The reality of dating an airline pilot
The female perspective must be heard, and understood, which is a skill that can be learned and developed. The trick you see, is a lot like flying. I never planned for this. I dated this man for 1. He treats me like gold.
Hi Gals, I just found your website as I was wondering if anyone else felt the pain that I do. However, this does not mean you are willing to bend. My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 10 of them we met and got together back in high school. When not childless family holidays are fairly cheap! Hi Amy, wow I love your posts! Student loans are even worse. These changes have occurred.
He did an interview coach, and I think he has study material as well. Hi, I stumbled on to this page like most of you. I am newly married to a pilot and I love him very much. We are now a blended family. I have two children and he has two children. This all seemed so wonderful and exciting for all of us. As we settled into our new lives everyone seems to be adjusting well but me.
I want to be so supportive of his career and encourage him in any way that I can but I am starting to build resentment. I use to find it exciting that he would share his days with me by sending random texts and pictures. I now find it hard to be excited for him. My life has consisted of packing, unpacking, setting up our home and being a stay at home mother.
When he calls to tell me his flight does not take off until 9: My exciting day will be three loads of laundry, baseball practice, walking the dog, unloading the dishwasher…. He sees and experiences thing that clear his mind, bring him joy, reset his mind, stimulate his thoughts and bring him back rejuvenated. By the time he enters the house I have nothing to offer, nothing to bring to the table. I have not been outside of our town limits since last summer. He tells me that I should be happy for him and share in his joys.
I know this is true but so much easier to do when you feel fulfilled yourself. This sounds great in theory until you actually look at the fact that it is not possible. My friends are married and the weekends are the times they get to spend with their husbands and children.
There is also child care to consider. I am starting to build the most awful resentment. I want to be happy for him and how much he loves to fly and see all these amazing places but my well and self worth is running dry. How do you develop your own life when being married to a pilot?
Hi Morgan, I know exactly where you are coming from. I felt you were in my head! I also resented my husband! He would be out on overnights having beers and I would be home running the house. There were a few arguments though. The turning point for me was changing my head space and looked at it differently. I can sit here and feel miserable or make myself happy. I stopped relying on him and just arranged my life and the kids.
I told him what the kids had been doing. Now that I look back I think he is the one who missed out on much of family life. Graduations birthdays anniversaries etc …. After 25 years of marriage though we are through the worst. The kids have grown up and now I can go on some trips with him. I still do what I want, but the kids have grown up well adjusted as I have been a permanent reliable figure in there lives and we have been able to travel and see things friends have not been able too.
Ask him to put happiness back into your life. Hi Joanne, Thank you so much for taking the time to write back and give me some much needed insight. It is difficult when your husband thinks your thoughts are coming from a selfish place. Unfortunately, like today…His flight landed near his home town last night and he does not fly out until late this evening. His mother picked him up at the airport last night so he could visit with them for the day.
I know in my heart that is wonderful and would never begrudge a mother that time with her son. His day will be very different then mine…82 degree Texas day strolling the waterfront and visiting…cooked meals, adult conversation, laughing to my 26 degree Pennsylvania day of making meals, cleaning the kitchen, hemming the curtains, getting eggs filled for Easter…household chores.
At that point I want to hand him the laundry basket and shot him an evil eye. How was your weekend? What is wrong with me? I have found myself tearing up through the day just thinking about the dichotomy of our lives.
He has told me that I knew he was a pilot when I married him. You have been married for 25 years so that gives me hope that this can work. I know I have to start building my own life but it is not as easy as he states.. They are involved in sports and other activities and need at least one present parent.
The arranging and adjusting of child care makes an evening out with friends almost not worth it. You said you worked but I can imagine that could be a challenge with children and a pilot husband as well; you must have been exhausted most of the time!
I thought about going back to work but with the children getting off the bus and getting them to school in the morning. His older son, who is 15, does not live with us. He lives with his ex-wife. My husband told me his mother wants to plan a sailing trip for her two sons and there sons this summer so they can all spend time together. May I asked what you did to develop your own life. How do you do that without doing it out of spite?
How do you still love your husband and be excited about your own life that has to be separate from his. It tells you in so many places that pilots have such a high divorce rate. He is a good man and I do love him very much. I know that he has a smile a mile wide in Texas right now and is enjoying his day, I sit here with tears in my eyes.
Thank you for any insight you might have. Morgan, I feel you. They were younger, but every bit of me was drained at the end of the day, and the resentment was high.
What has helped me is running. I was never athletic. But the running has done amazing things to my moods. I have been married to my husband for 32 years and out of the 32 years he was a PILOT…and he is still a pilot… It has been a struggle to say the least being a single mom… He has worked for the sane airline the entire time of our marriage! I have days I want to leave but too much time vested and all of the kids we created on his drop in days are all grown and gone!
How do I ask for a divorce? Hi Jennifer, I feel your frustration. I know why I want a divorce which is that during his entire career as a pilot he will be retiring at the end of August he considers himself a real stud and a chick magnet. As has behaved accordingly.
As I am his first wife, this will be considerable. If you have similar problems, get out — it will never get better. Just go to an attorney and have him write your husband an appropriate letter.
Pilots get sort of weird after a while. They think that because the cabin and cockpit crew have to follow their orders, that everyone else should do the same. It is difficult for couple to have misunderstandings living in the same house and seeing each other every night…it is exponentially more difficult to have a misunderstanding when your husband is a pilot and your means of communication are reduced to brief phone calls and texting.
It is very difficult to read each other or even reach out for a hand to hold. I tried to express to him how I felt about not being a part of his world and it went over like lead. He told me about a run he took earlier in the morning from a hotel in Florida. He told me about the sand and the water, and watching the little crabs. Not every place does. Some are quite boring and the hotels are right next to the airports with no where to go. I feel like we live in two different worlds and that I am really not part of the world that keeps him away.
I hope he calms down a little and we can work through a way to blend these worlds. I signed up to take a once a week painting class at a local art association to try and move my life in a direction that I had my own interests outside of the home and had something to share with him. He though I was being very selfish and tried to pull the joy out of his day.
I pray he is not serious about a divorce. My heart has been breaking all day and I have been in tears. He flies the rest of the day with a couple layovers but has turned his phone off so I can not reach him. I love him, I am trying to make my own life and support his but I am apparently doing a really bad job!! Can you guys get away for a couple days? You need to talk. You both have to want to make the marriage work and really work at it.
Then we exchanged them and read them. Then we talked about it calmly. Maybe that would be helpful? Hi Gals, I just found your website as I was wondering if anyone else felt the pain that I do. I am an ex-wife. What I have realized is that there are many wYs to cheat a marriage — if someone is cold, indifferent, or just mean, that person is cheating the marriage. Pilots who come home and expect their wives to behave like air-waitresses are cheaters.
Get out before you end up doing something stupid like I did. Hi Susie, You did the right thing. I was am one of the stupid ones. I have been struggling with being a pilots wife for quite a while now, but never even thought to look for a blog like this.
All of our friends are couple friends and even though I go out to lunch here and there with the girls, most of them want to spend their weekends with their families and husbands. I understand that completely but still leaves me with way too much alone time. Has anyone else tired of the lifestyle as they and their kids aged??
I just feel like there should be more than this to my relationship and marriage. My husband is a good guy overall. I have been married to my husband for 3. We have a 3 yo and another on the way. My husband is amazing and will start helping out around the house and with our son from the minute he gets in the door to the minute he leaves again.
It is extremely lonely and if I have to watch my 3 yo cry one more time that he wants his daddy home I will cry myself. We are both hubbie and I trying everything we can to find a career change for him. Also, I have made it clear to him that this will not be my life. So we are both on board for a change and are praying it comes soon. I am so glad to have this support. I am newly remarried to a pilot. We each have daughters. They are 10 and I work , but make my schedule so I can pick my daughter from school.
So now when my husband is flying my stepdaughters mother expects me to be the parent. The driving to schools and activities is way too much. With flight delays and schedule of his constantly changing I am exhausted!
I too thought I was the only one. I was married to a Navy pilot for 25 years and he cheated on me. We are divorced and am so happy. Does anyone have advice or insight into the corporate flying world. My husband flies cooperate.
The pay is around k. Usually a lot less flying and much easier job. Will he go to marriage counseling with you? What is the schedule like? He plans to complete his CFI this fall and look for a teaching job. He is from South America and his goal is to get a job overseas once he has sufficient hours, as US airline jobs are tough and extremely underpaid.
I met him living in his country and we dated long-distance for a year prior to getting married, so we have some experience with adaptability and keeping our relationship strong while apart, but reading all these blogs makes me a little nervous about the future. He kind of sees it as impossible and is worried a baby might mean the end of his dreams.
Any insights about this? Hi All, My new experience has been very frustrating for me and I would like to seek for your kind and genuine advice. I have recently been reunited with my ex-boy friend of 25 years ago who is now a captain of a big jet.
Its been two visits so far during the course of the past 3 months and we spent the entire time together usually 2. I must admit that it was more than wonderful each time as in we were the newly weds. Now I am in big distress not knowing when he will return, and spending the entire time waiting for him and missing him badly. It hurts tremendously inside and I just cannot bear it no more. Not to mention, while he was here with me during the 2 and a half days, though he seemed fully devoted to me and very passionate the entire time but was very cautious with where his phone was placed.
So I suspected that he might also be communicating with some special one s at other places at the same time. I so realize that I dont want to be his once-a-month lover in this country, perhaps I should just run now before its too late. Do you all think so? However, trust your gut. If you feel something is wrong, it probably is. Hi guys, My husband and I have been together for four years.
When he was younger he did the air cadets thing, and got his private pilot license. He has always regretted this. He talks about flying like its the greatest thing in the world.
He is currently working in the banking industry, and has since we met. I have grown fairly dependent on him for my happiness in this time.
He switched jobs to another company not 6 months ago, and is talking about flying again, he wants to go through the schooling now. We just bought a house, and i feel that it is a terrible time to even be considering it. But he really hates doing the for some reason.
I do not want him to be miserable, but I know, that I am not personally strong enough to live the kind of life you ladies are living. I would not be happy. Everything I am reading from the wives point of view, tells me no, if he does this, it will be the end of our marriage, maybe not right away, but it will be. We are very open in our communication, and we talk about everything. What I am really looking for here is, what would you do, if given the choice to go back, and follow a different path with your husband, one that has him home everyday for dinner, set weekends, and every night next to him?
Would you give it up? Would he give it up? Christina, All of your concerns are very legit. My husband and I were married for 17 years when he decided to go back to school. Prior to that, he was home every night, coached the kids, all holidays home, every weekend home. He hated his job. I went round and round with him about doing it. He just decided that is what he wanted to do. He went away to school, it was hell. He works for a regional now and that is no better.
The pay sucks for years. He is gone every weekend, birthday, holiday, anniversary. It is very hard. I struggle everyday when he is gone. It was hard for the boys. The youngest just graduated and I am alone all the time now. There are wives out there that do fine. We do get to travel and that is a nice benefit. I wish you all the luck in the world. Let me know if you have any questions. There is a lot more to talk about. It is stressful to do the school and it is stressful to do the initial training, not to mention being on reserve.
Add that stress to an unhappy wife and not being able to afford anything — and a biological clock ticking? We schedule around him. I choose to homeschool the kids to match his schedule, so he sees them more than most fathers.
He has an amazing relationship with the kids and spends a lot of time with them. The first couple of years at home with the kids was rough rough. But it gets better.
There are women of every career that have successful relationships with pilots. I stay at home with our children and that makes things a lot easier, but I was a data analyst when we met and for the first 3 years of our marriage.
We spent quite a bit of time together even then. I used the help given to me on iyareyarespellstemple. And great prophet iyare has done a tremendous, tremendous work in my faith. God continue to bless you for your good work prophet iyare.
I am currently planning my wedding to a pilot who I have been with for 8 years and I love him…I truly do love him. The anticipation I get waiting for him to come home is great and than once he gets home the connection never really gets there. I am starting to panic that I am making a huge mistake that I will never get used to or learn to cope with this life.
Now I just feel depressed and extremely stressed out since it feels like I am stuck between a rock and hard place without a solution. Stay or go I lose on something…. There are days that it is sad as you miss them so much, guess what? It is so ok to miss him. Now I am not one of those wives who thinks I should pamper my husband when he gets home. I work full time, take care of our two kids, and I am going back to school to get my masters degree.
The two days he is home my husband jumps right in as hubby and dad, plus we own a business in town that he runs when he is in town I have nothing to do with this and that does save our marriage. There will be bad days but the good so our weigh the bad. There will be good and there will be bad but that is every marriage.
You will find a groove but it did take my husband and I a solid year and half to balance out after the wedding. Marriage is hard for everyone, you have to fight for it and work hard.
We celebrate our 10th year of marriage in a month. Families make it work. Marriage is always hard, marriage to a pilot is just a special kind of hard. If you guys both go in willing to work on your relationship, you will figure it out.
Glad to have found this blog. He is already in his 60s and retiring in 3 years, so based on the above commments.. One thing that is bothersome to me is the lack of communication while he is away.
It is a new relationship and i must be patient.. This month will be a long separation because he is training on a new plane and will be away for a whole month. He asked for me to be parient and wait for him during this last one stretch…but no communication at all? I wasnt expecting the silence this time. Our last conversation he said he would be more available through iphone when overseas. From our conversation about his last marriage it seems like he did not contact his ex wife that often, and the marriage counselor instructed him to do that every day when they were trying to save the marriage which obviously work because the remained married for a long time after.
I am extremely independent and the separation works great for me but not the lack of being in touch. Being a new relationship i will not call but let him take the lead.
I dont like to be asking people that I need a little reassurance and just let him do what comes out if his heart. Should I be running from this situation? He seems like a very nice man and fun to be with, just bring out insecurities in me when he is away. I have driven for the last 20 years and have made it fine. I have been living with my regional pilot for 3 years. We are engaged and planning to marry this year. Hmmm, If I had a chance to go back in time before I invested as much into my relationship I would have run the other way!
The hardest part about living with a pilot is that they are complete narcissists. Your life will revolve around their career, even if you make more money that they do.
Forget about the idea of having creative interesting conversations over wine about the economy, politics , science or whatever — instead be prepared to bone up on the latest battles within the union, contract disputes, airline industry trends, and what his next career move needs to be. Pilots spend hours on forums and have few non pilot friends so they literally eat sleep and breathe the industry. I have invested too much into this relationship emotionally and financially to turn back now.
I say the only women who should even consider marrying a pilot are those who HIGHLY value travel as I do , those who enjoy a lot of alone time, and those who can find fulfillment in relationships outside of their marriage — close family ties, lots of friends , work etc. Marriage to a pilot does not mean a shared life — it means living a parallel life with someone you love. Wow reading these posts really hit a nerve.
I am married to an airline pilot and we have a two month old daughter. Needless to say…life has been hard. My husband has grown to hate his career because of the time away from his daughter and is seriously looking into finding a new career path. He puts in so much effort though to try and tip the scales so that we are even contributors. So ladies who are married to pilots…remember it could be worse.
They could be stationed overseas, policemen putting their lives at risk or worse…couch potatoes. We are lucky to live in the generation we do.. Actually, I am confused so please help me. I am Indian girl. I have the marriage proposal of Pilot. I am impressed on him Pilot but I have another proposal and he is working in IT industry. Both are very good with very best package, but I would feel proud with Pilot ;.
Please help me for choosing right one. I am really confused. But when I think from my heart it goes with Pilot. But after reading this now totally confused. Hey ladies please help me and tell me something about Pilot profession. My husband is a military pilot switching to the airlines. He is going directly to a major airline. Is anyone on here in the same situation… Advice ,,. All of these comments hits home for me. I also work full-time myself and have recently become aware of how alone and unhappy I am.
My husband and I have been together for 15 years, married for 10 of them we met and got together back in high school.
I feel overwhelmed and completely exhausted all of the time and have no time to take a time-out for myself. I have about 2. He always works on the weekends, so again, I get no break before my work week starts back up. I hate to say it, but there it is. Does anyone have any thoughts or advise for me? Student loans are even worse. First, the kids get better. Once my youngest was 3, it got so much better. Second, the schedules and the pay do get better, but it is easy to feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
Look into EAP, and see if you can get marriage counseling. A lot of times it will be free through your benefits for the first few sessions. This is my second marriage and I was not prepared on how difficult it is to be married to a pilot. I think the airlines would be even more challenging.
I think it would be easier if his salary allowed me to stay home. I work until picking up my daugher. I am either busy all day working and being a mom or alone when my daughter is with her dad. We have 50 percent custody with our 11 and 10 year old daughters. In the last 6 months I have gone through a complicated surgery, and now the flu alone.
HIs job is unpredictable. His clock is off from time change. He needs to get his work out in and has lots of office work when not flying. I feel selfish for even complaining, but i feel pretty alone. He is an introvert as well. I already have yoga and a life outside of him. Most of my friends are married and single friends are out on the town. Try to find a point of understanding or resentment is going to set in quickly.
Are there any other pilot wives near you? Maybe you could do a meetup with them and find someone you have something in common with. My relationship with my pilot just ended. Complete disconnect when he was away, constant disappointment and loneliness and worst of all, gonorrhea.
I dont wanna sleep alone, eat alone,stay home alone.. I feel like he wont be there for me whenever i need him or whenever im upset or what if i got pregnant? My marriage to my husband of 10 years has been a roller coaster ride.
He has missed more than half of our life together. I always thought of him to have good moral character and judgment. I never thought in a million years he would cheat. I recently found a naked picture of a 25 year old flight attendant on his phone. If I could go back I would have never chosen this life. At this moment, my pilot is in Aruba.
He has been laying on the beach all day, getting a tan, siping cocktails and ea ting extravegnet meals. Right now he is at some kind of special event at the hotel where half naked women are dancing on the beach for entertainment.
This life is so very hard!! Hi Carly, It is not easy. It is a hard life and you are not alone. I struggle every time my husband, pilot, leaves. I walk in the house and look at all I have to do and what my next couple days will look like.
Taking care of the kids, little to no adult contact, and a never ending list of things to do. I look at his itinerary and see that he lands in California and will have a day to relax.
To get up when you want, brush your teeth without hearing a child call your name, go to eat a prepared and cleared breakfast, work out for awhile, go for a run, go to the beach, read a book, get dressed at leisure and go work a job where everyone thinks you are wonderful. A little different than the life of a stay at home mom.
The hardest part is trying not to build resentment. I always wished that he could trade places with me for a week but a friend brought up to me a very valid point…. The only thing that I have found that helps is to let go of what they are doing. Live in the moment that is in front of you. When the thought of everyone accommodating them turn your thoughts back to your own life in front of you.
One by one your own daily joys will filter in. Sit with the children at a park on a beautiful day, have a friend over for morning coffee, take a painting class, watch a movie you like…try to do things for yourself, even if it is little.
Know that you are not the only pilot wife sitting at home trying to work through the exhaustion, loneliness, and resentment. I love my husband, and I am sure you love yours but you are both living his dreams…make your own. No wonder your husbands are cheating!
But even he thinks your comment is not in line with the article or the majority of the other comments. I am so glad I found this site, for better or worse. I understood the month of training, but it has really been sinking in all the time that he is away. I have periods of insecurity, which is very much not like me; and one day I realized before I found this site that if we had kids I would be raising them as a single parent.
I am so torn because I do want kids, but I just never dreamed I would be raising them alone. I am a nurse, so I have my own career and am the primary bread winner now. I mentioned not having kids because I would feel like I would be raising them myself and it slipped out that I wished that I knew what his job would be like before we got married.
I just wanted to say that I knew what I was getting myself into. I also know of the shadier characters in the industry but I can tell you that having worked for almost 20 years, affairs and the like are not solely the domain of aviators. So when he enjoys his layovers, good on him! Thanks for writing this blog, I am a current pilot trying to live my life and advance my career. I know that many pilots share similar personality traits, but I think it is entirely possible to live a relatively normal life as a pilot.
Amy nailed it with her thoughts regarding picking the right person. Mostly, wives do not get enough credit for all of the work that they do while we are away. As a result, it is important to help as much as possible, even though it is very tiring retuning from a trip. With the advancement of social media, it is becoming easier to stay in touch.
I often share a digital dinner with my family, and talk to them every day via Skype and FaceTime. I hold very strong values and would never consider being unfaithful to my wife or significant other. Aviation is a lifestyle, and it is important for others to realize everything that is attached to it. One is low pay and high debt. However, if you manage things well it is doable. I totally regret my married life to my pilot.
I have never been so sad and lonely ever. In my opinion, it is a matter of luck and whether the industry corrupts them or not. I met my pilot at He had his private license and dreamed of military then commercial. I trusted him and thought he had such great character and integrity and that he really loved me deeply. We married when I was 21, he After 6 years together, 3 dating and 3 married, he changed.
He was so focused on getting flight school that he would come home from his military desk job and I felt neglected and ignored, both emotionally and physically for months. I cried myself to sleep every night and he never touched me anymore. We had a son who was almost one and I was devastated that he seemed so distant. After a year of crying, I had an affair and I asked for a separation. Twice over the next year I was the one who made attempts to reconcile as I knew I loved him very much.
He said he wanted to, but what hurt was that I was the one who pursued him. He says I did because he finally got into flight school, but that is not true because I was alone and working with our son for months before asking. I wanted to try again. We reconciled and went on to have 4 more children although our 3rd died at full term. That loss was 21 years ago this week. Our children are all grown now and next month will be our 29th anniversary and I regret getting back with him.
Most of all these 20 or so years he has changed even more so especially when he went to the commercial airlines. I stayed at home all these years but he did not let me do the parenting. He would be gone and come home to undo my punishments. We have fought over parenting for years and years. My home was his cockpit too. He also never seemed to forgive my affair and he had his fun too, more than once by sending me messages that he might be cheating.
He never comes to bed even when he is home, he comes to bed late and I always fall asleep alone. His neglect of me that led to my affair, he has made me pay for the past 24 years.
I stayed to raise the kids and yes to try. There really was nowhere else to go when he was hardly home anyway. It is a sad sad situation. My mother recently died and I have been through hell because of it and my youngest graduates high school soon. If he did I would feel it. I have suffered silently for my whole adult life and should have never married him. I beg for romance and time, but he has excuses, he says I am always angry.
He calls me the C word and the B word a lot. He yells at me in the car and drives like a nut only to pull over and leave me with the car and he walks away. He used to be fun, make me laugh, and was a family man at times. What I used to love diaappeared when he went to the airlines.
After we reconciled years ago, he was in the military flying and home most nights. But it has been the airlines that changed him. He comes home saying stuff and I know he has hung around weird people. I have been a stupid fool. I can count numerous times in the 32 years he never wants sex.
Way too many nights alone and bored even when he is home. And no I am not fat. My kids friends say I am hot. I look great and in fact better than the flight attendants. I gave up trying as a wife about 8 years ago when all the profiles were found. He gave up before that apparently. I am devastated that I have been with him since I was 18 and I am so emotionally abused.
I cry all the time and now that our youngest is grown I feel like he has really ditched me. I always gave it my all but was always rejected. He has never known what he has had right in front of him. He only saw airplanes. I pursued a man when I was young who just married me for a reason I do not know. He has never made me believe him that he loves me. I am just a natural born stupid sucker who fell in love, wanted that family and home life, and he wanted airplanes with me only when he wanted me.
I sit here tonight not knowing what I am going to do. I only know that I am sad, lonely, and regretful. Like I said, I was sooooo stupid and still am as of today. It is not a good industry to marry into. Your pilot must have the utmost integrity, and be the utmost gentleman ever, and never question your needs and treat you like a queen.
If you feel unloved, lonely, no sex, no romance, controlled with how you are as a mother, or wife, leave. He has it all, apparently. Everything has always been more important than me. I tell him that, but nothing ever changes. I have medical issues now too that keep me depressed and unmotivated.
I hate my life. I did depend on him for a lot of my happiness, as we have been together my whole adult life. I have not known any other way. Nicholas, who recently commented, I would give anything to know my husband would write what you wrote. You are an example to all the sleazy pilots. I wish my husband would skype and do a digital dinner. Instead he eats with his crew.
He has never skyped a dinner with me or the kids or said he wanted phone sex or whatever. He always has to meet them, amd gets nasty if I want him to stay and talk with me. God, please just help me through this hell of a life I have lived!!! Thank you so much, I appreciate your comments. One of the most misunderstood things in the aviation community is how pilots deal with emotional conflicts and values. In addition, there is the constant pressure from the family to return home, etc.
Values play a huge role in everything people have described here. I was raised a certain way to do what I believe in. There is generally a fine line between what is legal and what is safe. This is how a relationship should be too. The point is this, there are still good pilot husbands out there, despite the general tendency that most have to cheat. The way a person was raised will determine whether or not that the cheating occurs.
The mistress should have strong enough values to know that it is illegal to have an affair with someone who is married, but it is becoming more and more common that those values are being lost.
Values must be taught at a young age and continued throughout their lives. The only way to accomplish this is a total partnership between parents in a family. Thank you for this post! I am a female heavily considering going into aviation but am worried about the affects it may have on my relationship with my long term boyfriend. He says he is okay with it and we have talked through all of the logistics and how it would all work but I am still nervous.
We plan to get married and have a family some day even though we know it will be hard. We have previously made it through long distance where we only see each other maybe every other weekend if we are lucky with minimal problems. But I read his texts from the other pilots and MAN!! Most of them cheat, encourage it, and want him to too. How is that a partner?
We have so much fun together, and we are passionate and happy. But the anxiety and pain I feel when he is away? I feel like I could travel and be more independent without him. My post is negative I know. I dated this man for 1. He then applied overseas for a major Asian airline, we continued our relationship for 5 more months, doing the long distance.
We began to skype message and video call, for 2. Acted like we were a couple again, great sex, when he was here! A couple of weeks after he left, I decided to play detective…found out he has a gf in HK!!!!! Wishing everyone the best! Does anyone here know how to find out what their pension would be? Has anyone else maintained their demanding careers while married to a pilot? Lastly, any advice on how to deal with a pilot that comes home after a trip and tries to run the show?
I run out home when he is gone just fine. The truth is that he is oftentimes right, but it is incredibly frustrating. Hi everyone, I guess I am having one of those moments when I also need to vent. I worked as cabin crew so I know the score but wow how life changes when you are the wife at home with the kids.
My main regret when I look back was leaving the US to live abroad and now moving to a place once again for his job, where once again I have no help or support. I have never had any help with the kids from my husband due to him being constantly tired and jet lagged.
I dealt with the feeding, crying, first day of school, birthday parties, buying Christmas presents, spending Christmas alone etc. That was hard enough but Valentines, Thanksgiving, Anniversaries and Easter alone just gets depressing to be honest. This crazy lifestyle was more bearable when we lived in the Middle East as there were so many pilots wives living on the same compounds in the same situation and we had a great time.
The downside of that however was hearing a constant stream of stories about flight crew affairs, domestic abuse, wives nervous breakdowns and nasty divorces. I continued to work a year after having my first but it became laughable trying to complete a week without having to come in late, go home early or not even go in due to the kids being sick, and guess what, hubby is not home or he is sleeping before an all night 14 hour trip to Sydney.
I gave up work which was not a good idea but my husband was happy that I was around when he had days off. I have made some great friends in the last 2 years but at the end of the day they go home to their normal lives each night and spend all their weekends with their families and I am sat alone with the kids.
If I really knew that my life would end up like this, I think I might have reconsidered marrying a pilot to be honest. There are easier options out there ladies……. My husband admits that after 20 years the novelty completely wore off flying for him and the last 10 years have been painfully boring. He said he now envies his old friends with their normal jobs who are home each night sleeping on the same time zone in their own beds.
Wow that feels better just typing it all out. He is super depressed. Do you know of a support group for spouses? And he did not end his career where and when he wanted to, and feels ashamed.
Thanks to untimely furloughs, he is not in good shape pension-wise either. I feel lonely and overwhelmed. We have a 2. I have zero family support as we live across the country from where our family lives bc of his job. Him being away with work is taking a toll on me. I feel like a single mom. And nobody seems to understand how drainned, exhausted, helpless and alone I feel. I work m-f, my husband is away and my boss still wants me to come in and work in the weekend.
I feel like a terrible mother bc I barely get to spend quality time with my son m-f and so tired on the weekends I sometimes just turn the rev on to entertain him. I have to work to help pay the mortgage and my job is full time or nothing. No option for part time. I resent my husband so much for his job dictating my life.
He treats me like gold. But being married to a pilot and working full-time and being a single mom sucks! We have been together for 5 years. I have been with him since the beginning. Did we mention the free travel? Living the high life. Christopher Stork has been a commercial airline pilot for 14 years.
Based in Washington DC, he has a three-year-old son and his wife is a former flight attendant. He tells us why landing a pilot should be on your to-do list. Being with a pilot means you get bootstrapped to your throttle jockey's pass privileges. This isn't automatic though. He or she may already have a drinking buddy listed as a 'domestic partner' so they can take free trips down to the islands or Vegas together.
But once you've proven your worth, imagine travelling for almost free during peak travelling season, when everyone else is willing to pay to get there.
That's as long as there are seats available on the flight you're hoping to climb aboard. You can look also forward to off-season trips to beaches and icy ski slopes.
And while travel is cheap, you might get bumped from the flight because there's no room you can go home with the memory of being harassed by a security guard - for free! As much as you may love your partner, it's nice to spend some time apart. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, as they say. If your pilot is junior in the airline you can look forward to him or her being away a lot, giving you even more time to watch bad TV alone on the couch. If you have a normal job you'll enjoy many weekends out with your friends telling them about how awesome your new partner is.
Practice this speech because you'll be telling it again at all major holiday gatherings until your pilot is seasoned enough in the airline to hold a decent schedule.
You've enjoyed a four-day break from your pilot partner and can't wait for him or her to come home.
Imsges: pilots dating life
I still do what I want, but the kids have grown up well adjusted as I have been a permanent reliable figure in there lives and we have been able to travel and see things friends have not been able too.
He will be stationed at DFW and I am needing to find housing that will fit his income… goodness… not easy..
House of Heroes music video on YouTube. The arranging and adjusting of child care makes an evening out with friends almost not worth it. I gave up trying as a wife about 8 years ago when all the profiles were found. I have found myself tearing up through the day just thinking about the dichotomy of our lives. I so appreciate your time in replying. I knew that before I took pilots dating life job, so no big deal. I love him, I am trying to make my own life and support his but I pilots dating life apparently doing a really bad job!!
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