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The same thing has started happening in tech. Guy opens up for the first time about how he was so terrified of accidentally hurting women that he became suicidal and tried to get himself castrated. By my opinion, you can see a lot in 2 weeks, but there is so much more to explore on the island. I may or may not have a conflict of interest here. The background map is based on the work from https:
Best “Black BBW” Dating Sites (#4-5)
But there is stuff that happens to women by nerds that really sucks. And they claimed to be suffering! One of the better travel blogs I have seen, thanks so much! Perhaps exacerbated by deep-seated English class assumptions. The food is the best we had in Sri Lanka and the owner Marnix from Belgium is the most friendly host. Any suggestions for good beaches? Polonnaruwa 2 nights
But less than twenty percent of high school students who choose to the AP Computer Science test are women. Nothing that happens between twelfth grade and death decreases the percent of women interested in computer science one whit. I want to say that I want to say that whether we attribute this to inborn ability or to acculturation, the entire gender gap has been determined in high school if not before.
If anything, women actually gain a few percentage points as they enter Silicon Valley. What the heck do high schoolers know about whether Silicon Valley culture is sexist or not?
Even if you admit that all the online articles talking about this are being read by fourteen year olds in between Harry Potter and Twilight , these articles are a very new phenomenon and my stats are older than they are. The entire case for Silicon Valley misogyny driving women out of tech is a giant post hoc ergo propter hoc.
My own field is medicine. More than half of medical students are female. In two years, more than half of doctors in the UK will be female, and the US is close behind. Medicine is better-paying and more prestigious than programming. Medicine is full of extremely abrasive personalities. Medicine has long work hours. Medicine will laugh at you hysterically if you say you want to balance work and family life. So any explanation of the low number of women in Silicon Valley has to equally well explain their comparatively high numbers in medicine.
Look at these low-status people. We already dislike them, now we have an even better reason to dislike them that nicely wraps up an otherwise embarassing mystery. Time for a better theory. A look at percent female physicians by subspecialty is instructive.
The specialty with the most women is pediatrics, followed by child psychiatry, followed by obstetrics, followed by — you get the picture. The specialties with the least women are the various surgeries — the ones where your patient is immobilized, anaesthetized, opened up, and turned into a not-quite-color-coded collection of tubes and wires to poke and prod at — the ones that bear more than a passing resemblance to engineering.
It seems really obvious to me that women — in high schools and everywhere else — have a statistical predilection to like working with people especially children and to dislike working with abstract technical poking and prodding. This is a bias clearly inculcated well before SATs and AP exams, one that affects medics and programmers alike.
The cultural origins are far too varied to enumerate. Many people very justly bring up the issue of how our society genders toys , with parents getting very angry when girls play with stereotypically male toys and vice versa. On the other hand, I also think people who neglect biological causes are doing the issue a disservice.
Did you know that young monkeys express pretty much exactly the same gendered toy preferences as human children? Rhesus monkeys , vervet monkeys , pretty much whatever species of monkeys you try it on, the male monkeys enjoy wheeled toys more and the female monkeys plush toys more.
When intersex children are raised as other than their biological gender, their toy preference and behavior are consistently that associated with their biological gender and not the gender they are being raised as, even when they themselves are unaware their biological gender is different.
This occurs even when parents reinforce them more for playing with their gender-being-raised-as toys. You can even successfully correlate the degree of this with the precise amount of androgen they get in the womb, and if you experimentally manipulate the amount of hormones monkeys receive in the womb, their gendered play will change accordingly.
The end result of all this is probably our old friend gene-culture interaction, where certain small innate differences become ossified into social roles that then magnify the differences immensely. As a result, high school girls are only a fifth as likely to be interested in computer science as high school boys, and sure enough women are only a fifth as well represented in Silicon Valley as men. All of this information is accessible for free to anyone who spends ten minutes doing a basic Google search.
But instead we have to keep hearing how nerds are gross and disgusting and entitled and should feel constant shame for how they bully and harass the poor female programmers out of every industry they participate in. This is that motte-and-bailey thing with patriarchy again.
People will believe what they want to believe. Any space with a four-to-one male: Add into this mix the fact that nerds usually have poor social skills explaining exactly why would take a literature review to put that last one to shame, but hopefully everyone can agree this is true , and you get people who are pretty sure they are supposed to do something but have no idea what. But once you accept this model, it starts to look like feminists and I are trying to solve the same problem.
The problem is that nerds are scared and confused and feel lonely and have no idea how to approach women. In psychology, entitlement as a construct is usually blended with narcissism. Predictors of narcissism include high emotional intelligence, high social skills but uniquely among Dark Triad traits not high nonverbal ie mathematical intelligence, and high extraversion. Another interesting fact about narcissists is that they tend to have more sexual partners than non-narcissists.
But even this seems to require further clarification. Do they mean nerds hold sexist attitudes? The research 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 shows that sexist attitudes are best predicted by low levels of education, high levels of religious belief, and whites only low neuroticism.
Besides, in a survey I did of people on an incredibly nerdy forum last year, the average was extremely feminist, so much so that the average nerdy man was more feminist than the average non-nerdy woman.
Do they mean nerds are more likely to rape people? But the rest include: A male nerd has dared to express that he is sad about being alone and miserable. He is just about the most unentitled untitled? You have better examples? A better word for this untitlement is, perhaps, scrupulosity , where you believe you are uniquely terrible and deserve nothing.
Scrupulosity is often linked to obsessive compulsive disorder, which the recent survey suggests nerds have at higher rates than the general population and which is known to be more common in high-IQ people. When you tell a highly-untitled, high-scrupulosity person that they are entitled, it goes about as well as telling an anorexic person that they are fat. And how come, with laser-like focus, you only pick on the scrupulous ones?
When Laurie Penny writes to women, she says:. What I most wanted to say, to all the messed-up teenagers and angry adults out there, is that the fight for your survival is political. The fight to own your emotions, your rage and pain and lust and fear, all those unspeakable secrets that we do not share because we worry that we will be hurt or shunned, is deeply political.
All that rage and entitlement and hurt. You shut up and get on with your life. If you remember only one thing from this entire post, remember that Anakin Skywalker is unbearably annoying remember this:.
The past is over. I do not hold, and have never held, any ill will toward the women who rejected me. Some of them continue to be my close friends. Nor did Aaronson mention any ill will to anyone who rejected him. Talking about how nerds should let go of our past resentment to our crushes is a giant red herring. Little Caitlin can do what she wants with her life.
But dehumanizing and perpetrating stereotypes about a whole group of people who already have it pretty bad is not okay. And this post is way too long for most people who read those responses to get their misconceptions corrected. So before I close, let me give a brief summary of what I am trying to say:. There are a lot of really nasty stereotypes perpetuated about nerds, especially regarding how they are monsters, nobody can love them, and they are too disgusting to have relationships the same way other people do.
Although both men and women suffer from these stereotypes, men really do have a harder time getting relationships, and the experience is not the same. You cannot define this problem away by saying that because Mark Zuckerberg is a billionnaire, nerds are privileged, so they already have it too good. The Jews are a classic example of a group that were both economically advantaged in a particular industry, but also faced unfair stereotypes.
Whether women also have problems, and whether their problems are even worse, is not the point under discussion and is not relevant. Nerds are not uniquely evil, they are not especially engaged in oppressing women, and they are not driving women out of Silicon Valley. The feminist problem of nerds being desperate and not having any social skills and therefore being creeps to women is the same as the nerd problem of nerds being desperate and not having any social skills and therefore having to live their life desperate and without social skills.
If you want to debate or fisk this article, I would recommend using these paragraphs as starting points instead of whatever bizarre perversions of my words the brain of the worst person reading this can dream up. We bring our broken hearts and blue balls to the table when we talk gender politics, especially if we are straight folks. The road ahead will be long. I believe in you. I believe in all of us. We are great at learning stuff.
We can do anything we put our minds to, although I suspect this thing, this refusing to let the trauma of nerdolescence create more violence, this will be hardest of all. I see a vision here of everybody, nerdy men, nerdy women, feminists, the media, whoever — cooperating to solve our mutual problems and treat each other with respect.
Of course I am on board with this vision. First of all, a whole lot of other side is not Laurie Penny. They are the people gleefully mocking our pain and telling us we deserve it.
But even the good people are worrisome enough. They admit that nerdy men, lesbians, bisexuals, etc may be in pain, but they deny categorically any possible role of feminist shaming culture in causing that pain and want to take any self-reflection on their part off of the table of potential compromise.
The reality of Prof. So here is my offer to Ms. If she accepts and is in some kind of heavily nerd-populated city NYC? I will use my connections in the nerd community to get her ten dates within ten days with intelligent, kind, respectful nerdy men of whom she approves.
Comments are now closed, because this got linked on Instapundit and I know from experience that bad things happen if you leave the comments open after that point. Also, my comment software starts acting weird after like a thousand. If you must comment on this further, go bother Ozy on their open thread ].
None of those were mistakes, least of all calling biology a hard science. Durka Dougall, a former surgical trainee who is now a fourth year public health specialist trainee in London, believes specialty stereotypes in surgery are gradually becoming redundant.
Having moved to public health, Dougall says neither she nor her colleagues fit the traditional stereotype of the public health doctor. None of those characteristics fit my personality. How do you do, Dr. I meant the doctor — Dr. Ripley was so surprised that he dropped his hat and forgot to pick it up again.
He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any Biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.
His face betrayed his feelings only too clearly. They cannot claim both. Ripley felt irritated by the quiet manner in which the lady crossquestioned him. But if you insist upon an answer, I must say that I do not think medicine a suitable profession for women and that I have a personal objection to masculine ladies. The lady, however, simply raised her eyebrows and smiled.
The idea that the social sciences and biology are less rigorous than e. Freud is generally considered the father of psychology, and he certainly did not engage in rigorous science. Psychology has long been the domain of wild speculation and Saying Things In An Authoritative Voice rather than actual science. If anything, the increase in its scientific rigor has probably coincided with increased female participation.
That is pretty much a fact. Biology is the softest of hard sciences… So much speculation so little hard data. Is this meant as some sort of joke? If this is the place for pointing out typos: It seems to me that the articles are inherently worthy to be written, being all of well-researched, well-supported, extremely well-written, and on a very important and very contentious topic, upon which you elucidate many things, very clearly.
Is there something that us in the peanut gallery can do that would help you regret writing these less? Thank you and keep up the good work! When I worked at a small non-software company and was the only woman on the engineering team, I continually struggled with bro-culture, not being taken seriously, people trying to push me into fluffy design work, etc.
Now that I work at Google there are few such issues. So from one side it can look like flagrant dismissal of very glaring problems, from the other like making mountains out of molehills, when really the people involved are working in very different environments. I wish we could get past the idea that we live in a monoculture where everybodies experience is exactly the same at least based on demographics. There are environments that are great and there are environments that are awful. And there are probably reasons for each of these things.
But we have to look at these environments as individual situations in order to properly understand them. This is a case where the desire for simple models really hinders us.
Are you saying that brogrammers actually exist? I always thought they were like hippogryphs: In reality I grew up as your typical nerd and the stories of the two Scotts resonated with me pretty deeply. I was a very shy nerd as a kid and never had a girlfriend until after graduating high school. Dickinson, even as someone that does watch your Twitter feed you still come across not-very-well in a lot of brogrammer methods. I say that knowing it is not nice, but it is true and it is necessary.
Folk can both vastly overstate your sins — and in fairness, a good deal of the — and you still be a sinner. I called a person who has engaged in an open campaign to blacklist me FWIW insane. Marcotte accuses people of not considering women to be people; this person literally accuses them of being violent terrorists. Actually, yeah, I think you are a manifestly terrible person and rightly the target of Internet feminists.
Which is to say, I can have full sympathy for Scott Aaronson, and a fuckton of respect for him, cuz his book is great, and I can like Scott Alexander for being a voice of reason, and so on. I can even kinda-sorta respect some folks here who I disagree with, given a belief that we should make peace when we can.
I experienced it at a moment in my life that I was being exposed to many more different people than I would on my regular work life. All the programmers I actually know seem fairly non-bro-like, though. Generally, these cases involve high school students, typically under the age of consent, being raped and then charged for child support years later.
In many cases, this does include back child support ie, for time where the rape victim was in high school. They do exist, and in ever increasing numbers. Seventy years ago, accounting was a relatively unrewarding profession, and so was left to the nebbishy math geeks. When financial markets began to shift and a good accountant could make bank, it became a more desirable profession, and the bros and frat boys i. The same thing has started happening in tech. At first, computers were really just a hobby for nerds.
Then money and status were discovered in the field, and predictably the bros have moved in and begun shoving the nerds aside as they claim their rightful spot at the center of the tech industry money-status-and-influence trough.
In fact, it seems to me that people like Amanda Marcotte are in that same group. Her bullying has nothing to do with justice, and everything to do with throwing nerds under the bus in a grab for a larger slice of the internet influence pie. In my RL presence, the idea that women can be technical has never seriously been questioned. On this, I think Google is rather singular in getting it mostly right, at least most of the time. Myself, I think it is because they are so utterly data driven that they can actually kinda get unconscious bias and find ways around it.
I may or may not have a conflict of interest here. Take my post for what it is worth. You can find complaints. Again, the work environment is pretty dependent on your specific team. Plus, you know, there was a group specifically for women software engineers that met up for lunches and things, which helped people build support networks.
The fact that some workplaces can be full of nerds and free of brogrammers says that the problem is clearly NOT nerds. You really believe that pulling offers on OkCupid is the main thing there is to talk about when it comes to privilege and entitlement? If I may draw upon the traditions of my people and answer a question with a question; do you think that the differing experiences on OKCupid reflects absolutely no difference in how most men and women in America, in recent times, according to members of most subcultures, some restrictions may reply, etc.
I think that it obviously is. I am also answering my rhetorical question here to state my point clearly and directly; that while the numbers and experiments listed in the article are not necessarily the thing and the whole of the thing when it comes to the discussion, they are worth discussing.
How many of the named feminists are low income earners? Also, why cannot other social goods be seriously discussed? A discussion of income differences would be unlikely to wander into sex and romance; why is the reverse not happening a problem? I think the link about childless women in their twenties earning more than childless men in their twenties was more on-point for the economics question.
Well, on the economic question: Nor, I think, are most nerds. It depends on where you draw the boundaries, of course, but being nerdy is not the ticket to wealth that some people believe. If you want to talk about class and money, talk about class and money; it has little to do with nerdiness or the lack of it.
Which is of course silly. The silent majority, the median feminist, would never say that sort of thing. To which I can only say… how is that supposed to help anything? A silent majority is silent. Which means I care about the mean, not the median. It matters for at least three reasons.
I considered myself a staunch feminist for my entire adult life. I first encountered Social Justice a couple years ago, and it horrified and depressed me for weeks, but my response was to assume that it was just a tragedy of dissimilar-group friction, and to rationalize it all by attempting to study up on and internalize Social Justice theory and narrative. The second time Social Justice injected itself into my bubble was a few months ago.
I lost a friendship of fifteen years in the fallout, and I am definitely not a feminist any more. My social circle indicates that my experience is not an isolated one. My reading here and elsewhere indicates that the phenomenon is in fact remarkably widespread and clearly growing.
If you think Feminism is valuable, perhaps it would be a good idea to address the easily identifiable population engaged in actively driving people out of it, rather than sneering at those who pluck up the courage to jump ship. Would feminists identify your previously-held views as feminist? Given your reaction to social justice, my initial inclination is to say that they would not — and that you considering yourself a feminist was more likely to be the result of an incomplete understanding of feminist theory, rather than of your actually agreeing with feminist theory.
When I first encountered Social Justice, what upset me was the lynch mob dynamic. Trying to understand it, I went to the personal spaces of the people leading the mob, one of which this was one:. The second run-in was sufficiently farcical that rationalization was impossible.
Ozy is very good at this, but the larger thrust of the movement seems overwhelming. Whether I was really truly a feminist in the first place, I thought I was, and I rallied instinctively to feminist causes and appeals. What does that do to the movement? Okay, I get that. It kind of depends on the social groups you find?
Scott, if this is too far off tone, pls give me a chance to re-word it? Or just dump it. Blog niceness is more important. Voted for Hillary, then for Sarah. Supports free contraceptives of all kinds and abortion no limits, and no limits on who can get it.
Supports affirmative action for women preferably without lowering requirements. Supports tenure track adjustments, family leave, childcare, etc, everywhere, and equal pay laws with teeth. Pretty strong versions of all the above. If forming hate-mobs is controversial within the movement, what does that say about the movement?
Can reasonable people agree to disagree about hate-mobs? It is dark matter — it is something you are imagining because it fills a hole in what you want to believe.
We all have the same level of access to tumblr, facebook, twitter, blogspot reddit, 4chan, wordpress, and every single other thing on the internet. Is not spoken for. First, if your problem is with Amanda Marcotte types and your reaction is to attack feminism, you will be reasonably seen as attacking feminism,.
The fact is, there is no meaningful spoken-for strain of feminist thought that disagrees with anything Amanda Marcotte has to say.
I will never credit an argument from your movement, I will never help your movement, and I will say to anyone like myself:. S he posits that real, policy-making, active feminists are too busy advancing actual feminism to reply to the likes of Marcotte.
The zero-sum privilege narrative which Scott decimates in this article is fundamental to modern feminism, and is promoted by almost all the modern feminist advocacy groups. Seems reasonable that plenty of other conflict averse people would be the same. I think reasonable feminists exist, which is not the same thing as saying that reasonable feminism as a movement exists.
I think there is a big difference between blog comments that have favorable opinions of the label and professors, published writers, or even just well read blog authors. If reasonable feminism exists, there are surely links to papers, conference notes, or stand-alone posts that can quickly prove that it both exists and matters.
The net consequences of a movement like feminism is often determined by the outliers and radicals, I agree. Depending on which signals you throw up, different people are going to struggle to read the post without having their brains turn off.
Truthy, but not very precise; it does a better job of designating the villain than it does of informing the reader. This will very predictably create a more polarized readership, with more heat and less light.
The squishy middle, and low-heat efficient LED lights of arguments, are the opposite of what sells newspapers and gets pageviews. Actually I think this demonstrates one of the best uses of the Moloch meme. The demon god of Carthage is still a potent enough symbol that hating it is satisfying, but removed from existing institutions so as to avoid catching any actual humans in the periphery.
Moloch has victims, not allies. Nobody consents, silently or otherwise. Even better, it encourages to look for the strings that Moloch is using to control a particular situation, both as a weapon and as a justification for our Moloch-directed anger.
Normally I think Scott does a really commendable job of being reasonable on difficult issues, but I think for parts of this post he really slipped into chimp-stick-bangining mode. I still think this is one of the better articles on the subject, though, just because mokey-politicking is hard to do perfectly reasonably.
This implies there are only a few types of feminist but I think the slightly reduced accuracy in truth is worth it. First, what the real feminists are doing is, well, doing. Second, if they had time to deal with the sort of magazines that Marcotte fans — or her enemies — read, what magazines would publish them? Third, who has the stomach to dissect that sort of thing?
And they are very wrong. But nothing will stop them behaving like that. There is room for disagreement within feminism. The Real Feminists are there, tirelessly working to change any condition that might harm a woman in any way, no matter how slight or unlikely. But the Real Feminists are too busy to change any condition that hurts men, no matter how large, no matter if it trades on their own name in order to wreak destruction.
The Real Feminists wanted to protect women from domestic violence, so they did something about it. They spoke and used their political power to have laws passed protecting women from domestic violence. In passing these laws, either they or the Not Real Feminists did a lot of harm to men, by erasing and covering up the fact that men are domestically abused as often as women, and enshrining into law the men are presumptively guilty and do not deserve equal protection under the law because they are threats to women.
If the Real Feminists are not responsible for this, then they just saw it happening right next to them, carried out by people using their names and using their political power, and made no effort whatsoever to stop it. This is a tribal conflict. Feminism, is inherently tribal. So of there are fifty reasonable people calling themselves feminists or even just pursuing gender equality, for each Jezebelian, it would maybe be a reasonably good idea if they spoke up.
Heck, even Shagrat and Gorbag a few chapters later come off as just ordinary working stiffs in the wrong place at the wrong time. And you may get shot for it, with the person who looses the arrow not feeling the least bit guilty. Absent explicit dissent, you stand where the tribal banner stands, and you will be judged by the words of the tribal chief.
I am a feminist explicitly uninterested in tribes, lynch mobs, etc. Feminist is a useful word with a long and proud history, and I see no reason not to use it. That would make you an explicitly dissenting feminist, which in this context is a good thing to be.
I take that as being mildly opposed to lynch mobs, which is a mildly good thing. They typically end with everybody in earshot at least tagging along. The number of people hanging around in the tribal commons not talking about lynching, that just factors into the size of the lynch mob that may or may not be raised against me.
If you want to keep the word, you need to fight the heretics who are corrupting — betraying — both it and your ideals. Suppose you are a proud member of Group X. Some costumed mud wrestlers adopt the term X. Will you jump in the mud pit to wrestle them? Probably better to continue clean real work in the real world, especially as, if a known real X jumped into the mud, that would increase their clicks. You are a proud member of group X. Every single time a member of group X has done anything in the public eye, they have been a costumed mud wrestler.
Claiming membership in group X allows costumed mud wrestlers to maliciously hurt people with no repercussions. Costumed mud wrestlers founded group X and have constituted group X for over fifty years.
When you say you are a member of Group X who is not a costumed mud wrestler, am I obligated to believe you? We were working for their Liberation too. I think your metaphor is missing something. This occurred to me as well. I actually am in a weird place here: She is much-loved and respected in my family, and a significant part of my childhood, so I have had plenty of exposure to feminism throughout my life. I explicitly disavow solidarity with the radfems.
Seriously, they no more represent the mainstream feminist view than televangelists preaching salvation or eternal torment on late-night TV or any proselytizing young-earth creationist represent mainstream Christianity for the record, I am non-religious and do not hold Christianity in terribly high regard.
It marginalizes those of us who are trying to improve things. And I personally know a lot of decent people who self-identify as feminist in the motte sense of the word—as I myself did at one point before I met the bailey feminists—but those are the tenets of classical feminism that have been so widely adopted that it makes about as much sense to self-identify as feminist on that basis as it makes to self-identify as abolitionist because you oppose the reinstatement of slavery.
Shakesville gives an unmistakable impression of being run by very decent people who are honestly on the side of goodness and compassion. Melissa McEwan became prominent in exactly the same scandal as Amanda Marcotte did — as feminist supporters of John Edwards whom he wrote of over nasty things they wrote.
The difference is that the Marcotte things were actually nasty and the McEwan things were disagreement with things that other people hold to be sacred. I think Shakesville are bad enough. And I personally know a lot of decent people who self-identify as feminist in the motte sense of the word—as I myself did at one point before I met the bailey feminists—but those are the tenets of classical feminism that have been so widely adopted….
The great mass of cultural believers are important, because they are the main source of power for the Church. But the true believers are probably more relevant for an outsider, because they decide what actually gets done with that power. Off the top of my head: The first four are obviously far more prominent than Marcotte. Butler is a little more prominent. The rest are less prominent. That was off the top of my head. Google hit counts confirms, with one exception: Rebecca Watson, which it places above Oprah.
This is surely because she has a common name. In quotes, she still is a bit higher than Marcotte in quotes. Reading her bio on wikipedia gives no indication that I should have heard of her. Putting her ahead of multi-award winning authors also seems a bit strange, but I guess in the world of new media, writing books does not count for much. Books have never been popular. Thing of Things just recently linked me to an enthusiastic defense of Doxxing by Watson, and Sarkeesian is essentially gender-swapped Jack Thompson.
Maybe I should fix that, but maybe they should too, as it were. Can you post some links to the self-identified feminists that explicitly reject the view Scott Alexander describes? I have gone through the article and double checked that there are qualifiers everywhere there should be qualifiers. Part of what I like about his work is how extraordinarily fair minded it is. There are not many people who can write a defense of a set of ideas they disagree with that could have been written by an articulate believer.
This post felt different, as though the calm, logical persona had gotten entangled with deeply felt emotions—and not just the emotion of favoring truth and honesty. This time it was clear that it was his own tribe he was defending. I feel like Toggle made a valiant effort to leap out of the pit of tribalism and the thread crashed back down even harder. Let me give it another shot:. I would hope this framing can help us explain why a silent majority is not relevant here, without erasing or aggressing said majority.
My girlfriend spent years believing that if you initiated a conversation with someone or sat down near them without permission they would justifiably hate you forever. Both my girlfriend and I are convinced that if we were heterosexual men our lives would have been hell on earth. I found myself thinking that section III is quite weak in comparison to the rest of the post.
Suppose we live in a world where the conclusion is false. Now suppose in that world there is a contingent of horrible nerds who endlessly spam women on dating sites with messages because they feel entitled to sex. Attractive women, in your hypothetical, are being harassed by evil sex-crazed nerds and they have an easier time finding partners.
Regardless of all the reasons a woman would normally and reasonably reject an uninvited sexual propositions, regardless of how uncomfortable a sufficiently large and continuous a stream of such propositions might be in most contexts, in the specific context of a woman having difficulty finding a partner the presence of such a stream of propositions does reduce the difficulty.
A woman in such a position has all the other available options for finding a partner, plus the added option of accepting one of the propositions. I respond that the more interesting question is: I think this gets to the more interesting question as to why women have an easier time finding dates than men do.
I think a big part of it is fear. The other part is probably slut-shaming. The biological reality is that men are stronger than women and more prone to violent impulses. Therefore women must be a little more selective in the partners they choose. Still, freebies are not the only reason to get involved with the free dating websites.
Some of them have pretty nice structure and search options. They can do just what they promise you to do: In fact, some of the best dating sites out there have free membership option.
Still, there are certain cons to deal with. If you compare paid and free membership sites, the free ones would lose, because they may not offer you some of the best online dating tools and features. Plus, some of these sites have problem with fraud. No one does anything to make them secure and there is a chance of getting your personal information into wrong hands there.
They offer you basic free membership. You test the site to see, if it really works and if it is worth your money. Then you make the next step and get paid membership with all the benefits it offers. This is another thing to deal with. Besides the free or paid types of dating sites, there are some widely or narrowly targeted dating websites out there. Here is how it works.
Some sites are open for everyone. They may either do the matches using their matchmaking system, as it is with eHarmony dating site. Or, they may work as a sort of dating social media, where people can free contact anyone in the system.
This may work well for you, but on the other hand it may offer extra challenges at finding the right match. That is why some paid or free dating sites work in niches. Black men and women, including those with a little meat on their bones, are welcomed with open arms at BlackPeopleMeet BPM. Founded in , the website caters to the special needs of black singles — no matter what those needs are. With verified profiles and a free signup, the website gives you easy access to flirtatious men and women.
For big, beautiful, lesbian women, some dating websites offer a niche community of curvy ladies. This BBW dating service is no-boys-allowed territory. Only lesbians and bisexuals over the age of 18 can join. Free members can receive and reply to messages, send winks, instant message, and upload up to 10 photos to their profiles. BBW Dating Plus is open to all orientations of singles worldwide.
Members can send messages and chat for free without upgrading. BBW Dating Plus brings together a global network of voluptuous women and their admirers.
A BBW sex dating site can hook up big women with men who go wild over curves. Search by interest, zip code, photos, more. An ideal place for casual hookups with busty women, BBWBuddies.
Imsges: top 10 nerd dating sites
Having been a lonely, anxious, horny young person who hated herself and was bullied I can categorically say that it is an awful place to be.
HughRistik, who is some sort of weird metrosexual something I mock him because I love him , is telling her feminist shaming tactics have made it worse.
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