How to win a girl's heart when you're not the only one vying for it.
In some ways, it might be selfish — keep this in mind. Then, she send me a text message saying: One key aspect of quality time is a quality conversation.
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If only there was a way I could steal her back before they even date. In fact, it might be even better than ever. It never crossed my mind that she was dating someone else. But I cant do that unless I steal her back. Then you can come back later to this article for advice that is more tailored to your situation. Give yourself some time everyday to obsess over her behavior.
As your ex girlfriend falls madly in love with her new boyfriend, is it really over? Or is there still a way to win her back? When your girl breaks up with you and you're still trying to get her back, the last thing you want to find out is that your ex is now dating someone else. Your heart sinks, your mind floods with emotion.
Is it finally over? Not by a longshot. Because if you love her, and you're willing to be patient, there are ways of getting her back quickly even if your ex has a new boyfriend. Because the relationship she's currently involved in is probably nothing more than a temporary rebound. Finding out your ex is dating a new guy can be one of the most demoralizing things in the world, especially if you've been working toward winning her back.
Knowing that she's with someone else right now can make every day tough If you're not yet ready to let go of your exgirlfriend, and there's still some fight left in you, I have good news. The fact that your ex is now dating a new guy isn't as bad as you think it is. First of all, how long after your break up did she begin seeing this new boyfriend? If it wasn't all that long, you might be angry In reality though, your ex was probably feeling very vulnerable after the breakup, and clung to the first bit of attention she saw.
This means she's in a rebound relationship, and that's the best of all scenarios for you right now. Because your ex went from one relationship straight to another, she never had the time to get over you. They will also make you feel rejected and unworthy. If someone has decided to breakup with you, begging is not going to change their mind. Begging and pleading makes you look like a needy person.
And that is unattractive, very unattractive. Do you think they want to breakup because they want you to beg them to take them back? Nobody wants to be with a needy person. It comes right after begging and pleading; accepting everything while throwing your self-worth away in the trashcan aka Doormat Syndrome. You agree everything your ex wants without even considering your happiness. You put your self-worth, your happiness, your dreams and your entire life on the back burner just so you could be with your ex.
Sometimes, people do it just to hold on to the possibility of being with their ex in the future. If they do commit to you, it will probably be an unhappy, smothering or even abusive relationship. And you know what happens to a relationship where one person is a doormat? Sooner or later they all end. If you want to get your ex back and give it a real chance, please do not become doormat. You can call them, text them, facebook them, tweet them, and so much other stuff.
And this comfortable technology leads to one of the worst mistakes people make after a breakup, texting their ex all the time sometimes hundreds to thousands of texts a day. And later on at night, that person gets drunk and calls you and start saying complete and utter non-sense. What would you think of that person?
Would it make you want to start a new relationship with them? Texting your ex all the time and calling them drunk is only going to make them less attracted to you. You also need to give yourself some time without your ex. And calling and texting is not going to help anyone. Trust me; your ex knows how much you love them. They were in a relationship with you too and they probably care for you too. Your ex has decided to breakup with you for a reason and every time you express your infinite love for them, you are making them think of that reason in their mind.
So yeah, I think you should wait for a few week. If her new relationship is really that strong, then there is nothing you can do right now that will separate them and I am sure this is not the case. On the other hand, if this new guy is just a rebound which I am quite sure he is , then a few weeks is not going to matter that much.
In fact, the more time she spends with him, the more she will miss you and keep wondering about the new you.
Hi Kevin, ok I will stick to the plan and and not contact her for a little while longer. What do you think is going on in her head? Would have thought she would have text me again if she really did miss me. My gf and I broke up about 4 and half months ago. We had been dating for 4 and a half years, and knew each other a year and a half before that. We are both We were very committed to each other, absolutely love each other, and she often said I was the one and made it very clear she wanted to marry me.
I would say that we had a good relationship, but things like stress, insecurities, and immaturities caused the relationship to go downhill towards the end, and the last year was absolutely terrible.
During the final year, she moved to Japan to teach and planned to be there 3 years. This obviously caused us a lot of stress, but I visited her twice for 3 months each time. Both times were very stressful because both times we knew a breakup was likely imminent.
I was struggling with commitment issues and whether or not I wanted to be in the relationship forever. During the second visit, I finally pulled the trigger and broke up with her. This hurt her beyond repair, and branded me as an asshole by a lot of people.
In other words, we had no contact for about 2 months while she was in pain and despair. He was there for her via Skype as soon as we broke up to comfort her and see if she was okay. She has recently applied and gotten into grad school in England, where she plans to go in a year, for a year. So to recap, she has been in Japan for a year, will be for another year, then is going to England to go to grad school for a year, and England is also where her new boyfriend is.
As you can see, things seem absolutely hopeless, but after looking online she has displayed a lot of signs of a possible reconciliation one day if they ever broke up- she has asked about me a lot to our friends, came to me when she was having a nervous breakdown, seemed conflicted during the Skype session that resulted from that, things like that.
She did absolutely maintain that we were done, though, and she seems to everyone, not just me insanely incredibly happy with how things are going for her. If I had to guess, she is extremely hurt by me, still loves me, but is doing her best to move on, and is very happy being on her own and making her goals. I even made her laugh a few times. But a lot of the conversation was about the relationship, and again, she maintained that she was done, it was too late, and she is extremely happy.
The thing is, I read all this advice just now, and not at the beginning. I already did a lot of moping, love confessions, and that sort of thing. Even if your advice is to give up and move on, I just want an opinion on it.
If you happen to have that, you could read it as well. Long Distances are always tricky ones. But, I have had a few cases where things worked out even though the ex was far apart. The key here is to talk about the positive changes in your life with her. Stay on no contact for a while and then follow the rest of the plan.
How long should I stay no contact? Sorry, I just see how happy she is constantly despite being blocked on facebook and it hurts to see. Yes there is hope. Carry on with your life normally.
I found out that after our Skype she desperately tried to Skype with one of our friends being very conflicted about it. Well, just a few days ago she unblocked me I realized after a bit it was to see my posts in a group chat we were in , but I still saw her posts everywhere, which is currently too unpleasant for me, so I blocked her right back.
Depending on how she reacts to me having reverse-blocked her, she may be entirely unhappy with communication. Should I initiate contact at the end of the 15 days? Or should I just not say anything at all? If I do initiate contact, how should I go about it so it comes off as natural instead of her ex trying to get in touch with her?
One of our friends that talks to both of us equally maintains that she is -done-. While she may feel conflicted here or there, she has no interest in anything working out again whatsoever. Our friend also suggests just cutting ties completely. She knows that being friendly is too painful, especially when my ex has no interest in being anything other than platonic. Everyone tells me to just let go entirely, not talk to her at all, and just move on. Yes you need to apply the no contact rule.
You need to stop freaking out and start feeling better before you contact her. Just finding it so hard to keep hope! But I think sticking to the plan is still your best bet. What other options you have?
Going to her house and begging her to take you back? If it works, it works. You said in one of your comments that you have accepted that she is with someone else and that you two broke up. But the rest of your comments show something else. The fact is, there is fear in your mind.
Fear of losing her forever. But this fear is not going to help you at all. This fear is just going to eat up all your mental energy and leave you feeling like shit. I guess what I am saying, accept that you have a fear of losing her forever. And accept the possibility that you may lose her forever. Start thinking about what you will do if you do lose her forever. Start planning your life without her. In fact, it might be even better than ever.
You have a plan that you have decided to follow. If it works, great. Do you really think she still has feelings for me in her behaviour or is merely trying to figure me out for her own curiosity? I just feel like I keep suffering relapses. Please would really value your opinion on what would be going through her mind based on her actions and what she has said. Please Kevin, would really like to know what you think is going through her head at the minute with her reaction to my text and her coming to see me ib work however I have still not heard anymore from her so do you think she really can actually ve wondering about getting back together?
I want to know because I want to text her today to start building attraction. As I said before, she was confused and probably surprised by the thought of you moving on and being happy. Till the moment you sent that text, she was assuming that you are not over her and she can still have you whenever she wanted.
She might be thinking about getting back together. But I can say that she does respect you more than before. Thank you for your website and for helping all ouf us. Thanks to the other guys sharing their stories, some of them really moved me. I met this awesome girl this summer. We got on really well right from the beginning. On the second date though she informed me that she had a boyfriend, who was living in another country but would come to live with and for her soon.
Thus I decided to have a fun time with her but did not want anything serious out of this relationship. However from that moment on we were inseperable, we got on like two people who are meant to be with each other. Two people who are not perfecet in a long shot, but none of us had ever felt so close to antoher person in his whole life. We spent literally every second together. Time however was running out and after two great month her boyfriend came.
Her plan was to leave him she had told him about us before, and had hoped that he would leave her and make it at least hurtful for him as possible, but in the end she could not do it.
There where a couple of reasons why she could not do it, which I partly understand. Both of us however ended up being hurt — I started dating the girl she had always been jealous of for not being alone and as well for revenge. At first we were still seeing each other, but decided to stop that and continue being friends; she was very sad and crying — I consoled her; I was very sad but remained strong for the both of us.
I truly thought this was the best for us, as I want her to be happy — well I want us to be happy. I told her that I needed however at least three weeks of space and that we would see each other at christmas.
The time without her was extremly difficult, I could not belief how one could miss someone after such a brief period. I did not contact her at christmas, I wanted and needed more space. I always wondered how she was and if she got on well with her life and her boyfriend. She wrote me an E-mail in the end, saying that she really wanted to speak to me at Christmas and that she could not contact me since her phone had been stolen. She wished me all the best and stated three times that she loved me there are two words for that in our language, she used the one that can be used between friends or between lovers.
She stated that she was feeling alone and was feeling lost and confused. She said that she was always with me in her thoughts and really wanted to see me in the new year. I did not respond until yesterday, I wrote a short answer saying that I had just come from the beach and was thinking of her since I always loved travelling with her.
She has not responded yet, which does not surprise me. I think she will wait a couple of days or a week just to get back at me. I fear she got hurt, as I must have given her the impression that I was not missing her at all. But I really love her, not just in falling in love way, but as well as a brother loves a sister.
I do not wish her to get hurt more in any way. And this is my problem, on the one side I really want to be with her — we are great together. This is so difficult for I bet the three of us. What is a good and ethical way to behave in such a situation? By the way do you actually think that sharing this very post with her is a good idea? She will become resentful and the relationship will slowly deteriorate till the point of breakup.
So yeah, stealing her might save both of them some time. But I can be wrong. The conversation was very short as she appeared to be nervous and she tried acting indifferent. After 3 minutes I told her I had to go and that she has my number now again. How should I proceed? Sending her some positive messages seems to be a good idea to me, how long shall I wait? My first text I sent to her after the month of NC she replied in a couple of hours.
How long do I wait before trying another text? What if making her think I have moved on has driven her to make sure this new relationship works? What do I do now? What text did you send her? How long did you wait before contacting her. Did you ask her out recently? I think wait a week or two before sending another text. You are obviously trying to push too hard and she can feel it.
I sent this a week after she came to see me in work. I replied saying that I understood and stayed upbeat, I then had to serve another customer and when I turned back she was walking out the door without saying goodbye. What do you make of that? Anyway I sent her this text a week after this thinking we are on good terms but she has not replied.
She just got out of a 2 year relationship with you and jumped into another one right away. She never got the time to move on from you. Which means that you are still on her mind a lot. She came to see right away when you told her you accept the breakup. And she tried to make you jealous by talking about her new boyfriend. Someone who has truly moved on will not try to make their ex jealous.
Spending free time alone makes you face the pain of the breakup. She could also be one of those girls who is never single and who jumps from one relationship to another without any breaks. You know her better than me so you can make a better decision on what type of girl she is. And as for the text, the text you sent her was a boring one. It does show her that you care for her, but she already knows that.
There is no point in trying to prove to her that you care for her. Use one of the text messages in the other article. Make sure you give her something to talk about. Stop being so serious in text messages. All your texts need to have lighthearted tone. It needs to be fun. You want to condition her in such a way that whenever she sees a text from you, her face automatically lights up because she knows that your texts are fun.
Then his little brother send me an inbox wishing me Merry Christmas and he hopes to see me soon because he misses me. I was being over dramatic. At this point, I felt like I was losing her and we kinda started arguing. After a few minutes, I told her my cab just arrived and we hung up. The whole trip was eye opening and it helped me think about myslef more.
After that, everything has been great, we started texting again like we used to. Every night, we would talk about our day. I even uploaded some selfies on Instagram and she said I looked very handsome! She also told me her best friend was coming from Germany on February and it would be nice if was there. The day I came back from the trip, she wrote a sad face on her WhatsApp status. Then she asked me if I got home safe and sound.
I said I was great, then I asked her how she was, and she said she had a great day with the family. I told her I had a great trip and that I wanted to catch up this week because I wanted to tell her everything about the trip. She said she would be glad to see me again! One thing that concerns me is that her birthday is this Thursday. I was planning on meeting her at a Starbucks and just talk and act cool like James Bond.
Yesterday my ex changed her relationship status with her boyfriend from public to private. Great work Raul and great attitude towards this. AS to your question, you already seem to have a pretty good idea what to do next.
When I came back from me trip, I asked her if we can catch up that weekend, and she said sure but she postponed it at the last minute. Then I asked her another day to catch up, but she just made up an excuse. She texted me that a band I love was coming next month.
We texted for a few minutes about the band and that was it. That totally broke my heart. These past 4 days, she's been updating her Whatsapp status saying how happy she is now. I would love to think that she's been doing this just to make me jealous, but she really seems happy now. She has been 5 weeks in a rebound relationship and things only seem to get better and better with him.
This Saturday, she's gonna turn 1 month with her new boyfriend and I'm terrified about what's going to happen. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I've been concentrating on myself these past few weeks: I've been working on getting my driver's license, eating healthy, doing exercise, going to parties, I even when out on a date. But I feel like I'm losing her more everyday.
First of all, realize that losing her is not the end of the world. You are just showing her that you are available for her whenever she needs you. Last Friday, I went out to the movies with a friend who happens to be girl and somehow my ex found out about it and she texted me asking if it was true. She was pretty pissed about it, because she made me promise I would tell her first if I started dating someone new. The next day, Sunday I noticed my ex was trying to call me at 4am with a text confessing saying that she was jealous, but only beacause she cared about me and wanted me to be happy.
Then I realized she was trying to get in touch with me the day of her month-anniversary with the new guy and that all of her Whatsapp status were only to make me jealous.
So I texted her back just to tell her I how much fun I had last night. And out of the blues, she finally agreed to meet me this Friday in a nearby Starbucks. What should I say that day? Should I just keep a light conversation and tell her about my trip to Cusco? Shoud I ask her to break up with the new guy? Why did she made me promise I would tell her first if I started dating someone new? She made you promise because it gives her a false sense of control over your life.
As for when you meet her, have fun. But just be pleasant and try to have a good time with her. She will get jealous just by seeing you are doing well in your life. If she asks, be honest about your dating life.
You need to have a good time so she would want to meet you again. Here is my situation. You may think I have it made.. Me and my ex broke up about a month ago. We are still good friends. We still have sex. But that will probably end soon because she started talking to another guy after we broke up.
They arnt dating but she likes him. I think she is taking it slow with him because we jumped in our relationship. She hasnt had sex with him yet. I know its going to happen. And when it does i know Im cut off, lol.
But I want to know how to get her back. I have a good foot in the door already I think. Should i quit talking to her? I know why we broke up. Because our relationship was boring. But i have shown her that i am a exciting guy now. Not sure to keep doing what im doing and wait it out.. Or cut her off for a wile to make her miss me. Not sure if this is important but she lives very close to me.
If you are already in good terms, does she know that you are interested in getting back together? Does she know that I am interested in getting back together? Afraid I would look needy if I came out and told her. She told me last night that she really likes this guy. So she is more interested in him than me relationship wise. Thats what I need to work on. I want to show her our relationship could be ten times better than it was before, because i know what went wrong.
She told me before she is the type of girl that ends a relationship the first sign its not working out so she dont waste time. But we have had an amazing time this last week. Trying to show her that I am a fun exciting guy and our relationship deserves another chance.
But I cant do that unless I steal her back. I believe its just a matter of time before they start dating. I just need some advice on what to do in this situation.
Keep having fun with her and show her that we can have a good time together. Or apply the no contact rule to make her miss me? I want to ad when me and her first met. It didnt take but a week to hook up. Two weeks to date. She has been talking to this guy for a month and neither has happened for him. I think the reason its taking him so long is because her and me are still sexually active from time to time. I would also like to add that we basicly hang out every day right now.
And she also depends of me for rides from work time to time. Tell her how you feel before she starts dating. If you think she is attracted to you and she wants you two to work out. Spread everything out in front of her and let her make the decision.
There is a risk however that she will reject you and start the relationship anyway. In which case, you have to apply the no contact rule and try to get her back. Continue what you are doing and let them start dating.
When they start dating, follow the plan and try to get her back. This will have to include no contact and there is a chance that her new relationship will work out. However, the upside to this is that if the new guy is not up to her standards, she will start missing you. Option one seems pretty risky. Because it may ruin what I already have if she pushes me away.
I want to leave on a good note so she will miss me more when the time comes. I like option two. Would it accelerate her new relationship? I almost feel it would look to, ironic, so to say if I just stopped talking to her when they start dating. She would probably no why I stopped talking to her and it would make it look like I actually care about her new relationship and it bothers me. On the other hand If i stick around till they start dating it may give me more time to show how much fun we can have.
And then leave on even a better note. Not to mention I feel like every time we are sexual it delays her new relationship. And that might help me. Or I will just get stuck in the friend zone because she never missed me. Either way the no contact rule will come into effect eventually.
I know how important this tactic is. I want to apply it perfectly at the perfect time. If only there was a way I could steal her back before they even date. With out acting like I want her back. Make her more attracted to me before or without no contact. I feel like I need to build attraction before no contact. My ex gf and I of four years split up and I am so lost. When she left at first she said she needed time to figure things out and that she loved me and wanted me but that we coukdnt be together.
Is she just saying these things to get her space. Oh and she stayed months after me slapping her I guess she just decided to leave. She says I made her feel worthless. Both of our families love us together and are close to each other. She has been texting and snapchatting this guy she is in college with a lot but tells me he is just a friend but that he is sweet and funny and cool but when I ask her if she likes him she says idk.
How long do you think I should leave it before trying again? What are your thoughts on that. Also her new boyfriend seems to be meeting most of her family now as he seems to have most of them on Facebook. Just seeing her with someone else, someone that I went to school with really gets to me. And I never would have thought her to be the type of girl to jump into a relationship unless she was very sure about it and had strong feelings for someone. I know that because I stalk her. Let talk about this guy,this guy is my friend.
After I had broke up with my ex ,my friend started to chase her. By the mean time,my ex said to him she will not fall with him,because she said to him she giving me chance to see how much I have change.
But the asshole just backstap me,he told her that I cheated on her when we are still together. I have to confess that my ex had forgive me once but this is the second time she heard I cheated on her. I had do so much crazy shit on the first month like stalking her and trespassing to her house beg like an idiot. After that I had apply the no contact rules for two month.
After two month we met again but is not me dating her out,is my best friend call her out. But in the mean time in know that my friend almost get her,and I had do stupid things again.
I text her I love her more than anyone does and I will wait her forever,after she saw this msg the worst thing happens. She accept my friend,when I know that they already together,my emotional start to calm down. I wrote her a letter that you teach us,after she saw the letter she said that I was mature than before.
I had thinked whole day,was she really the girl I want? She is the girl I wanted,from the day after I wrote her the letter,I start apply the no contact rules again. Well, carry on with the plan. Well, stay on no contact for another three weeks and see how things are. Also, you are not really following no contact if you keep tab on her through her friend. No contact means cutting her completely from your life. That means not asking about her from her friends. I have been with my gf for more than 5 years, on and off relation because of her bad mood ,problems and asking me always to marry her while i was not ready.
Which lead me to be cold with her. Then i travelled to another country and we broke up there but she kept on talking to me Using wats app. It worth mentioning that i was thefirst love in her life emotionally and physically. She kept on talking with me using watsapp afraid from being involved in other relations while i was rejecting her all the time.
Then after 1 year i was jobless so i returned back to my country met with her and told her i want us to do something together but since i am jobless we agreed to keep the relation like it is. Then i retravelled and while i was out of the country , she stopped watsaaping me. So i returned back to my country on first of august,she saw me like always , had dinner and we flirted she did not let me make live with her saying that she is on her period and i noticed like there are no feelings anymore and she was like comparing me to another person.
So i travelled back , we kept on talking on watsapp where i always initiAted the conversation which lead to a big fight on august 12 and i blocked her to see if she was gonna talk to me after that so on august 18 i unblocked her and told her that i am coming back to buy a house and start a new job. So she responded that i must forget about her, i am wasting my time with her, go and marry some1 else while i did not ask her to marry me, and that she does not need anyone in her life, she wants to have fun and live without anyone asking her anything and she wants me to talk with her like friends that was on august In all the ways, i returned back to lebanon on august 20 and i applied the no contact rule since then.
You are obsessing too much over her. When do you think I should next text her and do you think that text about the restaurant is a good one? That seems to me like she found someone what she needed to find out when she saw me and now has no more interest in having anything to do with me.
So me and my gf broke up a bit before Christmas and I made the mistake of talking to her for a bit after the breakup trying to get her back k and stuff. I then let her be alone for two weeks and started talking again just recently I found out she has a new bf and started dating him four days after the breakup and I kinda lost it on her.
The next day I started talking to her and apologized. Were on talking terms now and we ended up talking about our sex life and she commented on it being very good. She also said that she was noticing changes in me that were good. Should I cancel the plans and have no contact for awhile? It depends on how you are feeling. I forgot to mention the guy she is currently dating and her have been texting each other a lot since September and right after we broke up four days later she dated him.
From what she told me before, it sounded like it was him that was chasing her at the start whereas at the start of our relationship she chased me. Not that that probably makes any difference now. Makes our whole relationship seem meaningless if she can drop it so easily. I just want to tell her how glad I am that she has been a part of my life. What do I do next based on what has happened?
Is there still hope or has she gone for good? And the idea of her coming back to me, actually leaving her new boyfriend to come back to me seems so unlikely it feels almost foolish to keep hope. How am I ever going to get a reply off of her if they are with each other all the time?! Do I text her today saying that I went to this place on a day trip?
Went to a lot of places that reminded me of her or is it too soon since I sent the last one?
Imsges: how to win a girl who is dating someone else
How long should I stay no contact? What do you make of it all kevin?
If you're not yet ready to let go of your exgirlfriend, and there's still some fight left in you, I have good news. What you are experiencing is just one of the symptoms of breakup.
I acted like fool these last months. The next day I started talking to her and apologized. But this fear datimg not going to help you at all. Obviously when someone blocks your number you dont receive their texts or phone calls. You will have to ask her to choose between you and him. Well, apply no contact and go on a few dates.