How to Get Your Ex Back Permanently – 5 Step Plan
Add the fact that you skipped breakfast because you were late for office in the morning. Most of the advice in this 5 Step Plan is counter-intuitive, but it works. If you answered something like. So, how I get her think of me, how I make her forget another guy?
Get honest about WHY you broke up
Hey, there's this girl i was dating who ended things between us 5 days ago. I really love him and deep down know he still cares for me and loves me. Here are the rules for texting your ex. One morning he decided to end things on April the 29th which seemed like it was just out of no where. I'm seeing her this week, and already told her I'd call her back tmrw. One of the greatest ways to push her to bring it in your life is going no contact with her.
But, the amount of stimulus you need is inversely promotional to the amount of absence you need. If the absence of the thing or the person is pretty big at the time, then you may not need a very direct stimulus to evoke the emotion of missing.
From here on, we will speak the quantity of absence and stimulus in terms of percentage. Note that these percentages are only approximate in each case and I am using numbers only to illustrate my point.
In the above scenario, the stimulus is not directly related to pies. But you have a strong absence of something you cherish. So, your mind finds a way to connect something not even related to pies, with pies. Now that we have understood the importance of getting her to miss you not really important during no contact, extremely important after no contact and the basics of missing stimulus and absence ; we will go into some tactics on how to use it with your ex girlfriend and how to avoid letting it blow up on your face.
One of the most obvious way to get your ex girlfriend to miss you is to do no contact. I am sure you have come across that term hundreds of times as you searched about breakups online. Doing no contact means you stop contacting your ex girlfriend. I go into detail about how no contact affects you and your ex girlfriend in Stage 1 of this article. Here, I will explain why doing no contact is one of the most effective strategy to make your ex girlfriend miss you.
You and your ex probably spoke to each other almost every day while you were together. I am going to assume that you were together for quite a while.
Your ex girlfriend is used to speaking to you about her day, about her feelings, about her likes, dislikes and everything in between for almost a year. After the breakup, she still has the desire to speak to you about those things.
But she will probably stop herself from doing so because she has decided to breakup with you and move on. However, you going through grief and in denial decide to keep contacting her everyday through every means possible.
You text her, call her, message her on Facebook. A lot of guys do this in an attempt to remind her of the good times. They do it to try to create a stimulus in her mind, so she remembers the good times and misses them. By contacting her, you are conveying the above message to her sub conscious mind. In essence, you are telling her that you are still present in her life and you will always be present in her life. When you stop contacting her, you suddenly become absent in her life.
But remember, just because she misses you, does not automatically make her want you back. If she decided to breakup with you, she will want to stick to it. Doing no contact can backfire on you if you are not doing it for the right reasons with the right mindset. Again, I want you to read this article on getting your ex girlfriend back to have a bigger picture in mind. You are doing no contact to focus on yourself and become a better version of yourself. Sometimes, your ex girlfriend will test you when you start doing no contact.
If you are doing no contact for the wrong reasons to get her to miss you, to make her feel miserable, or to get her to contact you first ; you will end up looking like a fool. And sometimes, she will even tell you straight away that she still loves you and has feelings for you. Honestly, I want you to stop having hope that we can ever get back together in the future.
Trust me, it breaks my heart every time I hear some poor guy go through this shit that their ex girlfriends put them through. But this is life. And you gotta learn to live with it. And you gotta learn to win in it. If you are doing no contact for the right reasons, you will probably know how to deal with this situation yourself. I need some time to deal with the breakup and do some soul searching. I hope you understand. Stop contacting her after that and stop replying to her if she contacts you first.
I can guarantee she will respect you more for it and will start missing you like crazy. When you are doing no contact, you can do a few things to get your ex girlfriend to miss you. Like I mentioned before, trying to get your ex to miss you during no contact is only optional. As we discussed above, just doing no contact should be enough to get her to miss you. Everything you do during no contact should be aimed at increasing your absence in her life.
The reason is simple, as long as the amount of absence is pretty high, everything will act as a stimulus. As you both move forward with your life, your ex girlfriend will slowly start getting used to the idea of not having you in her life. The amount of your absence she feels in your life will start going down. In my experience, it takes about days for this to happen.
Here are a few tactics you can use after 21 days to get her to miss you. Social Media is a double edged sword. Using it to make your ex miss you can be a disaster if you are not ready for it. So if at any point you feel like the following tactics are backfiring, stop immediately and go full no contact. As I said above, your aim is to create more absence in her life instead of doing things to remind her of the good times. The fact that you are living life is a strong signal that you are no longer living your life with her.
When she sees pictures of you living your life, her subconscious mind is going to take it a sign that you have moved on and will make her panic. This will create a strong absence in her sub conscious mind of you. This creates jealousy as well as absence in her mind for you. The thought of you moving on to someone else will create a strong absence in her mind for you.
Sometimes, your ex girlfriend will try to call you out by going the extra miles to post pictures of her. Your mind will go into berserk mode thinking that you have lost her for good. This is your mind on red alert mode.
On other extremes, some guys may respond to this by trying to compete with her and posting pictures with other girls. Thus confirming her belief that you are doing things on social media for her to see. But, I want to remind you that this is a shit test.
That means she did it to get a reaction out of you. To call out your bluff. The easiest way to pass this shit test is to do nothing. If seeing her pictures or social media statuses causes you to panic, then you should block her from everywhere or delete your social media profiles. Remember, your priority is to heal during no contact and focus on yourself.
If anything compromises that, you must cut it off. And that includes social media. If you and your ex girlfriend have common friends, there is a good chance they are conveying information to her about you.
You can use this to your advantage. If you are truly working on yourself and healing from the breakup, it will show. You can just ask your common friends to hang out with you and they will notice everything that has changed in you. If you are healthier, they will notice. If you are happier, they will notice. If you are more confident, they will notice.
A lot of times, your ex girlfriend will use her friends against you. She might ask them to call you and tell you stuff about her. They panic and try to use logic with her friends. They will try convince her and say things like,. You know I love her too much. You know she will never find someone like me. By saying anything like this, you are confirming to her friend that you are still available for her. You are still waiting for her. And you are still present in her life. And if you are present in her life, you are not absent.
And if there is no absence, there is no missing. The easiest way to pass this shit test is to stop acknowledging her friend or even her as a reliable source of information about her feelings. The truth is, most people are not that much in touch with their feelings.
She might be going through terrible grief, but she is tricking herself into thinking that she is happy. She might be having doubts in her mind but she is trying to stay consistent to her decision. The easiest way to respond to this is to be honest, be vulnerable and only talk about yourself. The breakup has been hard on me and I am still trying to recover from it. You want her to speak to you regularly. This means that you will not be totally absent from her life. Look after yourself first and love yourself or how do you expect anyone to love you.
Me and my ex were together for 4 and a half months. She mentioned a while ago when a guy messaged her that they had a thing before me and her but she assured me that it was the past. I smoke cigarettes and weed and I am forcing myself to quit these things and I feel like its the only chance of getting her back. Ive also been looking suuuper hard. This guy that she had a thing with before us is now going all out to try and snatch her up. She broke up with me a week ago and I got information from her friend that she has already gone out on 2 dates with him… that hit me like a train.
As soon as I heard that I bursted into tears. I will do anything in my power to get her back because what i dont think she realises is that I am the one who actually cares about her and loves her and this other guy just wants sex.
I am way too attatched to this girl and she has such a huge part of my heart and its killing me that she left me so suddenly. DONT blow up her phone. The night started out with a romantic dinner and then we met her friends out at the bar..
We both had a great night until after bar close when we were trying to decide on what we were going to all do the rest of the night.. She proceeded to walk away with her and a few of her guy friends so naturally I got upset. I contemplated on what to do and them decided to walk to her place..
That was obviously not a good decision, when I got there I got upset and accused her of not wanting to be with me and she went on to say that I followed her he and was stalking her which was not my intent at all.. I then immediately started to try and plead with her and ask her why and kept trying to get her to talk to me about it and all she did was tell me to leave and go home, which I did after waiting for a cab for an hour.. She responded with what r u talking about and I then responded with I know your sleeping with him I could tell how lit up your face was when you looked at him and then told her one more time that she was going to sleep with him..
About a half hour goes by and she text me back that she misses me and said that she was getting a cab to come over.. So she came over and apologized for being a brat and apologized for the night.. So I let it be figured we would talk in the morning about it, so we had sex and went to bed. I brought her home and when I dropped her off I asked if I could have a kiss and we kissed and she said ill talk to you later..
The next day I sent her another message in the afternoon asking her if she would have time to talk in person and she said yea.. Being absolutely heartbroken at this point I decided to make her a huge bouquet of flower along with a handwritten card apologizing for everything that happened.. My girlfriend told me she did not love me the same way she used to. That I was more of a best friend type of love… She has new friends that go out alot and she also started to drink socially..
Im not sure this is a cry for independence or because her parents do not a good relationship. So i wondered if she imprinted her dads action on to me as I would treat her as he treats her and her mom….. I tried telling her I could do things differently and so on but she starts med school soon and I am not sure if she wants to be independent or what… I have not texted her and deleted my own facebook to avoid contact.
She didnt cheat, we didnt end on a argument. I was the one who said okay goodbye. And thats the last time I talked to her 2 weeks ago. Any ideas on what i should do?
Hey guys i really need help. Me and our gf have gone through a breakup its not the first time this would be the third time. But i do not know if this one is serious. She said shes too young for a relationship she just wants to be single an live life. She does not want a bf.
I took her birginity and she took mine. But i dont want to lose her im desperate to have her back. I waited a couple of weeks then started speaking to her again.
We caught up a couple of times just as friends. But even then she doesnt txt me unless i txt her. And when she replies its only short words. She actually got angry coz i went out with a few mates drinking and she asked if i hooked up with another girl. So that msg to me feels like she still cares for me but doesnt want a relationship. I snapped last night and txtd her and askes if she ever misses us. She said i dont think it can work anymore i just want to live life on my own.
People are saying find someone new she was your first love. But the thing is i dont want to. We shared so many good times together. It was always me and her. She was me to a tea i couldnt see myself with anyone else but her. Shes the girl i want to spend the rest of my life with. I need this girl back so bad its not funny.
As like normal guys v guys were in contact, latter on she kept on tellin you gotta move on and all that.. Recently I avoided textin her callin for lik two days, I had even tried avoiding her even b4 once she herself had called from front to know if I am fine.. I acted all fine.. Nd lst night I just bumped at her in place … V wer together boozing she had come with her friends, even then she ws full time wit me , all off sudden topic off our relationship started I was in tears , she wiped my tears , hugged nd kissed me on forehead..
Nd I got to know through her friends tat even she broke down… I really don know what to do??? I just love her alot!!! Tis is killin me..
Does she still love me?? Got a text from my GF immediately returning from a vacation together. Admittedly, I was a little taken back by it, but handled it appropriately. Obviously it showed she had been rather interested in me and then some. Any recommendations on how to proceed? After a year and few months, my ex left me cold turkey. She was 25 and I was her 2nd real boyfriend, she was a goodie stay at home girl. Sometimes I want to text her just to ask how she is or somehow to see that beautiful smile of hers again..
Sad thing is it feels like all she ever thinks about are the bad things and the faults during our relationship. I think this is where people that are in love differ…I can only see what makes her so special to me and why its so hard for me to remember the not so green side of the relationship.
Maybe finding someone that sees only the good in me is what love truly is. My gf doesnot want to c me anymore.. A month ago,c had to prepare for sum serious test n at that time i was frustrtd wid boredom so i behavd in a rough way i guess.. So plz help me.. Need a really helpful advice. Me and my girl been dating for almost 18 months. And I became depending and demanding which leads to posessive attitude.
Starts acting jealous and shit. The last months before we broke up we had a huge fight. We yelled to each other, and she hits and kicks me like crazy and I lose my temper back then. I slap her cheek once not in purpose and I cried over her because I felt so wronged for doing that.
Things seems to go well, but all of a sudden she blow up some litlle mess into a reason for broke me up. She oftenhy hide something for me. Even lied to me. I even saw still her posting pics on our date. Been 6 months since we broke up and she never respond to my text and calls. I tried to hold it, but last week we talked through text. And I begged her to come back. Remind her things we used to do. I always honest to her.
Never mess with any other girl. I feel responsible for that. Need to get her back. But none of no talking method works. I feel guilty when I text and begged her after months I gave her own space to cool down. I really love her man.
She obviously was too hurt or never really had affection. Just fight for her. Send her written letters. Also never give up.. I know you can do this.. What if your ex works at your job and still talks to you friendly? Should I engage or should I ignore her politely? Idk what to do here. Just to let you, we broke up last night and we argued like hell. Eventually me and her pulled each other together because of the chaos. She wants the old me back, the one she first meet. I truly love her and need some help with this, not to be weak but because I love her, and I fear that she might go out with that guy if she breaks up with me.
Is there a way for me to make her have feelings for me again? A way for not to break up with me? Thanks anyone and everyone. Me and my girl have two kids together she left me because I was too controlling. She left me 3 months ago. Before she left I accused her of cheating a lot she was tired of it and left. For two months I bothered her trying to get her back. When we last spoke she said she hates me and wished I was dead. I know she still loves me and she knows I still love her.
She thinks if we get back together I will an ass again. She cries sometimes when we talk over the phone. Do I have a chance of getting her back? We been together for 6 years. I overreacted at first too but it was more so because there is a child involved. Mine left just a few days ago as well. The first day she texted me back a few times but then she either changed her number or just let her minutes run out prepaid.
But after looking through some of these sites… I took their advice. Get the testosterone and endorphins flowing. It will take your mind off shit. We had just talked about marriage a few weeks ago. I am going to give it about another week or so and see what happens. It will be hard to make that first leap to contacting her but just be subtle with it. Just be polite and reasonable.
If she is accepting to it… go on with your bad self. I was with my ex gf for about a year and no lie, she is the only girl i have ever really felt happy with.
Well anyways, i feel that its my fault because i decided to take a brake with the relationship. Now she has a boyfriend who she has been with for years. She and I still talk and hang out every now and then her boyfriend doesnt know she hangs out with me nor does he know who i am , but it feels wrong to me. I know she has a boyfriend so i respect her and keep my hands to myself. I am currently going to college and she had just graduated high school we are both I know he doesnt deserve her because he always argues and cusses at her, doesnt trust her what is a relationship without trust?
Who are you with? What are to doing? I have never cussed at her, yes we argued sometimes but got over them easily. I miss her so much and wish that she and I can continue our relationship. Pleeeaaassse help me out. Me and my girl were good and after the first time i came to her house i had to talk to her family and she says i always talked about myself and my problems too much and that i never really payed attention to her and her problems also she says i shunned her family but its been 2 months and i miss her alot but i just dont know how to get her back i still love herand i still wanna be with her but i just dont know what to do or say yo make her wanna be with me again.
I had a gal whom I loved and we did have sex but there sex didnt go well for us. It got to a time that when I call her she didnt pick up my calls then from there we havnt talk to each other or seen each other. Its been a year since that happened.
So me and my ex fiance are no talking terms right now.. I dont like to feel weak but I want her back and its super hard to not see or talk to her. She says im scum to her but then again she still has pictures of me and notes I sent her. Im at a loss right now what should I do to get her back.
Please enter an answer in digits: Straight after a breakup 2 Situation 2: When she has a boyfriend 3 Situation 3: After a year or more 4 Situation 4: Well worth a read. Sexting Tips For Guys: Comments jeff kalunga sparo says: August 17, at 6: June 6, at 1: March 16, at April 4, at 8: Take some time to focus on yourself!
January 2, at January 7, at 5: January 15, at 1: March 19, at 2: Layla you might be right, am gonna throw the arrows using your type of a bow. December 11, at 5: August 21, at 7: The excitement may have fizzled out. December 6, at 2: December 16, at November 17, at August 19, at 2: August 16, at August 11, at 4: January 29, at 7: July 3, at 5: October 22, at 3: September 1, at 3: August 17, at 8: May 14, at January 10, at 8: May 11, at 1: May 10, at 6: May 3, at April 23, at 3: April 12, at 3: April 10, at 9: April 6, at 2: March 24, at March 3, at February 15, at 4: February 12, at 4: February 7, at 1: February 6, at 8: February 5, at 9: January 16, at 5: January 8, at 9: January 8, at January 3, at 4: December 14, at November 25, at November 21, at 9: November 20, at 4: November 19, at November 18, at November 13, at 4: Let me chime in here… I recently lost my girlfriend.
And if she wants out, you give her respect and space. December 14, at 9: November 6, at 4: Accept yourself for who you are. Neediness which is very unattractive comes from doubts within yourself. Whereas confidence comes from awareness and accepting yourself. Go out on a date. This is absolutely essential and if you are reading this, then I will recommend that you definitely go out on a few dates before ending no contact with your ex. You have to ask yourself this question, why do you want to get back with your ex?
If you answered something like. Then you are still suffering from post-breakup denial and bargaining. Denial and bargaining are two of the many stages of grief after a breakup.
For example, even if your relationship with your ex was abusive, you might want to rekindle it just because you are missing them. Look at it like this, every relationship has problems, fights, and disagreements. But if you two broke up, then there was something very wrong with your relationship. If you listen to your heart, all you will hear is that you love your ex and you want them back. Instead, try to think with your mind. Analyze the pros and cons of your relationship. Analyze the pros and cons of your ex.
Analyze what your goals in life are and whether or not a relationship with your ex aligns with those goals. Remember, your ex will not make you happy, only you can make yourself happy. And the only way you can do it is by understanding yourself, loving yourself, appreciating what you have, understanding your purpose in life and pursuing it. You are making a huge decision right now. So you better make sure that it is the right one.
Relax and do things that make you feel better. When you start being happy in life without your ex, you will realize whether or not getting your ex back is the right decision. And that is extremely important before you move on to the next step, which is contacting your ex. Remember when your ex left you? They thought of you as a needy, clingy and desperate person with little to no self-respect.
After not being in contact with you for a while, they must be wondering what the heck happened to you. They will slowly start to forget that image of yours the needy desperate one and start remembering the things they liked about you. They will start remembering the things that they found attractive in you. Just as they lay eyes on you, BOOM. You look like you are doing great in your life. You look confident, sexy, fun and attractive. You look like a catch.
Why did I break up with you again? If you have been following this guide till now, then you know how to go about the first point. Now, there are two ways that you can contact your ex. One is through a letter or email, and the other one is through text messages.
You can also call your ex but I recommend you first build up some attraction using text messages and letter before calling them. A hand written letter stands out in this age of digital technology. Of course, you can use an email as well. To let your ex know that you have accepted the breakup.
You are letting them know that you are no longer the needy desperate person who was refusing to accept the breakup. To apologize for any of your inappropriate behavior after the breakup.
To let them know of something exciting that is happening in your life. Just tell them something good is happening in your life. Because you both need some space and time. You want to give them something to chew on. You are using curiosity to get your ex contact you. Of course, something must be happening in your life. If you want a sample letter written for you, you can find it in Step 5.
Text messages should ideally be used after sending the hand written letter to build up attraction. You can even skip the hand written letter and move on directly to text messages. But I highly recommend you use either one or both of these before actually calling your ex. Text messages are great for building attraction with your ex. They are short, they are personal and you can be sure your ex will read your texts.
If used correctly, you can condition your ex to light up in excitement whenever they see a message from you. Read this more detailed article on getting your ex back with text messages. The key to using text messages is to be very subtle.
Never ever directly talk about your feelings or about your relationships. You want them to associate text messages to something positive and fun. Here are the rules for texting your ex. Never send them an empty message. Now here are a few things that you should do while using text messages. It reminded me of you.
I actually had a smile on my face. I am so glad you never told me the ending. Man, that was exciting. I am glad we did that. I just crossed it and it looks like they are closing down.
Do you remember the name of the hotel we stayed in when we went last year? Now there are tons of other things you can do with texts.
But the key point remains the same. Right now, you just want to go from the creepy ex to a fun text buddy. Of course, you will be moving things forward slowly. Do not call it a date. If you do, your ex will put their defenses up faster than Garfield finds Lasagna.
At least not now. You want them to go out with you as a friend. And then you can build up attraction while you are with them. And this works doubly as effective on your ex than any other person.
Because they were already attractive to you at one point in time. And you are not a stranger to them. You are someone familiar who looks very attractive. The best way to ask them out is to give them a call. Just go out with me once. The least you can do is go out with me one time. You have to treat them like an acquaintance you want to get close with. You just want to be yourself attractive, fun, happy, and awesome.
Do not talk about your past relationship or your breakup. It will lead to no good. That relationships is over and if you two do get back together, it will be a new relationship. There is no point digging old graves when you want to start a new life. OK, even though this guide is quite long and covers most of what you need to know on this subject, there are a lot of topics that are not covered here. I call this email series EBP Basics. One inspiring, helpful , insightful and motivating email everyday.
I have helped thousands of people somewhere around 50, with these emails. The reason why these everyday emails are so effective is because you get a small dose of inspiration, motivation and useful information every day. The no contact period is the most important part of the plan and with Part 5, you will get support during the no contact period. More importantly, I reveal a lot of secret tactics and tricks that are not mentioned in this guide. We have an active comment section. Scroll down to read the comments.
Before commenting, read commenting guidelines. My boyfriend and I broke up recently, it was a mutual agreement but I feel like he thinks that he was the one broke things off. We actually were on a break for a month prior to that, because he needed space. I did not respect that space and I am guessing that's why things ended. I was desperate during the break but started getting better with myself, maybe even moving on, I'm not sure.
I was actually expecting the break-up since I have screwed no contact during the break up and as the one month-long break proceeded, I started feeling better as I said, but he didn't, he was angry with me, quite abusive actually but we ended things in a nice way, stating that we just couldn't work as a couple and both of us were very relieved.
He did say that he thinks our romantic relationship has no future. Today I started thinking about him and I decided to give him a second chance, though I don't think he wants me anymore. Keeping no contact will be hard, especially since we are in the same group of friends, we will be attending a same party this weekend and in a little more than two weeks, we are going to travel abroad with this same group of friends.
How can I get him back if no contact is not an option? I am also afraid that with us being around the same social group he will start to see me as a friend, thus pushing away from the idea of a relationship. What can I do? Since you feel that you have changed and picked yourself up since the break, no contact may not be as necessary for your case. Try to limit the amount of one-to-one interaction with him too, for this may make you easier to read since you want to keep your level of mystery there.
I was in a relationship for 5 yrs. We love each other very much, she was my best friend and vice versa. At first when i met her she has low self esteem but i managed to boost her confidence. She is one hell of a happy lady i ever met.
Just last year i got a job and i had to relocate eventho she was hurting she supported me through it and she was so happy for me that i got a job of my dream. At the early stage of my relocation things were going on well. Until last August we had our very first argument and i literally texted her let quit. And for the very first time in our 5 yrs we didnt call or text each other and that lasted for 6 days.
When i finally did all she said was why did i take so long to call. I realised that i didnt treat her well so i quickly got a transfer back to her. But things werent the same since that day. She completely shut down, she isolated her self, tge sight of me irritates her, she doesnt eat but gained weight. She told me she lost feelings for me. Nothing excited her any more.
She said she is unhappy and something inside her is broken. We do text everyday but she refuse to hang with me or see me. I asked her if she wanted to see a counsellor, she refused think about it and let me knoe if she is ready. I dnt want to loose her. The only person she hangs out with now is my sister. Last 2 days I messaged her that I wanted to talk to her and her mum and she replied me as saying there is no point I know me and her is not going to work.
But I took things personally that I was like we had the best relationship ever why would she just throw it out of the window just because she lost feelings for me. I know through all this hurt n pains I would thrive and be a winner. Apparently she didn't take the word winner likely and she was complaining about it to my sister. And she also told me she got a job and she is feeling good without me asking.
Currently I have pulled back a bit. I wanted to start the no NC rule again and perform the reconnection very well. You should probably restart NC as you've mentioned and try to give her more space to let go of the negative emotions she feels.
Perhaps ask your sister to find out why your ex is so against talking to you or meeting you, and what you did wrong specifically. At least that might give you a better idea on how to handle the situation. I have used 30 days no contact once with my ex. Is 30 days no contact a one time use only or will it work the second and third times as well?
The NC is not a ticket to get back together with your ex, but rather a rule of thumb to adopt whenever a breakup happens, to give both parties enough breathing room to let go of negative emotions and to pick themselves up. Even if you've done NC once, you can always use it again if need be as long as the mindset is correct. Hi, my story is for all the hopeless cases out there.
My ex of a couple years broke up with me, then moved to the other side of the country about a month and a half later. I did NC for about three months and followed every rule of the full-length guide and work sheets down to certain exact quotations.
I think this guide is the best kept secret in love and relationships and I thank everyone involved in its creation. Thanks for the positive sharing J! We hope that others would be reminded of the positivity they stand to gain at the end of things by being strong, staying positive, and persevering in the guided steps. I typed a comment before but I'm not sure if it submitted or not, but I really need advice.
My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago after dating for over 4 years. We started having problems last year with our sex life. We weren't having sex as much as he liked, it was partly due to a medication I was on that lowered my libido and made me very dry. Anyways, that was our biggest problem. We tried to fix it by just agreeing to do it more but it was easier said than done since we still each live at home and its hard to find somewhere private.
Back in January, we were still having sex issues and I was so confused and started to wonder whether or not I was still attracted to him. I started to also wonder what it would be like to be single and do things with other people, and i think thats normal to wonder for some people who have been dating for so long.
Anyways in January i suggested a break as we had been having other issues like finding fun things to do and places to go out to. After a week I missed him and I didn't want to lose him, we met back up and he said I had to do the talking. I didn't have much time to come up with solutions since I had been so busy with school but basically I said that I'm still attracted to him, and that I will find more places for us to go to instead of putting all the pressure on him.
He said this was my last chance, and we got on with it. Things were going really well and we were making progress in our sex life and communication and everything. We decided to go out one night to a bar which we never do but it was something new and fun.
I had been up since 5am that day and was really moody and stubborn so we got into an argument. I guess that topped it off for him, and I apologized when we got home and told him I have fun with him when we go out, and it was okay, but he needed a day to cool off.
He came over the next day and was all nice saying I looked pretty and everything. We went downstairs to talk and he kept saying how he thinks I don't have fun with him when we go out, etc, and we both started crying. He said he wasn't sure what else there is to do and that maybe its just not our time.
The next day I went to his house and dropped of pictures of us, a 3 pages letter and a bear telling him how much I love him. About a week later her changed his relationship status on Facebook to single, and I felt to broken I drove to his house and had to talk to him.
I told him my feelings and that I am sure we can fix this with more effort on my part. I made a huge list of activities we could do at home and going out both sexual and non sexual. I said I'm still attracted to him and still love sex we just don't take up the opportunities we have to do it enough. I said everything I needed to and he said he needs to focus on himself now and we aren't getting back together. He got angry and told me not to talk to him and i didn't. Its been about a week and a half now since that argument and he sent me a text saying that if I want I can meet up with him this week and he can explain why he did what he did and answer any questions I have.
I'm not sure what to do cause it doesn't seem like a good thing to meet up but I really honestly think that I can fix this with more effort on my part. I just wasn't on the same page he was at the time. I love him so much and its not that I feel like I can't do anything by myself because I can but I miss him terribly, and talking to him, and seeing him everyday, and being in his company. I love him so so much.
I don't want to lose him. Since you're trying once more to work things out, I suggest giving it your best effort to make things work this time around but remember that it's a relationship ultimately and there needs to be reciprocity or compromise when it comes to efforts in maintaining the relationship and working on issues. If it doesn't work out again, there's a likelihood that something is wrong with both your frequencies or communication methods, and it might be better to give both parties some space to work on those issues separately before trying anything out again in the future.
To be brief, my ex and I broke up on feburary 20th. This morning, after 21 days no contact, he texted me: I had totally forgot. What should I answer, how should I act with him and espicially what do you think all of this means?
You could ask him which things he wants to come by and collect, and gauge from there. If you're not entirely sure whether you want him back, perhaps it's better to figure that part out first before you take any action. He said he wanted to collect his hoodie, his bag and his socks but, the thing is that he gave them all to me when we were together.
I don't want to be rude to him or do anything that could cause some other tensions between us , but should I accept , and give him the things he gave me back or should I just tell him that those were given and I am going to keep them, what exactly should I do?
I'm not a part of the Team, just someone who read your comment, but I would text something like "I thought they were a gift, but if you really want them back, sure. Would xx work for you, my schedule is pretty full until then? This will also give you more time to reflect on your feelings. You should accept it if he really wants them back because by being rude, like you say, you may cause tension and he might think of you differently.
Just take it as a restart to things instead of the end of hope. I really miss him, I think our relationship had potencial and ended too soon.
I love him and he made me very happy. If he's capable of dating someone so soon, it could either mean the new relationship is a rebound or that he didn't see his relationship with you as significant enough. Either way, continue with NC for now and work on improving yourself and working on the areas you felt caused the breakup on your part, at least.
If it's true and he's dating someone else, you might even want to consider moving on from things, but if not - initiate contact again with him some time later and show him the changes you've made to your life. So, 4 weeks ago, I had a last fight my ex-girlfriend. Then, she asked me for space to think 'cause she doesn't knew what she wants anymore.
Out of fear, I tried to reach out to her for a period of 3 weeks by calling and texting, even pleading and begging her that this time will be different As I contacted her in those 3 weeks, asking for a last chance, I know that what I did was not okay, she gave me that chance many times, but she took it away from me after a day or two, before I could prove it to her that everything will be okay this time.
This has happened repeatedly in those 3 weeks She did that out of fear of not being hurt again A week ago, we had to go somewhere together with her car. She was really cold towards me all the way When she stopped the car, I touched her hand, askin' to look me in the eye and I said that I do not want the break-up, but if that she really wants, I'll agree about leting her go Then, when I get out of the car, she came to me, hugged me really tight and when I kissed her for the last time, the expression of her face changed, turning into her old happy self again.
I felt her regret for leaving me, I felt her immense love towards me And when I felt that, I knew that she still loves me despite stating that she doesn't want a relationship with me right now After that day, she contacted me about her university grades, I replied politely, and that was it I haven't had contact with her for a week now.
It just hurts and I do not know what I should do, to be patient and wait or I do love her sincerely, not because I feel lonely without her, but because she's really special to me I do not know what this means, probably nothing She definitely still loves you, but just isn't sure she can trust you yet. It's something you'll have to prove to her as you go along with your actions and not just your words. Bear in mind that you'll probably face resistance from time to time as she overthinks or even wonders when you'll hurt her again, but it's something you're just going to have to to overcome and be patient each time with her if you want her back in your life for good.
As I said in my previous comment, I haven't seen or spoken with her for a week now. I feel that if I do no contact her, she'll never initiate a conversation. She's someone really proud and the most difficult part is how to change her perspective about me I'm thinking about what should I do?
To give her more time and space? I do not know when is the right time to approach her. And if I approach her, what should I say? If I start a conversation apoligizing and dropping hints she would back off, I think I have stuff to return, but should be in no contact after.
Thing is, she called me drunk to say she wanted me to come over but didn't ask because I'm too far. I'm seeing her this week, and already told her I'd call her back tmrw.
This whole nc thing is tricky because of our distance, and its easier for her to forget than to wonder, right? Should i just send in a spontaneous step 4 text every couple of days and kind of do a push back-pull in kind of approach after i see her? One last thing, i am an upcoming musician and made a song inspired by her, and want her to hear it.
Btw its all positive Thanks. Perhaps you could let her hear the song after you've completed NC. For the time being, return the stuff, and avoid any messy situations until you've given both parties some time to let go of the negative emotions relating to the break up before initiating contact with her again.
I feel rejected at every turn and it keeps weighing on me. Luckily I rarely have to to see him but I do have to email and talk to him very frequently about work. I thought he was the love of my life and he did at once say he wanted to marry me.
There was no cheating yet we just bickered a lot due to us being too much a like. He said he fell out of love with me. Is all hope gone? For now, keep all conversation at work with him professional and avoid small talk - this is how you practice NC with an ex that you work with. If he's fallen out of love with you, it simply means he lost attraction after all that fighting.
Perhaps it's time to make some positive changes to your life that he may notice, and even ignite his interest again if you're really keen on wanting him back. The good thing is at least things didn't end ugly and on non-talking terms, so you definitely still have a chance. Hello, My boyfriend broke up with me 5 months ago, we were 2 years together and before that 3 years best friends. He had a new relationship with a girl from his university after 2 months he told me 1 month later.
Now she broke up with him she cheated and he comes back to me. He wants the friendship back, he said he wanted to recontact me long before but his ex girlfriend has forbidden him to contact me. He asked our mutual friends how I was. Now I don't know if I am the rebound? If he comes back because of regret? Or does he really just want our friendship back? I don't know what to do because I still love him a lot! It could be any of the 3 reasons, since you wouldn't know his intentions for wanting to come back to you.
However, if he is bound by what his ex allows and doesn't allow - it means that he still probably has feelings for her and there's a strong chance that he's coming back to you out of comfort regret rather than genuinely wanting to be friends.
I really need advice. My ex and I were on and off again for a year and a half. He left me 4 times. This last tome he packed his stuff the day we broke up and i begged him for weeks to come back.
The last time I saw him like 3 weeks ago when I showed up at his job he had been telling me pretty much to have a good life. He had already removed me off all social media and he blocked my number before I saw him.
We said our goodbyes since he was moving. We have been in no contact almost a month and he had told me to move on with my life.
Imsges: how to get my ex girlfriend back when she is dating someone else
Talking about the past memories with your ex can act as a great stimulus.
I have been with this girl for about 6 months we have had out ups and downs but I honestly believe that I am in love with this girl.. By him saying that does that mean the NC is getting to him and that was his way of getting my attention and trying to get me to reply or am I in the friend zone?.
And when I felt that, I shf that she still loves me despite stating that she doesn't want a relationship with me right now I try to dating a girl with many male friends him as little as i can so he has space but its hard and we are still friends on social media even though os deleted all signs of our relationship together. Find yourself and know what you are worth. My exes name is Marc so I got confused! What did i do? I have been blessed and I am grateful that Allah put you in my path.
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