Younger Man / Older Woman
The risks are way too high and the morals are way too low. Is this not the future we want to achieve for all men? Secondly, that man is using you. In other words, it could never get that far, before collapsing. The US government followed closely by the governments of the UK and Canada are at the forefront of spreading feminism around the world, breaking up families, and shitting on decent family men everywhere.
Take The Quiz: Do You Trust Him?
A lot of hurt. Later on he said he wanted to meet me and just the two of us together spending time talking and he said he wants to hug me. He did make up his mind though that he planned to move back home at the end of his lease to be with her. Conservatives generally think for themselves, instead of all saying and thinking the same thing. He made it very clear that taking it slow also means that we get to know each other before any sex is involved so I know he is not using me sexually. Elissa Real eye-opener you got there, Eric!
Hatch R-Utah said in a speech in June on the Senate floor. It is important to note that this is not about recouping money from convicts who can afford to support their children. This is about maintaining a credible threat to other men, as a reminder that they must do everything in their power to earn the amount the courts have assigned as their production quota.
Billing these incarcerated men costs far more than any amount actually collected, and by making it harder for them to succeed after release it also makes them more likely to end up back in prison.
If for women power is the ultimate aphrodisiac, then divorce and threats of divorce are a type of climax. Enslaving men who failed to give lasting tingles is a special tingle of its own. It is a character flaw among many to desire the admiration and attention of women, this condition is on steroids in the political class. A successful divorce threat inevitably leads to disaffection towards the successfully cowed.
The only risk that concerns a woman is the risk to herself. Any appearance of love and concern is for the self interest of being seen as a good person. Not often needed because of the heroic victim status of single mom is enhanced with her heroism if the family does well or not. Under the right circumstances that same wicked selfish motivation will actually be of pure virtuous behavior with character as flawed as any childish psychopath.
Let that sink in. I find the same problem with the lefties on abortion and the death penality. Kill the inicent and show mercy on the cruel among us. This is a society that demands, insists, that men give all the best years of their lives to chasing after women, whom that same society strongly encourages to not give even a single one of their best years to men.
Talk about Repubs diligently finding new reasons for people to not vote for them. The GOP is called the party of white men, but this is exactly what might drive their last major voting bloc away.
Man, cuckservatives are horrible. They are to the political landscape what manginas are to female attraction triggers.
This is how feminine imperative based societies are run. In fact no destruction is occurring at all what you are seeing are improvements towards equality for all women. Cuckservatives claim to be the party of liberty and the American Dream, yet this is how cuckservatives treat men, particularly a family man who works hard to provide for his kids rather than focus on generating gina tingles for his wife:. There will be no meaningful reforms.
Women, feminist or otherwise, will never give up the gross imbalance of power in their favor. The system must collapse. Feminism progressed with the assumption that it could change the fundamentals of civilization and men would just stay the same. I was wondering how that SJW concept was going to spread outside of campuses, here it is already working its way into marriage everywhere!
And it happened so fast! There is no appeal, there is no one who will sympathize with you, you belong to us. Your wife chose to divorce you therefore you are no longer a person. If you are placed into bondage, whipped everyday, told its your fault, and cannot meet the ever increasing demands the state puts on you have nothing to lose. You will lose it all slowly and be left with nothing other than old age and a tiny rented storage unit to live in after all is said and done.
The systems most pernicious and least publicized feature is that puts fathers firmly beneath their own children in terms of authority.
Anytime daddy disciplines or displeases them all they have to do is cry to mommy who immediately calls in the state to stomp on that man and put him in his place.
A chance to punish her ex who is totally at fault for her decision to divorce? After he is brought low beneath her feet she realizes that YES! Look at this simpering weakling why did I wait so long?!?! Pick up and leave. Work on getting a second passport and leave the plantation for good.
You are their pathetic father who their mother uses for money and who occasionally goes to jail. Be able to look at yourself in a mirror. If they EVER try to do this to you get away and live.
Be free my sons. Anon I guess he got behind on his child support after that work place injury. The deadbeat son of a bitch. If conservatives want the conservative family back, they need to bring back the conservative mechanisms that defended the marriage institution in the past.
The other, bigger, part is that it makes them feel superior to even talk about deadbeat dads in comparison to themselves. There is no personal incentive to adjudicate between men who were reasonably divorced before going on to legitimate deadbeat dads, and the vast majority of men whose wives, lives, and jobs were swept away in the divorce maelstrom.
They are easily juked. In the case of how should children be raised, the zero degree of error line is that fathers should raise and support their children. So when someone like Obama whose father is degrees from the zero error line.
He was the epitome of the deadbeat dad: This makes Obama seem reasonable, and themselves crazed because…. Commitment issues Reaction Times. Speaking of using divorce as a threatpoint, I just remembered a piece of management advice: Never give an a leaving employee a counter-offer and never take one if given.
The pair of articles make an interesting counterpoint and could easily be reworked to be about a relationship rather than employment. The married man usually tries to honor his commitment, so stops looking at other women.
That means that the wife, no longer has any competition, and gets bored and goes looking. Later — the attention gets her to act on her needs to prove to herself that she is still attractive. That is why they come back stage — to see if they can get one of the guys in the band to bed them — rather than the other women. Same thing — they are competing…. So she goes from acting like a spoiled child — to trying to win him back. They are constantly trying to one-up each other, sometime two try to gang up to get the other out.
The smart man uses that — the dumb one, gets left. I am not convinced of that, except in the indirect sense. My mother claimed her kicking my dad out so many years ago was to protect my sister and me. That is not logical in the slightest, because he was not abusive, just absent, somewhat in her eyes and somewhat in reality. Yet she did not date after that nor seek outside companionship, in large part due to her likely misplaced and not completely accurate loyalty to my sister and me. I would agree that her commitment as flawed as it was is much less common today.
You forget imputed income. Get nailed on an especially productive year and you can never catch up. The same is true for many famous men who were at peak earnings relatively early in life athletes and musicians, in particular. Some very famous men are completely broke, due to this. Why do I suspect that tradcons will be the final holdouts, demanding that men suffer while women party. I believe even the most vicious man-hating feminists will eventually relent on their manhate before the religious right will.
I say that as a member of the religious right. And yes, I do battle with my own kind every day. I regularly challenge them in the most stringent of words. An enemy I can accept. A traitor I cannot. Rather I believe Obama is trying to create another constituency opposed to sending criminals to prison. Notice that Obama is not at all pushing to stop accruing child support to men who have lost their incomes—not even because of hospitalization, are wrongly identified as fathers, etc.
Thank you for this analysis. It helps me to see why I feel so pressured by the media and even psychologists to find flaws in my relationship and bitch about it. But no woman friend of mine, hard core feminist or anyone else would truly love me and make me feel protected as much as my husband does. I wish they would stop trying to destroy our families and make it seem natural and empowering to us women. It will take time on a literally generational scale 25y?
Some here including myself consider that to be merely an extension of the social destruction and disintegration discussed here generally. As has been said many places elsewhere, dishonesty can only be profitable anywhere, so long as honesty is still fashionable somewhere. I cannot think of a social arrangement better guaranteed to end in extremently violent social upheaval.
In other words, it could never get that far, before collapsing. Good luck with that, hunh? There are various costs associated, which put this out of the reach of most men, and most young men. So, the potential of this social situation exists everywhere, and the globalization of culture People watching Dallas reruns in Tanzania, Science Fiction stories written in Mandarin Chinese in , on sale in English translation on the shelves at Schuler Books in , etc.
I am confident that the window for this is closing again, on a generational time-scale. Except, that is, in those cultures out there that reject utterly the Western Civilizational Values off of which Political Feminism parasitizes. Take all your money to Las Vegas and count your winnings.
I meant to write: Take all your life to The Altar and count your blessings. Which of course, these days, is so remarkably different from taking all your money to Las Vegas, etc. If any of you can see something I left off this list, I would really like to know about it. Consequently, all I can see up ahead, is social collapse. But my second question is directed at everyone else: Do you actually foresee the possibility of any other outcome than social collapse if so, what, why, and how?
Finally, the tone of this posting and the content shared in the comments above remind me of a quote from the Catholic writer, G. Chesterton, writing about a century or so ago:.
The political job of the Conservatives, is to prevent any of these mistakes from being corrected. Conservatives generally think for themselves, instead of all saying and thinking the same thing. Liberals today generally all walk in lock-step.
The Hatch example does not prove your point. There, the issue was who should have to pay for the kids, their parents, or we the tax payers via the state or federal government. Liberals could care less, and conservatives favor personal responsibility. If somebody owes a car payment or a mortgage, such payments do not get put on hold while somebody is incarcerated. I oppose abortion, but given the current state of our laws, to be truly fair, we should give men a right to give up all rights to the unborn child, and in return never be bothered by child support.
If she chooses to bear the child after the purported father refuses to have anything to do with it, then the entire responsibility for raising and caring for the child should be borne by her. As it currently stands, a man has zero say in whether she has an abortion, or whether she makes him pay for the bastard for the next twenty-one years…. Not the whole story in many places, I cannot say nationwide. They do not get their child support adjusted to zero, or some percentage of the 25 cents per hours they make for stamping leather or cleaning dishes.
They do not get their accumulated unpaid support erased on the day of incarceration. It sits and the monthly nugget stays the same. They need to be awarded a change based on change of work status and this may involve an appearance in family court and will be a judge decision, which may or may not go the inmates way.
When he is out of prison he is immediately expected to get caught up, or, again, get to family court and beg for mercy. You miss the point.
The law is unjust. It puts men in a lose-lose: I sympathize with your irritation but when you suggest what Dalrock -seems to advocate- you are falling into a rhetorical gimmick used by leftists and feminists, and you are not making a serious argument. You must not know much about child support and the incarcerated.
It seems you are picturing a certain demographic to which this applies. Any man can and many are actually pushed into a situation where the ability to actually make his support payments becomes asymptotic. You feel so very free to slander conservatives from behind an anonymizing handle that there are two questions I simply must ask: What is your real name, oh brave keyboard warrior?
What label do you apply to your own political convictions? Might you be a liberal, perhaps? Either that, or a keyboard that accidentally fell into the chimp enclosure at the Denver, Colorado zoo. I dont care about your real name. I let myself get sucked into this discourse again. Because it is de rigueur these days to sit above ideologies and smugly find ones own belief set to be more nuanced.
I dont care what your ideology is, nor that you would twist hither and yon to avoid being categorized…. So much so that is is the epitome of being pedestrian, too clever by four sevenths in its straining to be different.
In that way, its as painfully predictable as what you eschew. Yes you know a self described conservative who reconciles practice and preaching. I could be wrong. It is a pattern in that cohort however and goes with beer snobbery and foody-ism. I guess if you are in that , like any of us steeped in anything, its the water to the fish in how it hides from its own self awareness.
Empathy is something that is best kept under control. Because as a concept it is nonsense. Sympathy, indeed is lacking among the conservatives you describe.
I do wish these pile on comments re conservatives came with a requirement that the writer lay out the specifics of his own nuanced beliefs besides just hitting the easy targets easy on this blog because we all agree that the conservatives who support child support and other misandry are bad news.
If there is found one vestige of SJW buried in these nuanced views it negates the fish in a barrel treatment of the wrong headed conservatives. I must differ with you on that, Yac-Yac. Unwillingness to stand behind your convictions opens the door to all sorts of suspicions. This is especially the case when one trades in insult, denunciation, and vilification. Among other things, it makes me think first and speak only afterward, a practice far too many persons appear to regard as too encumbering.
I suggest you find a new hobby. Women put such expectations on marriage that it can hardly fail to disappoint. Or at least western women. An older female friend of mine in effect my honorary mother once asked a woman from some country where arranged marriages are normal whether women in her country expected marriage to make them happy.
The woman looked at her like she was crazy. I had not originally realized the previous two statements were meant to be paired. Thanks for making us see it. No one knows for sure who or what goes with you and that. Its tough to side with you when you are throwing denunciation etc. Im trying to support your POV here. Seems the cuckservatives have their panties in a bunch, eh Francis?
Not from the Christian perspective. MGTOW is centered around the belief that people are ultimately more important than nations and civilizations just as the Bible teaches. Is this not the future we want to achieve for all men? Without divine intervention, this moral virus will run its full course. This reality is temporary. As surely as Hell exists, they will not enjoy the next.
Who cares what pretentious Francis J. Porretto says about anonymity? He slanders the host of this blog as well as all anonymous commenters. Who are you and what have you done with the real Francis W.
Same situation in the Canadian province of British Columbia. What does Ayn Rand have to do with Bill Buckley?!? Francis is the typical cuckservative who thinks he stands for morals, but who is a pussy-whipped coward when it comes to holding women to any standards at all. What it gives men the men who do it , is some measure of immunity from the sociological horror and legal brigandage of it all. Which is, I think, the point you were trying to make? Thanks I in fact did mis-cite to the wrong Dr.
Should not visit the sins of the father upon the child. I have a more radical approach. Ban abortion and all infants born to unwed mothers go straight into sealed burned record adoption. Even being raised in a modern orphanage would be better than condemning an innocent child to being raised by an irresponsible, hormone-addled lone parent. The first time a Ms.
The false glamour of being a teen mom married to the State will evaporate. Shame will return to do what the State can not. Same goes for divorced parents. The father can choose to raise the child himself by the same rules that currently apply to female unwed parents—this includes putting the child up for adoption. Females not married to fathers have no rights to children. Again, Shame reappears to do her necessary corrective work on the culture of female misbehavior and the State child custody and support industrial complex shuts down.
Yeah, the thought of requiring females to bear the child support burden for, oh, the next hundred years is appealing but men are too magnanimous to do that. In Family Law was at a great remove from what it is today…. Once father-only custody post divorce was undone, all that followed was just the inevitable roll downhill.
Obviously he needs to be placed on a physical offenders register to warn other women of this potential to reoffend. Leftist like Obama only support such polices as mentioned in this post, because it has a larger positive impact on black men in prison.
It is as follows: Just look at that chick the other day Kelly McFee or something? We may be past critical mass, but I prefer to focus on obedience rather than expedience. One way that I can fathom escaping social collapse is, repentance that begins in the house of the Lord.
It may take a generation plus, but if the professors that train pastors, teach those future pastors to preach, teach, counsel and rule according to the biblical order of the home, those reforms will begin to take root in the culture. One manifestation of those reforms include: At a society level Church going voters will begin to see reforms and ballot initiatives that restore the biblical order and the world of spinsters with their cats and narcissistic sluts will stand a stark contrast to what is the blessings of patriarchy.
Right now a false narrative of selfish men who impregnate women and then abandon them is running virtually unopposed, but soon a new narrative of hypergamous females who destroy the lives of men and take their children will get public traction. Laws will reflect the new understanding. Unfortunately, if the church does not lead again those laws will make things equal and restore biblical order.
I expect that such a course correction to biblical patriarchy will lead to riots in Ephesus, when those who profit of the selling of the feminist idols witness their livelihood threatened, but the truth of the Word of God has survived much more in the past and will continue to prevail as long as there are those in the Church that are willing to follow the Word no matter what may come.
I was being hyperbolic. The mothers will still get state funding. You may not think it is a race issue, but Obama does. Its tough to side with you [Francis W. Porretto] when you are throwing denunciation etc. Doing it right means doing it like the condescending conservative. They keep following along. Cane Maybe we need a new identifier. Conservative will be cuckservative. Then we will have the identifier for the current connotation for conservative though as discussed here for a red pill man is a negative should be a red piller or some other derivative of the words.
Plus, if this is true, why are the lonely white nationalists at Stormfront so unhappy, when precisely this is their sole goal? There are a number of serious distinctions between establishment conservatives and the people on the new right who want to rename the establishment conservatives and hijack their label.
Conservatives are cuckservatives because they are being true to the US Constitution. These people are currently trying their hardest to elect a crazy woman who is openly a feminist: The US government followed closely by the governments of the UK and Canada are at the forefront of spreading feminism around the world, breaking up families, and shitting on decent family men everywhere. Conservatives cuckservatives openly talk about going to war against countries for not being feminist enough and have done so in the recent past.
In short, the establishment hates you. Forget about the government and its constitution. Start building a new and healthy society of your own, in your own house and neighborhood. What it really was, was such a deterrent.
Multiple unwed babymamas would usually get their first kid seized and adopted out to a normal family, and be warned not to do it again. On subsequent offenses, the women would be arrested after the childbirth and shuttled off to a quick trial and a few months in a work camp someplace. It was apparently very effective in convincing women to get married, or at least quit whoring around without birth control.
In China, today, unwed babymammas are taxed extra, to make up for the burden their irresponsible behavior puts on society and their neighbors. If a woman has multiple unwed pregnancies, it is not uncommon for her to be arrested and taken down to the clinic for a mandatory hysterectomy. No consent form needs to be signed and her opinion is not wanted.
There are, what, five hundred different methods of birth control, most of which are totally subsidized and free for women through social programs? Anon, I would imagine Stormfront, like most white racialist organizations, are very male, particularly because white women live in a culture where not much is at stake for them in their perception.
White women on the other hand, as the majority demographic in the US, and with cucked husbands in positions of power, always benefit. This has been completely rigged for white women. The fact that other women benefit is merely a reverse co-opting after-the-fact. All those cucked legislatures, politicians and judges have been doing the bidding of what is essentially the upper class feminists want them to do.
It has, pound for pound, benefited white women the most, via cash and prizes. About five minutes after affirmative action became the law of land, white women successfully co-opted it, as it become the norm in all aspects of our culture.
Thus, we have hilarious situations where never mind middle class white women from middle class families with brothers—getting affirmative action—we have the Sandra Flukes of the world getting all sorts of perks to get into colleges, medical school, law school, internships at big companies, jobs, promotions, etc.
The hand that rocks the cradle baby. For traditional marriage and family values until it comes to happy-wife-happy-life or no-fault divorce. And even those who have, most often double down. The re-ordering will, I predict, go along natural fault lines geographically, and racially.
Well we have to change the definition of conservative from cuckservative to red pill conservative. Or help along with the collapse. How can any man, in good conscience, marry any western woman under these conditions. The risks are way too high and the morals are way too low. There is very little honor left among women. Husbands and marriages are disposable products to consume. When they are broken or a newer model comes around you simply throw the old away and replace it….
Interesting line I caught tonight on Downton Abbey. She tells him her marriage to the man she chose over him was a happy one. I found one born and raised in a good family still intact and observed her parents. Made sure she was crazy about me and that was that.
Rarer than it should be but not impossible. Every single thing he suggests is wrong. Let me tell you a secret. Women want to screw MEN. Harly…Dumbass…let me argue in a way that you will understand. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the freaking Prophets help me. Most cases show stunning improvement in sexual compliance and…who could have guessed….
Harly…Dumbass…there is this great instruction manual on marriages you should read some time. It is called the Bible. I recommend you begin with Genesis Chapter 3 and then read the Song of Solomon. You will find a considerable amount of marriage advice in the New Testament. You know, like your female ambush coupled with sexual denial technique that is surely in Scripture- Why it is Chapter 3 of the Book of Oprah.
What makes you think teaching Biblical truths will take root in Seminaries any time soon? Bro, take the Red Pill and read more before you continue pissing people off with your ill conceived ideas. Also, your a dumb ass if you think that it is safe to post on manosphere blogs under your actual name. My job as a professor is certainly not safe and many, many guys who post on these blogs could be hurt very badly.
Feminist troll brigades could organize a letter writing to campaign to your employer and by taking your words out of context, easily get you fired. I have 25, posts as Bluepillprofessor and I am quite certain somebody could find something to get offended about somewhere in what I have written.
Plus, much of the manosphere is about sexual strategy so…it is easier to tell all sexual escapades when you are not potentially embarrassing your wife. The Chi-Coms have it right. I did not know they were doing this and it explains an awful lot about our relative decline in a single generation. Here I thought it was all about economic systems but it appears that other factors are at work in the rise of the Dragon and the relative decline of the West.
An idea for you Dalrock: Take all of this data, plus funds and make a hard-hitting documentary that exposes all of the rot that the Sexual Revolutions have caused.
Expose the cultural Marxism, the federal funding, the tacit approval of divorce at the highest levels of government. Not only is this Biblical Luke 8: Good points in your reply to feeriker way up thread. Claiming a lack of empathy while exhibiting the same is like the pot calling the kettle black. The writings of Dalrock and others have shown that people are the problem. People will remain with us even if you shot every last pastor tomorrow. It is ultimately called sin.
Ignoring that makes for bad policy. The Great American Man Shortage was the title of a book written in The Rules of the Titanic are in effect: And maybe drag as many of the morons who contributed to the disaster down along with you!
Then combine that with the reputation of women to use this system to abuse their husbands with frivolous divorces. Then further combine that with the reputation of women in the US of being genuinely horrible wives anyway. Now how, under these circumstances, can we do anything other than encourage single men to refuse to marry, MGTOW, and loudly make their reasons for refusing known?
As long as men continue to volunteer for abuse and legalized extortion the abuse and slavery will continue. Men marrying under these grotesquely unfair circumstances only encourages the abuse to continue. Can you filter out the losers? I say that you can. Train yourself to stay in an iron frame no matter the 5h1t tests that a woman sends at you. Have a plan to tame the shrew. You may have to relocate to a more man-friendly country for the first month. You will need to go absent a lot and keep her corralled, preferably by a woman servant whom you trust to implement your plan.
You will need to make your woman dependent on you and looking forward to seeing you, like prisoners kept in darkness for years want to see the sun. Find a girl who tingles for you and is submissive to you and is attractive to you and who was corralled by her father while she was maturing.
Apply your plan to her ruthlessly. Oh, I just realized that you readers might not understand my strategy which I stole from Bill the Bard aka William Shakespeare. How do you make sure this women is that faithful? That is the flaw and circular part of your plan.
This is exactly what I was getting at in my last post that apparently struck a few raw nerves. Question them separately and subtly. Without that, she will be much, much more limited as to which partner she could cheat with, as they would need to look like her husband. It also increases the likelihood of baby, so that in and of itself is a deterrent to fun and games. Worth a thought in any case. When they went to court the Husband told the Judge that he was Married under Muslim Law and as a result he should be divorced under Muslim law.
When they went to the Imam to request a divorce the woman was told that she could leave and be free but only allowed to take exactly the things she came to the marriage with, since she was the one who wanted to leave. If you want to get married, make sure you get a pre-nup, iron clad and legally binding that says if you wife wants to divorce she cannot take your kids, she is not entitled to alimony and she cannot get your house.
She can leave with only what she brought to the table and whatever money she contributed to the family funds. I can guarantee that there will be a serious decline in Divorce rates if more men did this. Until there is Zero incentive to Divorce and ones to stay married this madness will not end….. I started plying game when I was a teenager. Game here is like medicine for a shotgun wound, game is not the answer it only helps a little bit. Why was she taking birth control then? Thanks for that Dearie.
First, children cannot sign a prenup, any children produced in the marriage will void the prenup. A Christian man I knew from church for many years started a business, worked very hard for a decade, married started a family. Once the kids were in school wife stuck her nose in the business. If thats not special enough try true story number two. A Christian man I knew with three daughters was going to bible college and the almost automatically accompanying financial hardship.
Years later I met up with the daughters with whom I had been friends. In the course of their mothers Eat,Pray,Love escapades all three of the girls had been sexually molested by one or more of the losers their mother whored around with.
I have heard that some unmarried women use birth control to control irregular periods. No idea if that is valid however as I am not a doctor. Any pre-nup is subject to dismissal by the presiding judge. Unfortunately, the precedents and laws in a state could change. The judge decides that, and your signed agreement is worthless.
In practice, whether they call it sole custody or joint, the majority of the custody goes to the woman.
It is not based on actual support requirements, but rather how much the father makes. And the mother can spend it on anything, without accountability. The only limitations I know of for these problems are: So the husband does not own them, and thus the family court judge cannot claim them. But the rules will be different for each state. At the least I am sure he would need to set up this trust before marriage.
A lawyer previously suggested the trust might not be adequate, although I have seen news articles indicating a judge failed to raid the trust, so it might depend on how the trust is created and what state you are in. Make sure princess knows she will get nothing if she breaks up the family. He cannot stop her from using the police to steal his children, but he can stop the system from turning him into a slave.
Not really that difficult, since I find most masculine women to be undesirable. Which is not to say my God-given desires do not exist; simply that the north American women I typically see choose to be inadequate. Seriously, take any female in or past adolescence to the doctor with a chronic complaint. From now on all my online dating profiles will start with the following qualification. I only date women who cannot take hormonal birth control due to severe side effects!
Seriously, doctors seem to have been programmed to put all women on contraceptives for off label purposes i. Hell, I know 11 year olds who were put on the pill. A woman in my family divorced, lived with a few guys, married a couple of them, and her daughter was sexually touched by one of the sons of the man coming in.
Too bad children do not stay with their father. Statistically, the biological father is the best protector the children have. Of yeah, we can trust our medical professionals to act with wisdom and our best interests in mind… Same with lawyers, judges, politicians,. Well I am going to leave him alone, he needs to work this out for him self. So I was in a relationship for 7 months and everything was going great.
He was the one that made it official and exclusive relationship after 2 months. He was the one that spoke about the future and told me he was serious about me etc. Not once was I ever pushy or forced anything. He introduced me to his parents. Then shortly after that he started avoiding calling and seeing me but would still message every day. Was I right to ignore him and was this guy messing me around? I kind of think there is a bit of a difference in what this article describes and a man who is a commitment phobe.
In my mind and commit phobe is not holding out for the next best thing. I purposely look for articles like this and stories of rejection to keep me strong enough to never allow him back in my life. I know that this is a tough experience for anyone regardless of why and who, so I want to say to all the heartbroken ppl To try and heal and move on. There is certainly someone in this world who truly wants to give you all of their love. This article is harsh but it is SO on point.
And about the texting…. I would rather be hurt and know the truth than be lied to under the premise of saving my feelings. This article makes my heart hurt. Been there done that. And even though Ive successfully moved on and happily married, I ache for anyone in this position.
Its incrediably painful to be treated like this, and yes there seems to be an epidemic of this kind of douche bag behaviour. Its not the behaviour of a gentleman. He wouldnt lead on someone he was fond of. The person who treats me this way I do believe was a true comitment phobe, as he had never ever had a relationship. But, he also thought he could do better. He push pulled me and hurt me incrediably. I ended up despising him.
What was funny is that was three years ago. Recently I ran into him and he tried to pick up on me, until he recognized who I was.
He was all drugged out and surely no prize. He looked lonely and on the make. I thought oh well you thought you could do better. Im very glad to be with a kind man and a gentleman. Cool — remember, at the end of the day, you have the ultimate power in a relationship… the power to choose to participate or not ….
We have so much more power than we realize. I have step out on him twice. I was being patient, and being the girl he poured his heart out to. He seemed to really like me, a lot. Thanked me for being in his life. We talked morning noon and night. BUT, I never laid it out to him that I wanted a commitment, because of fear of rocking the boat.
Had I laid it out to him, I would have known then.. This completely describes my relationship and situation in a nut shell. She has always had hope to marry me and is now turned 28 after rejecting other guys for marriage in the hope that she would end up staying with me for the rest of her life.
However from me she has always been my emotional crutch, but I never had feelings for her. But my heart kept stopping me. The women has literally gave me all her life and she would die for me if she could but I just cant do the same in return. The fact that I am not giving commitment and her waiting on me for so long has completely ruined her life.
When I do try and give a chance and think ok lets get married… I literally can not do it, the anxiety I feel just takes over my life. Knowing that we spent 5 years together. I am so confused! If you care about her at all, stop being selfish and let her go. Hurt her now so she can eventually have a happy, real relationship. I was in placeholder relationship and I turned it around.
And to move on. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for half a year. We had really good chemistry and had a really good times together frequently laughing and having good conversations. The sex was really good too. But then after about 6 months things started to change a bit.. He always had a good excuse for only being able to see each other once a week. I got an oppertunity to rent a two-bedroom apartment and I asked him if he thought we should try and live together and after I mentioned this he said no, and that we were going to fast.
Then, finally we met just recently and we agreed before hand that we wanted to meet and talk about things in order to still make it work. I got confirmation for my intuition that he has been backing off since our relationship got better and better.
He said that it freaked him out. Moreover, he got even more freaked by out last conversation where I talked honestly and openly about my future desire to create a family and started to look like a small rolled-up ball about to fall off my sofa. However, we agreed it was too early to end it and that we need to give it time. The rest of the night he was quite cold, mean, and had much rejection towards me.
So, I ended up breaking up with him the next day for his very bad behavior towards me. Now, I am quite crushed. Leave it at that now and give yourself a pat on the back for honouring your self-worth.
I wish I had done similar a few months ago. Look it up on the internet. You simply break all contact with him. Get on with your own interests and hang out with your girlfriends. At the end of the 60 days you will see him clearly for who he is and will not want him back.
If he tries to get you back within the 60 days, you could give him another try if you want, but make sure it is on your terms, not his. He either progresses the relationship, or let him go. The latter might be best, as it is unlikely he will change. It is better to be alone than with the wrong man, and your bad experience will enable you to see the signs if they happen again, and ensure that you develop a relationship with a mature man who wants commitment.
You did the right thing! I am a guy in the 7th month of a relationship that is exactly like the one you described and this post describes.. The only difference is that one night she talked about moving together and future I got cold on her because I am very unsure about her but very emotionally attached and I love spending time with her.. I am very confused it really sucks!.. I have not ever been so comfortable with someone like her but I was not sure from the beginning I always felt we are just different but everything from conversations, laughs , sex , happiness has been great and on the same level it did not drop for the last 7 months..
He has to keep looking for the younger, slimmer or whatever woman.. A man with emotional maturity will recognise when he has formed an emotional bond which will last the course.
Get the hell away from this man and find a proper grown-up. This is SO true. In the beginning he came on strong, then after about 6 months, he started to change. In Jan , after a nice exchange of Christmas gifts and a discussion about the future we had never really discussed the future he bolted.
I finally wrote him a very long letter in November just finally telling him how I felt and that I needed to move on with my life and wished him well. We have been seeing each other on a monthly basis we live 1. Anyway, I noticed he was on a dating site but not anymore he cancelled in March and things were going good.
However, the last few times I saw him, he was becoming critical of little petty things I did i. I saw him 10 days ago and we had a very nice time and that was the last I heard from him. I noticed he left part of his uniform for work at my house so I texted him twice within a 5 day timeframe and he never responded.
Keep in mind, I had only texted him twice in those five days prior and that was because I wondered if he needed his work pants. Clearly, he got freaked out again or met someone else. I still love him and have to stop myself from contacting him but I know that the best thing for myself is to move on. He dated a woman whom I believe he truly loved, for six years and they never discussed marriage and she left him for someone else. So, while I think he believes the grass is always greener, I also do believe he is a true commitment phobe.
I need to move on, as hard as it is, but I feel like I will never feel for anyone the way I feel for him but I also know that there has got to be someone better out there for me. Time to let it go. You only can connect with similar level of values, remember internet has pushed the world open you can try all available opportunities abd you never get where you want and you think life is easy that wayBUT you never get where you want, you dont upgrade you just stay still, you are just an audience.
Marriage is an upgrade of single live, you need a good money to run a marriage, women have changed in money earning department, you need uograde to envision todays men and women living in harmony, most advice are obsolete cause only the most genuine, kind and wise will be dare and focus enough to upgrade w that vision, the rest are just audience no matter how deep media tries to analyze it. I would rather have sex than date.
If a man knows that he can get numerous girls, why would he want to be exclusive with just one girl? Hmmm I have to disagree with this. Of course, this is true for many men. And I think often you can tell if the guy really, truly, likes you or not.
Which makes me usually end it or pull away. Both of them came from very dysfunctional households drug addiction and alcoholism. All of a sudden they flipped. One got demoted at work. And another literally went missing for a day. In both cases, there was a strong connection. And trust me he tries. So yeah you could be a placeholder or he really might just be commitment phobic. It really depends on the situation. At the end of the day ladies, you know in your gut if someone really likes you and disappeared or was just using you because he was bored.
I am patient, T. Not being over T. I knew by this point that I probably was in a placeholder relationship and needed to make a change.
This is also when I came across this site and realized I had to learn to be happy on my own, working on that now. So I texted T. To be clear, I really am giving my other dates an honest chance and really will walk away if any of them become serious which I have told him too. Eric all of your advice is exactly what I needed. Your insights apply directly to the relationship I have with this guy I have been seeing these past few months.
He has been going through a lot of issues with work and he has been getting more and more depressed.
Imsges: dating guys with commitment issues
I just feel bad that all of a sudden I didnt reply. I ended up falling for him its the first time in years I felt that way..
Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". Hence the flak you are getting here, is my guess.
Which of course, these days, is so remarkably different from taking dating guys with commitment issues your money to Las Vegas, etc. The Hatch example does not prove your point. I was his designated driver…smh. You miss the point. She wrote me love letters and everything and she only lived two hours away from me. What do you feel when he drinks? Please help me what to do now….