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Hilarious English Names Chinese People Choose

hilarious female dating profiles

Poisoned spy Litvinenko's widow Iraqi asylum seeker, 18, is found guilty of Sign in with Facebook. She tried to ignore them, but was understandably disturbed.

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Back in , a serial criminal cruised the streets of Philly armed only with deli-fresh Swiss cheese and his exposed genitals. There are three separate articles about the day I kicked Jesus in the dick. He was funny, he was charming, and he had a British accent and a mysterious job with the British Ministry of Defense. Father of Ellie Butler - who beat his daughter, six, to death and then lied to cover his tracks - threatens Many people on the site seem to believe that a heavily patterned carpet is the perfect backdrop for a picture. The images provide a bizarre snapshot into the worlds of the people looking for love - and in some cases a weird and wonderful view inside their minds.

So I created profiles of 10 male archetypes and spent a month as these men, interacting with 96 women, researching their methods and scraping data from their profiles. What I discovered about successful online daters was astonishing, and it's emblematic of things I see people doing elsewhere on the Internet.

Popular profiles used aspirational language, kept descriptions short and general, and lied about certain physical characteristics though not the ones you're thinking. Very early on, I'd used qualitative and quantitative analysis to evaluate language.

I could clearly see that the best-performing profiles were those that read as easygoing, youthful and spontaneous. Short profiles that express just enough information to pique someone's interest performed best. In my case, I'd written close to words—a dissertation. What shocked me was how many women seemed to be lying about their height. All of the 96 women I interacted with listed their height as 5'1" - 5'3", even though the average height of an American woman is 5'4".

Popular female daters were friendly and assertive, reaching out to my profiles with casual messages that would open with "Hey" or "Hi there" and follow with "I like that you [detail from profile]. I'm interested in [detail] too. Shortly after I concluded my experiment on JDate, I logged back in with the super profile I'd created for myself. It was me, only optimized to attract the widest possible swath of men.

More than 60 contacted me initially, but none crossed the necessary point threshold. Finally, after widening my geographic search to miles, I found Brian. We chatted online and on the phone for three weeks and finally agreed to meet in person. Our first date lasted 14 hours, and for every date after I continued to marvel as his total point score increased.

I eventually showed him my point list, explained the experiment and even revealed to him my scoring framework. He smiled and said that he'd expect nothing less of me. During our wedding vows, he promised to continue to score as high as he could for the rest of our lives together.

Keep language aspirational, positive and optimistic. Talk in generalities about your hopes, dreams and passions, as long as those things are not controversial.

Keep your tone conversational and light. Keep your profile short but pithy. Aim for between 90 and words, which works out to about three sentences.

Choose your words carefully. If you're not a good writer, figure out the keywords and points you need to make, then ask a friend to help you out. Photos should focus on your waist up, unless you have amazing legs. Then it's OK to include one or two full-body shots in your gallery.

The majority of your photos should be closer up, highlighting your face. Make eye contact with the camera. Don't stage a smile. Instead, try to laugh just before the shot is taken. If you want to use humor, write whatever you're planning to say down and show it to some friends or co-workers. Have them read it aloud. With your tone of voice and inflection, it may be hilarious—but out of your friend's mouth it may fall flat or even be offensive.

Avoid mentioning specific comedians, shows, books, musicians or movies unless those are top-tier attributes on your list. It's possible to be generic about what you like while still being specific enough to sound interesting. Just because you like Louis C. Unless that comedian is one of your deal-breakers, leave him or her off your profile. If you think there's something about what you've done in life that may be controversial or open for interpretation in a way that disadvantages you, then leave it off.

I'm talking about political or activist work here, not things like jail time. These are the types of details to work into a conversation on your first or second date.

If someone introduced himself to you at a party, would the next thing out of your mouth be items off your CV? Of course not, so don't act that way online. Most people don't want to see a list of what you've done unless they're hiring you for a job. Be careful while flirting online, since it's easy to sound too aggressive too soon. The best way to flirt is to care deeply about whatever your date is saying and to focus all of your attention on him or her.

We're flattered when people throw attention our way. So ask thoughtful questions. Take a keen interest in the conversation. For those of you that are not native English speakers, just so you know, Bobo sounds like the name of a clown Bobo Barnett or conjures the image of bimbo. Indeed, former Hong Kong singer and actress, Bobo Chan, bungled her way into the center of the Edison Chen photo scandal, never to see the public light again. Despite the clown and the scandal, there are still plenty of ditsy, bozo-brained Bobos running around out there.

Cantonese Surnames Gone Wrong Due to the frequent use of consonant endings and the numerous conflicting Cantonese romanization systems still in use, familiar Mandarin surnames quickly become quite comical.

Here are but a few examples: You can see with spellings like this how all fun starts to ensue. Take the actor Chow Yun-fat Zhou Renfa , if you say his name based on the Western convention of first name in front of surname, you get Yun-fat Chow. A hilarious example is the popular Wong Fuk Hing Bookstore meme. In some rare cases like Lina, this works out perfectl in both languages or using Lee as a first or last name.

However, there are cases where this can go very wrong in English with names like Long Wang and Shih Ting. A colleague spotted a clerk in Taipei named Yahoo. Another colleague had college classmates in Guangzhou named Fly, Swallow, and Ashtray. The latter may have been a victim of spell check gone wrong, she thought it was the spelling for Ashley. Up and coming foreign entertainer, Justin Caleb Cooper , was approached by a man on the Taipei Metro to take picture with him named Dandelion.

Social Media Funny English names have reached a whole new level on social media. The new real name registration policy may eventually put a dent on this, only time will tell. Here are a couple examples of odd user profiles from popular dating apps:.

There was a Kaka probably named after the Brazilian soccer star , a Dream and a Snory who sat next to each other, and a Seven and an Eleven, in the same office. The names listed above are in the extreme minority and one could argue that there are many odd Chinese names out that that Westerners have managed to invent for themselves. As a rule, Chinese generally people play it safe and pick common English names.

Imsges: hilarious female dating profiles

hilarious female dating profiles

In less than a month of online dating, I came to understand that the algorithms used by dating sites are ineffective, in large part because they rely on user-generated data. These are the well thought out messages she probably received. This lady thinks that pouring a can of Jaguar on her clothes on a riverbank creates a sexy look.

hilarious female dating profiles

In the image he is flexing his muscles in a room that looks like it is straight out ITV sitcom Rising Damp.

hilarious female dating profiles

Bikini-clad Ashley Graham nearly has wardrobe malfunction as she flashes skin in sizzling hilarious female dating profiles two-piece during photo shoot 'There are kids dating etiquette today The fort I made in my basement when I was Popular female daters were friendly and assertive, reaching out to my profiles with casual messages hilarious female dating profiles would open with "Hey" or "Hi there" and follow with "I like that you [detail from profile]. After struggling to say "anesthesiologist" two more times, my eyes drifted down to his forearms, where I noticed what looked like sawdust. And a lying one at that.