5 Signs You’re Not The Only One She’s Sleeping With
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I am older than I've ever been, fatter than I've ever been, and also having the best sex I've ever had in my life. Honestly it's not like you haven't seen one before, and it's not gonna jump off the screen and bite you lol. See the new paper by Dr. I am quite sure I will learn plenty of new stuff right here! The first two months were fine on the valtrex, besides the interaction the drug had with alcohol which turned my neck, face, and arms red periodically.
Is it because of these two factors that I am having recurring breakouts? Hello I have just found out I have it and I had my first breakout 3 days ago. Was your first like this and your next outbreaks were only bumps? It gets better over time. Your body will start to build up anti-bodies that fight against it and your outbreaks will come less and less.
Try the generic brand of Valtrex which is Acyclovir or talk to your doctor about your dosage amount and frequency that you take it, maybe you need to take a low dosage through out the day instead of a high dosage once or twice a day.
You may need to drink less or change what you drink. Unfortunately the first year of this is the hardest part because you have to learn how to handle your body with the disease…but it gets easier.
Excersis can case an outbreak because herpes can lie in your fat cells. I was a lift operator this last winter and I would experiance frequent outbreaks from the physically demanding job of shoveling snow and doing lift maintenance. So it may have something to do with that. Hello, I am 24 years old, I have had this disease for 10 years now. It was forced upon me but anyway, I keep reading that the 1st breakout is horrible and they get better and better. I am currently having a breakout and have been for 1 month now even on the meds.
This is the worst one I have ever had. Lost of big lesions that are VERY itchy and painful. The pain is not so bad after I started the meds. But I find myself going to the bathroom to scratch it a lot because I cant stand it. I have a job where I am sitting on the phone all day so it is very difficult.
I am also a mother of three and very busy. I was drinking quite a bit for a week as well and after I stopped that is when it started. So my question is this, Is it me scratching it all the time that is causing it to stay longer? What can I do differently to get this to go away?
I am desperate right now to get rid of this. If anyone has any good advise please respond, thank and good luck to all of you dealing with this. I have only had 2 outbreaks as I was only diagnosed 2 months ago, but itching does make it worse. My first outbreak was sooo awful. I noticed this with the first outbreak. I have also read a lot of places that itching makes it worse. Just my thoughts, good luck! Try soaking in a bathtub full of warm salt water I have had this disease for the past 17 years and when I could not afford my medications regularly, I would use iodized salt.
I will usually use two or three containers of salt per soaking and I will usually soak at least twice a day. Hey everyone this may help.. Just had my first outbreak-but I am a herbalist and health food nut. It was very mild and I think this is why. When I found out what I was dealing with I made a salve from Shea butter, coconut oil, tea tree oil, and bee propolis extract all pure organic non GMO to apply directly to the 2 lesions I had.
You can also take herbal supplements orally that will prevent and lessen outbreaks by strengthening your immune system as well, I take echinacea, goldenseal, astragalus root, and bee propolis as well as homeopathic sulphur orally. This in addition to a 10 day regimen of valtrex and ointment prescribed by my dr. Just remember that not all herbs and supplements are created equal try to make sure u buy from a reputable place.
I have HSV-2 for 3 years now. Dry up the area with a blowdryer and then put the baby powder the one that has cornstarch in the area. You will feel relief for a few hours, fresh and clean. There are baby powders that has hint of mint that is a plus. Keep in mind than maintaining the area clean and dry will help you fell more comfortable. Do not use tight underwear or pads cause it scratch it and it will feel very painful. And try if you have the privacy in your own to sleep with no underwear and legs wide open.
These has really help. And to make things worse I got my period too! Would wearing the pad be prolonging the sores? Freeze bottled waters and keep a frozen bottle between your legs.
Rotating them as they melt. It decreases swelling and pain and the itching also. Do not apply directly to site. Have pantie or shorts or something in between. You know what you can tolerate. But I am currently going through the worst pain I have ever experienced. I am however confused. Does this mean this is my first proper outbreak as it is so painful and I have bad sores that are obvious to see?
I cant do anything, all I do is lay in bed and hope the pain goes away. I was started on acyclovir a day ago but I am afraid the pain wont go away. I am a college student and I am falling behind in my classes and my other extracurricular activities.
I also seem to have it in my throat so I cant eat and I hate drinking anything since it is so painful to urinate.
I just really dont know what I need to do for the pain. And I fear I will have to be hospitalized because I dont eat or drink much. Does anyone have any advice? It will dictate the course of what you will become, what you do and what you stand for, all through your existence. I clearly recall having got this virus as a very small child through abuse by a neighbor who died before he was 20, thank god..
No answers from Him yet, my friend. I know it sounds crazy to ask a young person to do these things — but always stay alert to signs and symptoms Prior to a full-blown episode so that if possible you can prevent them from happening — that is your best cure, really. So there is Life post herpes. My advice is to just dig deep and face this virus with as much equanimity and balance you can muster.
Bhatia is making this into a much bigger deal than it is. All in all, the common cold causes me more grief than herpes.
Plenty of athletes have herpes. My god, have you heard of all the sex that happens at the Olympic village? Be honest with your partners, be as safe as you can be. I will agree with Bhatia that you should avoid too much alcohol, stress, etc. Your comment helped a lot. The guy I was with didnt tell me until after I was diagnosed that he had a cold sore on his mouth before he went down south.
Luckily, my doctor gave me antivirals, antibiotics, and Percoset. It started with one bump and then grew like wild fire. The shower helps a lot but im going to try tea tree oil as well. I had a really bad outbreak when I was diagnosed with genital herpes. No need for shame. Sorry you had such a bad first outbreak.
Sounds very traumatic; I hope you got help. Ended up having to get a catheter and a prescription for oxycodone. Still remember that as the worst 3 weeks of my life. Anyone in this type of situation, I recommend getting medical attention especially when you start choosing dehydration over peeing. And it does get a lot better. Suppressive medication helps a lot, as does taking good care of yourself.
The main thing there is getting a good amount of sleep if you can. And smoking cigarettes is rough on the immune system, so stay away from those. Good luck to everyone. PS — I medaled in Beijing in When his eyes got big I knew right then that my ex had given me something. The pain is so bad that I cry when I move. Now its starting to itch to an extreme. Its just all very unbearable. I feel so bad. They are a urinary alkaliser so they stop your pee from burning when it touches the wounds.
I also keep a bowl of salt water with some gauze next to the toilet to use as a wash and I use the gauze to pour water on to the area while I pee as well! You might have a Planned Parenthood in your state or near you? They will help you, with or without insurance!
If no bathtubs are near you, a warm shower of 10 so minutes helps. Hand washing yourself down there works for a quick pinch. If you must eat meat or shellfish, please make sure it is from a sustainable clean organic source. Supplements are fine but after a time, your body grows tolerant of the dosage. True, hsv2 is not stress less… But positivity fosters positivity and negativity festers negativity. Consider Ayurvedic herbs that promote antiviral properties. Tree tea oil is antiseptic and despite what you think, does not burn and works well!
I use warm baths or long warm showers, take collodial silver and oil of oregano, and eat clean. When I eat dirty meat, gmo foods , I feel an outbreak tingly happening and if I ignore it and continue to eat terribly, a full on OB occurs.
Hello, I am a 21 year old girl with HSV2 I found out when I had my first outbreak at 19 years old and it was the worst feeling I have ever experienced in my life.
Even though the bumps were so small, barley visible besides one, when I first got tested I was put on acyclovir, I was still so very much in denial thinking this could not possibly be true I took it and shortly after my bumps healed never have they scabbed and I told myself that I did not have this disease and that the doctor was wrong, fearing the changes my body was going through. I was extremely scared and still am but a few days ago I felt discomfort in my area, so now I have comprehended that this is real.
Anyone have any advice for me? And alone with this…Good luck to you all. Wash your hands often too. Friday I had a very sore vagina and by Saturday evening I had loads of little lumps, it was painful to walk, sit.. I know the feeling. That was my first OB. Despite the pain, you must drink water so that you are not dehydrated!
Drinking a lot of water will also HeLP the pain as you are not putting a lot of strain on your body in the process. Within 5 days or so, though I would say 3, you will be feeling like a champ once you take your first round of antivirals. I first had an outbreak 15 years ago. I had recurrent out breaks the 1st 2 yrs. It was embarrassing and awful.
Then the frequency continued to diminish. Alcohol and sugar make it dramatically worse!!!! Not to fear, and I stay away from meds after the 1st couple yrs. Any antibiotic or med will lower your immunity. I got it about 5 yrs ago and just had my second outbreak. I was an emotional mess when i first got it lol…. The first OB happened 3 days after we made love for the first time.
I thought it was a yeast infection! I used to get cuts on my minor labia and that always ended up being a yeast related infection.
So, this should have been no exception, except in that little white hard painful bumps accompanied along my vagina. I had what looked like diaper rash on my buttocks. I went to PP and they gave me antivirals, along with 2 more rounds for the next time.
I remember what it was like. I had a lot of difficulty peeing, but maintained a high Vit C low protein Diet during that time. The next couple of outbreaks would happen a month and two over. I could feel the tingly ness and my neurotic self would take over. I would take the antivirals they are used to reduce the number of viri inside and all would be fine. I have had 3 minor ones since. And now am having my second major OB. I have not been eating well or as clean as I should be and that is my downfall.
My current OB makes it painful for me to pass stool and I still have diaper itchy rash. However, my anus currently is less swollen, less painful, and durable. My treatment has been warm baths and long showers, collodial silver, oil of oregano, coconut oil both topical and ingested , and cannabis I have a medical card for lupus and has found that it numbs the hsv pain. I was recently diagnosed with hsv1 genitally.
I wonder if the test is wrong and maybe its something else if its correct how long before the itching goes away. It made me miss work and school.
What can I do to stop OBs as much? I am not experiencing the pain that everyone else seems to be experiencing. When I was a child I had gotten oral herpes, so my question is: They usually only amount to tingling sensations and sometimes very mild itching or none. My question is how long after I treat it with acyclovir ointment am I contagious? How do we know when we are safe again? About a week ago I noticed some purple ish small lesion on the tip with one small white red looking lump.
However so far none of them have discharged anything or blistered over. Does this sound like herpes anyone? Although it is nice to hear about life after an std. She recently got in touch with me again after 10 years to catch up and see how I was doing. If it weren't for the fact that her life has advanced much more than mine, it would have been no trouble for us to get back together.
I'm not getting anywhere involved with her again except on a friendship basis. Her husband is providing her with the life I wanted to, and she has the family life that we could have had. And I refuse to be involved romantically at all. The time has passed, and the clock cannot be turned back. It's been hard as hell trying to find that kind of loving and understanding relationship again. I'm not expecting the same exact thing as what I had My recent experiences on the dating website I use has been pretty pathetic.
I received one direct response from what appears to have been a scammer, as their profile has been removed within a day of being put up. I've only gotten 2 smiles one from the scammer. The one reply I received from a woman I wrote, apparently she was looking for sexual relationship only. I didn't entertain that idea any further and informed her of a site she could use to satisfy her needs if she wasn't looking for natural dating.
Another woman responded to a message I initiated and while this one seemed normal I'm worried that I as a man looking for a real relationship that results in marriage, I will end dying childless. My mother hasn't been much help as she believes that for some reason I should be able to have children when I'm I calculated my life expectancy and I told her I needed to at least no later than my early 40s as there would be another 20 years to raise a child into reasonable adulthood and not be so old when and if there may be grandchildren I'll still be able to function.
No response is equal to "maybe she didn't read it or get to see it" in guy logic. Men do have more competition than women. I want to ask women Or even better yet. I've sent 39 messages in the past 3 weeks alone and only got 2 legitimate responses.
I have been on on line dating for just over a year. Unfortunately no luck so far. I have met a couple of scammers and thankfully caught on before investing too much time. I am a bit older 53 very secure and confident. I consider myself a decent, good looking woman who is fit with just a few extra pounds. In the past year I have sent messages at least men and gotten 0 responses back.
I have received a lot of messages asking to " hook up" etc I have been ghosted by 3 of them when I thought the conversations were going well I have learned to listen to those little red flags that 20 years ago I would have ignored. Yes I have had the messages straight up about sex but I just ignore those I get interests from guys that live thousands of miles away even though I clearly state I am not interested in a long distance relationship.
The guys I message are ones who's profiles interest me and who I see some common interests. But as I said before, I rarely get an answer. It leaves me wondering just what are they looking for and perhaps I am just not "hot" enough for them. That's ok, I am still happy, still me, still single, just a bit perplexed but I have not given up. I was on the dating site OkCupid. I met this Australian man who profile name was Ayapi. He was asking for sex in two minutes of talking to me.
He also was on Plenty Of Fish. He have a sex website online with a lot of nude women. He was trying to get me to take nude pictures and videos. I met other scammers on OkCupid as well.
One went to jail for scamming people out of money. They don't care who use their site. It's a danger for the women and for some men. Online dating has NEVER worked for me, even when I was serious about it I was meeting the guys who were serial daters and not looking for a relationship or con artist or scammers who were looking to mooch off of a women and then of course the perverted guys that were looking to hook up, they made it known immediately what they wanted to do with you sexually.
It sucked to me. I'm happy for the people who go on to find real relationships from these sites, I've had zero luck. I'm not surprised at your results.
The men weren't feisty with your profile because it's not what they are lusting after. Men are only angry at profiles of the trophy girls who respond with iciness, insults or silence.
She must be thin, usually blonde with light eyes, primarily Caucasian. Use that profile pic and you'll see the firestorm of interest. With the chick you used the men will only be nice because they're not ego invested in her at all. Also you didn't turn any of the men down to get a response.
So you didn't give them a reason to invest in you. Just wait until you turn guys down as a blonde. That's when you better put up your photon force fields. All those blogs you read of women being confronted with nasty emails are basically white chicks bragging that they are the coveted princesses in this country. They have a litany of suitors after them who see them as dating status symbols and they set up blogs basically to complain to the world that the population of men isn't picture perfect like in a Maxim magazine.
The white chicks are so used to the endless attention they make a sport of rejecting these guys or luring the guys on with empty promises for fun. It's this random chaos and disrespect the men deal with when pursuing their dream girls that is the source of all online vitriol. So when the girls turn these guys down they get revenge emails like balls of fire. Your chick is just a boring safe brunette so who cares what she does? The chick you put up isn't anyone's idea of a girlfriend, more like a one night stand.
That's why you got no controversy from her. I've only used okcupid. A woman, 29 years old, been on for 6 months. My experience is not very pleasant as well. I find it strange, that so many men here say, that they are looking for a relationship. Yes, its true, that most women get lots of attention, but that doesn't mean anything.
All girls that i know, want to find an actual boyfriend, and hopefully, eventually, someone to move in with, get married, have kids etc. But the vast majority of the guys just want to "chill and netflix". Sometimes, i feel like women are a bit more honest. If we don't respond, we are not interted - that's it.
Sorry, we can't be interested in every single person that messages us. Sometimes, there might be nothing wrong with you, but we all have our types and dealbreakers. I keep finding guys who seem interested in me, but whenever things get too serious for their liking, they run away like crazy. I'd rarher be ignored, than led on till i start developing feelings just to have my heart broken.
I'm not even talking about numerous people asking if i want to come to their place tonight or if i want to be their slave or want them to be my slave or if i'm into oral sex right of the bat. I'd rather see that and just block them, than meeting someone who seems nice and genuine, and then to find out they are just players, use me or just not ready for a relationship.
I haven't had chemistry with most of the people I met, so we never went on the 2nd date. But here are 3 guys, that i thought we were getting somewhere with, and they all left me heartbroken:.
The first guy i met was ok. I was recently out of a 5 year relationship, he was out of a long relationship too. We had too many drinks and ended up having sex pretty fast. I thought he'd think i'm way too easy and will never talk to me again.
Instead, we started seeing each other regularly. I wasn't that much into him, but i was still not recovered from my past relationship and, i guess, wanted to have someone there for me.
He was in a similar position, so it all seemed to be working well. Eventually, he started treating me better and better. We never talked about being exclusive, defining our relationship, yet we'd spend lots of time together, we'd go out, hold hands, kiss and make out in public with no problem, he was making me dinners, help with manly stuff around the house etc. So i have slowly started falling for him. I even made a house party once, and invited him, and he came and met all of my friends.
It lasted for about a month. One day i was driving, and saw him walking and holding hands with another girl and we live in a big city and not in the same area. What are the chances? I confronted him about it later, and he said how he never said he wanted a relationship, he is just out of one, and he enjoys his time with me, but he is not ready for a new one and wants to see what's out there. I didn't like the 2nd guy i met right away. He wasn't physically attractive to me, but he was really funny and interesting to talk to.
I would have loved him to be my friend if we haven't met on the dating website. He kept asking me out. I decided to go out with him a few more times, just because he was fun to be around, but never felt any chemistry. Even felt bad for leading him on, but kept seeing other guys. He started pursing me like crazy, he was very very nice to me, so eventually i have started liking him.
I have enjoyed being treated like a princess and thought to myself "wow, this guy is really nice and is really into me, who else would treat me like that? And i decided to give it a chance and started developing feelings too. After 2 months, we were hanging out one evening, and he started going on and on about how he can't believe that he met someone so amazing online, how he did't expect this to happen, how he is sick of online dating and doesn't wanna see anyone else. So we talked and decided to make it serious and delete our profiles in front of each other.
So all was great, no problems, fights or other issues. Again, why start and waste 2 months of my life? The last guy, was actually the first one i have liked instantly. I wasn't expecting that, but i really liked him the moment i met him.
He seemed interested too. He complained to me about online dating from male point of view, how most of the women he met are boring. He is highly educated and is very picky about intelligence of women he dates, and he said he was amazed by me, because he felt it was so easy to talk to me right away, i'm smart and attractive. He was asking me out every days which was unusual and it told me he is really into me. He was also very nice to me and we could talk forever.
He has to wake up early for work, but we were still talking and making out till late when we saw each other. After 3 weeks, i had crazy feelings for him, and he seemed to have too. He canceled one of the dates for seemingly legit reason. I was cool about it, and told him that its ok, and we can see each other some other time. After that, he became very distant.
Disappeared for a few days, then messaged again apologizing telling me about the problems he had. Then he would just randomly message me every few days, but never offered to go out again. And eventually just stopped messaging me. I think men and women gave different problems with online dating, but we ha e it equally hard. Guys don't get responses, women find players. I completely agree with what a lot of men are saying.
I was married 30 years only to be violently attacked by an alcoholic wife. I set myself out there and the women just play games. They say stupid things and just look for attention. I'm seriously disappointed in what appears to be the feminist movement in this country.
They try to use their sexual prowess instead of their intelligence, which most are seriously lacking, and again, play games. They are not serious and don't care about a good relationship. I'm sure it's true there are a lot of men jerks but we are all stereotyped that way. Please be ladies OK? Have some respect for the opposite sex and if you're not serious just stay the heck away all right? There are good men like me out there.
And you ladies that look so good in your photographs are just absolutely narcissistic and hideous with the way you speak to us. Please get over yourselves and take your meaningless time wasting profiles down and go gaggle in the mirror at yourself.
It's really too bad. I have been giving this a good shot for months and actually have made a few good friends but have run into so many Queen bees that I am ready to give up. It is really is a waste of money and time.
Every review that I read about online dating is a bad one. The whole industry is sickening; praying on the people that yearn to love and be happy only to let them down. In one state in Australia where I live I've found it even more difficult to meet a good, down-to-earth woman online.
I don't put women on pedestal, had my fair share of relatioships but I"m also shy and busy so i'd really like to see some online dating work. I'm in no rush, but why can't I just find a healthy smart woman who is NOT self-obsessed, for some good online conversation?? At least most guys get some kind of comment. I was on four different popular sites in the last few years I got only a wink or very short text and just one. Met only one woman at a car show for two hours then she got a call and had to get going.
I'm real shy too but I feel I sent out some really good icebreaker messages, I put a lot of thought into them, to always sound upbeat and funny. But never got any comment, not even a thanks but no thanks, seems like they don't even get them, but the scammers sure answer quick with a too good to be true letter and great pictures.
I was married for fourteen years and divorced for eleven. Was her idea for the split, shes remarried a few years I can't even get a date yet.
Think she put a curse on me lol. Can't believe so many people jump in bed on the first date, both sexes. It's that kind of life style that hurts so many people,that nobody trust anybody anymore and I can't say that I blame them.
Which I've never done before, maybe this will work, who ever reads this might know of somebody through the grape vine. I know there's good ones out there I just read some of there letters here. There's too many bad ones out there in the way of us good one's. I Know this is a little off the wall but I'll give it a shot. If there's any good one's out there please I'd love to meet you. I'm trying something different, by, bypassing all the dating services. Because, really from the comments I've read about all these dating sites.
There's a lot of unhappy people out there, wish they'd quit playing games and say what they really think, that's what I try to do.
The same pigs have shown up on all of the dating apps I have used. I originally started with plenty of fish, where I met two very good long-term friends, but no romantic chemistry. The majority of the other users were soliciting inappropriate photos and sending them as well. A few mentally unstable messages followed rejections.
There are just as many people looking for hook ups on match. Disappointing as to what society has become. I don't agree entirely with this article.. I use dating sites and am smart using them, as a result I don't get harassed. If the woman is smart and secure of herself instead of making it easy for the man it would make dating for a female easier. A lot of women are Insecure of themselves and a man can sense that, if I get a sexualized message instead of being afraid I just message back and say"you're disgusting best of luck.
Just saying an insecure woman who acts fearful is more bound to be harassed on these sites. I've also met and dated plenty of men from free dating sites that are seeking a commitment, don't assume ALL men only want a hookup that's not at all true. More so want Casual stuff but if you spend enough time online you'll meet decent men that want a relationship. I had 2 boyfriends come from OkCupid, there are good ones online too. Don't make yourself vulnerable and easy for the men!
Nail very much hit on the head. Online dating for girls that are decent and offline for that matter requires work and a combination of common sense, good judgement and patience. Same thing for decent guys going online - it requires work and there are guides out there that go a bit further than the generic "read her profile" advice given here if guys looked hard enough for them and that easily help them stand out. I think the problem is these days people are more desperate than ever for a quick fix and dismiss new ideas if they don't see sparks flying first go.
I saw similar things in college where most my friends got brutally negative, generic and uninformed advice particularly if parents had no clue about their field if they hadn't gotten a job within 1 week of graduation. You cant seriously sitt there and say honestly that women have dating harder than men. I mean seriously, is that honestly what you think? You watch as your sanity melts away from the slow burning tourture of loanliness, you would go mad, anyone would.
It amazes me how selfish women are, it really does, id love to give you all my pain just for one day sso you would understand the utter hopless misery that men have to face! I hate this life i just want to die. I just cant beleive any woman would sit there and say she has it harder than men. You have no idea what decades of blanket rejections and loanliness would do to you, it would kill you, its true hell. Yeah obviously easier for women. Men have to work hard even to get validation from girls while women have men blowing up their phones boosting their ego by chasing them.
Guys be happy with even unwanted attention from opposite sex. Women can't make up their minds because of all their o ptions.
While men don't have nearly the same amount of options or experience. They can get attention and sex easily while guy gets neither easily cuz he has to compete for it. Competing, chasing and getting rejected can be so discouraging that you question if it's worth it if girls are so narcissistic and dismissive to guys' advances. Women never deal with rejection the way guys do.
They never put themselves in that position and so they are constantly avoiding rejection and receiving positive attention from guys chasing them. Why sex so "creepy? Means guy attracted to you. Take it as a compliment. Why society berate the guy for being a man?! You put up a pic, put little work into your profile, and yet expect so much from the guys who contact you?
You even admit you receive nice messages, but refuse to even acknowledge such guys? Not even a simple thank you back? What does that say about you?? Congrats on the ego stroke, but I'm not taking the bait. Lot of guys of looking for someone to actually date, and you aren't that person. Your advice simply does not apply. Lots of good n bad on it. As soon as i read your name i knew you were an Aussie, i agree with your sentiments regarding dating sites, they're about as barren as some pubs are these days I was recently scammed on Match.
There have been class action suits against Match for portraying themselves with 15 million users when only a million are paid subscribers and the rest contain a lot of scam artists looking to relieve you of your cash.
The whole site is a scam in the sense they want to auto renew your subscription which is hard to stop once you sign up. I wonder if any of the people on the site are real at all!
It is and some are, had a bunch of dates on there before I met my girlfriend who we now live together and have a beautiful baby boy with Where as in the real world it is harder for men to key in on victims. You just have to be more careful use an extra screening process and not take things so personal knowing it is a numbes game and nothing that is exceptional should be expected or necessarily easy to obtain Just like life if you want something special sometimes it takes hard work!
I think I'm being scammed. I put a report with the fbi a month ago. I'm waiting for them to respond. I'm keeping him on the hook until I hear from the agency. So they can take over and catch him. I've been asked for money. His company name I have researched. It's a generic website and the addresses I looked up for his offices show no record of his company ever being there.
Lease records and such. He has an Enflick voip number, but his last picture looks like a location of what he's stated. I can't find evidence his pictures are reposts of someone else. How do I proceed safely until the authorities arrive?
I am a good looking guy not a model will not say that not arrogant but 5'10 and pounds. Last time l was online dating was about 10 years ago meet my ex wife and the mom of our daughter through lavalife. This time I find pof a total waste of time I am a gold member but our of couple of dozens ladies I contacted 1 only replied back and she told me you are a really nice man and wish you best of luck but just started to date a man. I am only 40, leave in greater Vancouver, bc have a good job and rent a 2 bedroom place on my own plus drive a suv.
It seems maybe wrong that the idiot men have flooded the ladies to Mt he point they tune out even great men or that many sadly l suspect accounts on pof now are fake. Either way l am at the point of giving up and l am sure l was not the first or last normal nice man to reach this point due to no ladies replying back at all. Dont give up fella, just work harder and lower expectations of how quickly results should come I've been doing online dating for only a few months seriously.
Anyway, what I am seeing is a growing disconnect and a lot of people getting disgruntled. I have to admit I was too in the beginning.
I think it is because one develops expectations based on statistics instead of reality. I thought, at first, "wow, so many women to see who I really am"! Statistically speaking, I should get a few responses.
So I start examining the numbers game and thought I could play a little with it. I want to be strategic about this, right? I try to throw in a little humor if I can, but my first message, if there is something in her profile, ALWAYS contains at least one if not a few references to hers.
I write in complete sentences and try to seek ways to spark a conversation. I make no lewd comments whatsoever. I don't even reference anything about looks except once and that was a weak moment on my part since she her picture affected me that way, plus it was an experiment to see if venturing there yielded anything different. I also try to not be unrealistic as far as types of women I try to engage. I am 52, 6' 2", a little under lbs, no paunch, somewhat athletic and active, and I feel I am decent looking but have no idea how to quantify that.
After reading about how to write a profile, I feel I've written a strategically thorough yet somewhat concise one. I will say that overall, I am an eclectic type that's hard to describe very thoroughly: I am personally open to a wide variety of situations, but I feel most women want some kind of commitment.
I don't game because I haven't dated in almost thirty years. I had been married for about 27 years and now divorced for a year. So I am not even sure what this "game" they keep talking about really is, although I have an idea. Whatever it is, I would certainly abide by the wishes and expectations of whomever I want to see and date.
What are you doing? If I try to go deeper at all, they either disappear or keep repeating themselves probably catfishers since other things about their profiles make their seeking me unrealistic.
Then, I have had a couple go a few sentences longer, but almost all have ended. Unfortunately, one had a legitimate mental disorder from traumatic brain injury. I tried to make this one work, but we just could never connect. One other one is so far away, I am still seeing where it goes.
But so far, at best we'll be friends and no dates unless I travel over miles to another country. I've sent dozens of messages not hundreds yet , along with "winks" do these even work? I am paid on POF so I can see where a ton aren't read. A few read, some read then deleted and some deleted outright. I respect the deleted ones, so I don't even bother. A few of those were probably out of my league anyway I was too old, or they were way more active or maybe interests didn't match.
I had hoped that I would have gotten a little more response out of the others, especially ones who were mutual "meet me" that POF has. But even that didn't garner a response. So then I don't know if sending more messages is expected, tacky, pestering, or what.
I feel like I need to based on what some women seem to be saying because mine are probably getting lost in the shuffle and I need to work at keeping myself visible. So, in my disappointment, I have been researching what is really going on.
I've found many posts like this about what women "deal with". And I find it interesting how they have the opposite challenge most of the time.
And I was honestly surprised at how jaded they get, but I don't blame them because of all these goofball, creepy, lewd, stalker responses they get. Now I see a dilemma. The nice guys, of which I consider myself right at the center of not so nice that I would be boring, but definitely nice enough to be respectful of a woman and her boundaries and that no means no , can't get responses let alone dates.
The nice women seem to get nothing but tons of messages to try to wade through. Who knows where all the drain and noise is coming from, though we know the sources such as scammers, desperate loser types, stalkers, catfishers, etc. And there doesn't seem to be too much that can be done about limiting that.
However, if we are aware of it, we can do things to try to counter it. It also seems that we need to become more strategic and not so bitter about how to approach all of this. I see where a bridge needs to be built here somehow. Maybe the nice guys need to be recognized more somehow by getting in kind responses from women.
If you get a nice initial message, at least say no thank you and even a brief idea of how good the message was. Us guys get no clue whether we are sending out the right message or not. It would even be nice to get some kind of rating system going like eBay or something. This weird limbo of never knowing if it was the message, the profile, the pictures or if who we messaged is overwhelmed is really tough to deal with.
It would also be nice to have women realize that if they are getting decent if not outright nice messages more than once from a guy, that these guys are just trying to stay on top of the crap that that woman is otherwise getting; that they aren't stalking or pestering, they are just wondering if they are getting heard at all.
I don't know what to do about the jerks. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. And about the only thing I can see nice guys who really want this to work bringing to the table is to just not get bitter and disappointed. I don't know, it is really hard to see how to break this cycle that is destroying online dating for the majority of us.
It would be helpful to know that possibly a new kind etiquette be understood by women that repeat messages that are nice should be acceptable and that we men kindly engage them with these; that we get a chance to overcome the idiots by countering them somehow.
Also, maybe people could work up some kind of meta-dating situation something like responding to websites about online dating or, as I said above, some kind of rating system? For me, online dating is about my only hope of meeting anyone. I am not religious nor do I drink, even coffee it puts me to sleep. I have food allergies and sensitivities. I work online from home. As a result, I don't go to any place of worship, I don't club or do bars, I can't eat at any restaurants, and I don't have a work environment with other people.
I actually have very few friends despite my best efforts. I keep running across so many people with involved lives of which I am just not a part including my family. So, online is the only place I can even think about meeting people. I go for walks in the park, to the library, and around downtown. What also challenges me is that I am fairly introverted. On top of all this being much older, I have not the foggiest idea on how to hit up a conversation with a woman I've never met before.
I didn't when I was twenty I met my former wife through very unusual circumstances involving an acquaintance and what little dating I did then I did all though people I knew. How am I going to do it at over fifty and not seem weird? Another approach I am trying is to get involved with community events and groups. But once again, very few, if any women attend what I tend to go to, let alone any who are in my age group and meet other modest criteria, none having to do with "looks".
For instance, I go to a drum circle the only one within 30 miles of me. Of available women who show up a few unavailable do , it is pretty much just one in her 80s along with over twenty guys. Women tend to do things like Zumba, dance, yoga or other exercise classes where if I showed up, it would be creepy since it will be assumed I am there for only one reason. I would love it if I would be accepted as a drummer for belly or tribal dance, but alas, the same creep factor seems to be at play.
Well, I could probably say more, but I hope to start a conversation about what can really be done about this issue and not just complaining about it. I would really like to overcome the disconnect with what is happening between guys and gals and to renew proper expectations.
Otherwise, it will become one of the biggest fails of our technological communications age. David, what an extremely sensitive and impressive person you are, they are very pwrceptive observations would have been nice to write you up as a friend Do you ever submit correspondence on quora..?
Upload your photo's and fill your profile. Look for the bad ones and write a blog post. Start looking for men. Initiate the conversation with the man, and let him rate you as you like to rate men.
Not all guys are bad, but not all women are either, and for every man out there sending women messages that women don't want there is a woman out there who thinks she is worth more then men so she doesn't have to give what she takes. You've been telling men they are doing it wrong for centuries. How about you step up to the plate then? I am trying once again with the online dating. I read the response of the recently divorced 62 year old man in Vancouver.
If you haven't been on a date in 27 years, don't be too disappointed if you can't get one right away. As you said, you and your recent ex were introduced.
Probably you had mutual acquaintances and got the opportunity to know one another over time. The only relationships I ever had started this way. Through friends, meeting at a party, seeing the person regularly in my community. If you don't drink, you can still no to a bar. There are loads of places where people socialize, listen to music, dance. Have a club soda if you don't drink alcohol.
I try to read the on line profiles of the men who send me messages. I am never married with no kids. A recently separated man is not for me. He is not actually single. I dated a man who claimed to have been divorced for many years. He is very involved with his ex wife mother of his adult son as she had an accident and is helping to take care of her.
The son 30 years old is a good kid but has a miriad of personal and health problems. He also had a large extended family he spends a lot of time with. This is great, but I was wondering where I fit in. Apparently he is looking for a lover and was VERY forward practically dove on me on our first date. I am a slow starter and do not appreciate this type of thing. On line dating is not so easy for the over 50 set.
Also, since I am not divorced, I usually ask the men why they are divorced. Most do not want to talk about it, so that is a non starter for me. If the person cannot express to me why their marriage did not work out, their are probably a lot of thing they will not be able to express to me. Just hang in there. Consider yourself lucky for having had a long marriage. If their is a particular reason why your marriage ended, reflect on it honestly so you can communicate it to a new woman who comes into your life.
She will probably ask about it. In the meantime, don't think about all the limitations you express about all the reasons you cannot "go out". You say you go to the park. Ask a woman to meet you there. You don't have to drink coffee. Just buy one for her. Can you go to a museum? If you get to know her better and you like each other, you can cook a meal for her. Take her to a concert, go to a play. There are loads of graduate schools that put on excellent performances of all kinds that are very reasonably priced or free.
How in the world do you expect to meet a woman if you do not move away from your computer screen? If you do not step out from. I paid for an eHarmony subscription for a year because I heard such positive reviews about their matchmaking algorithm, but found that many of the guys also had profiles on POF so I didn't see the point in paying anymore.
EHarmony was great in that you could only connect with someone with whom you were deemed compatible, but new matches were sent infrequently. POF allows anyone to contact anyone so it is easy to be bombarded with unwanted messages from incompatible suitors, but it's free. My biggest complaint about online dating is the deplorable lack of manners and grammar. I don't believe I have ever received a message containing even one punctuation mark in the two years I've been a member on POF, and the messages can be outright lewd!
I've also been the target of a determined fellow more than once, so it really comforted me to read this author experienced the same.
I do not engage with users who are disrespectful, have clearly not read my profile, or lack even a basic understanding of spelling and grammar, and I typically delete these unwanted messages. If you're reading this, guys, please take the author's advice and actually read our profiles before you randomly solicit us for sex, and for heaven's sake use complete sentences!
I look for men who DONT want children I have them already, and finding someone who is happy to date a single mum Even if getting attention IS easy, does it mean the man is necessarily right for me?
I read the profiles carefully. And if they read mine carefully, they might discover that I am really not right for them. I get attention from men all the time. And I speak to men all the time.
Finding a special person is not easy for a man or a woman. Speaking from personal experience, a man who has poor hygiene and no employment or income is not the man for me. He doesn't have to be rich. I will not date a man who asks me to borrow money or cannot pay for a cup of coffee.
If he cannot bother to take care of his teeth, shave or put on a clean shirt, what makes him think I would want to get physically close to him? This is pretty basic stuff. The truth is, it is not easy for a man or a a woman to find a good partner. Do you know what you are looking for? If it is just "attention", that is easy to find. If is is a long lasting relationship with a suitable partner, that is not so easy for a man or a woman to find.
Get over the idea that you do not get enough "attention". Personally, I am very allergic to animals. I live in a city and would not date a man with animals. It makes me uncomfortable as I physically cannot tolerate them. I would never ask the man to give up his pet, so when I see a man is an animal lover, I don't respond. It is not that I do not like animals, I just cannot breathe around them.
I had one boyfriend with a dog who kept the animal very clean, his home was spotless he had a professional housekeeper and dog groomer. He also did not allow the dog to lie on the furniture or the bed and was very sensitive to the fact that some people are allergic to animals. I was able to date that man. It is really the exception, however. Other men I know with pets like to lounge with them, sleep with them, have them hang out everywhere. That's absolutely great, but it does not match up with me.
So I do not reply. Think about all the reasons a woman might not reply. Do you live miles away? Are you spending all your time and money on your children from your previous marriage? Nothing wrong with being a responsible parent, but where does that leave the single woman with no kids you want to date? If she is also divorced with school aged kids, maybe it's a possible match. Women do not "have it easy". And neither do the men.
As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 3 main sites I have used, I can categorically say that; even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming Us "men" get ignored or blocked. I have been blocked many times for just being interested about a lady's profile. I don't say anything sexual and I am always polite. They want someone to chat to and, when they get bored, there's always more men to choose from.
Women will get around messages every few days. They may be crappy messages but it's still a message. All I see woman say on profiles is how men pester them with sexual comments and, if they are not sexual, all they say is; "hi". As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 3 main sites I have used, I can catagorically say that; even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming I am a woman and just gave up on POF and Eharmony because I did not receive 1 message in the whole 6 months I paid to be on both sites.
Not lewd, poorly written or otherwise. So I don't' see how it is harder for a man who can message anyone he likes, than it is to sit and wait and get nothing. Even "unattractive" men get more attention than that. But if you are an average or worse looking female, you might as well not even sign up.
You would be lucky to get get a reply. And as far as average women, let me tell you I'm not one to judge but I know women who by most standards would be considered below average. She has showed me. And secondly it's hard not to get a bit of any ego or get pick when you feel you have the power of choice.
Lastly unattractive men do not get a response period. They either get laughed at, get turned into a joke, or have woman block them or threaten them simply for showing interest even if they did so in a completely normal, acceptable way. I'm not saying whether you had it hard or not. But if you think any mean who isn't on the higher side of average is realistically getting any attention you have alot to learn about the male side of this.
Also why can't you intimate a conversation? I'm female and I've been on Match on and off 3 times. First when I was 50 and looked Then 55 and looked 50, etc. I look great and younger. I had pretty much nothing but weirdos asking for pics naked before we met really?
Out of all this, I had a few coffees and drinks I won't go to dinner with someone that I haven't met, as I don't want to waste their money or mine if we don't click a bit, so it's coffee or drinks at first out of many responses, I had no one go out with me that I responded to, I had 2 crazy men I ended up leaving the date after they got weird, and only 1 man who I am still friends with 5 years later. We never became romantic as there was no spark, but we hit it off as friends, something I wasn't looking for, really, but, I figured, oh, well, a single woman can always use a guy friend, and we help each other out with chores.
He helps me with yard work and woodworking, I help him with laundry and ironing. Not often, but from time to time we hang out. I don't think its possible for someone in my age group to suceed on line. To women who think that men that get no responses on dating sites are genetic losers or something, you couldnt be more wrong. I get a lot of attention from women outside, im 6 foot 2 and confident and women respond a lot to it.
I also look better in real life than on a selfie, id need a professional photographer almost to make me look how I look at myself in the mirror thats what others see anyway.
I've seen similar guys as me, popular guys that try tinder and get zilch. Is it our fault for not wanting to work more on our profiles and hire professional photographers?
Anyway I find anyone who spends more than 2 hours on an internet profile is wasting their time. I'll just stick to real life, where women show a lot more judgement. I am 6 foot and confident and well dressed. I have a job and I am reasonably good looking. These 2 gentleman are correct. There is no point to it anymore. It's a losing game and it's only getting worse. We aren't trying to bat out of our league either, it just is what it is. Online dating is dying and women killed it.
This is my situation. My online profile gets less attention than my real life presence I'm a bit ticked. I currently have 3 women I work with that I'm not really interested in at all totally keep giving me the "I want you look".
I don't like going to bars because I'm not much of a public social drinker, and I abhor 1 night stands with people I don't know very well. I'm not very tall 5'11" and apparently good looking enough to always attract attention from someone at least once a month.
I've had way more success than most men on dating sites. Most of the women I've met just want casual sex, typically one night stands. My last two girlfriends from POF were abusive and one pretended to be pregnant.
Most women I've chatted to without meeting just wanted an ego boost or to talk to "friends" on a dating site! Any woman is going to get a ton more genuine guys than a man will get genuine women. It's a numbers game and the numbers will always favour the girls. Let's hear about how terrible it is for women. Ok lil boys and girls, heres what they dont tell you and why you do or dont get replies based on your gender.
In the age groups.. First the women on these sites. Now guys for the most part my brethren are the same except where as the women imply theyre single, you retards take off your wedding rings and replace them with credit cards, because all your looking for is a piece if strange and an ego boost cause you knocked up your ol'ladies and no one told you after she pops out a few lil ones her tits are gonna sag and her ass is gonna get wider than broad st, so you think your entitled to go out and chase young strange until you get caught, then you whine like the bitches you are when you do , and dont wanna give up the old and busted til you have the new hotness commited , basically just like all the women do Dating sites are a waste.
I've spent two years and read a lot of columns like this and put the advice into practice. I've had 6 dates, none of which panned out. I'm a decent guy; solid career, clean background my job requires security clearance , I'm NOT looking for a hookup, I always try to start conversations with their interests, and I even got female friends to vet my profile.
Yet while I make it clear I'm looking for a serious relationship, I get hit with "oh, I am just looking for a friend, not dating". I get to the point of meeting in person Had several who suddenly realize they are not ready to date again I'm 47, most singles my age are divorced.
What I've found is the old stereotype is often true; if a guy isn't really hot or really wealthy, there's no interest. One who I went on a date with actually said I was too nice. One asked me to text a picture I have several in my profile, both headshot and full head-to-toe photos , then literally said "oh I did the "fake profile" test, left most details the same. Changed my name put up photos of a relatively unknown in the U.
The rest of the details job, interests, kids, etc.
Imsges: how to tell someone youre dating you have herpes
Not a game machine. I let him know yesterday that I wouldn't be able to go.
Does she live nearby? After study a few of the blog posts on your website now, and I truly like your way of blogging.
Your partner deserves the same consideration. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. This is pretty basic stuff. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog well, almost…HaHa! What host are you the use of?
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