A group of us joined the Union and confronted him with bullying. But they have their weaknesses just like any other female. Once I finally managed to escape years and years of gaslighting I did so by buying a digital recorder and recording our conversations. Justice horny crazies like you are just as bad and deluded if not worse than narcissists and full on psychos. I need to forgive myself for allowing me to have bought into the manipulation in the first place. Now my partner and I are expecting a grandchild from our beautiful daughter.
Dangerous people to keep around, even if they are fun. I'm unemployable now, you know. I cant bear to think what it must be like to have a CP as a boss - its bad enough to have one work for you! Maybe forgiveness is the route to healing. They lack real social skills because they attach to others only in order to use and victimize them.
I know this because later he did exactly that. I was devastated and scared of the pain that I knew I was going to feel once I wrote those words. I spent weeks afterwards in bed with a flare up in my spine.
I was in more emotional and physical pain than I have ever felt. I went to my doctor and physiotherapist weekly. I felt like he had used up the core of me, left me as merely an outer shell and threw me to the curb. The feeling of abandonment was excruciating. He had threatened it. He had done it. I was left to try and figure out everything.
Again, when I ended it, he did not debate it and he did not contact me again. He just accepted it calmly and did not seem bothered. I wish I could understand my own drive to chase him down and fight for answers.
The behaviour I exhibited was obviously self-destructive and irrational and obsessive. I can only explain it as someone trying very hard to understand something that was very painful and confusing and the act of someone who was entrenched in an emotionally abusive relationship. And we got back into our relationship. I know this is sad, reprehensible and indicative of how low my self-esteem was at that time.
I know it makes absolutely no sense. I also know that in the case of women trying to leave abusive relationships it takes on average, up to eight attempts before they are successful. The only thing that I can say is that I was emotionally addicted to him as much as someone is addicted to gambling. It was as if I were not just grieving the end of a relationship, but that I was actually detoxing from an addictive lifestyle. At the time it felt like I had a driven need to be with him, that he was somehow connected to my serotonin levels, that I associated happiness with getting attention from him.
When I was with him I was high, and not with him I was so very low. He was my anguish while also being the relief from anguish, just like heroin, alcohol, slot machines.
I was in addiction hell. I also did not know then that there are patterns to emotionally abusive relationships esp. They involve an enamoring stage, a distancing stage and then a discard stage and that all of this creates trauma bonds in the victim. From my research into healing I now know that trauma bonds are incredibly difficult to break resulting in victims going back to unhealthy relationships. Trauma bonds begin when someone employs techniques such as extreme attention in the form of what is termed: This is not unnatural when two people fall in love, normally, but the intensity and the intention of love bombing is different.
First of all, it is completely a lie. It is a power game, a con and certainly not love. In these situations once the perpetrator has the victim hooked, they begin to remove the attention until they are fully bored and then they discard them. I noticed that once I was dependent on P, he would take the attention away in small amounts, only to re-supply it again at his will.
He controlled the amounts supplied based on what he wanted. This is how he eroded my boundaries and controlled my behaviour. Emotionally manipulative people do this over and over again.
It is also termed fractionation in seduction technique circles and it is a form of intermittent reinforcement, one of the strongest behavioural strategies that exist.
It keeps the victim dependent and powerless and trauma bonded to the abuser. This is exactly how I was behaving. To others this appears as crazy and certainly people who knew what was going on, on my writers site lost great respect for me. I understood finally that I was truly addicted to him but I did not know if he had consciously orchestrated it or unconsciously. Either way I was locked in a trauma bond with him.
I remember the feeling exactly of how desperately I wanted to be free of the pain involved with him but leaving seemed like an even more unbearable pain. I kept recalling our previous separation and I was afraid to feel that again.
How trapped and scared I felt. It was truly a horrific time and I had many a day where I thought ending my life was the best alternative to the pain. Finally, in complete emotional turmoil, in September I began to see a therapist.
This began the journey of me learning what was going on. I knew the relationship was killing me. I had to learn how to stop. I slowly but surely began to wake up. Unfortunately during this time were my biggest lows. I had let go of all of my personal boundaries. I was so convinced I loved him, I did the ultimate crazy thing. He refused and I accepted this with a semblance of sadness and relief. I agreed with him and I understood. But asking that of him caused him to become angry with me and he froze me out for a week.
When we finally communicated I knew it was really over. He was cold and rude but I had a new mantra, Do nothing. I willed myself to do nothing, which meant trying my hardest to let him go and not run to him and ask why or try to fix us.
I wished him a good life and I began the process of healing, dealing with it now as what it was, abuse and addiction, whereas before I had believed I was fighting for love.
Even after we ended it every once in a while P would post a poem. Because I was obsessed with understanding still, I would read it. But I remained very firm in my conviction NOT to be drawn back in.
I understood this was about saving my own life. One day he posted a poem about us that upset me and I did contact him. I was angry and told him to stop doing it. I was attempting to set a boundary to prevent him from emotionally sucking me back. I believe he could not handle my boundary. He began to post pieces of writing that had narratives around seducing loving and leaving women online. That is when I suspected he was completely lacking in empathy and most likely disordered.
If P had one inkling of how much I cared about him, which he did, he would have known that making me believe he was seducing women online would shatter the idea I had about our whole relationship and nearly destroy me. He wanted me to think that because he knew this would be the ultimate way to hurt me. I believe he did this because he had lost complete power over me and in that alone, he wanted me gone.
This is the act of a true abuser. This is the stage that in extreme cases in real life, women who were trying to leave, and finally mean it, are extremely abused or even killed by their partners. I am absolutely ashamed of myself for everything to do with this experience.
I have spent many a day fearing I will never recover from the feelings it brings up in me. There are days I feel such great grief and anger I can barely cope. I feel like P stole from me, very personal things, things from my spirit and soul, my innocence, my trust in my own instincts. I know that I would never have shared the things I did with him had I known the cruelty he is capable of, and what his true intentions were.
Everything about us was merely a pastime and a power game to him. He cleverly hid this from me but it was clear at the end. P has treated me worse than any human has ever treated me in my whole life. He exhibited self-serving, exploitative behaviour, what I now perceive as an insatiable gluttony to get what he wanted from me with no regard for my feelings, my heart, my spirit.
He stole from ME. I came far too close to ending my life from the pain of my connection with him. There are days even now where I cannot get out of bed. This has in no way been a normal relationship or break up experience. Obviously what we shared was a flawed and doomed relationship by the nature of it being an affair and online. I know this but that is not what I am discussing. What is important here is what he did at the beginning, the middle and especially the end of the relationship.
All of it involved severe emotional manipulation where someone used tactics of trust building and love mixed with threats of abandonment. He hooked me, he controlled me and then, in the end, he exhibited a perverse evil and desire to harm me. I have never experienced that before. For a year I have been exhausted, broken and obsessive in my need to understand and to heal from this.
P could never give space for helping me understand what happened because he knows deep down what happened. I do not believe P is a good man. Thank you for sharing your very powerful story, Lisa. What they do is indeed the ultimate betrayal. The Unique and Powerful Harm of Betrayal. I could have written this. Only those who have brushed with this insidious evil can comprehend the profound, lasting traumatic effects.
I wish I could talk to you. Wow, this story is incredibly similar to mine. The grooming the love bombing the off and on and the betrayal bond, the marriage and the affair. Rationally I cant believe I even got so drawn into it. Ten years, off and on he is married with a family and I also have all that moral guilt to deal with. I am more often the one who reaches out via text to him… and am often crushed but then he can be so nice and so much fun.
It is about power and control and I dont think he has any remorse or empathy. He was a catalyst to the end of my marriage as well. The rational part of me can see everything about him and warning bells go off and went off regularly right from the start.
But the love bombing hooked me in. And then the distancing and coming back and forth. I see this P around the area I live as we live less than 1 km apart and catch same public transport. I start feeling good and then get a random message from him. I know I need to cut him out of my life, not respond , smile or be friendly etc to him.. I dont even want to spend my energy and thoughts on him any more.
THEN , I miss him. As it was a clandestine affair I dont have any one to speak to and still feel a huge amount of shame for even being involved with a married man. He even went as far as going on an online porn hook up site he is heavily addicted to porn and gave my number out to a random stranger.
God, there is so much more confusing emotions and depth to this story. He made it clear he was seeing others and playing the entire way through, and it was only a sexual affair. He is an amazing liar and seems to get enjoyment out of being a predator. Being proud of it almost. Like you this has no way been a normal relationship or breakup and I cant find closure. Moving forward is so difficult.
How do I stop allowing this P into my thoughts and be strong enough to hate this guy. Ironically, those bonds are the strongest. You may know the logical thing to do is to stop seeing him, but your emotions are at odds with that logic—and given the choice, our brains go with emotion over logic. This article by Rhonda Freeman, a neuropsychologist, explains it well: Best of luck to you xo.
Thank you so much for listening and caring and understanding. Your website is helping me so much. Im trying to not act on my thoughts as you suggested and just let it be that i will have the thoughts but that is all they are. I am resisting the temptation and urge to do anything. My first reaction is to somehow let his wife know… but then thats all about me just wanting to hurt him and stop his carnage, and really if I look at my motivation for that then its not very nice for anyone and completely selfish.
Time to read more on your site just to help me get through this bump. Seeing him makes it more difficult, though—is there any way to avoid him for several months, or even just a few? I believe she already knew. With serial cheaters like him, most wives catch on. By the time I figured it out, I was too hooked to walk away. Anyway… Rhonda Freeman, PhD, has written an article in perfect time for your questions! You can read it here: Once again thank you.
And no I am not going to ACT on those impulses. Thanks for understanding and not slamming me for being involved with a married man. Some psychopaths are married, and all of them who are continue to prey on others. This is a safe zone for victims of married psychopaths.
An update … the guy who was texting me turned out to be him again.. In the end once I absolutely knew for sure, and on his birthday I sent him back a text calling him out. Wished him by real name happy birthday and said no more lies and no more hiding.
He has gone now. But did come and sit next to me on the transport to work last week. This week has been a struggle again.. He just liked to mess with my head and heart. Six months is still a very tender stage, and only the beginning of healing from this kind of exploitation. I hope it helps, and I wish you the best xo. I will forever be looking over my shoulder or out of my window in the middle of the night. I am definitely no contact and soon add my story here.
Believe it or not, there is an end. It takes a while. Am I being controled. Becase I feel like a maid in my own home and I feel like I have no privacy. Am I being controlled. Get away from this abusive asshole at once. Unless you want to live in a prison, under a microscope, without any freedom, without any rights, while you slowly lose yourself—your self-worth, your confidence, your health and your spirit.
Best of luck to you, Tammy. Why is it that it takes so long for the crying to stop when the brain clearly knows that leaving was a good thing? And why does the heart finally wise up and lighten up after around two years? I wonder if there is some psychological or chemical explanation for that. I realize that some grief continues in the background, but after two years, it seems many victims make a huge leap forward in their healing. For me, after the classic encounter of empath meets psychopath, it took two years for my self empathy to exceed the empathy I had previously had towards him.
As soon as the balance tipped, it all got so much easier to understand and let go of. Yes, there is a chemical and psychological explanation, Stripped. To answer your questions, please read this article by Rhonda Freeman, PhD, a neuropsychologist who helps abuse survivors understand their experience: It took me just about two years to make that huge leap—that seems to be the average—and then another year to finish the job.
Good insight about your self-empathy exceeding empathy for him. Many of us tended to put others first. It takes a while and happens gradually. Our brains are wired to go with emotion over logic and so are our hearts. I wrote a post for readers who were married or were victimized by someone who was. Hi, not really sure where to post some of my story…so here goes.
He has become very interested in t children all of a sudden but I know it is all false. Long story short…I am so grateful that I am finally out of denial after a 7 year marriage from hell.
I wish you and your children all the best as you go through your divorce xo. I started dating a psychopath a little more than two years ago, the summer when I was 18 and she was We met through a mutual friend, and she rushed the relationship while I wanted to take it slow. For the longest time I considered that one of the best summers of my life because of how euphoric she made it all out to be.
I stopped hanging out with pretty much all of my friends, and started neglecting my family, all the while just spending more and more time with her.
Then I started college at a university about an hour and a half away from where I live, and she started her senior year of high school. Things were fine at first, we thought we could make it work for a year until she graduated.
But everything changed about midway through the semester. She became distant, and never wanted to talk anymore. But I had been home to see her every damn weekend and most Wednesdays we met inbetween to eat and do other things. She blamed me for our relationship being so awful. She said it was my fault we were so far apart because I went to a school an hour and a half away, when there was a community college I could be going to about 30 minutes from where she lived.
I tried to explain to her I made the decision to go there months before I even met her. Then I would finally make it home for the weekend and things would be fine. When it was time for me to leave she would cry and pitch fits, not letting me leave until 1 AM or later, with an hour and a half drive to my dorm and an 8 AM class. It was all about her. Then her crying and sobbing on Sunday nights got worse.
During the week, all I did was lay in my dorm and wait for her to call. I pretty much had 2 friends my whole freshman year of college: This was strange for me because in high school I was a very sociable person. I played varsity football, basketball, and baseball, and received an academic scholarship to the university I attend.
She completely changed who I was. I hated myself but I loved her. I had no idea that there were people like her in the world. A small fun fact: I went home to see her all but 2 of those. My dad finally intervened the summer after my freshman year. He told me he would kick me out and never help me out financially again unless I ended it with her. I finally left her, butLook..
I went into a rampant alcoholic stage, only at the age of A stupid and life changing mistake that was. We dated in secret until February of this year, until I found a strong core of new friends who helped me end it.
She had actually taken an attempt at my life, which just totally blew my mind. I realized she was mentally sick and unhealable. I told my dad of our secrecy and he was pretty pissed, but understood. I was finally done with her for good. Until she came to me a month later with a signed piece of paper from a doctor saying she was 2 months pregnant. How did this happen? My daughter is almost a month old now. I am still not with her, and she is engaged to some other poor soul now.
We are about to start an extreme custody battle. How can I deal with all this? Thank you for telling your story, Nelson. I wish you all the best. I met a guy at work. Handsome I thought, smart and a bit sarcastic, extremely well mannered. I felt like i was 16 years old again I am 28 now , completely mesmerized. I look good no false modesty here but I felt I was a shadow compared to him. Things evolved pretty quickly and in no time I found myself completely in love, living just to get home to see him.
Elegant, funny, charming, I felt truly blessed. He introduced me to all his friends and family, and was impeccable with my friends. I was constantly lying to myself, saying he was introvert and maybe he will open up to me. We were talking marriage, kids! I was so blinded and deep into this thing. I thought that maybe at some point he would open up. I sensed sarcasm and sometimes I felt that he was really mean, I mean truly mean and enjoying this.
Anyway, he told me one night out of the blue that we are done, that he never loved me and to come the next day to collect my things. I was in complete medical shock for five days, traumatized, panic attacks, anxiety, fear, on the edge of craziness, obsessive thought.
Every second was a fight. Hello, Am unsure as to how I add my story to this page. I met him at school, he claimed to have an illness — it hard was not to feel sorry for him because he looked so helpless and weak.
Everyone at school, myself included, bent over backwards to meet all of his needs and kiss his ass. He was a master puppeteer who could easily make anyone do whatever he wanted.
Looking back on my encounters with him, all the signs of psychopathy and narcissism were there. He always told grandiose stories of his amazing accomplishments, he name-dropped celebrities and other well-known people in nearly every conversation, he loved to brag about giving to charities and flaunt his status and wealth. He loved being the center of attention. Somehow he ended up telling me about a business he was starting, and he wanted me to be a part of it because of how smart and talented he thought I was he always showered me with compliments, which made me feel good I agreed to work for him and help him any way I could to make his dream of owning a business come true.
I honestly wanted to help him because despite his health problems, I truly believed in him and I wanted to see him become successful. He would text me, all day and night telling me all the things he needed from me. He even manipulated me into giving him my personal info, which could have easily been used for identity theft. This made him even more angry and he continued to harass me via text throughout the rest of the night.
I just thought he as in a bad mood and he would be over it the next day, so I turned my phone off and went to sleep. I was wrong — because by replying to his irrational text messages just made his anger even worse. At this point, he was insulting me and threatening me. He also tried scaring me by saying that I needed to sign documents if I wanted to leave the company, which I knew was complete B.
Even though deep down, I knew that everything he said was false, it really messed me up mentally that he called me crazy because it made me question if I really was the bad guy, if I should feel bad for not giving into his demands.
Being called crazy made me doubt my own reality, and wonder if I should accept his reality instead. This is a common manipulation tactic known as gas-lighting. Idealizing, devaluing, and discarding is typical psychopathic behavior that I can now see that they do to everyone.
During this time, I was so confused that I did research to try and piece together what the hell had just happened to me. By doing research on the psychopath I found out that he had a fraudulent business in the past, which had been written about on the website Ripoff Report and other websites. I also found out he had been accused of other crimes. It became clear to me that I had been involved with a scam artist.
One of the things I try to remember is that, if I had a son or daughter, and if someone treats me in a way that I would never want my hypothetical son or daughter to be treated, then I immediately walk away from that person.
Trying to maintain a relationship with a psychopath, or any other unstable personality is doomed from the start. The fact that these kind of relationships always end in flames is not our fault.
I can have long-term healthy relationships if I want. It took a long time for me see things for how they really were, and to see that I was an innocent victim who was just trying to help a friend out and that I never agreed to be manipulated.
It took me a long time to see that the way he treated me, is a way that no human being should ever be treated. Thank you for telling your story. Hi, I was so glad to read your story because I feel like abusive relationships with psychopathic best friends are often overlooked even though they often feel the same as though it was romantic.
Thanks for sharing your story! Just about everything on this site applies to any kind of interpersonal relationship, but it would be helpful to have more information and support specifically for those victimized in friendships. Maybe you should consider starting a website? We met in a bar. A bar you say. Can I be any more ridiculous? I like to say it was a restaurant. One of those awful, generic fern bar restaurants. He was cute in a nerdy way. He was playing the trivia game. We were flirting across the bar and he stood up and walked away.
And the fact that we were so compatible. The first night we met! Ridiculous now that I think back on it. We chatted the rest of the night. I got in his car and we went to a nice park by the river. I ran through some sprinklers because it was August and I was hot.
He declared me the coolest chick he had ever met. It was a romantic, heady night. Like in all of those damn romantic movies. After that night, we spent every day together. He moved in after two months. He actually moved out once. In hindsight, which is about as useful as closing the barn door after the cows have escaped, I probably should have just cut him loose. I took him back. And we resumed our now realized sham of a relationship, I, ignoring all of the red flags, got married to him and procreated.
He was as frequently on travel. I stupidly agreed to become a stay-at-home mom. It was the biggest mistake so far of my life. I was wholly dependent on him for support. Angry a lot of the time. But there were the moments of happiness that kept me going. He isolated me from my family and friends. I know it sounds crazy that an adult woman could have her electronic devices taken away. I wish I could. But I went along with all of his demands.
Just to keep the peace. The fights were so exhausting. The calls to the police by him saying I was the abuser. The times he was committed to mental institutions for psych holds by various people. I should have known better.
I should have cut and run. I should have been alone and financially unstable instead. He was a big spender. I have more money now that we are divorced than I ever did. The day I kicked him out of the house was preceded by the worst abuse I had endured so far. We fought over the weekend. He was yelling and screaming as usual. He threatened to kill himself with pills and booze and tried to leave after having taken an entire bottle of valium.
I tried to stop him. Take his keys away. He threatened me and tried to take his keys back and then threw me down the stairs and started choking me. My eight-year-old daughter was trying to pull him off me.
It was a nightmare. The next day I told him to leave. I called the police that night and the following day. I took out a restraining order. He showed up at our house a week later aftr he git out of the mental ward with presents for the children and flowers for me. As if this was just a normal spat. There was nothing normal about our relationship.
It was only the illusion of normalcy. This is painful for me to write. And I hate him. The father of my children. The children, Who have now been roped in by him to continue to abuse me. The two people in my life who I wanted to spend so much time with. The two people who I thought were my best friends. They are his tools for continued abuse. I deserve so much more. I should just shake it off. I am tired of repeating myself on this point. But I will do so until the end of my days. Because I feel I am a good person.
Flawed, yes, but ultimately a kind and understanding person, willing to give all of me to a deserving person. But yes, I am a survivor. But yet I do. I will never forgive him. Maybe forgiveness is the route to healing.
However, perhaps we are talking about forgiving the wrong person. To get to healing our devastated psyche, maybe the person we need to forgive in an abusive relationship is ourselves. I need to forgive myself for allowing me to have bought into the manipulation in the first place. I need to forgive myself for the mistakes I made by engaging the psychopath. For making excuses for the psychopath. For not setting boundaries. For not putting an end to the madness for so long. I need to understand why, being a relatively smart person, why I let the madness and degradation and abuse go on for so long.
What was I thinking? I want to forgive myself for allowing myself to be sucked into the false hope of love. Love is a lie in an abusive relationship. Love is not present. Only the allusion of love. Because I was desperate to have the kind of love I dreamed about.
I need to forgive myself for the hope I had that allowed my abuser to take advantage of that desperate hope. I am not there yet. But I have to believe that severing my ties with my abuser is a good first start to healing. Try finding a support group in your area, maybe at your local domestic violence organization. Thank you for sharing your story, Mephie.
Hi, I totally relate to almost everything you said. I am currently divorcing t psycho after 7 years of marriage. The last straw happened for me about 3 months ago when he threw me on t ground in front of our children. I made a case if assault with t police. He is such a disgusting human being …. I makes me sick to see how he acts with t children because I know it is all a facade. I am just grateful I see him for what he is…an abusive arsehole who has used his mental illness as an excuse for deplorable behaviour.
He is such a liar. They are both black holes …even his brother said this too. Like you I am also financially dependent which made me a sitting duck. I endevour to get myself to a point of self- sufficiency asap. Thanks for letting me share. It would break my heart. And as I am writing this it seems so crazy but I know people here understand what I am talking about. Backed Into an Emotional Corner. I struggle with my loved ones not understanding. I need to go to others, like my therapist, to get that validation I guess I wish I could get that validation from my friends, as well.
I feel like they should understand, I guess. I realized it was just very frustrating and futile, and my energy was much better used finding people who would understand. Even though each of them was destructive in his own way, Jake not his real name stood out in his own unique way.
We met at a blood bank that I used to work at. I was the one who took his medical history and his first blood donation. Donors were required to wait 6 weeks between donations but Jake started showing up several times a week requesting to see me. He was a very good-looking, recently-divorced guy who looked like a blonde version of the country singer Clint Black-had the cowboy boots and hat to match.
He was always very complementary of my looks and always had nice things to say about me. Being somewhat insecure at the time, I relished all the compliments. They made me feel really good. It was really sad to admit that my fragile self esteem relied so heavily on some man telling me how pretty I was…..
He probably asked me out about 5 times before I said yes. The date was on. The first date he took me out for a steak dinner which was nice. We went to a movie afterward. In fact, nothing physical ever happened the entire month we went out. After that first date, he kept calling and calling.
He said he really wanted a chance to get to know me some more. He told me I was sweet, pretty, etc. This good-looking guy really likes me! The next date was also on! The following weekend, he met me at a Mexican restaurant and later on we went to see a movie. The dinner conversation was very pleasant and the movie was good. Afterwards, he took me riding around town and this was when I began to notice that conversations with him were really very one-sided.
He talked a lot about his job, his ex, his kids, his life, etc. It was really weird! I just chalked it up to him being recently divorced and needing to vent. After he dropped me off, I wondered whether I would hear from him again. We went out on several more dates which were basically no different than the first two. I guess I kept going out with him because I was hoping that sooner or later the real Jake would emerge-you know the sensitive, kind, vulnerable man that I was so sure was laying beneath the surface.
On our last date, we decided I would meet him at his house. That was the first time I had been there. He lived out in the country and I had misjudged how long the trip would take. I arrived about 30 minutes early and as I approached the front door, I could smell the faint but distinct aroma of pot.
I knocked on the door several times. It took him a while to answer since he had heavy metal blasting on the stereo. I thought that was unusual-I had always assumed he was a country music kind of guy but……oh well. He answered the door a few minutes later and seemed a little irritated. Wanted to know why I was there so early. He invited me in and went to the back to finish doing God-knows-what. I noticed smoke coming out from behind the microwave and yelled out that I thought his microwave was on fire.
He came back in to the kitchen with a sheepish look on his face. He reached behind the microwave and pulled out a still smoldering marijuana joint he thought he had put out. He had thrown it behind the microwave when he came to answer the door.
That cat was now out of the bag. So anyway, he took me back into town for dinner. While eating at the restaurant, he continued to talk about himself and only himself the entire time-never once asking about me. This is when he began to morph into Mr. Hyde- although his Mr. He constantly looked down his nose at me as if he was sizing me up-looking at me as if I was a disgusting piece of trash.
The look of contempt that began creeping up on the side of his mouth was becoming more and more obvious by the second until it developed into a full blown Billy Idol-style sneer.
Anyway, after dinner, we went back to his house to watch a DVD. I sat on one end of the couch and he sat on the other. Periodically, I would catch him looking me up and down with a look of disgust on his face. This was a man who just a few days ago was telling me how nice and pretty I was and now he was sizing me up like I was crap. After the movie was when things really started to go south.
Then he tells me that no woman could ever compare to his ex wife. He then goes on and on about how beautiful his ex was, what a great cook she was, and etc. He said no other woman could hold a candle to her. He raved about her beauty and said that next to her I was only just attractive. I was absolutely horrified and stunned! I felt tears come to my eyes. He them asks me to leave because he had to get up early to go out of town for work the next day. I walk outside to go to my car and this poor, stray dog walks up to me from the road.
I bend down to pet and talk to the dog all the while trying to hide my tears. I knew he was a lost cause. A few days later, he calls me from his job site out of town, apologizing profusely for the way he acted, blaming it all on his recent divorce.
He told me he still wanted to be friends. Our contact, from that point forward, was strictly on the telephone. I stopped taking his calls. Shortly after that, he came back into town. He came in claiming he wanted to donate blood but he really was looking for me. He got angry with my co-worker, who was taking his donation, and ripped the needle out of his arm. He then demanded to know where I was at and cussed out the staff when they asked him to leave.
He then proceeds to knock down stacks of pamphlets on one of the display tables and rips a telephone out of the wall. He is a real psycho and I feel sorry for any other woman unlucky enough to cross his path! Wow, Stacey, this guy was a real creep. Thank you very much for sharing your story here. Thank you so much for this article. He fits the profile perfectly!! He was truly enjoying by hurting, belittling and humiliating me. He has no heart and I told him so.
Even if he does something nice there is no emotion involved. Like he broke-up with an email with his ex and a year later he gave her some money for her trip to India. His explanation was that he did not want to be hated by her. And he told me that he wanted to do something nice to someone…and it happened to be his ex… I think that he did it just to hurt me again.
He lacks any consistency, he loves porn and teenage girls, he is 44, I even asked him if he was a pedophile. He cannot experience a human emotion, I witness this so many times, he can be so rude, cold and calculative that it makes me sick in my stomach when I think of it. Also he was not capable of recognizing love and anything good I was giving his in my naivety. He took advantage and soon after that I was disposable.
He even told me he cannot do relationships. He confessed that he felt nothing when his mother was dying right before him at the hospital. He enjoyed saying the coldest and hurtful things tome on the next day after we were close and I believe that he liked doing it. Also he did not have a conscience and in any attempt from my side to talk to him he was focusing only on the negative stuff and he never acknowledged any of the good things I have done for him.
He never apologized to me or truly accepted my apology. He is not capable of forgiving. He also enjoyed humiliating me before others just for the fun of it and when I was beside myself and I told him hurtful things as well, most of it was true anyway, then he used that against me. The other thing he was doing just to make me feel bad was praising other women for the smallest, insignificant thing and never appreciated anything about me, although I receive compliments all the time even from strangers.
He wanted to make me feel insignificant, strange and bad. And yes, he has a shady past and he keeps talking about it even to strangers just to get attention and compassion. He is not capable of feeling any gratitude even towards those who went out of their way to help him.
Externally he plays the role of the humble, dutiful guy, but internally he mocks almost everyone and feels superior although he is working in a barn. He behaves like he is smarter than anybody else and minimizes any good qualities in others. Sexually he was very long lasting, perhaps because he did not invest any emotion in it, and it felt like making love with a machine… It was surreal.
He almost never said anything sweet or nice to me or in the rare cases when this happened I did not feel he was truly sincere. Once he told me that he was strange and I should find someone normal, but I was so blind to think that he was exaggerating… He lured me into getting close to him and then he wanted to discard me without any remorse or anything. He is very moody and whimsical and was acting all the time. As to his body language, I have noticed that sometimes his eyes looked completely without expression like glass or he had a really hard time even to smile at me.
He shared that he never cries. You should really tell someone, and get away from him. He is only there to feel in power, knows he can control you and will do so at any cost. You deserve better than constant misery. Its better to be alone than put up with his degeadation of your self worth. The lord Jesus loves all and no one in this world is trash Or should let them selfs be trash for someone else I grew up in abuse and walked away. Its never the answer too harm your self you where made for a purpose With out any of us there would be no plan we are one with the father it even says in the bible when we come too him and ask to be saved and forgiven he makes us new.
Im his righteous child he loves us and wants us too have a personal relationship with him so he can share his love an peace with us Pray for what too do And get away from people who hurt you Follow Jesus and you will find the right person iv made a Jesus followers on fb if you have any questions its open too the public Please know that you are loved and never alone.
And you are in need of psychological assistance. Then you feel as if you are not worthy to live. That means that you are crying for help. You need to be removed from that kind of environment immediately. He is a loser scum and you are allowing him to be a loser scum upon you. The difference between me and you is that with loser scum like him, he ends up looking like the complete fool for a man that he actually is upon me. I am not a self harmer.
What I am is that I am an extrovert. I anger at people like him instead. If he treated me like he treated you I would rip him apart. He would end up fearing me. Its apart of me that I have always hated. And its a part of me that has been that kind of woman that does and can defend herself against a piece of shit like him.
They do require an army against me. And that army fails as them. They can be predator. They can do a great many things as a predator of an army. And what America showed me is that as my counselors against them that we are the finest of people who will die for our civil rights against uncivilized people like him.
I am not dating but Married to this man Im with now and we have two kids together, He has physically hurt me and verbally hurt me in the past. One time I got so tired of having a phone becasue he would just keep accusing me of doing something and I ended up breaking my phone and he got mad and came into the room where I was laying on the bed and started hitting me in the head. I started yelling and the neighbors called the cops. When the cops showed up he was going to tell them he hit me because I threw my 2 month old on the ground if I tell the police he hit me.
He calls me a stupid Idiot, a dumb ass, whore, slut. Three years ago he gave me a concussion and put me in the hospital knocked out and he actually was in jail a few months.
His mother would not take me to the hospital when it happen. She kept me in the room and shut the door becasue she could never see her son in jail so she would lie for him to protect him. Which he ended up in jail anyways with a mistometer of domestic violence.
Years of abuse I have so much anger in me that if he hits me I lose it and he uses it against me that I made him so mad that he hit me.
That I wanted him to hit me because I kept going and going and that I know how to push his buttons so there is something wrong with me that I fight with him.
He does not abuse our kids. There was a time though where we started fighting and my one year old got so scared he started to cry. When my son and her are crying i will get overwhelmed doing it on my own and he will say to me you wanted this right?
It is very hard trying to feed a baby while holding a crying baby I think anyone would get overwhelmed. I want to succeed as a family because the statistics are extremely low with divorce rates and we both admit we are not right.
We have decided counselling so I will see where it goes I just want him to change so i can have a healthy happy family.. We go to church and started eating dinner as a family so there is a few changes that have been going on for a few months now sense counselling started. I hope to progress and I bless all of you out there struggling like me. We were both raised from families that were really crazy and abusive, on drugs. All I know is I want to be the small percentage who makes it.
I want to walk out and say I did it. My husband knows what he does is wrong. He will admit it. I just hope I can make it another day. What ever you do, did not committ suicide, he would then win. You have to assess yourself from how you were before you had gotten involved with that person. Find your past strengths and your weaknesses, you must turn them into strengths. I hope that you attend a nearby church or have a strong religious family or member that you can talk with and pray with or contact an abuse out reach program, take part in sessions.
You may have to get a peace order against that person, so that the threats are being legally recorded. You are a beautiful human being and you need to be treated as such. God bless you always and may God keep you protected. You have to get out hunz asap,its not easy but you have to,im in the same position,ive got him out and a restraining order,at the moment ive changed my number,i have kids with him too ,hes using suicide at moment ,but hes used that a lot of times, make that first move hunz you have to for your sake,xx.
No Dont kill yourself Get a job Save money Stay busy Listen to music Get help from family and friends You werent born to end your life You matter Things will get better!!!! Do you live with him? Suicide is not the answer. My partner is all of these. He has mastered the art, he rarely texts me and its usually only one word or I love u babe. He is driving me crazy.
I used to be Sooo happy and loved my life. I asked nicely and sat down, he dragged me off the lounge onto and across a concrete floor grazing my body and out onto the gravel. His son was laughing and his parents came down, they took my shoes and said I need help. The whole time I co operated and done as they said. I am constantly contemplating suicide. I am ment to go back to work and I will at almost closing time. I do have some hope though.
I just looked at a little unit for myself. U should at least try. Forget I said that. If ya wanna yarn or something. Embarrassed me and goes out of his way to do so. Tells me how worthless I am how nobody likes me or. He throws my belongings out. We live in his now but before he moved in withstand my son in my home all paid off and mine.
Dont let some Douche bag send you over the edge. Keep your head up, always tuck and roll when you have to and make your landing the best landing ever. Get away he will even say Im gonna kill myself please its all about them if he really meant that hreat of suicide he would of already done it. There just talk tactics to change it around the focus s on them its about them acting out like a child because a mother creates a narristic child.
IIm free I have a scar on wrist homeless no job no man but I have my dignity. Everything but the cloths situation was my ex. He just left me a couple of days ago and I am hurt and sad at this time BUT in the real world it was the best thing for me. I called the police 2weeks ago, I had bruses from a week ago 2weeks ago, a couple of days ago and from that same day when he hit me with his fist on my check.
My check had a bump but no bruises and the charges were dropped because my bruises were old ones. My whole body was covered with them. He was so mean with his words also. He would tell me that his other woman made better sex then me and tell me I was dead in bed and of course his excuse was because he was upset at the time.
I put up with this for 1 and ahalf yrs. He is a 3rd sticker for beating his ex and his other ex. I thought this was it and he would never get out but the law was on his side.
I have always been a very happy person and so full of energy and have felt beautiful until he took all that from me. The other day I had dinner ready for him and I asked him where he was cause had jus t gotten out of work and I wanted to have his plate warmup for him.
He came into the house and was very upset because of the way I sked where he was. I ran into my car and he ran after me and was trying to break the window but I took off as fast as I could.
Im not the same person I use to be, Right now I hate my life and very disappointed with myself. We have known eachother since Kinfergarden and we are both 50 now. How can a man be so cruel and treat good woman like shit. Prior to this I was married for 30yrs to a drunk and my ex always said that because of the way I am is why I cant keep a man…I tell him, well I had one for 30yrs.
He hates my ex, he dont want me talking to him and we have 4daughters and 12 grandkids. He is a sick man and right now this is helping out just by sharing this.
Be glad he left!! People like him are the devil!!! You can do much better then that. I would not reply to any emails, phone calls or text. I know what you went through mine was all mental abuse but that can be even worse sometimes. He got mad because I decided to stay with my husband.
My husband is a awesome person. I just feel sorry for the next victim. Do not allow him to control you. Stop being at his beckoning call. If his food is cold then let him warm it up. Go and seek counseling for being abused at an outreach program and to your church. You need to talk with somebody that could possibly be a witness to your case.
God bless and keep you always! Take care and God bless! While i caught him with used condoms n he denied sleeping with some girl, forgave him cause i felt alone, lost all my friends cause of him. But thanks to all your comments that nigga gone. I wasted 4years with a psychopath. I have been with someone like this for 5 years and we have 2 kids together.
He is always accusing me of cheating or talking to another man and I have told him over and over again that i am not but he still has this thought in his head that i am. I would leave while he is at work. And no he can not take your kids unless he can prove you unfit. I know I would not stay mental abuse is worse the physical abuse! And your kids see him do you like that then they might think it is ok for dad to treat mom like that.
If you have friends and family willing to help you I would leave. Let your boss know what is going on to and your hr person they could help you and the kids. I had a friend that was in the same boat you were. I dont know what state you are in but each state has different laws. I would wait until he is at work and get out with the kids. I would check with a lawer to fine out what your rights are. Im younger and im scared that im trapped. I want to break up with him but im afraid he might hurt me and i know theres no way i can help him.
How do I even begin to detach myself? I dated a girl called johanna krisi tolonen. She is worse than a psycho. She is manipulative and incredibly possessive. The worse part is that she had kids and uses her kids as an excuse to use men and take money from then. Is this even legal to have someone like that taking care of kids?
He feeds of of it. I lost my babies and found out one us in a foster home terminal at eleven. I feel I deserve this for failing them. I love u…they are not love. These types of men are all over the country. Some of them listen to music to tell them to assault, womanize and treat women like this and that.
And I refused to be in that kind of relationship with one. They are womanizers for men. Where men all over the country angered at them. Made apologies to me over predators for men upon me. They are women who made statements that as lesbians that they decide to kick that kind of man out of their bed. And as lesbians with what I told them that lesbians as predators upon me stated, that thats when they as lesbian turn around and beat the shit out of that woman as a predator upon women.
Most of the men stated that they wanted the mens names that were like this upon me. Some wanted to murder them. I spoke to people and then they told their people and what seemed like a turn of events who bombed other people due to what I told them. It seemed like it was going to be a war globally against these psychopaths upon me.
I was not stupid. I simply asked questions to these people about psychopaths who are predators upon me one woman as an army of people of predators. When law does not do their jobs and threaten me in what other people were doing their is catastrophe for them not doing their jobs when I did mine as a woman.
I am that strong for a woman against predators for people. Do not start a relationship with a man that is anything like I described upon you as women. Look for the necessary means of him being a nasty ugly vicious little pathetic apathetic little overt man. He will think he is funny at your expense. He will talk badly in regards to you for attention only from other people. He will do things to get paid by such predators for people at your expense. I am that tough as a woman.
They called me the dangerous daughter. Where I could kill if I had to. If I had a gun or knife in my hand when predators attacked me they would be dead by me. Women devastated by such a psychopath were on vacation and what they were talking about was how she was going to kill him if he put his hands on her again.
She actually was very sweet and stated how to do to me. And I am knowledgeable on how to. She wanted to use her legs to kill him in defense.
And I only have to use my teeth and my hands. My legs are lethal weapons of their own. So, I let these women teach me. And I let these women trick police into getting a man arrested for harassment while she was actually the harasser of him. I watched the police obey her acting and posing. She even at times tried to get the man murdered by other men. She wanted her drunk man to murder her boyfriend. I watched it all. And I stated, these women are unbelievable.
I have watched women in rooms plan together how to rip apart their men. I never imagined that womanizers for women would get together and rip apart my entire life with their men as psychotic lunatics of them.
I know his version of a breakup was — not my version of one. That is to mean that he thinks he can keep coming back. I have done that too. But in the end , you may of got out. Safety first but l felt Confused and full of restements.
This also left a control for him too come back for me. I had a part too. I picked it and let the cycle go round and round. This is so true!
I wait for him everyday to text him and talk to him. But he always make me disappointed. Hi Wendy, I had the same situation. After a month he asks me to be his girlfriend and everything turns crazy. I was afraid to say something cause his mood was very unbalanced, he was angry then happy and I started to depress and feel anxious because this. I broke up the relationship and he never texts me again.
I am currently dating someone for 6 months. I feel very clos to him n he also says do but everytime our marriage is to be fixed i feel he finds excuse to pick up a fight and breaks off. All signs match because he made me feel that he liked my simplicity and now he talks of otber girls. If a male colleague or friend texts me in general once in a blue moon then also he investigates so much and beats me calling me names. And if I ignore him snd try to leave him, he suddenly becomes this victim and puts all blame at me.
He drinks alot and smokes too. I am so scared that I sometimes feel like running away. Also, being emotionally silly I still love him. My ex was abusive. Of course, it got worse. I even got a black eye once. When I finally had enough, and held her down, she threaten to call the cops on me and said I abused her. The physical abuse extended towards my possessions. She broke two of my phones, did all kinds of things to my car, among other things. She was far more emotionally abusive. That was her specialty.
Only when she was mad or sad. I thought i was alone but i see alot of women were going thru the same thing. I felt like a different person being belittled abused in every way u can imagine and i got out of that relationship. It does hurt but i think i feel that way only because he brought me down to where i thought everyine hated me. Luckily i have friends n family that have always been there for me they were just waiting for me to leave but i didnt feel strong enough.
I know it will take time to mend my heart but im safe now. An abusive guy will say they r going to change but they never do. If ur in ths same situation get out as soon as possible because it only gets worst.
If i wouldve stayed i would probably be murdered by the one i thought i loved but it isnt love. I know its scary to leave but its even more scary to stay and have to watch your back every second of ur life. I was married to a woman for 24 years whom had 18 out of the 20 symptoms. Unfortunately my kids also had to go through this as well. I cant b too long. I am 48 years old, last year I met a guy we were friends and did enjoyable activities, he is also my age.
I had been single for a few years and have a grown son and teen daughter going to college next year. After we became a couple things were ok, i really liked him alot but did feel insecure of my weight and that i felt hurt he didnt act super attracted to me the way guys do when they are but at the same time he seemed to really want to be with me alot and called all the time etc.
I lost about 15 lbs and was actually feeling a little better about my apoearancr, one day wore a. I was so hurt humiliated he knows Im sensitive about that and right at that monent the sad part is i was actually feeling better, and he said i look like i could be four or five months preg, and i went home early that night just told him i didbt feel well.
They havent seen my pain or times like that but now i guess i have to decide what to do. Thank you for all the suggestions I read on this piece of abuse information. My husband is a true colour changing animal.
He behaves normal to other people ,but when he is with us as a family ,he is so aggressive and spiteful ,stalking and abusing us psychologically ,emotionally ,damaging my property and ill treating our eleven year daughter. Punching ,clapping ,and punching her between the thighs underneath. Pushing her away from me as a mother ,using vulgar language everyday ,harrasing us by shouting almost everyday. Threatening to kill us ,break all the windows..
Re enforcing to have sex with me as if nothing wrong is happening. Accusing me of adultery. I just got dumped 2 months ago by a Psycopath.. I was with her for 4 years from start to finish..
ALL the signs were there. Somehow I kept asking for her back!! She cut me off from the few friends i had and I was only allowed , in her eyes, to be in HER life. MY life was irrelevant!! I even knew what was happening.. I somehow felt guilty for everything. I went from a high paying job and no debt to leaving my job with a house I now must foreclose on that I bought for us and her kids and no friends or potential future.
She is the sickest most disgusting person I have ever met. And she beat her oldest son even bit him and I wanna report her but the abuse was a few months ago and she has everyone including law enforcement believing I am the Psycho!! I beleive the proof is in the leftovers. Who lost everything and who is out celebrating with her new Harley man?? That is the real test of who is who. I do have 2 DUIs i got since I met her so my record makes me a target as well.
I used to think she was just narcissistic but no.. If she were a man I think she would be killing people.. I wanna expose her so much.
God bless and prayers to all the other victims out there. I feel for you I am also going through a situation with similar traits…. I am at the lowest of lows…psychopaths know what to say and do to get anyone to do what they want…. Yes you are so right!! Same here… I dated a girl like this over 4 years ago. It seems like such a long time but the truth is I am still not over it.
Sometimes I look at my life and how she has completely destroyed me and I just want to cry sometimes. What hurts a lot is when I meet people who knew me before I dated her, and then they introduce themselves to me as I have become unrecognizable… when they realize who I am they quickly turn away… they cannot stand to look at me, to look me in the eyes and see what my ex has done to me. My ex was a girl capable of unspeakable cruelty and I have not been able to date since.
It has completely ruined my life. They get joy from it — and the people that you thought were your friends just run away. Everyone has secrets but to hide them when they are discovered by someone who really cares and wants to help no matter what hurts and will eventually be the death of me.
While my info is out is the open hers is disclosed with much transparency. How can life go on when it was someone you truly loved that never got the true meaning. Thanks for these comment I had to with my husband to three therapists and one psychrist he is allthese things and more i am ex miliitary as is he This decribes to the detail My boarderline dommetic violence spuose but he canbe well a the office and church he claims bad self esteem but on vacation or dinner interupts me he claims i talk at home he gets to talk at hos cgristmass party and our vactions had to stop the violence and get protection order he has major job and security clearence he plays mild and meek midwesterner but is angry and violent beyond belief made the mistake his wi ves have all left him 20s 30s 40s he can not hold a wife which he always blames for divorce.
Hehas high spending euphoria and complusively eats It is madness so had to get protection oder from court. What a sad sad world. All I can say is I hope that my baby girl grows up happy and healthy despite of this being one of her parents mental and genetic make ups. Ditto, how have you dealt with this since you have been able to put a label to it? I think I am going through the same unfortunate time as you.
Cqn we help each other perhaps? She is pure evil. At first she makes it all seem like you are the only one but johanna krisi tolonen is pure evil in every way. What is scary is that she uses her kids as a backup plan and extorting money from men. I have just recently finished with my girlfriend from day one she lied about herself some of the lies where pointless no matter how many times I tried to talk to her about it there was a complete feeling of never being liserned to and it was all my fault.
I thank you for your info and it has been so helpful,now all I need to do is stop missing him. Any words of wisdom? Im only a couple of months into my relationship and would love to fix or learn to cope with this issue but fear i dont know enough to make an educated decision.
Afterall, this is a pretty serious subject! My boyfriend has all but two signs of a psychopath. He texted bombed me freaking out thinking I was mad at him and called me 4 times.
I answered and I could tell he was drunk. He told me he was coming over the next day and hung up. The next day there was cuts on his arms. I asked him what happened and he said nothing. I knew he cut him self I had friends from school who were depressed and done it. He finally answered and said he punished his self. Because of me not answering him.
He freaks out on me all the time. I started noticing after I thought I could have been pregnant. He is so strong and makes me feel so weak. He would always push me on the bed and sit on me and do everything in his power to get what he wants. And would touch my sweet spots. He keeps telling me stories about all his ex girlfriends cheating on him and how his dad never really cared about him and that his mom hates him and is afraid of him.
Today I found out he was hanging out with his ex that he talks trash about all the time. When I confronted him he said that he only went to the mall with her we barely went to the mall because he never has money and hates it once.
He knew I was mad. But he could lie to me and hide the fact that he was hanging out with her. I could never cheat. Plus sometimes he makes me feel so stupid. I thought he was the one and I was wrong…I think it was lust and I was punished for it.
I mean sometimes he is so sweet and spoils me. Have I alarmed you in response to an army of these kinds of beasts for people? Do any of you women? They are uncivilized people. And some of them have been uncivilized their entire life as them. If what they did was a behavioral study than it is the behavioralists that do require intense psychotherapy as people.
And I am qualified to make that factual truthful statement. Normally we get along amazingly. Talk about having kids and getting married. But hardly any of his friends like me. I recently became friends with a good friend of his because I started working with her she revealed that she hated me at first because all he ever told her was bad things about me. About three weeks ago I had a stressful day at work and went to the bar after with a few work friends for a beer.
My phone died and I honestly lost track of time talking about the day with my coworkers. I had my bfs truck but assumed his good friend our roommate would pick him up. He mentioned he wanted to go out to eat lunch so i took extra time to look nice. We got in the car and I asked him what was wrong he told me that he hates when he has to wait on me all the time.
This hurt my feelings. He has some valid points. Sometimes I am a little irresponsible and take longer than I should for things. Every time we argue I acknowledge my part in the situation and try to gently express that there are some things he does that negatively affect me as well. I love him very much and both of us are new to relationships but I need to know how to work this out, how to confront him so that we can understand each other.
Im dating one rn. Im sitting in her bed rn. She just had a blowout. Shes got these dolls and said she would do something. I think it was because I didnt seem pleased enough for her because my answer to her question was just a head nod. She said thats not something u take lightly………. I just feel like im always WRONG even when I know I am right and she is a hypocrite and she has no remorse or care about my feelings or concerns.
But she just said then dont come back if u think its so bad implying shes not gonna change. Na im just kidding but im done. Hope to hear something back. Im also having a guy who is exactly doing the same thing with me. But I love him alot so that I cant leave him. I want to stay with him.
So Im bearing all the pain he gives me. Praying Lord to make him a better man and love me more. He also checking my phone all the time. Whenever rings the phone or comes a text alert sometimes he is the one who answer it or rply it like me. He has changed my facebook password and used to chat with my opposite side friends like me to see what am I in to with them. I have let him to do all these things because I know Im not wrong. Im not affraid of aything because I realy respect him and honost to him.
He is not letting me to go out alone to talk with friends and all. As well as he doesnt show to his friends, family and etc that we both are in a relationship. Infront of his collegues and family friends Im just a friend to him. Hmmm pray for me guys. I really love him. I want him so im not gonnaleave him whtaever happens. But i feel so sad about me. I guess I m going crazy fro this girl and I always try to be strong and resolve and come to some kind of solution. She manipulate and makes me feel sad and turns everything around her.
And all the traits are same. Now I will not feel Guilty of anything.. Just want to stuck with all the comments. She talks to my roommates. I stay at some other place now I should feel she needs help seriously. Thanks I just want to keep this in mind.
Please if possible email this article on my id. I married s man having each and every one of these characteristics. They are dirty, dishonest, lured, sneaky, psycho and most of all feel entitled to everything!! Yes, there are women that can definitely be abusers too.
My older brother 39 yrs old , is also involved in an abusive relationship. She belittles him, curses and yells at him constantly, has cheated on him openly, manages his wages, has left him to make him suffer because she knows he loves her unconditionally, and has isolated him from his family including parents.
So, yes, there ARE abusive women out in this world. I hope and pray, having realized you were in an abusive relationship, that you were able to put an end to it and have moved on to find happiness!
Sorry to hear a women abused you!!!! It hurts no matter who is doing to a human being or animal. But we we must pray lefting our hands to GOD thee almighty he loves us and never leave or forsake us. He will heal us, we have to seek him, he is closer then a brother.
If I would have done it to my DOG it would never survived!!! I rather kill myself thats the most horrible person to be I hate how he abused ME Bad, even wanted to crash his CAR into truck on the highway. I am with a man like this now. He has made me feel ugly. Picked me apart physically and everyone he sees. Wow, that is all I can say. My partner had every single trait you have just described.
This is eye opening. Thank You so much for posting this article. I have everything that is listed here. And I am not ashamed of it. It is in my mind like that. I am making the best of it, but it will always be there. So deal with it. No, Heiko — YOU deal with it. It is fun watching overconfident people like you get yours.
Usually, your character types provide the most satisfying meltdowns. I have heard you women describe these kinds of men all over the globe. They are psychopaths for men and women. Men wanted to hunt these men down and kill them for what they have caused me. If you as women put up with such a beast for a man or woman in your lives than it is you that is a desperate woman. Why would you put up with such scum as a man and or a woman in your lives?
They tamper with your belongings. They think they are funny as predators. They are more primitive than the average person. I do not understand. And it took me in my ignorance in regards to them 4 years to comprehend what kind of person that I have had swarming around me my entire life as them. I suppose that is why it took me 4 years to try and wrap my mind around the kind of beast for people that you have all labeled upon this page.
You have defined them clearly. What part of them reading what they are in a lesser definition of lesser beast to you do people not comprehend in regards to themselves upon me? I have had an army of psychopaths attacking and assaulting me as sexual predators for six solid years or more. They needed to be stopped. Not falsely and wrongfully empowered. My ex boyfriend is everything on this list. I feel as if I wasted four months with him.
We are just friends right now but even that makes me uncomfortable. Just be glad it was only 4 months. I married this person and had 2 kids before I realized he was always going to act this way. He definitely was a master manipulator. My boyfriend has these terrible traits.
This is not good get rid of him. Your will never be happy…believe me its going to get worst—unless u both give ur life to The Lord…They are sick and discussting animals. Even an animal will come to you and make u feel better.
There is no name for these creatures of HELL…. I was in the same situation, we are both Christians and then he quit going to Church. He is crazy and I finally told him I was leaving. He then turned it on me and called the cops because while ibwa packing I told him everything I held in for two years. Like how crazy he is and you quit taking your meds etc.
I still love him and miss him and the good times but know its for the better. I have been in counseling and we determined he has PPD paranoid personality disorder.. He thinks people are following us because he suit the people who abused him as a child and got 4 million dollars.
I walked away from a nice looking guy with a great body and lots of fun half the time for my sanity. So thank you for getting the restraining order to protect me from your crazy mind.. God Bless and find a way to get out if u can.
You must find the courage to leave ,when they are at work or out of town. Dont let them know where you are ,change your number or dont answer phone,texts, no communication. They will try to write letters and call to get back with you. These indiviuals have to seek help on their own , most dont think they are the problem.
I myself felt like I was buried alive , breathing shallow in coffin. They cunning and manipulate. The pain never ends unless you find the courage to save yourself. You can do it ,You have the power within yourself. They make you doubt yourself, second guess decisions. I know I was married to one for a long time. Now Im free and happy. An anti -social person is insensitive towards others…. Hanging out with you is like playing Russian Roulette- you never know at any given time whether u r safe or not from emotional invalidation, psychological mind games and physical posturing.
Seriously, I completely agree with Cheryl. I am divorcing one right now and am scared of the lies he will most likely say in court even though I catered to his every whim when we were married to try and keep the peace. I am much happier now though than I could have ever been with him. However, I told and tell myself that true love should not hurt and nothing I say ir do could have changed them or make things better.
One day, in the midst of being at the lowest point from rhe last relationship, I told myself I needed to fix myself and life. Boy, was that a long journey and still is. This is what I did and I pray it helps or guides you in some way:. Dropped communication with him at all costs very hard because I had impulses to call him back or respond but I simply reminded myself of all the pain he caused and how I need to put the pieces back to my life 2.
Sought therapy Mind you, I struggled to get out of bed and developed Major Depressive Disorder and just had his kid and c section, and so much more 3. Cut off all negativity of my life either it being people, situations or places that reminded me of him 4. Obtained positive mentors 5. Reached out to church more this was a huge contribution to my journey of healing!
Attended bible studies and church no matter what 7. Remembering and finding the real me 8. Reminding myself I am valuable and amazing 9. Began and still do attend weekly group therapy in a domestic violence agency Got on waiting list to have a domestic violence counselor Every day reading the bible even 10 min a day can fo wonders and remembering reciting His promises Reading more about his personality disorder and accepting he needs professional help and it eas not my fault what he did.
Although I may have missed other things I do or have done, these are the major ones that come to mind. Please know I have not had any communication with him in about 6 months and I feel and see a much more positive difference in me. My old me is coming back slowly but surely. Next time, I will listen to my gut and really take my time when dating to avoid this again.
We know the signs now!! My Ex has all the trait that you listed on here. I wrote my enormous life event of living a monster ex-husband. Took me 31 months to finally break free from him. I was destroyed by this thing that pretended to a man.
I agree I just got out of a relationship like this. It is all a head game with people like this. I just feel sorry for the next victim because that is what you become!!! I am trying to get my life back together now and I wont lie I do think about him sometimes.
But I am so glad its over!!! I really dont see how people can leave like this. I am so glad i have good friends and family. I left my husband four weeks ago. I was single and happy for 14 years, met him online and it was like we were twin souls. I feel like life is no longer an option, he gave me everything I ever wanted — I thought — but since researching Sociopaths realise he was mirroring my every thought. I am seeking help — for now I see nothing but black in my future.
I finally realised I had to leave but because I was devoted to him, There is a huge void and I am struggling to survive. The same happened to me, we had soo much in common, but all of it was just him saying what I wanted to hear — have finally seen through it, just getting out now after the 4th or 5th time trying to end it.. He has lived this way all his life and is a profesional victim creating drama and serious debt wherever he goes and blaming other people, after speaking to his freind who told me just how much money he borrows from all his friends and how is manages it I am finally done.
This time I have to be strong and try to find out who I am again as I am an empty shell after trying to help, support and advise someone who will never change-he made sure my life revolved around only him, with 24 hour contact and visiting so I only had time for him and ignored my freinds and family for 2.
Oh i have read many articles now concerning those types. My ex-partner had all of these traits.. Now just getting over it.. Because they hurt me sooo much. And can do this to someone that gave her everything.. I know now you cant fix anyone.. But it was soo hard. I was with her for 4 years..
And finally after 4 years, the truth revealed itself….
Imsges: i think im dating a psychopath
She lives about halfway across the country, so that was useful for keeping things under control. I could not understand then why he tolerated it.
I know of a few sociopaths in law or politics and the psychopath I dated is very educated. I tried to explain to her I made the decision to go there months before I even met her.
This is especially the case when accusations of sexual abuse, child abuse, and spousal abuse are i think im dating a psychopath. Comment by psychopathyawareness on May 22, 1: After awhile its like what am i doing with a man that can datingg love. I stupidly agreed to sasuke uchiha dating quiz a stay-at-home mom. Stop validating him, just be a bit sad. It was then that P began to ask to see more of me.
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