky would be pitch black. If there is light at the end of the tunnel If at first you don't succeed, you probably didn't really care anyway. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don't fill in? If you were to ask me this question, what would my answer be? If nothing beats getting drunk, given a choice, I'd take the nothing.
Illegitimus non Carborundem -- "Don't let the bastards grind you down". Write for free help. In English, every word can be verbed. In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it. In the waffle iron was invented for people who had wrinkled waffles. In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. Instant sex will never be better than the kind you have to peel and cook. Is this true or only clever? Is a mirage real? Well, it's a real mirage.
It was a brave man that ate the first oyster. It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose -- until you lose. It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything. It is not an optical illusion, it just looks like one. It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
It is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators. It is bad luck to be superstitious. It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black. It's hard to soar like an eagle when you are surrounded by turkeys. Journalism is literature in a hurry. Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. A decision in your favor. Keep a very firm grasp on reality, so you can strangle it at any time. Swallow your beer cans. Keep stress out of your life.
Give it to others instead. Kilroy occupied these spatial coordinates.
Imsges: witty tagline for dating site
I do a lot of thinking in the john.
Electricity comes from electrons; morality comes from morons.
Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. I dreamed I was a muffler. The removal of bruises on witty tagline for dating site banana. One of us is obviously in the wrong place. I thought I did once, but I was wrong. I just wish my mouth had a backspace key. Your prayers for Funny Easter Quotes and Jokes are answered.