Thank you again to all of you for sharing your experiences!! The fault is not you. Worried about making a good impression on your first date? The day will come when life breaks one of your legs, along with your ego, and the marriage will topple. What do I do? I had friend requested him a few years back.
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Andrea here again-I relate to you too Rena. I would want to get to know his friends also. I hug people a lot, it feels good and says so much. So forget family events. He blames it on me.
I used to offer to interpret but his parents are highly offended by that and he asked me not to. So forget family events. Hanging out with deaf friends are the only times we have a normal social life. I find your post hilarious. I am deaf and to find that your wife is a burden to you? That says it all in your relationship. Do you even sign with her? Maybe if you learned sign language, you two would develop a better relationship.
Yes, it is a challenge but to communicate with a deaf partner, sign language is always the best approach. That was cruel of him to say that.
There are many ways to be supportive, affectionate and communicative without sign language and voice. When he is away, they can email, etc. Rick, shame on you for being selfish and shallow. I read your posts it. I am deaf and I have a girlfriend is hearing. We been together 8 years. We always communication write paper. Because We believe in the God. We have a good life. I say good luck in relationship. Black Wizard — Glad to know that you and your girlfriend are happy communicating by writing on paper.
Not everyone would be happy with that, but if it works for you, that is great! My girlfriend janet is deaf and i hear and me text each other so we could understand each other. I felt in love with janet because she is her self around me and i love that about her. I think it better when you try very hard have that beautiful relationship with the one you love with your heart so much. I just found your website and VERY thankful to see all the wonderful posts both good and bad.
I had to print everything out to re-read as many times as needed. I am hearing and just started dating a guy that is deaf born deaf, can read a little lips, and speak a little.
I have 3 young boys 10,8,5 from my first marriage and he has a son 9 from a previous relationship mom was deaf, son is not. When I met my bf, I was excited to learn more and have picked up on a lot of the signs he has taught me. In the past month that my boys have known my bf, they know the alphabet and can fingerspell.
They also know some basic signs and love learning more. To them it is a game, and a game they are getting really good at. I admit there are times when I just shake my head or hold up my hand, but then he will try to write it out on paper. I stop him and make him go slow, because i want to learn. I have come up with a list of why I would rather have a deaf bf than a hearing one:.
Also, he can feel me having problems breathing before I can notice it sometimes. I am currently dating a HOH man. He is a mechanic. When he wears them everything is fine. He does not use sign language. His sense of humor is endless. He is hardly ever serious. It has been very difficult however. He gets distracted very easily. We are extremely attracted to one another and care for each other a great deal. I just recently got into an relationship with my boyfriend. I am hearing and my wife is deaf.
We have been together for almost 7 years and have 2 beautiful hearing sons. It was tough in the beginning of our relationship just because we were young. She was 18 I was almost I learned sign from her after a few months of dating since we spent every minute together and I have picked it up really well. I even fooled some of our deaf friends when I first met them with my sign but of course they saw right through me since I sign english and not pure ASL. My wife and I are very happy.
Of course there are things that make our relationship hard. Things do get crazy for me when we are in the deaf community since it is different and not everyone signsnclean as my wife so communication gets hard with the people that sign too fast or not as clear but we make sure that we are both involved and comfortable before doing anything that would make they other mad or uncomfortable. There is a lot to learn than just signing. The deaf culture is very different than hearing culture and that will scare or just surprise anyone not ready for it.
Because of my wife, I have some of the best friends ever that are deaf and some deaf friends that are closer than my hearing friends. I do recommend anyone willing to date a deaf or hard of hearing person but do realize the sacrifices both are giving up for each other as any relationship between two people.
Even though I am giving up using my voice to talk to my wife, she has given up much of her deaf community just to be more involved for my hearing world and sometimes that makes things hard for a relationship but every relationship has sacrifices hearing or deaf.
Good luck to anyone already with someone deaf or hard of hearing I hope things turn out great. I am encouraged that with communication and with work, these relationship can be successful. Last summer, I re-connected with a boyfriend from college. While in college, he had some hearing but is now completely deaf. He has always been able to read lips great which was how we communicated long ago.
Since then, he has been married and divorced was married to a hard of hearing person while I am now widowed. First and foremost, we are friends and that has always been the case-then and now. We share the same interests, have the same goals and we have learned hard life lessons. We are both fortunate to love and are successful in our current work he is contractor now.
Both of us had abusive marriages and are now very independent. Besides a solid friendship, we are both strong Christians and we believe with this foundation, anything is possible.
We both agree that communication is important and even though, we are doing pretty good-it is frustrating at times, especially for me. I am slow but he tells me I am doing well and not be so hard on myself. I love signing and feel rewarded when our conversation flows. When a hearing person looks at me to get clarification, I now tell them to talk to him. I am so proud of how he does and I am proud to be with him. Another thing in our favor is our age-he is 53 and I am We look at this as a second chance for us-but, we are thankful to still be friends, no matter what.
I love signing and will continue to practice, study and learn. I am a strong person and I feel that I can handle the difficulties of this kind of relationship. We have alot going for us and with patience, the possibilities are endless. But, after 33 years of friendship, I am just thankful to have my friend back in my life.
Thanks for reading my story. I will admit that communication is sometimes a struggle. I repeat myself quite a bit and usually have to talk to him face to face for him to really understand what I am saying. He has a hard time in cars and can hardly hear a thing which makes drives a little boring, but I am happy. In all relationships people need to adapt. This relationship just requires a little more adaptation. Even though I know there will be some rough times we are planning on getting married.
He makes me happy and treats me like a princess. He is a very humble person because of his deafness and likes to build any relationship he has. Because of that he treats our relationship like it is the best thing on the planet and will do anything to make sure it works out. That is a enormous perk of having a relationship with somebody who is deaf. All I can say is give things a chance. There will be hard times, but if you learn to work through them, it will all be worth it in the end.
Hello, I am a hearing and my husband is deaf. He lost his hearing when he was almost 3 so he speaks pretty clearly. I actually didnt find out he was deaf till our 2nd or 3rd date. He does sign to other deaf people but mostly relies on reading lips to communicate. He has never really been socially accepted into the deaf culture because he speaks really well and really doesnt embrace his deafness.
We met, dated a while, got pregnant, continued to date, fell in love and got married. He had a few deaf acquaintances while in college but since married life he doesnt keep in touch. His choice not mine! I know a bit of sign but because he does not sign to me when speaking it is hard for me to retain it and remember it. Our children are learning sign but the same with them, they are not retaining it or remembering it because it is not used by him.
I have asked and asked him to sign when speaking to us but he sees it as an inconvenience because we do not NEED to have him sign. He doesnt give the appropriate responses a lot. We have quirks in our marriage that do not revolve around him being deaf or me being hearing but one of our major issues and fight causing issues is the LACK of communication between us. I talk and he tries to listen and look at me but he get distracted so easily so then I pause and wait till he looks at me to start speaking again.
At the moment i am trying to find somethign to read on how to have a successful marriage with e hearing wife and s deaf husband. My wonderful boyfriend is fully deaf he is my first offical fully deaf partner before i had the oppertunity to date hard of hearing boys so this is something new for me but i love it!
I am very social in the deaf community i love it to be fully honest. I dont see anything about deaf-hearing relationships that is negative. Hi, I have a query that I wonder whether anyone could help with. My partner of 12 years is hearing impaired, with minimal hearing with his hearing aid in one year and significantly more hearing in another through his cochlear implant.
He got his cochlear implant at There have been the obvious challenges associated with adapting my own communication style to his hearing impairment, which we have managed. I find that my partner omits the little things, that sometimes mean a lot, such as please and thank you and sorry and just those short, but really appreciated! I would really appreciate any advice.
Jennifer — For Deaf people who grow up without full access to communication, such as your husband did, missing out on vicarious learning is typical. It could be that your husband did not learn the commonly expected courtesies you mentioned, but his omissions could also be reflective of his general approach to communication. Assuming you have already shared your concerns with him and he has not made an effort to incorporate these courtesies into his interactions, it could be that there is something else going on.
If it is bothering you a lot, you may want to look into couples counseling to discuss the issue with a therapist familiar with Deaf-hearing marriages. We wish you the best. I was born full deaf and im just baby i not know yet sign language and speak voice too also i watch whole my family that all make me strange thing LOL them action and more know learn more then i were 6 or 7 i not remember i have huge experience special education i went school i met lots people deaf or hard of hearing amazing kids sign language that awesome i understanding them and they teach me sign i was 8 or 9 age also i learning more skills and speech therapy for years then i love it.
Im deaf woman with my boyfriend is hearing, we have been together for 7 years and just have a child will be 1 years old. I use sign language and some read lip, he is the most to use spelling and several sign like home sign.
He learning, but once i teach him a new sign and next day he forget. We dont really argue very often but just frustration about our communication.
I wanted him to full sign language and how to teach him? Something work for hearing. I have to be honest, i had dated only one full deaf girl. She and I broke up, i was having very bad problems. I found another deaf girl, where she and I worked. I had started to learn signbefore I met the first girl. We have had our share of bumps. I have gone to school, been involved heavy with the deaf community, and my brain has a road block to ASL.
It is so frustrating to me. I used to do a lot of interpreting for the deaf community where we worked. But the number one biggest problem has been misunderstanding one another. We have had some major battles. What i have found is that most of the schools that had deaf children years ago did not do a good job of teaching the deaf. This has caused a lot of problems for the deaf community fourty and fifty years ago.
It is to easy to say that it is the other persons fault. My wife is a gift from God. I am so happy that she said yes. I had done millions of hours interpreting for her, and have been lucky enough to be her interpreter at church. Any relationship will have bumps but the real test is to be able to look at it and want it to work.
But to be able to see someone that signs and to watch their expressions, to see how much they love their culture and to really love, there is nothing that will compare to the beauty of sign in song, sign in plays, and to be able to be a part of the deaf community is beyond understanding.
Hi, I am not deaf but hearing impaired and also implanted in one ear. I am functional on the hearing world but when it comes to relationships and social life in general it is always a big strugle for me.
I even came to think that he was ashamed of me at some point, for acting dumb some times. I guess I am just venting here, the pain I feel that our relationship ended because I was not good enough.
Rosita — Thank you for your comment. Rosita, I am going through the same thing. The hearing loss turned MINE off too. We are who we are. We are enough just as we are. Rosita, It hurts me to hear what you have to say. The fault is not you. Too many times the hearing people have a serious lack of manners, patience and maturity. Then the next problem is schools that fail to equip students. They teach Spanish, French and have a hard time understanding that embedded in this nation there is a class of people that are slaves.
No, the problem is not you. Hi, I am partially hearing impaired, I can speak well and I wear hearing aids. I depend alot on lip reading, a person has to speak to me slowly and face-to-face in order for me to understand what the person is saying. A week ago at a camp for burn survivors. I myself am a burn survivor. Anyways, at this camp I met my friend Deborah who is also a burn survivor burned when she was 5.
We are both 14 right now. This is where my deaf friend comes in. He has been deaf since he was months. Solomon was living off machines when his doctor suggested they use a medication that would practically save his life but could end up taking away all or most of his hearing. This meant that everyone in their house-hold, including the oldest sister 18 , had to learn sign to better accommodate for Solomon. We liked to keep things private. Anyways… I guess this was just a post so someone who understands will listen to me.
Thanks for reading through all this. I really appreciate it. Let me make something real clear ;-. My present wife is considered hard of hearing. Even with hearing aids, she can only hear noise.
She refuses Cochlear Implants. I am proud of her. I stood for the deaf at work because of the lack of respect for the deaf. So much do that at the job where I met my wife I was called to a meeting for the deaf. I found out later that I was not supposed to be there. In the meeting, the supervisor was belittling the deaf. One of the young women that I trained wanted me to let her know if the certified interpreter was correct. I started signing on the sly to the girl, being as sneaky as possible.
From then on none of the deaf trusted her. I was willing to go to court to testify as to what the supervisor was saying. Deaf, may be better. The woman could wake the dead because of her snoring but if she were to stop, I would not be able to sleep.
I have interpreted when we went to a Benny Hinn, faith healing for almost five straight hours with no breaks, at Rhema Bible Training center, because she wanted to be a pastor, I interpreted the entire school day. Not for the money but for the love. I have more difficulty because of arthritis and my 64 years of age. Not one person in her family can sign except for her daughter. So, I am the proud husband. I am not certified, although I did test.
I missed one too many questions so I free lance. At my age I have learned one thing about my relationship with my wife, we will never completely understand one another. My signing and her understanding or her deaf concept and my lack of deafness will never really agree. We duo have rough places. I have been dating thi wonderful man for a few months now..
I am hearing and he is deaf but Inspite if all that we are able to communicate well.. Mostly because I am willing to take ASL classes and be patient.. It has been a struggle so far including him In conversation with my hearing friends but they are patient and I do my best to interpret..
I love my boyfriend and I would do anything for him.. I am hearing and my husband is deaf. He went deaf at 14 and he can talk really good.
Our problem is that his mom has always done everything for him. He will not look for a job. I look for him s job I call about it Ischedule tthe interview and I go with him and interpret as well. I am very good at sign language so I enjoy it. I cook I clean the house I take the trash out and I take care of our 4 year old. He sits and does nothing until he needs something then he yells at me to do this do that for him.
He constantly puts me down to make himself feel better about his insecurities. We have been married 5 years and together 8. We separated twice and he has kicked me and my daughter out twice over his friend. He meets new friends and he conforms to his friends activities beliefs and ect. His friend kept telling him to go off with him go clubbing go cheat on his wife. He did all that because his friend did. He has turned our life upside down. He blames it on me.
When his friend went to jail for theft and he almost lost his job because of it he finally calmed down and started listening. But now he is back to himself again. I just want him to let go of his ego and be independent for once. So sorry to hear this! If not get deaf counselling together. Having your married life separate from your in-laws can help also. Learn how to build that unity in your marriage. Praise him when he helps with your 4 year. Ask him to share the responsibility and come up with a system that gets you some rest.
Encourage him to the the things he can do himself, himself. If he can drive, tell him take the car. He can walk with a note pad to his appointments. I pray this helps. I am deaf and i am student college then i not looking for job yet but im need finish my college lol. I am hearing and my wife is HoH. I use sign language as my primary means of communication with her although she is proficient at lip reading.
I have a couple of years of formal ASL training but rely on straight English sign as a rule. She was born deaf and attended a school for the deaf from age four through high school. We have been married for years and most have been blissful with the usual struggles. I know some of her OCD has wore of on me as far as keeping a neat household. We have two hearing children now grown so our social life was primarily around hearing people, many at school functions or our kids extracurricular activities.
I am not a certified interpreter but try to sign everything I can when I am with my wife. I believe it is in part because they feel some awkwardness when I interpret and she tries to engage in the conversation and the fact they are uncomfortable with the effort conversations require. This continues to put a strain on our relationship because she becomes frustrated with not getting all the communication going on and my limited ability to keep up with multiple conversations in a group setting.
One-on-one is where my wife does well and gets the most out of communicating with hearing people. My wife works at a local hospital in a data imaging center where she is one of the most productive workers, mostly because her co-workers leave her alone and she is the only deaf employee in her department. I feel angry when she feels omitted from conversations at work and their general lack of deaf awareness.
The fact we have moved several times to different geographic regions has complicated the development of a social life for her, especially.
She has worked outside the home on and off ever since we met but always in a hearing environment. I am giving you all this detail to hopefully frame our situation better.
If I had to do it over again, I would absolutely have a relationship with a deaf or HoH person but would do things a little different or make different choices. Here are my suggestions:. I hope to be married to this woman for the rest of my life and care for her more than anything.
The challenges never go away and sacrifices must be made on both sides as in all relationships. As long as your partner is your primary support person and both parties remain patient, there is no limit on what love can conquer.
I am a hearing student in asl 1. I love the class and my teacher is deaf no implants. This will be a great experience in my life and I wish it could last forever. Sadly my next asl teacher will be hearing. It wont be the same without him. All of you present excellence comment! Communication is important but are there other factors that we often missed clue in our daily communication.
You know how hearing person use their tone to express toward each other, the same for deaf people use their body language, facial expression, etc. These are the most critical issues we face everyday. Love may be in the air but I seem to be lacking on how we depend on visual communicating, eyes contact, feeling and sharing the most imitating touch to let each other to know how much we appreciate each other.
My hearing girlfriend is a sweet person with caring but her soul will always be hearing, she talkative and can share deep communication but still lacking visual stimulus!
As I was trying to say before I pressed to enter key and i entered in a small of text above. From my own experience with my beautiful wife of 26 wonderful years. Some very hard years of her having to deal with my anger issues because of PTSD.
We took the time to sit down and have some heart to heart talks. It took her letting me know that this was two different worlds coming together and part of the help was reading one of the books that help to become an interpreter here in Oklahoma.
It took almost a month for the library here to finally get it from Tulsa to Oklahoma City but it opened a lot of doors. I still make mistakes when it comes to love is in the air. But the biggest thing is communication. Without communication there can be no Love. Communication is the Bridge of Trust, Love, Understanding, Relationship, and it is the key to everything in a marriage.
If one person goes to bed mad then that person does not get any sleep and they spend the night tossing and turning and finding all kinds of reasons to want a divorce or worse. Two people get together for a couple of reasons anyway, Love, Sex Lust , Money or some other earthly reason that only ends up in court. I now enjoy deaf theater, deaf movies, deaf gatherings, I have even been to see Joel Parrish here in Oklahoma City, what a blast. If I have learned any thing about the deaf community, they bleed red, they hurt, they really do think like hearing, they have feelings, they have rights, they can drive cars, trucks, have babies, and do most anything a hearing person can do.
How do I know? I have worked along side of, stood up for, interpreted for, married to, friends with, played Bible trivia with, been invited to their homes where there are little children, seen them as they answered the door, the telephone, attended to children when they were crying in another room.
The list goes on and on and on and on. If my wonderful wife should die and I ever have to get married again, you can bet, it will be a deaf woman. I am hearing with a deaf boyfriend. He opens my door, rubs my feet daily and even massage my body without me having to tell him.
We interact just like any other couple would. I have been searching online trying to find ways and answers on how to communicate on a dating website. I am a 36 year old deaf speaking woman, I was born deaf and I wear two hearing aids. I had a speech therapist for years as an child and I continue to read lips. I am a single woman and it has always been heard for me to date and explain my hearing situation. Should I put it on my match. Or is this something that you tell someone in person.
How should I kindly express this without getting a pity email or something. I have never been around other deaf people. However, I do wish I grew up around that culture. I grew up in a hearing household, regular school and classes. In college, I take my classes online to avoid some rude professors I have come across having issues repeating and being sarcastic. I chose not to use a note taker because I feel I can do it myself since I have always done things my way and never used my disability for anything.
I would greatly appreciate advice on this dating thing since I have had issues with it. Should I put it up on my match. Or should I say it in an email before meeting? A real man will not care. It is a good idea to be upfront with your situation. If it were on the other foot, I believe that you would want the other person to be up front with you.
A real man is not going to care because he is not after the disability but after the complete package, I mean the mental package as well. As long as the music is right between the both of you then dance to the music. My wife is beautiful for who she is, not what she is. The both of us have enough querks and faults to sink a battleship, but why dwell on them?
If I go looking for a fault, you can bet I will find plenty. But if I go to find someone to share my life with, who makes mistakes like I do, who grows old, who may not look good upon waking up in the morning, who may eat with their mouth open, but who is HUMAN like I am, then I am pretty lucky.
So be like the new born baby, take the chance and walk if you fall, get back up and try walking again. If you are a hearing person with a deaf person…. There is no excuse not to learn sign especially after 14 years with someone.
Hi I am a hearing person with chronic pain. I am at the other end of the spectrum where I have acute hearing and find my life to be very small because of these factors.. I went to a dinner where everyone signed and I loved the joy in the spectrum gning. I found myself lost in a world of happiness towards lamguage.
It was so nice to c9mmunicate with9uyt my ears hurting. There seems to be very little place forme in this world do u have any ideas of changes I cam make to make this life better. People do need to think twice about marrying a deaf person. I am exhausted repeating myself over and over. If I need him, I have to drop everything, go out to the garage or his man cave until he can hear me. Forget concerts, movies or anything else you have enjoyed in the past.
I have friends who work in the deaf community and they say this is extremely common. They are used to most everything being coddled for them. Do I sound jaded? Actually I love a deaf and mute girl…and want to get married to her but was confused that will i be able to cop up with her or not. And reparation hair, after all, but it is so difficult, helping to kill another school age teen from overdose, who all have the misfortune of meeting the same bad boy at pbh. Sure, send a card, say youre sorry, etc.
But dont act nervous around them. I mean, if you want to talk about a funny movie you saw last night, do it. Dont feel like you have to treat them with kid gloves…. But at the same time, be sensitive. If your friend says hey, will you get dinner with me on tuesday. Try to make yourself available. Be just what she desperately needs.
If youre trying to get your friend to go out on friday night but she doesnt want to and prefers to stay in, dont give her a hard time about it. Basically, dont be pushy. Ok, I guess this topic is over now but I could talk about death all day long. And thanks for everyones nice words to me. Another cliche but totally true. Deaf-blind dating site zite s. If any lover wants to be interested in someone then Deafs.
I found the right match in our heart. She is a deaf woman from NY. We are being happy to chat every day on VP and then next week I will meet her. We will spend time going out and getting to know more about each other.
She is a very honest person. We found happiness in each other thanks to the website. Have a good day.
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I have come up with a list of why I would rather have a deaf bf than a hearing one:. Being married is wayyyyy different for hearing-hearing and even more so for hearing. Rosita — Thank you for your comment.
However, I do wish I grew up around that culture. I have never been around other deaf people. After two hours of observing her with her teammates and coach at a game, I came to a very different conclusion.
We share the same interests, have the same goals and we have learned hard life lessons. I am very deaf-blind dating site at sign language so I enjoy it. His signing is executive matchmaking orlando because he cannot spell. We are best friends and I look forwards to the rest deaf-blind dating site our lives together. He had dark brown hair eite blue eyes. Janet is my world and i am happy.
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