Dating: 10 Things Men Don’t Do Anymore
That has little to do with her quality and more to do with that of my options. Are women so horrible that even your mother is not worth anything? The Christian Broadcasting Network. His chances with this girl were dead as was any future chances with any of her friends or most girls he knew within the area code. Even if you are the most alpha of alpha in your crew, you would be wining and dining girls like a simp to get vagina if that was the only way to score.
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Again, feminism is BAD, and evil, the root of broken families, and we are all lesbians and man-hating creatures, just wanting your wallet. So, my childhood was not really great. Suzette, I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. If your a guy, avoid marriage like it was the black plague. Delagray, i wouldv had the perfect comeback for her. Thanks for the comment you've posted. I underwent a similar transformation in my late 20s as well.
Men don't have endless resources for game-playing. They see guys being successful at wooing women with Skittles, so they woo women with Skittles. Women have become desperate, therefore tainted the dating pool.
It's good to know there are guys out there still waiting on a good woman and willing to truly love her. I'm laughing at some of what you said, but you certainly have some golden nuggets in here. Yes, women have a bad habit myself included of trying to turn a man into what we want. None of us are perfect, we just have to hook up with someone whose faults we can live with it and find someone who can live with our's.
We can't turn back the clock, you're right about that. And honestly, we shouldn't want to but it's difficult watching things change so drastically. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts! Most of us guys don't want to be fixed, molded nor changed. I hear it from female friends, family members and coworkers. That is a huge problem for us guys! I would think that any woman wouldn't appreciate it if every guy was pushing openly or softly to change?
I can hear the yelling now and see the eye stare burning into any guy that would go there. Yet women routinely will do this to guys. No one should like to have someone tell them how to be, what to eat, wear, etc.
That's wrong on a human level. As for buying a woman a drink, that's up to the individual guy. I stopped that long ago. Many women expect it and don't appreciate it but will get frustrated when it is not automatically given. Most of us guys are not women haters anymore than I think most women are not men haters. Social norms have changed. Women wore dresses that covered them from neck to toes. It was not-womanly to show ankles nor legs.
Thankfully we have progressed. Women's place was in the home, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the men when they got home from work. Do we want to go back to that? I can hear my mother, sister and females everywhere cursing and ready to fight not to go back to that! In our current day society, most everyone has to produce an income on their own. Single, married, living together.
One income is not even close to live off of unless you're ok being either homeless or one paycheck away from homeless. Women and men can perform any job that is available. Doctor, fire person, police, construction, engineer, politician, CEO, sales leader. Any job, any career opportunities are able to be performed by both genders. Some tasks may be performed better by one or the other. A guy working a physical job such as carrying office furniture may be able to carry more weight but there are hand trucks, wheeled pallets to help as well.
Feminism is what it is. Both positive and negative. The economics of many western countries is what it is. Also both positive and negative. We can not turn back time. Men nor Women can cherry pick what they want to keep and what the want to bring back in today's time. We keep trying, hoping, praying, blogging but it can't be done or it would have been by now. Take care of yourself. Help to take care of your family members. Each of us can have a fulfilling live if we could focus on less and put more of our energies in a few priorities.
It is sad that many women are as you've described. But I believe that there are plenty of good ones out there too. You just have to know where to find them. It is very unfortunate that the women of today have really changed for the worst of all too since they certainly have no respect for many of us good men these days at all.
Very troubled women nowadays that are everywhere now with a rotten personality to go along with it. Very difficult for many of us men trying to start a conversation with a woman that we would really like to meet since most of these women are so very extremely dangerous nowadays.
And there are many of us good men that would really know how to treat a good woman with a lot of love and respect which they just don't give us men a chance at all which very much explains why many of us men are still single today.
Women are quite different today from the past since most of the women years ago were the very complete opposite of what these women are today since most of them now are just so very horrible to meet now altogether. I am very shocked how the women of today really are now especially with all of these reality TV shows that they have on as well as social media that has really corrupted many of the women of today since it is all about them now as well unfortunately.
It is very obvious to me that many of us men are just too good for these type of women anyway since many of us men have been hurt very badly already at one time having our wife cheating on us.
And many of us men were the very faithful ones from the very beginning to the very end when we were married at one time. I am so serious when I ask this question: I know there are some bad choices for women, as well as there are for men. I realize that I am from a much earlier generation but even the younger women that I know, just don't behave in this manner.
But you mention these women as if that is all you're finding out there. That is startling to me. I seriously hope you answer the question. BTW, thanks for the comment. Thank you for your comment. I hope it's not lost in the heaping pile of the other comments. Your tone and words is greatly appreciated. Most of the men posting here consider themselves good, polite men, but at the same time consider interacting with women a business transaction.
So your goodness is merely a mask to your desire to get a 'good deal' basically using a woman. Humans use tools to achieve an end. Men expect women to be tools, like hammers. We are warm, loving, and passionate and loyal to a man that we can get behind. A relationship is a type of SHIP. It's a team effort to achieve a shared vision of life.
It's more than the tit for tat that people see in today's expectations. Feminism is not same great evil that is receiving its comeuppances. Women enjoying themselves and basking in freedoms that their grandmothers never conceived of is not the end of humanity. Also under the impression that 'evil women' is just another vague 'they' accusation. There might be changes underfoot in dating, successful women might be choosy, individual nice guys might experience rejection that they don't underweand- but 'they' or evil women are probably not the sole cause.
As individuals, we are each the authors of our own reality. For all of us who failed to secure a faithful partner or even a fulfilling dating, we just have to accept responsibility for our state.
Nobody else is to blame. I'm not sure I understand what you mean by, what do women do in dating. Do you mean what is our responsibility on the date? If that is, in fact, what you mean, equally, it's both the man and woman's responsibility to get to know the other person while on the date. Are you asking what is it that she takes the lead on? If so, men in my opinion and how I was taught and raised are supposed to lead. Again, not sure if I understand your question. It has a lot to do with the singles scene rhetoric entering the mainstream through social media, online dating and mainstream media, its the small market of singles scene desperation dating gone mainstream carried by false promises of sex they don't have to pay for and affection they don't have to put their neck on the line to get.
People outside of it laugh at men who do it as losers and sneer at women who put up with it as being desperate, the men do it to see just how much they can get for nothing because they have hang ups about women. This sort of behaviour has been going on for a long time with low quality men who try to argue their position at the expense of results and becoming alienated, they set themselves up in a viscous cycle of rejection, low investment, rejection, which they then blame women for, you don't see well adjusted men around that scene nor do they need to go there, they have too much self esteem to get involved.
For the rest of us we have fewer dates but we have quality dates with excellent people, the singles scene crowd is just irritating background noise and fodder for lunch chats. Since women now can work not that they get paid as much as men do and are the ones who have to give up at least some of their work life if not career to have children men should be raising the courtship bar not lowering it, women bring more to the table now than ever before, the only men who complain about that are misogynists who see womens only purpose as to serve them.
A lot of men who engage in it are un or under employed, have poor social skills, are unattractive physically and mentally and have a dog eat dog mentality, it only looks like there are a lot of them for the same reason it looks like there are more married men seeking flings than single men looking for a date, low investment equals low risk, they ask a lot of women because they figure they have nothing to loose, what it willget them is a merry go round of shallow interactions and failures, no one is invested in a man who invests nothing of himself.
Thanks for the comment you've posted. I cannot argue with your point. I remember after I went through my divorce many years ago , I thought to myself frequently about getting married again that I wanted a husband but I didn't want to be a wife. I wanted the benefits of marriage but not the responsibility; and I know a lot of women who have never been married who think that same way.
Marriage was not what you were directly referring to, but the same thought process is present when thinking about dating and relationships where a lot of women are concerned. Men and women alike want benefits without responsibility when ultimately we should be interested in finding someone who truly loves us and who we can truly love. I don't have a problem doing any of those things but because I believe men should lead, I would not initiate any of that.
Someone who just plays video games. I just don't care because I'm having far too much fun enjoying everything in my life to even imagine the thought of sharing it with someone else, and besides the media doesn't do women justice with the amount of shit they do to make men fear like they have to sacrifice their own enjoyment just to make you feel happy, we're not into you because you cannot do the same for us.
You said this above "just as blacks cannot be racist according to its true definition. Women do not hold the power, so I'm not sure if we can, in turn, be sexist. It sounds like you're saying blacks and women cannot be racist in America but they can be prejudiced? I assume you believe it would be wrong to hate me for the sole reason that I am a man?
It seems you're making a very semantic based argument--as most if not all dictionaries define racism the way I defined it..
It would be more clear going forward when you mention "blacks cannot be racist" to explain that they still can be prejudiced and tell your readers that you aren't using a dictionary definition rather your using the definition of some professor that you once knew.
Yes, hating someone based on his or her race is wrong. That is called being prejudice, as in prejudging them before having a pure reason to dislike or hate him or her. The examples you used are examples of being prejudice. If you are walking down the street and hate a black person purely on his race, you may be joining into a racist culture that already exist, making you a racist if you are indeed apart of the majority group.
Racism is about controlling a particular race of people. Minorities of any group do not have the power or resources to practice racism over another group who happened to be the majority. For the love of God and all that is Holy, can we please get back to the subject of this article? Are you not racist for hating a white person walking down the street in the US cuz they are white? We don't really need a professor here they are fairly basic questions that we both should easily agree on.
We don't need to get into a semantic argument so if you want to define "racism" as meaning something else then do you agree it's wrong to do these things? I will focus on the article but I found your opinions to be disturbing with regards to race.
Racism is about groups, not individuals. You have your frame of reference, so realize that I have mine. Now, take your white self over to practically any country in the African continent, and they will have the ability to practice racism against you. Also a little disrespectful of the author to refer to someone as their "white self.
We're getting to a very dangerous point in society if people believe Elaine's definition of racism and are glad to promulgate this lie. Racism is based on race not power.
Racism is hating another race for being another race. It's perfectly fine to hate your boss if he tells you to buy him a coffee and your job is an investment banker. It's not okay to hate someone because they are white and are walking down the street minding their own business.
They may even be poorer than you! They may have a worse life than you. I am not sure how Elaine says this "white" person can exercise power over a black person. I certainly have no power to tell Lebron James to give me all his money or Kanye or any richer black person I know. I wish I had this amazing power she speaks of.
You and I are in the same age bracket so I certainly hear where you're coming from. There are some silly women out there with check lists and aren't interested in finding a true connection. Yes, things have changed and men are no longer falling for the trap some women have set for the unsuspecting man. I do, however, believe that when two people who are meant to be together, the things on this list I've created won't matter one bit.
You sound like a great man and I hope you have or will find a great woman. If not, sounds like you're doing just fine! And, angry enough to call me insane? You may need to do some self-evaluation. Try researching the true meaning of racism not being prejudice, which is different and get some answers for yourself.
This is not an article about race or religious persecution. Calm the hell down! I can't believe what I've just read! I think you need to get over yourself, you women wanted equality but expect us to do everything. Times have changed how about you women do some of the things you have mentioned in your little rant. Yes, we use to offer to buy women drinks in bars. Unfortunately, we have spent many evenings buying drinks just to be told at the end of the evening, that the woman is not interested in us.
That's fine, but why say that after the six or seventh drink? That's what we are sick and tired of. When women can go the bar and spend all evening drinking for free, at our expense, there is a problem with the system. I'm not even going to mention the idea that if she is interested, the drinks shouldn't be the deciding factor. Chivalry IS officially dead. While the following is an extreme example, it is a real example from about five years ago. I was waiting for an elevator.
Two women approached and were also waiting, slightly behind me. The elevator arrived and the door opened. They walked into the elevator. Once I had entered, one looked at me and say "We are women, not ladies. The reality is that we are not as dumb as we are portrayed in the media. I was raised to be kind and chivalrous.
Now, my chivalry is only practiced for people that seem to be my age I'm 50ish or older. Those seem to be the generations that still appreciate it. I am so tired of not being good enough because I am not six feet tall. If 5' 10" isn't good enough, then I'm out. I have a great job that I love, I can't remember a time that I was unemployed. I try very hard to be kind and cheerful.
I have a pension plan at work. I try to help the less fortunate. I have to be six feet tall too? Let's look at the sliding scale here for a moment. One date is a couple of days of planning. Now lets assume for a moment that I want to look presentable, so I may do some dry cleaning and a car wash before I pick her up.
And all of this is so that I can find out if she is interested? Do you remember the old saying that goes "just because you bought me dinner, that doesn't mean that I owe you anything? But, how about this "just because I think you are interesting, doesn't mean that I owe you anything.
If the interest isn't mutual, I'll save my two hundred dollars. So, I'm afraid that I am exactly one of the men that your article discusses. But, I'm a bit worse because I no longer ask women out at all. I am independent, self-sufficient and intelligent. Why would I put myself through all of that? Why are the comments dated "2 years ago," when the article is less than a year old as I read this??
It's simple; the men that don't even date are wising up and they see how the dating scene is rigged and one sided. In this age of "equality", third wave feminism spews all kinds of garbage like how men just need to "man up" and deal with it and take this and that.
It's already happening with the teaching of MGTOW, Men Going Their Own Way and it's the most logical philosophy for men who care about protecting themselves against broken custody courts and greedy, spiteful women. I happily dine out alone at the nicest places and my tab isn't double and it's just wonderful. I see dudes on dates and think to myself, glad I'm not you.
MGTOW is the solution and it's dangerous for women but this is what they get. This is what happens when generations of women are indoctrinated and taught that they are superior and entitled princesses.
Wise men will take heed, the blind will learn the hard way. This is a true point by Jack, and it is unclear why Elaine feels the need to be condescending to Jack as if him being a PUA disqualifies his opinion. I have a good friend who is a girl. A guy and her dated for a month. He did everything for her. Her phone broke down so he came over at 1 AM to ensure she woke up the next night on time.
He was there all the time. He ended up breaking up with her when she kept saying you need to do more for me. I am special etc. She had been spoiled by other dudes who had bought her lots and lots of presents. And him buying her food, drinks wasn't enough for her.
She needed even more. Anyways, they break up. And now she again wants to date him and is still super interested with essentially no commitment. Now, it's non exclusive far more on his terms--if he chooses to continue. The issue is girls often push guys away when they are being nice. It's a human trait. Such as when your company gives you 15 days of vacation you want If they give you 30 you want Men have learned to not give women metaphorically, 30 days vacation for her to push for If you give her 1 day of vacation again metaphorically she might even respect you more.
It's a tricky dating environment for men and women. Just like a person eating steak for a week at a rich family relatives house may raise his standards forever. Her standards are often unrealistic. But, it's not just women it's also men. So everything is a perfect storm for an awful dating environment all around. Succinctly put, keeping investment low as Jack said tends to be the more correct choice of action. There may be random exceptions but as a rule of thumb he isn't wrong.
I'm not sure how I got to this site. Some random bit of click bait I imagine. I thought I'd throw in my two cents. I've been a pickup artist most of my life. I can tell you flat out that if you exhibit any of the behaviors on this list with modern American women under the age of 40 you will fail and fail hard. The first rule of the PUA is 'don't listen to a word a woman says. Watch her actions instead. Those rules are ironclad. Don't break them ever. Again, blacks in America can be prejudice but they do not have any overall power as a group, therefore they cannot execute any type of racism against whites if we're using the actual definition of the word.
I'm not going to post again. It doesn't make sense for the two of us to do that when we strongly disagree with one another, especially when you aren't being honest here.. Though, I think the conclusion from all of this should be that Elaine says black people can't be racist. That's perhaps more astonishing than all the other crap she wrote. Perhaps your younger girl friends are suffering this fate due to all the meams of girls trying to get guys to buy them pizza on apps like tinder etc.
Whether or not you like being spoiled. I can't blame men for not wanting to be taken advantage of. A few bad apples always ruin the batch. You are absolutely right and I know plenty of women who do just that. But that wasn't the point of the article: I never said I was entitled to receive any of these ten things, although I do my younger girlfriends are the ones mostly suffering this fate.
The article is simply about things that men once did that they no longer do. However, you and I may not agree on the reasons why that is the case. Yes, the US is so backward compared to Scotland and England. I'm not going to reference other websites but if you were to do a quick search there are many economic studies of women in their 20s make more then men. I see you deflected my clear example of racism. You can continue to believe the racism isn't about race but power. You're right the topic isn't about that but a little disheartening to see you trivialize the evils of hating another race for looking different than you.
But of course you couldn't be racist right? Because whites make more money than black people on average therefore there hatred is just fine. I will say at least you're consistent Elaine. If you do believe in putting your career secondary then your ideas are great. Unfortunately, most of your readers want it all. They want their man to treat them like a queen and they want to also ensure that they have the same pursuits as a man.
So essentially, they want all the positive of being a traditional woman and non of the negatives. This isn't you and thanks for the discussion. First, racism is when one group with power denies equal rights to another group without power. Over the years, this definition has been watered down and is frequently confused with prejudice, which is what you've described. But that's not even what we're here to discuss. Lastly, if I'm a sexist, then so be it.
I like clear defined roles and I would not have a problem with my husband's career coming first. And, it's a man's world whether you want to admit it or not. Not sure, why you're attributing anger to me perhaps it's your own anger you're misplacing on me not sure. On racism, yes by true definition you can be racist if you don't like white people, Elaine. Walk around you're office shooting black power and kick white people and let me know if you're not being a racist for doing it. Onto your last point, yes if someone is interested they shouldn't be treated like crap but above you had a list of demands youre owed for being a woman.
You tempered your demands in your last post that the man should be interested. But being interested doesn't mean he showers you with gifts. Again if that's what it takes to make you interested then who would want to be with you? If you don't know what a diva is then that is the definition. Someone who needs to be showered with gifts to be happy in a relationship. Again it would be pretty sexist for me to say I need a woman who cook and cleans, puts her career secondary to mine, never goes out of the house without my approval.
I am merely pointing out the latent sexism in your posts. And yes you can be sexist. And where's this idea that women don't have power. They are the leaders in Germany, Scotland ,UK, they make more then men in their 20s, they vote more then men. Not sure you're making yourself look very educated here Elaine by spouting mistruths.
You've called me arrogant, I'm not. You say I think I'm special, I am! And every woman should think that she is special. If she doesn't, then she'll start accepting being treated poorly. You've called me a diva, I'm not sure what your definition is so I'll let that go. If a man has asked me out on a date, I would assume that he will put forth the effort of showing me that he's interested in me.
And that's all I think I'm owed at that point. And he, in turn, should have expectations of his own being treated with respect, etc. It's really pretty simple. Thanks for your response. I'm sure that different times have called for things being done differently. I understand that you may have not read everything in the article or the many responses but I have admitted that I believe in specific gender roles.
And if a woman can be a sexist, then you can ascribe that to me. I say if, because I'm really not sure; just as blacks cannot be racist according to its true definition. At any rate, I move on. Your "assumption" of me believing in equality between the sexes, is also incorrect. I believe in equal rights as human beings but in the work place, there are certain jobs and activities that men do better and vice versa.
I'm not sure who you're calling a moron but how about we not call names and such. You're entitled to your opinion and there's no reason for any of us to be indignant as we discuss this. See of remaining comments. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages and Hubbers authors may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
Here is a countdown of things men don't bother with anymore: I've been trying to meet a decent guy for 4 years now since becoming a widow in Honestly I was quite surprised when I realized how difficult this would be. So my plan is to stay single for a long , long time. I don't get this one at all. Elaine, Down in the thread you denied that women can be sexist just as blacks cannot be racists. Here is the REAL definition of racist: Why is this so hard for a woman's brain to understand?
Jamie, You are the biggest mangina in this thread. Believe me, once we get you, we will have our own work to put in. Elaine Flowers, They don't make the type of man you are describing anymore. It's called old school with class, such as High quality; admirable style; cachet I would go back with you but we can't so we just have to make the best with the present and then who knows what future brings? I'm pretty sure I would. Good Lord, you are needy af. Would you even date someone like you?
Mar, I'm sorry that's how you feel. Jack, This is an interesting perspective so thanks for sharing it. Hey Steve, Here's my very humble opinion: Elaine, Hmm, waiting to be asked out again or do it myself? Forgot to mention I'm in the UK. Siv Ingrid, Its certainly not all or nothing.
Ive always liked buying gifts for my boyfriends. Things dont have to be expensive or one sided. Thanks for the comment, Steve! Paul, I believe what you're saying, but it's so hard. Siv Ingrid, You certainly make several good points. I am all about showing effort, it does not have to be extravagant. Is it not give and take? As to bringing a flower or whatever, he says ha, ha forget it. I think ladies that due to some they have ruined it for most of us. Thanks so much for your comment, Nina!
Catrina, this stuff is part of the reason I am single so much. Dear JCN, Thank you so much for your post. This is translated into letting women open their own doors, walk where they want to on the sidewalk those who know old-time chivalry will get that one , and the '"who needs to worry about a date?
I know I'm treading on thin ice here, and I apologize if my comments have offended any women out there! From what I've seen, you guys are much superior to us guys intellectually, anyway!
I wish so many women wouldn't confuse guys being gentleman with them "treating them differently" I personally love it when guys open doors for me and all that cute stuff! Well you also have to look at the psycho-social implications of "asking a girl out" vs.
In today's culture girls play a lot more complicated games with guys. You can't ask a girl on a "date" and call it that to her face, not unless you are really confident she will say yes otherwise it can come off as way too strong.
Not to mention it adds more pressure during the date. Gone are the times where you court a girl formally. With the rise of feminism to it's current levels we men are forced to "give the girls options" by asking them to hang out, giving them the opportunity to say "I'm busy" instead of a simple no thank you allowing them to save face.
Not to mention for some reason the lingo has changed back when I was growing up a relationship was serious and dating was casual. Yet ask some couples today who have been together for a year and they will tell you they are "dating" and not "in a relationship. I used to ask girls out on dates, and either get rejected or if the girl didn't want to go on another one she would become the busiest person I know.
Yet if you are just hanging out, it's more acceptable to be "busy" all the time. Basically it has made it easier for both genders to get out of it while being extremely non-confrontational or direct about the situation. This has become very prevailing in America lately.
What do you consider a "real" date? Is there a monetary limit? Do you actually logically go through your mind and say "ok if he spends more than bucks on me tonight, its officially a date. Is it that he just verbally says "hanging out? Women do this same stuff whenever they get involved sexually. Its a less invasive, less formal, less pressured, way of saying "id like to spend time with you. It seems to me that there's a danger of overdoing things. Unless we are talking about dating within an established relationship, a guy puts himself in danger of coming on too strongly.
When I was younger I tried the approach of putting together a full date, bringing flowers, being that type of guy. I think the difference comes down to this: Most guys have been in that spot with some girl, tried the full-on Gatsby approach, and been rejected.
And being rejected when you truly tried your best is way worse than when you didn't. The thing is when considering dating and what guys should do, women often think about what the hot, attractive guy should do, forgetting the others who did do that but lacked the right I don't know whatever you women look for and refer to as "confidence.
I am thinking in terms of simple dates. It would necessarily extend to guys who hang and just want to be FWB. But I do have a sense of discomfort with the idea of dressing my best, going to a pricey restaurant, bringing flowers, and then whatever other awesome activity. Would I like it to be that way?
Sure, but I've learned that's a great plan to avoid using cell phone minutes. Well, I'm not even talking about the whole shebang with flowers and dressing nice and a pricey restaurant. I just mean guys actually asking "would you like to go out with me? Dinner but not an extremely pricey one, movie, etc. Oh, then it's too minimalistic for me to understand either.
I still go on regular dates and figured most other guys do too. Because girls play games, has been my experience when I asked out a girl, it was always one excuse or another so basically I myself gave up not much desire to date or ask out girl at all really, I did it when I was younger and stupid.
Ha ha ha When you are presented with lies and games, and being jerked around that really tends to turn someone off big time at least for me that's the case, pretty much have had all bad experiences so huge turn off but then again I don't think I am like most guys in a lot of respects not just with dating or asking a girl out or rather not asking.
If she says yes, no huge receipt by her so no pressure to put out. If she says yes, but doesn't want to hang again, or is interested in friend zone hanging then he doesn't feel he overdid it to start something nice, but perhaps not what he hoped for with her. The expectation that a lavish date should be sexually reciprocated gets in the way of older friend relationships where there is a difference of economic power. For example I'd like to treat some of my less well off platonic girl friends to gig tickets, separate room weekends away etc simply because it is more fun to do some things in company than alone.
In my experience it is because women don't appreciate it anymore. I guess romantic dates are just what is expected of men, so going on a romantic date is seen as average. Most of the women I have dated seem to resent me for doing anything chivalrous, so I stopped being chivalrous. Doesn't help that my success ratio for asking on dates and actually going on the date is 1: So for the most part it isn't worth the effort, unless its somewhat of a sure thing.
There is also a lot of fear of being seen as creepy, "planning everything out and making it cute" is a large investment of resources and comes across as overdoing it. Looking back I think half of my dates haven't been worth the resources I put into them. Say it was nice to meet you and go home or do you stick it out? On a side note: I don't think you should go on a "date" if that isn't something you are going to do if the relationship goes somewhere. I asked the crush of my life to a concert, and then slowed it down to a movie.
It just is bad because most guys myself included feel OK look I want to take you to this concert. Some girls like various music yet when I get shot down in favor of some guy who drinks, smokes or is just a machistic idiot it makes me feel like why should I even bother? Or I ask and she say's yes but doesn't call me up afterwards to say hey whatever happened to that concert or movie you wanted to take me to?
It's like look if you don't like me just say no. Don't play with my emotions. Ok I look at it in 2 ways and now this is me being honest. Women go on a date and want to be treated special and they want the man to pick up the tab. Men go out on a date because he is atttracted to the woman and wants to have sex with her. I stopped going out on dates in and I do not miss it.
Now for companionship men hang out with their friends, get involved in recreational activities, some will hire escorts to have their sexual needs met. Then women will ask they would prefer to have sex with an escort than go on a date with a woman. The answer is yes. The truth is dating is not a good situation where it will develop into a long term relationship. This is what I and other men have figured out so why bother. As far as the woman wanting to feel special, let some other guy to do that but not me.
Well the reason I usually will just arrange a simple coffee date or something like that is that if she doesn't show up or plans on cancelling like pretty much all the girls I try to date do, at least I won't have wasted a bunch of time money and effort.
The other thing is I'm finding is that if I do try and setup an extravagant date, most won't feel comfortable doing that with a guy she hasn't met before. Like for example, I'd love to setup a nice old fashioned picnic in the park somewhere and watch the sunset, but she's not going to want to do that cause she's in a park with a random guy and it's dark outside. Or I'd love to take a girl out on my jetski, but she's not comfortable doing that with a stranger either, which is why I keep it simple.
Believe me, I really don't want to go and get coffee or go bowling either, that's boring. A coffee date usually my preference for first dates. It's great for talking and getting to know each other without being ridiculously expensive. It also shows that you're at least making some kind of effort to pursue the girl without over doing it. I would actually love to have a coffee date or even just meeting at a bar and grabbing drinks.
I had a long post planned, but I decided to simplify it. I used to be that chivalrous guy brought up that way by my entire conservative family all my life. I was mocked and made fun of that entire time. And needless to say, never had any decent relationships where I wasn't taken advantage of in some capacity.
Then I was shown the Brietbart article on the Sexodus and then Dr. It all made sense that for "nice guys", dating is toxic in todays society. Not only toxic, but downright detrimental and pointless. This may not be the big, philosophical, all-encompassing answer one might be satisfied with. And I can't speak for all men, only myself. I can only assume that if articles, books, and speeches have been made from noted professionals, then it would be reasonable to deduce others have made that conclusion as well.
For myself being that "nice guy", "white knight", etc. Its crawling on a path of metal shards. And with more and more women filing for divorce, alimony and child support against men reaching Draconian levels, and an overall sense of misandry in society today? I can't see the benefits of a relationship. The nice guys are still being raised and they are still out there.
But women just dont want them and society overall finds them to easy to target for ridicule. Most of them are just asking, Why bother? Why can I like this question only once D Okay, here's the answer: I gave up on asking girls out, because I'm sick of getting told lame and I mean LAME excuses just because you "don't wanna hurt" the guy. Would you like that actually? I don't think so. And I'm no female.
Imsges: guys not dating anymore
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I have no problem admitting that there is something wrong with the dating world.
Kevin, you are so right!!! I have great self esteem and faith in my abilities and unique gifts as I want all of my fellow ladies to have. I hope it's not lost in the heaping pile guys not dating anymore the other comments. But that wasn't the really free dating websites guys not dating anymore the article: I was in line to the toilet when out of the ladies room stepped a bridesmaid wedding happening nearbyand I realised my default of disregarding women was actually not neutral but ill-mannered. About seven years ago I was right there at the front of the pack denouncing how the media was portraying men as powerless buffoons.
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