Truths About Dating in Your 30s
You sound exactly like me. I can definitely see the challenges of dating in that age range. Where I, Marian Green, write about romance, relationships, emotional connections, sex and life as a something woman with a penchant for falling in love. This one I think; haven't seen it either. Click on the report button, and send us a message with a link to the comments of the post. Image Macros that aren't memes are allowed
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The gym is a poor inititial investment if your job and social skills are lacking. I absolutely agree with you on that. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators Looking for something else? I'm stuck in a small town as well and it's not uncommon for girls to have kids straight out of highschool Reposts will be removed at the moderators' discretion. I am 31, my parents made it to 29 years of marriage before deciding they had to divorce.
You're tired of the comments from the peanut gallery and it feels like you're giving out interviews on first dates rather than going for the love connection. You try to have fun while dating, but it's getting old.
You're constantly explaining why you're divorced. If you have to explain the divorce story on another date one more time to a man that asks, you might start to bring along a taped recording for each date. A lot of men refuse to grow up. Holy unresolved issues, Batman! Not to mention you'll meet a man thinking, "Wow, he's in his forties or thirties.
He must be mature. And if you do snag a guy, it's possible you're meeting some of his baggage, like ex-wives and company. If you do meet a man, he may to be ready to procreate. If you meet and greet and it works when you're in your late thirties, it's not unusual for the wedding and kids to come quicker than later.
Online photo profiles can be filled with lies. Those cute online dating profiles? Those photos are older than dirt. The truth is stretched about almost every detail of their lives because there's a lot of fear and insecurity of not being accepted.
Men will still play games. The games are alive and well at all ages. Don't be surprised when a mature man asks you to "Netflix and chill" on the first date. It happened to me, and guess what? I watched Netflix at home with myself. And it was chill. The dude was ditched for good. I'm not a man-basher. Alcohol should not taste sugary and like candy. If you want that, have a juice or soda. I am a younger woman dating a man in his late 30s and women are the only ones who care on my end too.
Guys don't care at all who I date but middle aged women are always saying "Couldn't he be your father? Won't you wish you had someone your own age? You'll want someone younger in a couple of years" nah bitch, older men are where it's at. Middle aged men don't even comment "yes we are together" 'Okay cool but have you heard this album yet?
I kinda feel bad for women because marriage is made out to be such a big deal for them. I feel like it makes it hard for women to be happy unless they have some type of wedding and marriage like they have in all the chick flicks.
My issue with it is that I don't want to be someones gf for 50 years. If you love me that much commit to me, give me your name and we can start a family. I don't like the trend of "Oh I love you, move in and we will have 4 kids and when we are old you will still just be my girlfriend. I can understand that, I just feel like women let the idea of Marriage define them too much. It seems like there is a ton of pressure for women to get married and have an extravagant wedding.
Its just seems like women's lives are too often defined by a single day. I absolutely agree with you on that. My closest friend is getting married and her mother sent her the guest list. My friend had about people on her list with dates counted and everything and her mother sent her the "appropriate" list of people she thinks need to be invited.
My friend wants jello and other weird desserts instead of cake, her mother freaked out that her first daughter to be married would not have a classic wedding and was crying "How can you not want this? What will people think of you? You're ruining your future!
People are obsessive with weddings and it's a little scary. One of the many reasons I want not part of a marriage these days.
This paired with a good chance of divorce, the way most marriages seem like a horrible routine with little fun, as well as the fact that I have already been married and became a widower in my early 20's.
I'm pretty damn content on not getting married at this point. Single life just seems like a much better deal especially for men, although that is also kind of dependent on being a guy who can meet and attract women.
I might change my mind if that ever stops happening to be the case. Believe it or not this goes for men too. Have you met a nice girl yet? You're getting old enough already. Don't you want a lovely wife and children? I'd say there's an equal amount of pressure for men to get married honestly, because even if you go the route of being a successful business man you're still expected to have a wife and kids.
People will look at you weird if you're a guy in your 40s who's never been married or has no kids. Not nearly as much pressure as there is for women. I'm not aware of pressure to have a wife and kids as a successful business man.
I have worked with a few men who were above 40 without a wife and kids. I never got any idea that people thought they were weird. If any most the other men were jealous of their freedom. Same accept im a dude, I never understood my generation's trend to never marry. If you like someone enough to stay together for years and already live together and have kids, why not marry?
I think it might be because their parents divorced growing up and it had a lasting emotional impact on them. This is the way my brother's girlfriend of 8 years is, she refuses to get married because her parents had a divorce and it messed her up mentally. I got comments like that from my mom when I was dating a woman 6 years younger than me. I had to tell her to keep her opinion to herself.
Now I'm dating a woman 7 years older and there don't seem to be any complaints Dude, you're doing it right. Women in their early to mids aren't bitter or carrying baggage yet. Most don't mind dating a guy slightly older either. Older women will make the kinds of comments you mentioned, but it's either jealousy or bitterness. They realize that you are an eligible guy but they know that if they were suddenly single, you wouldn't date them. Yeah I definitely love the position I am in.
There is definitely a lot of bitter women in their 30's. They're angry at you because you're not settling down with your own used-up, formerly slutty year-old now desperate to get married because she's hit the wall and is rapidly declining in attractiveness. I'm a single mother who is an Architect and who has traveled to 28 countries, 5 of those with her kid, loves videos games, plays counterstrike, WoW, Battlefront, etc with her daughter, goes to comic conventions with her kid, runs marathons, actively lifts, goes to music festivals, etc.
Just because you are a single mother doesn't mean it's awful. You make life as exciting and amazing as you want. Fuck, my kiddo has been to more countries than most adults I know. They are just single mothers. Ive met some who have advanced degrees and owned their own homes.
And some who list their job as "full-time mommy". They are usually fun to date short term and after a failed marriage arent always looking to get hitched anytime soon.
They know them having kids is a problem and if you are honest and up front about your attentions it works out dor the best. In my experience ive met many single moms just looking for a fwb type thing.
I look at it this way, those are the people you don't want and now you have the ability to immediately recognize it so you can find the people you do want much faster! How exactly are younger guys attempts laughable just because you have brothers that age? That doesn't make any sense at all. And i'm in the worst shape of my life. I've got the largest range i'll ever have, which is 21 to about 42 or so, depending on mood. The younger ones want you because you don't fawn over them like guys do their age.
You've got some success, stability, and that "i give zero fucks" mentality. The older ones want you because you're younger, more attractive, and less stressed than their ex husband. You can also still get it up on command.
They want to have sex soon and often, too. There's some economic evidence that men "peak" in attractiveness at 34 and women at So I guess you have few years of fun left! As a guy reaching his mid-twenties I'm pretty excited for this. I plan to have all the boxes checked before I even hit Depends if you're a girl or guy. I am 34 now and I have dated nothing but mid 20s girls since I hit thirty.
I find it easier now, being more successful in my career and with a lot of girls liking guys a bit older. Give zero fucks whether they like you or not.
There's so many options that you cannot let yourself get hung up on one. When they know you don't need them, they want you badly. Having the money helps. Being a young guy in college dating college girls your age is rough when you don't have a lot cash. I found it damn near impossible.
I was able to convince a few girls I was worth getting naked in front of, but now it takes a lot less convincing. You don't find the age difference effects how you two relate and what phase she is in her life now compared to your own? I'm 32 and I find 25 yr old guys attractive for sure, but they would have to be pretty mature and collected at 25 to be in the same phase in life I am. At 25 I was a completely different person. I am thinking I am not alone on that kind of growth being normal for people.
I think we lag behind girls a good years. At least I sure do. A girl can't date a guy that's 25 in her thirties unless she is just looking to have some good old fashioned fun.
Obviously there are exceptions to the rule, but most guys in their 20s just want to bang as many women as they can and go out hunting every weekend. Only in my 30s did I even start to think about really settling down, but like I said I still enjoy the party, so girls in their 20s are perfect for me.
Most of the crazy is out of the pool. They are making their SO miserable or helicopter parenting their kid. I just turned 30 and got dumped after 4 years.
Go nuts, it's fun. Don't listen to these optimists. Don't be lazy thinking it's going to get better for you just because it worked out that way for somebody else. Dating for me hit a brick wall at Went from not terriby hard to now I can barely get a first date, get blown off left and right.
I'm 41 and have pretty much given up. You have no idea what you are doing if that is your dating pool in your thirties This is when all of those successful, single women start to realize that they are about to dry up and they lower their impossible standards Gotta decide if you're marriage material in 3 dates or less. I'm a little nutty, sure, but not completely whacked.
All my friends are married and have kids, several divorced already. I'm in no rush to do so, am just enjoying life. I notice it's all the older guys who look my way and I'm fine with that. Being single is great at 30! I find this to be the opposite. You really have it made at this age in my experience. My female friends always try to set me up with their friends. The list says, no daddy issues, no jealous ex's, no church every Sunday. This greatly cut down the crazy psycho quotient of my dating pool.
I have found as well that this checklist is important the hard way a few times.. The religious types scare me off nearly instantly. Especially as you mentioned if they are the ones who deny they need to work on some things and instead act like they're not in control, and that they're following "gods plan". There are so many reasons that feels so illogical to me..
I can definitely see the challenges of dating in that age range. Ive been seeing the makings of it more and more frequently the older me and people my age get. Everyone is getting pregnant, married, buying houses, joining finances etc. I've been single, no kids, no prior marriages and commitment free for three years now, and it's definitely working for me. However I can definitely see how this "pool" can become more and more shallow in the coming years..
Funny thing is it really hasn't changed composition all that much you just know what you're seeing now. Dating in your 30's is the bomb. I'm in the most happy relationship of my life. I'm 33 and she's IMO, any relationship had in your early twenties is a write off. You're both still teenagers. Fuck through your twenties, you're not mature enough to know what you truly want anyways. I got super lucky, I feel. I was married 11 years and got divorced in I'm about to turn 37 and getting married to my gf in April who's 28 and way hotter than I probably deserve.
Ya know wh en you see a guy and a hot girl together out some place and just think to yourself, "How the hell, man? Try dating in your 30's when you work nights. I don't even know where the fuck to go to meet new people.
Online dating is a horrible let down. I don't know, I only follow Rule 2 and it's not so bad. Steady stream of 20 something's in my Tinder queue. As a guy with a career and basic hygiene, I disagree. Things got way, way easier when I hit about Wait until you get to 40s.
That thing turns in to a kiddie pool with you sitting in it in a lounge chair with a 6 pack of beer because you just don't care anymore.
As it is, it's fucking hard to meet people in my town, which isn't helped by me working 6 days a week. That goes for friends as well as potential partners. And here's my facebook feed packed with people my age from school getting engaged and squirting out fuckin' kids. It will be harder to find new single friends when your existing friends are settling down and having kids No it fucking doesn't, you need drastic help but you're not doomed. You can change your future. I was decently successful in my 20's and it's shaping up just as bleakly for me at 40 so So glad I met my husband when I did.
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Imsges: dating pool in your thirties
The games are alive and well at all ages. It happened to me, and guess what? I think we lag behind girls a good years.
The younger ones want you because you don't fawn over them like guys do their age.
No link shorteners or HugeURL in either post links or comments. That's fine if that's your thing, but the lack of maturity that comes with it is a major turn-off for me, and probably the type of meaningful relationship most people are probably looking for in their 40s. Hope he costs of dating that prenuptial. That thing turns in to a kiddie htirties with you sitting in it in a dating pool in your thirties chair with a 6 pack of beer because you just don't care anymore. I dunno, after reading your other comments, I think you're rude, nasty rating so miserable about your own life you insult dating pool in your thirties. As a 24 year old, I wish more older chicks 30's would hit on me.
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