Wife dancing with another guy???
I am in 7th grade and i am in my first relationship. June 25, at 5: Have I been too nice and too focused on our financial security? I wanna break upp with him but im his first gf he sortof acts like all we r is friends and he doesnt seem to reslly care plus im sortof getting a crush on someone else. January 12, at
1. He’s Not Around You And Makes No Effort To Be Around You
My bf has just ended his first year of college and it has been kind of crazii. Tell her you're nervous and a bit embarassed, but that since she loves to dance, you want her to love to dance with you. Hi Kate, Dont know how I stumbled on this website but I feel like you. January 11, at 6: His wife should not be going out this much if they have kids! Ive had a bad experience meeting someone online about a year agomet the wrong guy basically. Lois Daniels August 10, , 7:
I say, break up. Unfortunately, I have no advice as to how. I tryed it, he had an awesome personality, was funny, but he wasnt my type physically. But i figured ill give it a shot. I have a dilemma. My bf and I have been thru a lot but he has always been the one with the strongest feelings for the other. Because it is long distance, it is impossible for me to do this in person.
He is devoted and dedicated to me and it is almost bordering on obsessive. I have never been good at breakups but this one is particularly difficult. I fear for his mental state. He is young and I know that he can survive this but he is so into me that I worry what his reaction would be.
Any advice would be awesome. Him and I usually talk through email. I truly love him and i think i always will because he was my first love, but im not the same little girl i was at the end of freshman year when we started dating. If he is your best friend then stay with him. If you break up with him I can guarantee he will not stay your best friend. It will be too painful and it will get weird as soon as you or him show interest in someone else. Also, when you hangout with an ex there is no going back to the beginning of the friendship when you just had fun and enjoyed hanging out together.
Saying I love you, having sex and being emotionally intimate with someone changes the relationship so much so that there is no reverting back to how things used to be. That being said you need to try to make things more exciting with him. Just the act of making a conscience effort to try new things, respond to situation differently, and to e more open and honest can work wonders on a relationship.
Another thing to think on might be, personal space needs and possible dependency issues. Anyway, hope I helped. Hey, I was wondering if you could give me some advice? XD my boyfriend and I have been together for five and a half months. I adore this boy and he is my best friend. I can tell him everything and when we get intimate I love it. But I also feel bad afterwards. About a week after our four month mark he broke up with me due to familial problems and we quickly got back together after three days.
I felt a little depressed leading up to the brekup and the breakup made me more so. Woman up and end it. Same thing is going in with me and my bf jack. Every one hates him and now I am starting to see why. He is one year older than me but way to immature at times. I wish he would just act his own age sometimes. Some one help us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anybody got any ideas? Because this is my first break and I really like the guy.
I would appreciate them all. To all you ladies having a rough time.. Im in the same spot.. I think the hardest part is knowing your going to be alone after.. I probably sound like a hipocrite because I as many have not been able to break up with my boyfriend and have been dragging it out. But at the end of the day you need to do whats best for you.
Good Luck to everyone who is having a difficult time. Wow this post brought a tear to my eye.. You really hit the nail on the head when you said the hardest part is knowing that you are going to be alone after. That is my biggest fear right now. Seems it took me so long to find a guy who actually commited to us, and is soooo good to me, TOO good to me.
He puts me on this pedestal that I just cant live up to. I guess the problem is, that he is younger than me, and Im too old to settle at this point in my life. He is sweet and loving, but offers no security. He has no goals, no ambition.
Not to mention he is quite a downer, constantly complaining about everything, and very anti social! He is co-dependent and clingy. As much as Im trying to understand what people mean when they say they love someone, but are not IN love with them. I fear I may be in this situation. There are deep underlying factors, that keep rearing their ugly head in our relationship. Sometimes I feel they are petty issues that I need to accept, yet when I burry them with that excuse, they just fester and become more intollerable when they arise again.
I know Im gonna end up ripping his heart out of his chest when I leave him. His friends will say I told you so, his mom will say good riddens. I just dont know how much longer I can go on, keeping him happy, but being semi-miserable myself. Would just litteraly disapearing, say moving out and to another town with only a written good bye letter left for him, be so wrong?
I know him to know well enough that a face to face break up will be armageddon. He is gonna cry, beg, plea, want to know why, and how he can be better….. I know i have to do it eventually, but it is so hard to….
You need to tell him the truth as soon as you can! Try and do it gently. I lost my feelings for him over two weeks ago. He used to make me weak t the knees….
HELP if you can. My boyfriend has given me no reason to dump him, yet I just feel like I should. I think the best thing to do is just explain to him exactly how you feel and then let him do with the information what he wants, and then let him know if you want to be friends with him that you still want to be friends. I hope this helps out a little bit! The best of luck to you! I want to break up with someone……. How do I do it? Just do it real quick… from personal experience, the more you drag it, teh lesser are your chances of remaining freinds after the break up.
That can damage his mind, leave him distracted on the job,.. Okay so im dating this guy named Mason and we used to be like really good friends and now were boyfriend and girlfriend. But now I dont really like him as much. So then I find out this guy named Samuel really really likes me and he goes to my school and stuff. And now I like Samuel more than my boyfriend. I dont want to hurt Masons feelings how should I break up with him help! Well in that case, you have to talk to Mason over this before moving on with Samuel..
I am 13 years old now, and my crush is 14, but will be 15 in August. I run Cross Country with him and have always felt this connection… anyways, I like him a lot. But he likes me sooooooooooo much. He asked me to a formal dance as friends — I said yes. He asked me out in the first slow dance song. Plus, I liked him at the time. I have two jealous friends, too, so that just puts drama into the mixture. I am new to this whole relationship thing, and no one has ever liked me this much.
Laura I was in the same situation you are in when i was your age, and let me tell you, its one of my biggest regret that I left my boyfriend for that longtime crush. As well as hurting my boyfriend-who looking back now I wish i stayed with. I hope this helps, and goodluck! Oh wow, it seems almost everyone is having the same problem as me. I still wanna be friends with my current boyfriend, but I feel that things would be too awkward.
And one of my close friends is neighbors with him, so that would make it even more awkward. I have friends who is in long distance relationship and some tried to break up over phone and some over Skype.
My boyfriend and I ave been dating for almost 7 months now and about a month ago i lost my romantic feelings towards him. My boyfriend and I were best friends with some major flirting for three years and he asked me out twice only to be denied…..
Finally, I decided to give it a shot and said yes the third time. Tell the guy how you feel about him being so clingy! I am sure he also has not only loved you for a couple months now also, probably for three years now!! Lots of girls have jerks for boyfriends… and you are so very fortunate!
My guy and I have been together for 2 years now we live together,share a cell phone plan,is the co-signer for the loan on my car and have been through his dad and cousin dying, me cheating on him once before and tons of other drama. Hollie, you have a son with this man, you need to concentrate on what is best for your son and put your feelings aside. Remember your ex is your ex for a reason, maybe try concentrating on the reasons you broke up with him. Otherwise you need to support yourself, get your own place and then you can start working on a new relationship.
Your son comes first! Okay, after reading all comments. I still dont know what to do! Everytime we fight, he says things which make me feel as if he is still viewing this relationship through the spectacles of his past relationship in which he was completely obsessed with his ex, but she cheated on him and so they broke up.
This is really making me feel miserable now. Am i just being overly sensitive? He moved 3 hours away from his hometown to be with me. I feel like im no longer in love with him. I miss my family being together and my ex husband is wanting me back too, so that makes it even more complicated. He broke up with me last summer and I thought I was gonna go crazy till I got him back. Any advice on how to break up with him? He is also unfaithful to me.
So, I have been dating this guy for about a month. Thanks for your consideration! The whole relationship has been a long distance one too. Find someone more like me personality wise.
I thought my bf was the one at first then it all faded.. Hi I have a boyfriend that just told me he loved me and kind of said in an indirect way that he wants to marry me and live the rest of his life with me.
It would not be fair to both of us if I just keep continuing the relationship. How do I break up with him in a nice way? What do I do? My boyfriend and I started dating 5 weeks ago. I was sucker enough, that he asked over the phone and I said yes.
He asked to speak to my male best fried, who acts like a big brother. Since my boyfriend never actually asked me on a date or helped me figure out when or where, my friend told him he needed to actually have a date. I kinda want to break up. She broke up with me…its been 5 weeks…I thought she was my soul mate.
Now she ignores me. It is very painful. I really loved her. I feel like someone died. I have so much I want to say, but she will not let me because she is doing no contact. I sent emails, texts, letters, gifts, and I get nothing in response. I know she had feelings for me before. She is denying me a chance to have any dialogue to fix things. I still miss her and love her…. You need to let her go. You say she is denying you the chance to have any dialogue to fix things.
Obviously because there is nothing in her mind, left to fix. You should be thankful she is not stringing you along! Go out and meet someone else, It will help you get over her. Also the more you pester her, the more she is going to resent you. If you give her time to heal from the relationship, then pop back in a year down the road. Your chances of getting a reply from her are much better! By the time I get any response to this comment, I will probably have already broken up with my boyfriend.
Still, I want to let out steam somewhere anonymously. I have very little experience in dating. For a while, last year, I felt very lonely and wanting a relationship badly, and was very vocal about it to my friends. Months later, that desire was mostly gone, I was fine with being single; but I figured if anyone asked me out, I MUST say yes, just to get more dating experience and have more of a social life.
Bob and I have lots in common, and we hit it off quickly and began dating. When we do hang out, I enjoy talking to him. I like skinny guys with the kind of eyes that Bob has. Many young people in their 20s, like Bob and I, are in that same situation. Most of my best friends are. I like Bob as a person and will do anything to keep him from being hurt. But dating him is creating a volcano of anxiety and paranoia for me. I need to date someone who is in the same boat as I am.
I have never broken up with anyone before, and I have no idea how to do it nicely. The best I can think of is to just hang out with him when he asks next time, and just break up with him then. I have a relative with emotional problems, who must always be told things in a special way filled with half truths.
Ive been going out wiith a guy for four months now, and I recenntly reaalized how immature he was. What should I say to him? Im 16 and he is my first bf and I feel like we moved way too fast.
We said I love you by one month and were sexually active by the second. And he lies all the time to make himself look cooler. Seriously you would have to be 4 years old to believe his lies. I feel completely trapped. Treat yourself to some personal time, go shopping, hang out with friends, catch a movie, go to a spa or something of the kind. Try to stay away from Facebook or your phone or anything like that so that you can just have a break, and when you come back from this break start over.
Its weird to think that i know exactly what your going through, my boyfriend and i have been dating for over 10 months. This is my third boyfriend. The first one was a sweet heart and he broke it off after 10 and a half months.
The next guy, he broke it off after two months, because he thought we were more friends and he also suffered from depression. And then for Prom, i was going to spend the night at his house and he wanted to cuddle on their couch. He gets really obsessive, and is very clinging. Then later when i called him to say goodnight, he started telling me he had nothing to live for other than me. The only thing is, i know i would never have the guts to do it.
What scares me, is that if i do end this, will i be the extra push to killing himself? That sounds quite serious. I myself am in senior year here in Australia and am having a similar sorta situation but, this guy……. Sorry back to your problem.
Have you tried talking to your parents, if not your parents, what about his? You should let someone know, soon if you can. I know it must be frightening to have to hear him say things like that but often times it is just a sign that you need to bring someone else in on the situation. I really hope this all works out for you, good luck. I feel like such a bitch after reading this. I broke up with my last boyfriend through text. It backfired though, and he called me a slut on Facebook.
I will never break up with someone any other way than face-to-face again. But, try to move away from it, stay off FB for a while or just treat yourself to something nice: Go to a spa or do something nice with your friends,: I am a high school student, senior year which to me is enough stress , and I have never been in a relationship.
He was fine with that for a while but, I always felt like he was in it more than me. He said yes but it was then that I started to feel like this might end badly because he obviously wanted to be more than friends. The night came and it was all good but, just the way he kept looking at me and stuff all night made me feel uncomfortable.
Honestly I was a bit….. I have already replied to him, mainly just saying that I was sorry for taking such a long time to respond and stuff. He said he was sorry for the way he acted and apologized about some other stuff. I hope it can stay the way it is now but thank you for getting back to me: My girlfriend and I were together for about a year.
The relationship was long distance but we made it work, I would go down there to see her about once a month and she came up here one time as well.
Things were going really well and I thought that there was no possible way for us to break up. Is this selfish of me or is there another way that I can handle this situation? I still want to be with her but I feel like my feelings are stronger for her than hers are for me. Me and my friend were 2 opposite people he was a player and i was nice. Tell her straight up like a man. Yo i like you, im not cool with you dating other dudes and trying to hang out. Option 2 is invite her over your place be real cool, not into her, pour some drinks have your fun, and the next day plan a date, and wake up before her and leave her a note saying.
Or say sorry im not that kind of guy, i truly loved you and so i wont take advantage of you we cant be friends, its not fair to me or you. Please dont text unless you want something. Grow a pair and tell her were just about one thing now, so do what you gotta do babe you got my address come by if you wnat to have a good time.
Um no sorry to burst your bubble but girls would hate that. It annoys the crap out of most of us girls. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 7 months. But 2 months into the relationship he moved to another state.
How can I say it in a nce-ish way as to not hurt him too much? His parents are also getting a divorce. I am in almost the exact same situation as you.
Oh boys, what will we do about them? Also, Dave and josh are really close, and some days I feel like Dave and I are perfect for each other while other days I feel like there is just no spark whatsoever…. Dave constantly calls me and asks me to Skype, Oovoo and chat him every time I get the chance…. I also started liking my bfs best friend. My best advice to you would be to stay away from josh. This might cause a huge problem and you might lose both of them, or hurt them both.
Another thing, though I am unsure if this is true in your case, my boyfriend never truly loved me although he said he did and he was only really interested in how far we could go.
Again, this is just based on my experiences and it may be different for you, but I hoped my rambling helped. Im comfortable with them all. I understand completely my boyfriend wont let ne hang out with my friends and hes cussed them out a few times over stupid stuff and so everyone hates him.
I want to leave but hes had such a hard life and I feel so bad and he knows this and uses it against me. He made me cry kn graduation night by telling me my dress looked slutty and got pissed viz he couldnt stand next to me during the class picturr. I dont like him as much as i used to and we were great friends before. Recently ive gotten close to a boy that went to my primary school,we both liked eachother then,but nothing happened.
I know people have said that face to face is the best way to break up with someone,but honestly i couldnt look into his eyes and tell him its over,if i tried id end up putting it off and its just not fair on him if i continue in the relationship while loving someone else,ive read all the posts trying to write something that sounds like a good way to break up.
What should I tell him? It was really wonderful during the first year, up until he cheated on me, but thats a whole other kettle of fish. I told him I would try to make it work this one time and he has not to my knowledge done it since. He takes really great care of me, and has bent over backwords for me countless times, and loves me to pieces. However, ever since I agreed to stay with him I have always wondered if I could ever really get over it because I felt like it put a huge chasm between us.
But I thought maybe that feeling would go away after time. Although that feeling has somewhat weakened I still feel its there. I thought about breaking up with him some months ago but I.
And then shortly after that his mother passed and I basically became his only family, and I knew that there was no way I could have done it then. I feel so guilty because he is such a great boyfriend and we do get along so well. I just dont know what to do. I am pretty much in exact the same situation as you. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. The last 3 years have been great at times and a little crappy at times and the fact that he cheated has always been in the back of my mind even though I told him and myself that we could move on from it.
He treats me like a princess and is so great to me but my romantuc feelings towards hime have faded especcially over the last 6 months and now I am struggling with figuring out how I am going to leave him. His grandmother died earlier this year who he was really close with so that has made it extremely tough too. I find it really hard to hurt people so i have dragged it out for so long but I am getting to the point where I think my wellbeing is more important then the relationship.
Also I think I have outgrew him and have a need to be free and concentrate on my goals and future. I think I am going to get over my fear of hurting him and build up courage and do it next week. I will let you know what I said and how it went.
Remember darling, your happiness is more important then keeping him happy and 4 years in the scheme of your whole life is only a tiny little chunk. You will feel like a great weight has been lifted from you when you do it and even though it will be very hard and you may feel like shit for a while in the long run you will be happier and stronger and all round a better person.
It really struck a cord with me although she wasnt talking about me at the time. I think I just need to suck it up and just tell him how I feel. Im really writing this to just get it out of my system. Not trying to get any responses and i dont plan on ever comming back onto this site. I met Deon at the end of my freshman year. I got together with him and i was so enthused because i dont date.
He was my first actual boyfriend and I was the first girl he was faithful to. His past relationships were terrible and left him scarred. After a while, we had sex and i gave him my virginity.
I was so very in love with him. Through the next years, we went through very rough and very exciting times. My family was the least supportive of my relationship. I so desprately wanted to rebel against thier negativity so it made me stay with him longer. He got to meet Parker who has loved me since we were children. But he will always be there. A past flame, Tony, was still in my life too. We only stayed friends because we were a long distance apart.
But dont be mistaken, I am the AlphaBitch in his life. When I come around, I am the female that comes first, and I will let all the females know. Tony has met my bf too. My bf and I had a huge blowout last July but we loved eachother too much to leave one another.
But my heart wouldnt let me listen to my brain. My bf has just ended his first year of college and it has been kind of crazii. He was always out and I didnt get to talk to him much. I just realized that i didnt need to be on the phone with him all day long. My love for him had not faded or changed in any kind of way. But in January he just started trippin a little too hard for me to handle sometimes.
And with us barely speaking already, arguing just wasnt a positive impact. Well last year in December a friend of mine, Calton, who is so very sexy and mature, wanted so desperately to have sex with me but I have a bf and I dont get down like that. So now he is on this mission to prove that he doesnt just want sex. And i am willing to give him a chance to prove his intentions and the more my bf tripped, the more his chance grew.
My other friend I met last year in August really likes me but i dont like him at all. Since we all just graduated he said we should hang out. Big thanks to my friend Tyler. Well in February I met my friend Johanii. He had just gotten out of a bad relationship and i was still in mine. We got really close in the short amount of time we have known eachother.
I started to really like him because he wasnt after sex, i wanted to fix all the things that girl had done wrong to him and i was really attracted. We started hanging out and basically going on dates. He and I talked often about my relationship. He was actually supportive of it, telling me I should try and work things out. Made her get up and start cleaning right then. So of course the ride to school this morning was silent. She think she gone out petty me….. Then gone come in here bragging about it.
You think she was in there whispering and with Prince Akeem aka Ricky Bobby? But not to be outdone bout Investigations into Facebook profiles must be initiated by a complaint, Lovern said.
Investigators can then look for details on whether a person has been misleading about his or her lifestyle, Lovern said. Facebook devotes significant resources to evaluating requests for user information, and adheres to the letter of these laws when responding to requests for information. Robinson was served with an arrest warrant in February and failed to appear in court. If found guilty on all three counts, Robinson could be sentenced to a maximum of almost 11 years in prison.
I never in my whole life never? Naija starting Freaky Friday off by pimping you out early in the morning. LadieLeo apparently started Freaky Friday last night. Until proven otherwise, he is getting a mean mug from me from now on. I I liked her with the guy that played her love interrests Calivn more better than Theo though.
From US Weekly via Bossip: OH I liked them together. She is a very pretty woman that is a bad pic of her… that gap is a no no. Exactly how long does it take for the dopamine to fade? Good Morning Sandra Are we no longer doing real-face Fridays? Its been a minute. Everyone is different and every relationship is different Morning NakeyaH,A. Dud talk see how much Kevin Hartt wife got in the divorce?
Morning luvn, nakeya, sassy and all other fine folks[insert your name]…. I already told you before to put them bed straps in like Christopher had on Mommy Dearest.
Several attempts by ABCNews. She did ask me for permission to open our relationship just before that, and I had agreed, as I am in principle open to the idea. On the other hand, when I had asked, many years earlier, to open our relationship, she had reacted totally negatively to this idea, equating it to some form of perversion. However I had no idea she was already ready to jump into bed with someone, and especially at a time when I needed all the support I could get from her and she knew it.
During this time, I felt utterly miserable and alone and let down. She did later apologize for this whole debacle and for making me feel left out in the cold at such a difficult time. It has already had a big impact on my health I am sure. And perhaps my telling her that she is one half of our enterprise has made her feel that that she is entitled to repeatedly and frequently destroy my time and my mental peace. But the repeated episodes of irrational anger and tantrum throwing are very very difficult to live with.
Perhaps I just need to give it some time… I have dated quite a few women and I realize that all women have hormones and mood swings, to some extent, and all of us are just humans and give into irrational crap once in a while. Everyone can go through bad phases and it seems to me this is one such, and that things should get better. On top of that, she is now 32 and if we want to have kids we need to start trying soon.
But I am not sure if I want to have kids with her. Another fact is that she was repeatedly raped as a child when she was just 3! This is also the reason I think why our sex life has been very difficult. Anyway, I have written on for quite a long time… I am very confused. And yes she has threatened suicide several times, though never made an attempt, thank goodness. You have been the sole provider for the last decade.
It makes me feel good to give him a nice place to come home to at the end of the day. You uprooted yourself, your business and started a university program, taking on unnecessary stressors and not only is your wife not happy, she expresses her gratitude by telling you she wants to have an affair. PMS, an alleged abuse history, a sick father, boredom, confusion—these are all excuses and lame ones at that. Your wife is an adult, not a child. Furthermore, suicide threats are one of the most abusive things you can do to someone.
I encourage you to think long and hard about how you want to spend the next 10 years of your life and keep in mind that the longer you stay with this woman, the more of your assets she gets should you divorce. The courts will punish you for staying in your marriage. In my other post I told you about how my wife cried and told me nice things first time in 10 years when I was 2 hours away from signing a lease on my own place. I caved and moved back in with her…. She was convinced a week earlier that those two entities would gladly support her if I was out of the picture…….
She has no Job…. No savings…no prospects for a Job…. So much for you not doing enough to support her all these years mentioned in one of your comments on another post. They tell my child when she visits their daughters that if I loved her I would stay at home…and they have told me that if I was going to choose work, I should have been held down and forcibly sterilized.
Yes, this is in an affluent neighborhood in SC where wives of physicians actually, really, truly say this crap! I wonder what they would do if their husbands died or lost their jobs…or left their fat saggy asses for more appreciative, hard working women.
Yes, they complain that they take care of the kids, take them to school, cook a new dinner nightly, and all that…well, hell, so do I! And I stay fit, sexy, and full of zeal for my husband. Upon first reading this blog I was upset by your comments just as much as Kayla was, however as I kept reading I saw glimpses of me in the posts. I know that I blame my partner for impregnanting me twice and not taking the precautions I requested at the time, so now with five children I barely let him near me, and expect him to provide for me and my three children from my previous relationship in the way that I had become accustomed when I was working full time and a sole parent.
He constantly complains about the costs of living and I do not listen to his complaints because of my anger towards him and just comment that it is what life costs he moved out of home at 40 to live with us when I fell pregnant because he believes it was the right thing to do.
My youngest is 7 months and our son 2 years I did take a contract and return to work when our son was five months however it was too stressful for the household. I have also had some recent bad experiences using a child care centre. Reading your posts has started me thinking about the deeper issues to my problems with the child care centre, my desires to stay at home until my younger two start school and my recent change in study direction.
I am currently on maternity leave and expected back at work in Jan , therefore I have not found your blog too late. The first step for me is to seek out a family day care provider I am happy with, then seek out a way to come to terms with the additional children I now have.
My job bores me, but after reading your blog I see how I need to grow up, go back to work and study at night finishing the degree slowly, so that I can contribute to supporting my three children from my previous relationship, and be completely responsible for my own life. For the past two years I now see how much I have spiralled out of control, I used to be like Dr Mom, strong in my convictions to work, but now I see how I am lost in the anger and the victim status I have created for myself.
Thank you for your blog and your straight talking. Hopefully he shares in everything else concerning your children, house chores, etc…. Family is serious and difficult and a team effort. It assures me that there are mature mates out there. I just finished my MS, and started my doctoral program this fall.
I guess if I love my kids I should quit school. All I can say is when did you do a psych evaluation of my wife. I have been dealing with this issue for over a year now and my wife is being totally unfair about it. We are going broke and getting further in debt and bankruptcy is right around the corner. Last week my wife was offered a good job. The same job she used to have, that had been held over my head since she left that job when I was offered a higher paying job in another state.
When we moved I said she could stay at home with our 3 yr old and adjust for 6 months. Plus she was going to get certified and all that. I hate the thought of bankruptcy because I am a professional with an MBA and a career.
This reminds me of a quote I once read: The thing that really kills me about the stay-at-home wives of my friends is that. Women who work are more likely to get a divorce.
They are less likely to put up with mistreatment and abuse from their husbands. If your wife works she may have more confidence in herself but she may not have as much confidence and energy for you. Do you have statistics on this? What intrigues me, though, about this suggestion you make, is how it played out in my case, anyway , the exact opposite.
Maybe you can shed some light on this. To wit, I worked full time. I supported my ex because she wanted to take the summer off, ostensibly to finish up her final project for graduate school. At least that is what she told me. She barely touched it the entire summer. Yet, she became increasingly more abusive to me: I sank into despair, lost my functionality as a human, and gradually became a hollow shell of a human. I came dangerously close to suicide. There appear to be inferences made which I am not sure how there were drawn once again without reviewing the study design and detail.
Certainly not for the right to remain unemployed. To suggest that a woman standing up for herself is a loss to the marriage and husband screams volumes regarding what you consider ethical behavior of a woman and or wife. This is a joke. I have a 1 year old and another on the way. I was working from home for a while making just under six figures before the layoff but that was fairly boring too considering there was little social interaction. I think that this article is a horrible fiction.
Should I stay home with my children I will make sacrifices that are so difficult to make and to call me infantile or willingly dependent is a joke. Some women stay home because it is best for their kids. Also, life itself is a job.
Dealing with maintenance people, plumbers, shopping for food, taking care of kids doctors appointments, being present at the school through pta and other volunteer opportunities are all excellent ways to contribute to a family. Who hurt you so badly that you are this twisted? It adds a lot to rational discourse. Arial, if you go back to work, maybe your critical thinking skill will improve.
This writer wrote very clearly that the case example was a woman who refused to go to work after the children were school age. I cannot express how theraputic your site has been for me. It is so helpful knowing that not only are there so many others in my situation but also that there is someone who clearly knows what we have lived through. I have found that the events I have endured are near impossible for people looking in to believe.
If you can think of something that would ruin a marriage I have lived it. I lived with a master manipulator who controlled me with threats of taking my kids knowing the courts would always side with her claims and victim scenarios. I was paralized with the fear of divorcing and leaving my children in an abusive situation with a woman who at a minimum would destroy them psychologically and at worst could end their lives.
I was not willing to take the chance in our slanted courts who always favor the mother especially if the dad is a Servicemember. I decided to stay no matter the cost to me.
I had to save my kids. No one believed how bad it was and in our cirlces she was better than the perfect mom, professional, and wife. She was flawless on the outside. To those closest me and kids she was Evil incarnate. Long story short, once bitten twice shy I began taping audio of phone conversations of the rage, drunkeness,etc.. It was a repeat performance of the earlier incident that she was able to remove my children with.
The difference this time was the tape. Not knowing the incident was recorded the night culminated with her being arrested for domestic assault. Upon bail she filed a DVP against me with claims of physical abuse of her and the children just like she had done previously. It had worked flawlessly once surely it would this time as well.
She even brought pictures of injuries to court to prove I assaulted her injuries she caused by falling drunk on a gravel road. Although the judge ruled she caused her own injuries did she hold her liable for the false allegation of abuse? She then filed for emergency custody of the children she had assaulted.
I produced the tape. I got sole temp custody of the children. The children, one of whom ran away that evening seeking help came out with everything they had endured to 3rd party court appointed investigators. It has been 8 months now and she has been allowed to see the children 1 hour a week. Guardian ad Litem investigated and has recommended no unsupervised visits until majority age.
Childrens counselor agrees as does DHS. Psychological evaluations diagnosed her axis 1 alcohol abuse. So you think kids and I would be safe at this point.
The Forensic pscychologist report although diagnosing her with BPD threw a wrench at me. So now I have become the target. He never once mentioned the affect her disorder had on us.
In fact he exonerated her by giving her wiggle room out of responsibility for her actions. Give a Borderline any way to blame or shuck responsibility and they will maximize it. The shrink really screwed this up and obviously is not schooled on thet true aspects of this illness.
I was dinged for being paranoid. I fully admit it. Not only are military pilots trained that way but I lived with a BPD for 15 years and had no idea what I was up against. It was predictable unpredicatablility. I always knew something bad was coming I just never knew what or when.
Hypervigilance is an understatement. I was paralized in fear. I could not stay in it and remain sane and I could not get out leaving my children to fend for themselves. Imagine calling from Iraq to find your wife driving home drunk with your small children in the car!!
My attorney this past week withdrew under pressure. I warned her early on that she had never been up against a Bordeline of this magnitude. She did not believe me. I am now broke 3 years from retirement and had to hire a very expensive yet skilled attorney not familiar with BPD I will eventually go public hopefully with these tapes I have. They are a clear representaion of Borderline pscyhosis. Remarkably even with the tapes responsibility is projected. I remain in a battle of epic proportions to save my kids even with mountains of solid evidence and reports.
To which my answer always is. I taped because no one believed me or even had the capacity to. As evidence, even with the tapes I am not believed and she still comes out as the victim.
Look at what I am having to go through to free myself and the kids despite all evidence. With borderlines tapes are your only hope. Otherwise what they do is impossible to relay. I would love any advice and would love to hook you up with my new lawyer. I feel so sorry for you. It sounds like the people assessing your crazy wife are more crazy than her to even let her near her children ever again!! Dont give up and hope these crackpot professionals finally see the truth for you. Lots of people must be in your shoes, women can be total lying bitches and dangerous aswell.
I think the way this works is that the local, state and federal governments do not want to have to use tax dollars to support the kids or the ex-wives so they create a situation in which it is cheaper for the man to keep the family together, no matter what. It is a lifelong trajectory in which a woman will do anything so long as she can justify in her mind that some man was responsible for it.
The majority of men have no idea of just how bad many women are, if they did know, few men would ever roll the dice and get married. I know women too well to ever marry one. The bitter irony is, my mother and sisters have carried out and perpetrated a lot of the hateful, undermining, belittling and controlling behaviors most men experience from their girlfriends and wives. My moods were actually being monitored and kept in check! They took advantage of the fact that they had proximity to me, by reason of the fact that we are of the same family, to make my life hell!
Coldly, calculatedly, underhandedly, covertly, but also abruptly and in your face. Each one had her own approach towards bringing me down, trying to destroy my work life, reputation, peace of mind and tranquilty. One of them even went so far as to repeatedly state that she was trying to drive me to suicide. They are all unhappy in their own lives, but what in the hell does that have to do with me?!!! At no time did she tell the judge that every word of her complaint was false.
She tried playing the virtuous victim. Not only could the judges see right through her but, interestingly enough, every single woman in the court rclearly ecognized the game she was trying to run on me. Which tells you how commonly known these tactics are among women. An interesting study that claims most working women are actually less happy then they were 30 years ago. You know why Women are less happy? Ever see a woman marry a nice man and destroy him?
My wife is incredibly capable of working- can make nearly as much money as I do shes an R. I take offense to the notion that I, as a woman, must be some insatiable harpy, lol.
I have three kids, and I work and have worked since day one, in some capacity. I work for an indie publisher, which thankfully gives me the option of telecommuting, and I freelance as much as I can. My husband is constantly trying to get me to stop working and stay home. My point is that not every working woman is unhappy. I love what I do and I as much as I love my kids, and treasure the time I get to spend with them due to my flexible job, I also look forward to the day they are both in school full time and I can go back to the office everyday.
I have short and sweet advice for most of you guys. It wont make an ounce of difference if a women works or doesnt work if she is mental or does not love you anymore.
Its not like women who do not work have the majority on psycho. The truth is your choice in a mate was probably just a poor choice for you. You need a working women and thats fine,and her trying to make you take care of her when you dont want to is wrong! Once this ideal has been ingrained on either side its hard to reverse.
But that goes for men and women!! Since you seem to have taken the liberty to dispense some free advice, allow me to return the favor:. They say one thing I want to work….. You state the obvious when saying that people should figure this stuff out before marriage. Of course they should and bad decisions are made all the time by those who do not want to see the light but that is a topic for another website. There are plenty of women out there who want to sink their hooks into a man and not work.
Frankly, I have trouble respecting a women who does not want to work and be independent. If you have a SAHM and a husband who works, the courts fail to consider that the husband also contributed to housework and raising the childrens.
The court assumes by rewarding the SAHM half that the husband worked, came home, and did nothing. Since when can it be assumed that the husband just works and comes home, offering nothing to child-rearing once he is home?
Maybe the working spouse should get two thirds of the assets for working and contributing to the household upon the divorce while the SAHM gets one-third for staying at home. I am a big fan of feminism…. I wish my husband was as supportive of my career as you seem to be. A warning to you: My first piece of advice would be to prep for a divorce quietly, secure your assets, then cut her off and see what happens. My second piece advice would be to realize that the loss of portfolio assets, etc.
You can rebuild, and frankly, these women require so much overhead and create so much stress that you will find out again how little you need to live happily! Your children are old enough to be only minimally affected by any fallout. My third piece of advice: You are not crazy! What your wife expects and demands is unfair, spoiled, childish, and classic NPD behavior. There are plenty of hard working, appreciative women out there, you just have to find one.
Hi 52 and tired, Please leave this horrible woman she is a drain on you as a normal person and doesnt love you. Anyone who loved you properly would want your happiness she is only bothered about her own.
Selfish and childish is what that truth is about her. It doesnt take phsycolologist to work that one out. Dependent and childish behaviour. I felt disturbed enough about the topic to find my way here. I am not going to kill myself trying to take care of all this by myself. I feel like in my case that this is a attempt for my wife to become more lazy and self centered.
Not to offend anyone but I thought that this was a sight for men to express thereselves about this matter. I hear my fiance point of view on this matter enough and am frankly not intrested I tried to listen with a open mind but noe I feel like this whole ordeal is one big mistake I can do well by myself. I can be happy by myself.
I am not going to encourage the lazy wife sex. She likes lobster and Gucci Louis Vouton. I am about to call the wedding off and save my money for for something that makes sense. I think this mind set has been pre-decided. To void divorce and debt and unhappiness I am going to cut it off before it starts. I was laid off from a well paying marketing job in , my wife is a teacher…makes a good salary. When I was laid off in was my youngest son was diagnosed with autism at 2 yrs.
I also have another son who is presently 11 years old. Since I was laid off from a highly competitive industry I chose to switch careers and become a teacher. While my wife worked, I went to school days, nights, studied weekends was the primary caregiver for both my children, including but not limited to therapies for our autistic son, maintained the household, cleaning, inside and out,laundry, car maintenance. That was my job. Knowing my wife wished she were home with our sons I tried to make it as easy as possible for her.
Helped her get out the door in the morning, helped her with reports. I wanted to provide my sons, especially our autistic son with an emotional foundation that he would carry with him for the rest of his life.
This is my gift to him which you cannot put a price on. I will go to my grave knowing I did the best I did for my sons. What did a get from my wife.. I might add…in doing so I received my teaching certification, presently working at a Hilton Hotel full time for the past two years to help with the bills.
I am stressed about money, feeling I am spinning my wheels. I am pretty bored most of the time, doing little but working, then sitting around at home — I drink more, I guess to escape, to go a little numb.
I want to go do things, but feel guilty doing them on my own. Most of my decisions are based on what I think my wife wants me to do. Often, these are in conflict with what I want to do… so I end up doing nothing. My wife has basically retired at age She has worked less than 4 years in our marriage, while I have worked over 22 so far, often having multiple jobs at one time.
She makes me feel cheap, and incompetent in my earning ability. She complains I control the money, but she spends what she wants. She is the only woman in our families to act like this ….
Not working and not really helping out. She cooks rarely, and then mostly unhealthy stuff late at night. We are forced to like it or do it ourselves. She washes my clothes very inconsistently. I feel very sad when guys at work show up with packed lunches and ironed clothes. I am very tired most of the time.
I just want to sleep, to hide and do nothing. I feel burnt out, just barely going. This will be my fault. I used to do more. I went and walked or ran every night.
I hiked in the mountains every weekend. I cooked pretty good food. I lifted weights or did martial arts pretty regularly. I had my clothes ready to go every weekend. My house was clean. I read a lot, had relaxing mornings, and evenings. I was exploring the area I lived, learning Spanish, taking short class things like real estate, walking around museums and stuff, volunteering with SUK. Now, I just pass the day until the next one comes around.
So again, why do I feel sad? She states that we can climb mountains, go hiking, and she threw in a few other things that I like to do that she says we can do together. This was a stab …. Another guilt thrown at me when she was talking to our oldest daughter about us not shopping together. This is a very consistent pattern, why would I want to put myself in this position. I only do not want to go shopping; she makes me feel unimportant and stupid when I have gone in the past.
So, what is the answer? I guess to focus on what I have, which is quite a lot. But, I have no more today than I had last year, so what is the difference?
Am I growing, or dying? So, how do I get out from under the guilt that my wife gives me? How do become a man? How do I become happy? She sounds like a spoilt child and needs to grow up. Be the adult and leave her and find a nice grown up woman they do exist. Do it now it will change your life forever. I totally can relate to all of this. I hope that you have left her. This sounds like she is making you feel depressed and is ruining your life. This is very unhealthy and it sounds like she is drowning you.
You have fallen out of love with her. The only time I spent that much money in that short a period of time was when I paid tuition bills in college.
And that was money from my savings, before I even met my husband! The thought of wasting that kind of cash makes me a little ill. Caleb, I feel so sorry for you. Maybe these people assessing your wife are just as crazy as her!?
Sounds like she needs locking away from everyone for the publics safety? Why arent the authorities doing it? Because a lot of people are very manipulating and people believe them and some find it funny not in this case I hope. Not all medical professionals are perfect and obviously not in your case.
Hope you get a better life soon you deserve it like everyone else. Hi finally woken, At last you are free to meet an independent lady. Forget the parasite you had recently. The childish women are the ones who need support and make out that women like me dont exist probably. They also stay with a man they dont love until they run off with another man to support them.
Then complains that I never do anything around the house. I work 2 jobs I leave the house at 7: She has 2 BS degrees in science and a masters in hospital admin. Know how long she has worked in her entire life?
Hi Already lost, Dont think you would lose much if you dumped her tomorrow! Let her but without you! What do you do when your future spouse says that she wants to work and pretends to find a job and lives with you and finds every excuse not to work. She has to be lazy and doesnt really want to work and is just using you for your money. You need to find a more ambitious type of women who has a goel and purpose in life.
What do women think about this situation? The feeling of contribution, achievement and success is rewarding. I love working-my salary is small, but i still feel confident and i do my best at work. One thing that needs to be made very clear is the difference between having one of a couple stay home when the kids are little, but when they get to Junior High School, there are no excuses except what Dr.
When my wife and I married, we agreed that she would stay home until our youngest was in first grade and then finish her college degree.
Our youngest got to first grade and my wife changed her mind. Jason, I feel really sorry for you. My husband made derogatory comments that even though I had always earned much more than him!
I find women who could never be independent such as women who dont have good jobs spread stupid childish rumours I cant cope on my own!? So you see the problem is difficult. A lot of women say they are independent and can do things on their own BUT big BUT they are totally delusional because women like me make them feel threatened.
The conclusion is sorry for waffling! I am now remarried and in the throes of us financially coming together over the next year. Take care and good luck. I have never looked to a man to support me, in fact my first husband made significantly less than me as a dog walker, and he stayed home with our daughter while I worked and went to college. It confounds me that there are still women out there who are happy to sap the life out of a man like this!
I read this article with much interest. Relationships are a two way street and complacency, dependency and laziness soon breed resentment. I would imagine it also leads to feelings of worthlessness in the wives. How can they possibly be happy living like that? The women in these situations have got to sense the resentment their husbands are feeling.
Add in other problems… lack of intimacy, controlling behavior, etc and you have a recipe for a miserable marriage. I am also fully aware men need to put effort into a relationship to encourage their wives to be the best they can be and remind them every day of how much they love them.
I work full time, raised a child, did the household chores, managed all the finances…. He would not have me any other way and I would never allow myself to become any less than that. Just my two cents. Long time listener, first time caller.
Imsges: guy doesnt want to hook up anymore
Financial independence give you more options. September 11th, by Mr. My cover as a blogger was blown last year when a story about us went viral.
It was a repeat performance of the earlier incident that she was able to remove my children with.
Furthermore, no one is forcing you to read my blog. I still like to eat Ramen Noodles, she likes to pick up Olive Garden. Now its come to this. I must have been photoshop. Now I read it on here and I do not know what to think. So idek know what to think.
- Dating nagpur
- Watch dating in the dark online free
- Dating sites kenya
- Cali dating agency
- Dating lima peru
- Hook up with tinder
- Pregnant and dating online episodes
- How to find a man on a dating site
- Indian guys online dating
- Mcmaster online dating
- How soon after divorce did you start dating
- Lehigh valley dating scene
- Message ideas for dating sites