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And she would argue and fight with me and break up with me. Cut ties as easily as you can. AskMen subscribe unsubscribe , readers 3, users here now Community Rules:
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Nothing special compared to conventionally attractive persons. Cut ties as easily as you can. She said a couple of other things about her body parts and went on to talk about something else. I am gay and have been since I was 7 years old. Also close this question. But I just feel like shes really killing me slowly and destroying my future and life. Most of them are fat.
I cannot believe I did this. I can only pray. You Are Not Alone! Never allow a man to bring you so low to the point to where you hate him. You have to become happy with yourself. He would call me terrible disgusting names and I fit more like his enemy more than a companion. He made me not want to engage in any kind of affection or anything.
Stay strong and know your worth and everyone else will too. What does your gut say? My boyfriend has even said he wishes he was with one of my sisters but he does it to get me mad. I hope God hears you and guides you to peace. Hi Lupe and to all of the ladies sharing your painful stories of abuse.
I too, am going thru the same thing and have been for over 17 months. When my so called boyfriend gets mad at me, he insults me to lowest degree. He calls me fat ugly ass bitch, a line backer, and says no one will ever love me but him.
He calls me trash etc. He has hit me and threatened to kill me and bury me where no one will find me. He has choked me out. I love him much, but he accusses me of doing him wrong and he treats me worst than a dog. Today, he went so far as to say that he is seeing someone else and that she treats him good and has plenty money.
Not once did he say anything that had meaning, because if it is that easy to be bought, then I know I am better off without him. It hurts, but God will bring me thru it. I never wanna be with a man for what he has, other than the right intentions to love me unconditionally. To all of you. We deserve so much more. I feel the same as you do. And then he says he loves me?
It started innocently enough and it got worse. I protested and he told me I was being weak for being offended. Four years later, the name calling and beratement continued.
I never called him names and I never belittled him. Because I truly loved him. I also believe that when u LOVE someone, even in anger, u choose ur words wisely. Look at it from that perspective. Life is too short to spend it waiting on someone to respect you. Hi Megan, I have a similar situation.
This last time, 6 weeks ago I have not accepted his asking me back. I never knew these names, spitting on my stuff, pumping up his chest at me is considered abuse. But I have been leaning on my children and exercising more. My intuition tells me to move on, let him go.
Listen to your intuition, it does not lie. What the right choice is…for ourself and whoever we choose to be involved with! We need to let our intuition guide us, redirect us to peace and happiness.
I was accustomed to ignoring my intuition, and letting him keep me down feeling inferior. Please give yourself what you deserve, and that is respect. Just checking on you Megan. I can totally relate as i feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life I can a stable home in England,I came to the states and meet my husband. I work 2 jobs to try and stay out the house because of the contant put down the lies it hurts deep inside so where.
I feel so lost and miss my family I gave up everything to be with someone who mentally abused me everyday the eorst thing i can not leave because i will get deported and i have nothing to go back to i gave up everything to strt a new life with him and because i have forgiven him for so much he treats me loke crap now.
It hurts so much god knows this is the eorst relationship i have been in i have never neen so disrespected lile this before. I know what you mean. I left my family in the Caribbean for this guy i fell in love with and he has mentally abused me for the last 7 years and we been together almost 11 yrs with 2 kids a 3yr old and an 8yr old and he says the most obscene things in front of them. Ihave nowhere to go i feel so stuck and my kids see me cry everyday and accuses me of things and calls me a prostitute says i sleep with a bunch of men and it is not true.
Im suffering so bad. You have your family. I hope you can move away from that man. It broke my heart reading your post. I truly hope you are in a better place now and found your way out of that.
I am pretty much on the same page as you. Its the worst feeling… it all comes back and makes me think what did I do to deserve such a bad person in my life?! I am here for you … im not quite sure where u are. But im located in california and you are more thn welcomed to contact me for help! Im sure theres a way out … keep safe and positive. What doesnt kill us makes us stronger. God bless you sweetie. Swetie you are not alone.
You are so brave coming all the way from a far land. At least you dont have kids by this man. I am trying 2 leave a similar situation but im. American and have kids and manage 2 get out of the same house. My kids father is so mean like your guy. Dont give up your life will be so much better without this toxic person around you. Whatever this man does he has a problem it has no affect on you. No matter what he says dont let him. Believe your valuable and special.
These men take advantage when your in a bad position. They bring many people around to convince you something wrong with you. Please stay strong people need good. People in they life and let these bad men be in they own sick world. You dont deserve to be treated this way you have rights and just because your a citizen of a different place dosent mean he can do this. Where do you get that you will be deported? I left me ex who was abusive. Got a divorce, still have my green card.
Just renew it every ten years. I am not the only one, a friend from France had the same situation. After two weeks now I already regret it. Like you said…as more you forgive, the more disrespectful and powerful they get.
Just remember you are allowing it. You have to be strong and gain that confidence back in yourself!! He has no respect for you. But that is never a reason to stay with a man, even if you have children with him. My advice would be to go back home, get a divorce, and never look back. Always watch out for the warning signs when you have a date. You are beautiful, you are strong, and you deserve better!!!! I have a boyfriend that calls me ugly name abt my feet the way I look says I look like a woman that has 10 children.
I have been with the same man for almost 5 years. I work, go to school full time and cook and clean and mow yard etc. He calls me ugly names that are beyond words cruel and abusive. I hate the way he makes me feel for no reason. Majority of the time its over absolutely nothing. If he is out of cigarettes, for instance that was the thing tonight.
He began to call me a fatslob, and fat ass btch, along with other things. I just wanna be able to leave and never look back. Hi Lnp, In regards your situation, you should never let him treat you like that. It is disrespectful, and he doesnt seems to appreciate all you do for him. You absolutely do not deserve to be talked to and treated like an animal, especially in front of his kids who you take care of.
He does not have respect for himself so he does not respect you. Get out and get with a support group. I left a marriage of 24 years and I was the most difficult thing I ever did. I healed and worked on me. You can get free. Look into a group. Take refuge and save yourself. No one else can. You deserve the best and do not settle for anything less.
Please get away to safety. No one should have to live like this. Own your self worth and leave that highly abusive man. I just did this to my ex. I told him before his bd that he needed to do something for me or I was done it was gwetting bad I felt taken advangted of. I know saying that to him would of freaked him out but it would of showen me what I was up for. Feels good to write this out. I understand how so much frustration built up and finally you hit back with words.
That reminds me of my mom and dad who are now divorced because he recently came clean about his affairs. He calls my mom evil because she would tear him down with words but how can you blame her when he was so terrible at communicating and showing her he loved her. It makes sense that you reacted, however, there was a lot of poison in that relationship. One of the biggest predictors of divorce is contempt.
It sounds like that relationship was overflowing with underlying anger and resentment. Hi, I am 24 years old and I have been with my bf for four years. I told him most of my secrets. Today, I can honestly say he knows everything about me. I thought this was normal, I thought he was my best friend, and I thought he loved me. We had a lot of fights, about big and small things. At first it was just loud and disturbing, but then it became a little less loud and more hurtful. He started using my secrets against me.
He would call me stupid, disgusting, whore, b , c , spick. My boyfriend is White and I am Hispanic. His family hates me because I am not White, I never considered him racist though. I thought, if he is with me and I am Hispanic then there is no way he is racist. But I think this is also something that I forced myself to believe. In private, he will call black people niggas, and not in the slang version of it; in a cold and hateful version.
He also calls Hispanics spicks. Anyway, with all of this I still found it in me to love him so much and basically put him first on my list of priorities. When he is not angry with me he is super fun and loving. I moved out of my parents house and now live closer to him. He has never offered to help me financially. He only ever gives me things on holidays or our anniversary.
He said we agreed not to. I still got him stuff because I have always been a sucker for holidays and our anniversary. Yesterday I went through his phone. I found a conversation with one of his female coworkers.
She was telling him how she wanted to go bother him and how she is going away on vacation and she bought a few bathing suits. She said a couple of other things about her body parts and went on to talk about something else. I asked him about it and he got mad at me.
He said that that girl is his friend and so on and so fourth. As long as we been together, neither of us has had any friends like this. Its been two days since he has tried to reach out.
I always blame myself for everything. I have been giving in for a couple years now. I was all about fun and completely irresponsible. I made a lot of mistakes and had a lot of regrets but I still loved myself. I am in the same situation, I am 29 years old African woman dating a 33yrs old French guy for almost 4 years. I broke up with him lately but have to live in the same house to get at least part of my investment in the business we started together. As I type this he is saying nasty things to me like oh you are barren, you are disgusting, your family is poor, how could you be pregnant at 17, you are second hand, stuff like this.
But I know this is how nacissists behave. I am making arrangements to leave this house in the next two weeks, all I have to do is tune him out and do my work. My dear you need to ask yourself is this something you want in the next years. I kind of wonder what this guys name is because I swear that your talking about my boyfriend!!! I went through his phone a couple of nights ago and he caught me!
I flinched and automatically put my arms up in defense…He just stared at me for a minute with his fist in the air and then said he would never hit me and that he would never want to hurt me!
He also told me for the first time tonight that nobody would ever love me the way he loved me.. He also calls everyone spicks and used the N word all the time but openly and has made comments out loud about the JUNGLE music that a bar has played… Is this the same guy??!!! How do I get our relationship back into a good spot and keep it there?? I was married at 20 and had a child!! I was young and dumb!
Love yourself First Ladies! Been there done that. Ive been putting up with mental abuse from relationships and I unfortunately deal with mental abuse from my dad on a regular basis. I understand and know all to well. Im writing this and being verbally abused as I write this but I have learned to block it out. Just love yourself first. Stand up for yourself and stick to your words that you will not tolerate this type of behavior from them. They all say there sorry.
It hurts cause you feel victimized and a form of voilated and you tell yourself ,you deserve better. These people are getting pleasure from your pain. Take back your self confidence back and do what is going to help you best. You are not alone. The best thing to do when someone is insulting you is to say nothing and walk away!!! Dont like how he treats you,your going to have to change your environment. Its not always a pill for mental ,emotional ,verbal abuse. You are a person and people love you.
You are somebody to someone and you are important. Do the right and legal stuff. My husband calls me names of all sorts , repeats things over and over again, gets in my face, , I do not degrade myself because of him as a matter of fact the more he does it the stronger I get ,I know that I am a person of great ability and no one but no one is bringing me down especially a man. And she knows I love her. She was talking too me. But one time she was at her friends house and she texted me and told me too FaceTime.
I want her too spend time with her friends and family. And that really hurt me. I love her and if I lost her it would kill me. Remember that you need to love yourself in order to love someone else. You must never think that it would kill you if a relationship ended.
I hope you meant it would hurt you a lot. I someone leaves you then it may hurt you for a long time but eventually you will find someone else even though it may seem impossible. You left this message a while ago so I hope you get it. I am in a very bad situation in my life where I was married to a man and he had a mistress. He divorced me and I literally go messed over in court and have nothing at all left in the world except my dog.
I;m staying with a man I thought was a christian but he also knows I have nothing. He has started to use this against me. He is constantly telling me how pretty other women are. How he wants to sit in the window of a restaurant so he can watch people with big boobs. He once called me old although he is twelve years older than I am. He tells me I am beautiful but with all the comments he makes he makes me feel insecure and he tells me I am to sensitive.
Once when we were out I made a comment about my business I used to have and he embarrassed me for no reason. I know I need to leave this situation. I am older and in my generation at least men may notice a woman but not say things like: He still wants me to live at his home but nit be with me. Again, due to my husband having power I was left with nothing. I am scared and heartbroken but I know that I will find a way and happiness again.
Please know you will too. Ive been dating this much older guy for a while now and it was perfect at first but then he started calling me names every name that is and everytime I would give a guy a hug he didnt like it at all he doesnt even like me talking to other men. And he asks me to make money for him by sleeping with other men I dont know if he is joking about that or not but this is the creepiest thin g he keeps asking me to have a three some with him and his son again dont know if he is joking or not.
And I also have pimples on my face and he said I have pimpleitus and that you cant even see my face anymore. And he says this stuff in a normal toned voice and its always usually when we are getting along its really weird. I dont often reply but i read your post and it creeped me out. I would run as fast as i can. He is testing you. He wants to make money from you. By doing a 3way thats his way of breaking u in.
You are beautiful and respectable. Dont let that mother fer treat you that way. Only be treated with respect. Love always Robin D.
Thank you to open my eyes it hurts but you said when someone calls names like my supost boyfriend who lived in my apt almost two years and even I give him my love,been generous in many aspects he never gave me credit for how nice I was, also accepted his son leaving with us and he never gave me any credit. Then blame his Christian religion to stop have intimicy with me since this wwek. Even he went to church last Tuesday he did call me old!! Because I told him I would like to heard from his Pastor about if this changes are normal.
For my experience I would like to confirm that most of the persons treat wrong to a good people very unfair and wick! But with bad people they have more respect or fears to abused them or called names. Then things slowly started changing he would always refer to me as bitch and I told him numerous times not to call me that and he would shove it off and say he was joking an continue to disrespect my wishes. Then he would lie to me about going to Hang it with his ex and came over one night trying to cover up hickies.
All and all I trie to forget it an move forward with him. These weak men are empty and numb long before they duped us into believing they were sensitive and caring enough to put their selfish immature needs aside. He is deliberately trying to make you feel crazy, I gaurantee it. All i can advise is just cut off any attempts to fox things…they want to drain us of all energy so that we will be exhausted and confused and too tired to really wake up and ser the light! If I hear him approaching i make a plan to walk away or devide which household task will keep me from having to interact.
Because when he is mad all he can think is how to make me feel the pain even worse or how to shut me down so completely that i get stockholm syndrome and beg him to rescue me from it all. I just wanted to say good for you for be able to recognize this abuse pattern and question it. Please treasure yourself and relish the fact that you still have a choice and options to leave. Hi kiera I have been with a man on and off for 17 years and have 4 kids by him.
This guy sounds terrible. It looks like he wants you 2 feel bad about yourself 2 destroy your self esteem 2 be happy he sounds miserable and is sick eneogh to joke when he makes you feel bad. I have a similar problem with my kids father who is ten years older than me and im You seem so young and so beautiful. These thoughtless men most of the time i have seen dont change. They look for an opportunity 2 hurt a woman 2 keep them in further depression.
Please know i understand from A woman point of view I feel pain because i know what its like for a guy 2 hurt me emotional and laugh or pretend its a joke. This is serious and can affect your emotional health.
This guy sounds useless not good at all. I have been going through the same thing…the pain was too much. We love each other but I also have to protect myself. I felt instantly better for standing up for myself. Also if he really want to work on this, it will have to be at a safe distance before I can trust him with my heart again.
Such abuse often escalates to physical abuse and psychological manipulation. Please muster your strength and courage and find a safe place to live where he cannot access you -even if it means moving far away. Good luck to you! You can make good decisions. Im so sorry Keira. I know how it feels to. I also that those who have never actually felt depressed dont understand what you actually go through in your mind.
The sadness, emptyness, wanting to be alone, feeling like moving forward is pointless. He should not do this to you but help you with your illness. Your post is old but I hope he has stopped treatinf that way and things are better for you. Get away from him who says cruel things, then laughs it off. He is a manipulator of the worst kind, and here is why: But not you—because now you know about it.
One more time and you are out. You deserve a great guy who makes you feel loved and wonderful, all of the time. Well me n my boyfriend been fighting for two days he calls me names but I know its not right I do everything for him.
Sometimes someone can wind you up and you say stuff you regret. I think you have to look at the whole scenario, consider deeply how you feel and talk to someone close to you about it. You have to understand the differences too.
I would like advice… My boyfriend of a year and a half has been treating me very poorly. One of his female friends messaged me and was asking me questions like how do I knkw him yada yada yada…. She gets pissed when I post pics and fun things we do. I think if they live each other they should be together… He stays on Facebook and i mean he lives on social media. Not even for Christmas and I spent alot on his daughter.. His family loves me better than he does I think.
I need advice to weather I should move on or try to fix this bc I do love him. Just a few weeks back he was late getting home and he said he had to meet a friend and let her borrow money. What I saw was heartbreaking. The slut I mentioned earlier omg what he says to her I wish he said to me. I saw she traveled to be with him and he said that it was worth the wait and if she moved close to him she would be his.
He uses me to benefit his whores. He told this lady that he wanted her back a d what they used to have back. Ohh yeah after almost two years he refuses to post our relationship on Facebook bc he says he wants our relationship to be between us. Plz someone give me advice on what I should do. Plz and thank you. Like all relationships, everything was wonderful until I pointed out some things and how she disappointed me.
I hope God can give you strength and take care. Sounds like my ex boyfriend Igor. I promise you he is insecure and wants to dominate, no good. While yes, these things are definitely emotional abuse, there are other forms of emotional abuse that your partner may sneak in without you realizing it.
The worst part about this is that if your partner is an emotional abuser, they could be abusing you on a daily basis with these things. All this will do is lower your self-confidence and make you feel terrible about yourself. It can even cause you to suffer from depression without really knowing why. Why is my wife calling me useless. And the other days i do help i pay all the bills and everything in the house pluse paying the house girl.
Hi my boyfriend mentally abusing me. I would like to become friends with others that have been going through this because I go through this almost everyday and it just tears me to shreds sometimes i feel worthless because of it. Im going through the same , my boyfriend claims to love me and i believe him but not so much when he gets mad and irritable at me for the tiny things i do , like if i say no to doing something for him , or if i dont do as he says , or just not agreeing with him and having a difference in opinion triggers him.
Several things set him off , and i feel like its all my fault. I love him so much. Id do about anything for him. So funny your timing. I am in the process of trying to leave my abuser after 2 plus years of his constant abuse. I have some stories I could tell you my friend, and it would be great to have someone to share this all with as I am very alone here. My boyfriend calls me names all the time and it really hurts me. So much that my self esteem has lowered, and before him I was a very confident woman.
So he got very upset because I did that. And I wondered to myself is that a valid reason to get so angry with me???? He gets mad over anything!!!!!
He buys me anything… but his anger gets out of control sometimes and then he tells me to leave with my mom or dad. This family has issues mentally and they precieve life differently than I do.
I have anxiety and I feel depressed at times. My girlfriend calls me names constantly and im tired of it and she would insult me to the point where i would feel like im nothing and useless but that usually happens when shes angry and sometimes i doubt if she loves me or what.
I just went through this and I can honestly say it is one of the hardest things in the world. Take care and love to you. Im 54 and hes 52 In the past year when he gets mad he calls me all kinds of nasty names. I was abused as a child by my stepmother and ran away at age When he treats me like that it brings back all them memories as well. Anyhow the next day when we wake he is back to calling me baby ect. He acts as tho the night before never happened. We went out two more times, and he revealed himself to be an incredibly narcissistic, gloomy guy who was totally preoccupied with his career.
A few weeks later, I ran into a girlfriend at a party. Come to the Dark Side Three bars where nobody will care what you look like. I shook my head no. We all make the same mistake. You think an ugly guy will be more grateful and treat you better.
I once dated a guy so heavy he practically killed me every time he got on top, but he told me I was beautiful and he could never keep his hands off me, which I loved.
What Guys Said 6. I would most certainly not care at all. I wouldn't care at all, its just a name. It doesn't define the person. No not really but I would definitely give her a nickname that suited her: For some reason that appears to be a naughty smirk If you have an ugly name, you can always go by a nick name.
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I left my family in the Caribbean for this guy i fell in love with and he has mentally abused me for the last 7 years and we been together almost 11 yrs with 2 kids a 3yr old and an 8yr old and he says the most obscene things in front of them. Being comfortable in her skin goes a long way.
I am in the process of trying to leave my abuser after 2 plus years of his constant abuse. We love each other but I also have to protect myself. I thought, if he is with me and I am Hispanic then there is no way he is racist.
You deserve a great guy who makes you feel loved and wonderful, all of the time. I like to hear that. He is abusing me too dating someone with an ugly name. Dating someone with the same name self. Well I've found all the people I've dated attractive, but I've definitely dated someone where not my close friends but assholes who are friends by some association commented on her looks.
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