What Do Guys In Their 20’s Want With Women In Their 40’s?
Ladies, if you have this chance then why not enjoy? This the third relationship in my life, but the most loving. Fit thin men are with fit thin women and heavier guys are with heavier women. And the reality is, in our economic era there will have to be a lot more dual cart-pulling, particularly if one or both people don't shed evolve beyond the yoke of consumerism and leveraged lifestyles. We even came back a couple of times, because we enjoyed talking with him. No one has been hospitalized for being too thin in the United States for the last two years.
You are right that Chinese men are like that. Afterwards, it's all dependent on someone's own individual smell and the products they use body lotion, perfume, shampoo, deodorant, body splash, etc. Pew Research , based on a survey of 3, adults, estimated that three million Americans had entered into long-term relationships or marriage as a result of meeting on a dating web site. A youthful look is definitely an advantage, but it doesn't make an older woman a better candidate if the man is interested in having kids. However, the majority still takes getting into a relationship seriously. Gannon January 18, at 1:
However, he was very relieved that I miscarried and is now convinced he does not want children. I read through this thread and am now very nervous.
It seems that none of you give a relationship like this a chance. I am 12 years older than my husband and we are happier every day. People need to step off the age thing unless it causes some catastrophe. But each year after the 10th year is stressful especially when the younger partner is in early 20s. Im with you on that one! Im finding this much younger man to be more mature than most men I meet my age!! I am 44 and full of energy and I found that I got bored with my husband whos 47!
Most have been I always tell whomever asks me to date to see if we get along and then tell them my age a couple to three months into our relating. One 27 yr old insisted on going to take me out to lunch, traveling, hanging out at the beach and he was super attractive. We spent a year together. I only get involved with those that know they want an older woman to be with and have fun with normally. Actually glad my ex husband of 22 yrs ditched me for a younger filly with his ED.
The stallions were worth the divorce. Beauty is fleeting but as long as I have the edge of being wrinkle free I will use it. Only one left, to go back to his ex with whom he had an infant. Your view is its sickening so you think to made snide not so covert cutting remarks about older women staying in their lane.
Just a relationship shift overall as the times change. Beside about have a great sex with, is it true that young man needs an older woman for his security financial? Haha on everybody else! Thank you for your comment. I also know women who are in relationships and marriages with men 10 or more years younger.
But people who want to keep the male chauvinist propaganda alive will always blind themselves to real life examples such as yours. I have been with my much younger man for 4yrs.. I love him and he loves i look at it like any relationship its a risk a chance nobody can predict what will hhappen.
This gives me hope!!! I am 46 and have been writing a 33 year old now for almost 9 months. He lives in Rome, I live in LA. We are finally meeting in person this summer and I can not wait. He wants a long term relationship but I keep thinking he will want a young hottie… I look great but I am not IMO men from other cultures are not as hung up on perpetually chasing the 20 year old skinny blonde trophy as American men are.
If my guy had wanted a real relationship, I would have been all for it. As it was we had an on off for 3 years. But my romantic heart roots for you and a happily ever after. They relationship lasted 6 years online they are now married and planning to live together as soon she send for him.
He loves children but said that most people think they know the person they looking for to marry until they meet that someone special who just captures your ever being. If you meet a person and becomes best friends and fall in love, you fall in love with the whole package. I also think it depends on the age you are when you meet that older person. A man 20 and woman 40…a no, no but a man 40 and over and a woman 55 and older that can work because the two are more mature to adapt and grow together in life than the 20 — 30 year man with older woman.
Lee, on the last part of your comment. My boyfriend is 24, extremely mature, fun and very smart. We learn from each other and we are going to get married. I know others like us…. Some of us do. NN— No one can predict how long a relationship will last. Not even people who are whole heartedly committed on their wedding day, as statistics prove out. If you are enjoying your relationship with the 26 yr. I am represented by 2 model and talent agencies, I take boxing classes and still do gymnastics.
I weigh as much as I did in high school. Thanks to good genes, I look much younger than my years — no wrinkles or gray my parents are from the Philippines. And I am inked and pierced. So, I am not as concerned as what society thinks of me. But as far as investing my heart in this relationship with someone so much younger, in light of the previous posts…that is what makes me nervous. Oh thank goodness someone is defending something called, love. Sometimes two people regardless of age, regardless of religion, politics, social and family pressures, etc.
Perhaps that is the societal ratio — Nervous Nellie is a champion, pure and simple. If you find somebody who you love and who loves you, and that someone and you are just plain good together, then … accept it; accept the love. And now how do I know this? Because I am a 48 year old woman who has been in love with a 28 year old man for almost 3 years now. I have two sons too, so introducing this man who is closer in age to them than to me, was very difficult. Where are we now?
Now, as in exactly now, we caved under pressure. We have been giving in to society, mental linear models of fate and doom models programmed in our heads, and you know what?
We are suffering because we are beginning to make up our own problems to force ourselves to push away from what should be so simple. It should be about love, it should be about being plain and simply good together. If anyone can overcome these illusions and realities of exterior pressure, then hats off to them. Nervous Nellie is a true Champion in my eyes. So, Love Like a Champion — please. Please love like a champion and stand up for all the rest of us who are scared and otherwise give in to our fears all too often.
I feel for you. The men in my last three relationships got successively younger as I got older, 6yrs, 13yrs, 17yrs. Your relationship with your young man when he reaches an age where he wants to have his own kids. Those men exist, but those men are rare. If you found such a rare gem, then your relationship may have a chance of succeeding long time. Enjoy the moment and the relationship as long as it lasts. The younger they are and the older you get, the more options there are available to him.
Love is blind quite often. My thinking is it never helps anyone to tell them to think things are impossible. Sure we can listen to popular opinion, then why are divorce rates even among couples of the same age so high? Not a great argument, Cheese. What are the successful societal precedents for it? Your boyfriend was born in And no amount of emotion on your part will take away from that fact. He is sexy, charming, intelligent , and makes me smile, so you know what, I will probably go for it, and it it is just a few months of great fun, then brilliant.
After a 14 yr relationship in which I was made to feel worthless, and left feeling no one would ever be interested in me, and receiving interest has made me realise I am attractive, and will be fine. If it turns out to be longer term then great. He tells me his last relationships were 2 yrs with 20 yrs older and 3 yrs 23 yrs older.
My mum dated an 18 yr old when she was 36, that lasted 18 yrs, and then she dated another man 18 yrs younger which lasted 12 yrs until she died, so it can last. Please go for it!
Age is not the defining thing. I married my wife at 25 and she We never wanted kids and the experiences of her sisters have proved us right! They are always a problem and bring nothing but soul-searching and unhappiness for their parents mainly. I will be 67 this year and we are still married.
I can feel when my wife is suffering and I comfort her even without any words I feel that she responds. I did all the chores and my job for two months while she was sick taking her breakfast lunch and dinner, ensuring she could get to the bathroom etc. I rose at Would I do this again? Yes because I love her still after 42 years. I say if you feel for the person, then go for it but stay true and honest with her. I know your intentions come from a good place, but I believe your advice is doing a disservice to the majority of older women who long to date younger men for relationships, not just for sex.
That is one of the requirements for older woman- much younger man relationships. She has to go into such a relationship with eyes wide open. Morality and sexuality have changed a lot since then, to say the least. If a woman understands this and accepts this, then she can and should have that STR with that young guy. While there are certainly couples who are exceptions to this rule, they are still the exceptions and not the rule.
Older women who believe HER relationship with the much younger guy will be the exception are going to be the ones who ultimately suffer the most. Better to go into the relationship expecting it to be the norm e. Data has proven this. And you need to have the maturity to let go gracefully when not if your guy eventually decides he does want a natural not adopted family or just simply wants to hang around people his own age.
I did the breaking up with with both my younger fellas when I recognized that the relationship had run its course. So while ending the relationships was very saddening, it was not devastating. I missed them both a lot. But I got through it. Go for it, Suze, as long as you can control your emotions and are not seeking a long-term relationship.
He can still be younger than you. Odds of LTRs are better for that with your age-peer, particularly if you look young for your age. Whatever the world thinks does not make love right or wrong. I am 46 married to my husband We are very happy. Sure we have challenges of course but just like anybody else. He wants children and I can not give him that.
We are commited to working things out for as long as we stay together. We enjoyed each others company and we do things together. I am confident that we are going to stay married until one of us dies first. IHe understand that I am going to get older and he is committed to taking care of me. Nobody can ever guess about love and how it works. We just need to try every day to work on our lives and be happy. There is no relationship in this world that does not have difficulties or bridges to cross.
I must be lucky. I have great genes as many other women I do look very good for my age. I will take very good care of my skin and also myself because he inspires me to live a better healthy lifestyle. I have been married to a lady who is 15 years older than I am since I have never cheated on her even when we had jobs where we were separated a lot.
The trick is that we are totally honest with each other. I now have to look after her a bit as she has become a little more frail, but that is fine, she is my wife. I now do all the cooking and shopping I do in the car. The key is not age but trust and a desire to share life together.
Once you realize that sometimes you have to do things that you may not like much, BECAUSE your partner does, this is half the battle won.
If you are on an ego trip you will never make with anyone for long. This is why the ladies above are quoting a relationship of 2 years max. Oh, and treating a woman as a person helps too, she is not a male appendage or chattel. He has feelings for me, I know this. But this has left him extremely confused and me extremely hurt. When I was 40, I dated a 23 yr old, for 4 years off and on. I broke it off because he had a drinking problem.
Who knows if it might have worked out longterm, otherwise.. But I am very heartbroken now that we have to end it. Sounds like you must be a very attractive woman, so there are MANY much younger guys who would be excited to date you!! Couples break up at any age, please do not be so discouraged. My wife is almost 22 years older than me but she keeps herself very fit and looks MUCH younger than her true age.
NO man ever had a better wife!! The sex with her is beyond fantastic and uninhibited, rare for a 56 year old! I believe that her going to the gym 5 evenings a week has given her vast benefits. Men half her age make passes at her regularly. A few years does NOT mean that a woman cant be sexy and desired.
Dress to show off your pretty figure and when those guys flirt, please smile back. I had trouble dating other people. I was very depressed.
I feel like I need to pull away from him again so I can devote my limited free time to finding something more serious. Maybe not but we all have limited time to invest in dating.. Sandra Wade, these are things that should be discussed at the beginning of a relationship before things get to deep. You can discuss things at the beginning but once you start building a life with someone.. I had married my college sweetheart. Marriage lasted 13 years. Therefore, what you said was right.
As for investing my heart totally, I am still nervous about that. I met a guy 16 years my jr. We only flirted, but that is the extent. Even if he had approached me for something more, i would not pursue because I am finally ready to settle down, and he is just beginning to live his life. I am sure that he is not looking for anything serious, so why pursue anything? If a man marries a woman 15 — 20 years older than him and both have no good morals and principles to keep his marital vows, there is a much lesser rate for divorce.
People become conformed to the habits and traditions of this world. This is not a line for followers of Christ. Fear not for God is in control you just need to believe, obey him and have just enough faith as a mustard seed. People that divorce is selfish with hearts of stone and standing alone without God in their relationship. If you are standing alone without the Holy spirit, you will surely fall to dust!
You peopel are talking about the flesh NOT the Holy spirit. You are walking by sight and lust of the flesh NOT the Holy spirit!
God is in control not man. If you click on his name it leads to his website. You called me a TROLL who was here for self-promotion — and accused me of having the audacity to make my name link to my website. This IS my website. Go to the top of the page. I am Evan Marc Katz. A percentage of them choose to give me their email address to get more free advice.
Thanks again for playing. If a man marries a woman whether it be 15 or 20 years older than him or younger than him and both have good morals and principles, there is a much lesser rate for divorce. But many fail to understand that there is a higher power than ourselves and he is in control.
Without that higher power, we stand alone to fall. Him and his statistics mean nothing.. There are as many kinds of love as there are people in the world. He wants to get married too.
After 7 years together he just might be breaking through my no marriage barrier. But he thinks it is important and it is becoming important to our daughter so I just might do the deed with a younger man-with pre-nup in place. My man and I met when he was just 18 and I was Not every man wants kids, some want a stress free easy life with someone that can make decisions. He is certain that as long as he is with me, he wants nothing else.
Your post was certainly encouraging. Like you, I am nervous about remarrying. Boyfriend did express a concern about that. And he wants me to meet his parents—mother is only 3 years older than I am. Stepfather is about 13 years older.
I think his biological father is almost 10 years older than I am. Did you discuss the prenup issue with your bf? I am in a relationship with a 22 year age difference. Its really scary for me too.
My kids approve, my parents approve, my best friend approves, my ex approves, my cousins approve. Its great to have the people I care about be so happy for us.
And we are happy. We were friends for 2 years and have been a couple for 5 months. Yep, its early days. But we are happy and yes — hopeful. As we should be, as anyone should be in a relationship.
The hardest part is society. Its like so many people on this post. Its depressing some days to have so much negativity thrown at you. Maybe these relationships would have better statistics if A We stopped asking others if our happiness could last and B People around us were less judgemental. My marriage died after 19 years so sometimes things just dont work out. No one would have predicted it, not us or our family. Ironically my husband was much older, and society didnt care, didnt bat an eye lol.
Go forth and be hopeful. If my heart can get broken with a guy in my age group it can get broken with a guy much younger. The reverse is also true.
Just read this after leaving a reply of my own earlier.. This is bang on correct. I felt that way early in the relationship. My younger man is more man than any guy I have ever known, regardless of age…. If we all started a relationship worried about the ending, life would be awful… go for whatever makes you happy!
Because he knew me when I was going through my divorce as a friend he knew all a long about my allergy to marriage and my strong belief in pre-nups. Still he took the leap and had a relationship with me.
The younger guy has a risk too. Marriage can mean a claim to half of all his future retirement benefits, alimony, child support if you have kids together. Men tend to earn more than women out the gate. So was I at his age. She discusses what marriage can mean financially, pre-nuptual agreements, how to divide expenses based on varying incomes or goals.
Everyone should know about this no matter what age their partner is. I entered this relationship with no expectations of it being long term because of what other people believed and articles like this. But my experience has been different than the apparent cultural norm.
I really think Americans sort of look for the negative. Truly, the only negatives in our life are health issues and their HIS. I am in much better physical shape than my bf, who is also 26 27 this month. So my choices are enjoy things and take things one day and a time, or break it off and find someone closer to my own age, who already has children.
Either break my own heart now, or risk having it broken in the future…. Nervous Nellie, do your man have great principles. Look for the morals and the principles NOT THE AGE because if you find a man close to your age and he do not have good moral and principles, you would surely get your heart broken. Pray about it and trust God but can you trust your young man to be faithful and live up to his standards?
I am the one whose man is much older. I am 25 and he is Our relation is based on true love,trust and understanding. He is in a very good shape, fit and active and full of energy. Maybe it sounds weird but I have almost never been attracted to young boys of my age. My boyfriend on the contrary does it perfectly well.
We are very attached to each other, however he gets confused sometimes with our age difference. It seems to be difficult for him to put up with the idea that I actually could be his daughter, although he has never had children. My parents are against our relation.
They think its completely insane of me. But I just ignore their remarks. Despite all the negativity our love is growing stronger day after day.
I fully believe in us and our future, in fact I would like to marry him and have kids. Everything is OK and acceptable as long as it makes both partners happy and the age issue should be the last problem to worry about.
Two of my great-great-grandparents were such a couple; she was born in , he in The age difference may have kept them from having more than 2 children the older of whom was my great-grandma but they remained married till death did them part.
My bf has been steadfast in his desire not to have any children. Long story short, having kids is not for everyone, of either gender. But thanks for asking. Your email address will not be published. Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail.
You can also subscribe without commenting. Add this to the annals of studies that confirm things we already know anecdotally. Last week, I got a call from a distraught woman named Michelle. He is a beautiful person and he is so generous, affectionate, well spoken and accomplished. He is tall and athletic and totally hot. He is 53, but I am here to tell you 53 can be pretty damn impressive.
All this from a woman who a year before had equated dating with despair, rejection and pain. I can relax and not stress about the future, I'm enjoying the here and now and its so much FUN!
To make a long story short, I am so happy because I met Mr. He possessed the 3 important requirements that fit my need: We are committed and our relationship is going on strong for three years now. I realized that I needed to find the man who would love me unconditionally for who I am, not for who he wanted me to be. I am a firm believer in dating at least 4 seasons and we are already in our 3rd season of love. We have discussed marriage and will revisit the idea this October.
Join our conversation Comments. She and you are lucky women. AGE is a number! Congratulations Shante it is your time to be happy!! Yuck at your nasty assumptions and immature and icky conclusions. Omg you have me laughing my ass off.
What you said is sooo true!! The only reasons I date younger women are: I just find it so exciting to have conversations with people who understand all of my cultural references and who have their own insights from having lived to add to my own I think your absolutely right..
Mine bf is 28 and I am 48 He also the most loving and caring. At the end of the day we all deserve to be happy. I agree on that. Age is only a number if you watch after yourself and take care of your body.
Sex is amazing Nothing wrong with that. Not about sex or anything else. You finally have placed the puzzle together for the trend of frendship. I am a 25 year old married to a 45 year old women. They tend to give the best and to be the best… Oswyn. Until a few months goes by… They want to settle down and have a real serious girlfriend they can take home to mom, and all of a sudden it starts to weird them out that my friend could BE their mom.
Thanks so much for the encouragement. Thank you for all of your thoughts Please do not give up. I am now rethinking it… Wow!! I have been a single soul parent for a few years, as well as busy building my business and put romance on the back burner so to speak… until … I am a youthful, active, attractive, happy, fun and healthy single Mom with two boys ages 11 and Sorry to burst your bubble: Look up fertility statistics for 45 year old women.
I know about FSH levels. My wife and I had two kids after the age of 40 without IVF. ShangHi is an old emperial city long been fed up all the western propaganda. Men there tend to think that they are inferior. And girls offtehn take adavantages of it and make their BF do things like carry their hand bags, and even tie their shoes. But this do not apply to Northern and West Chinese men. I for one will never do those things. Again, it shows how shallow Jonna is. The current Frence president Nicolas Sarkozy is only 5.
And Napoliean is only 5. Yet no one makes fun of them, oh yeah. The Frence are European, and European men are might tall and strong Sorry to say this, I mean no offence. Anyway, the apperance of a man is important but his personiality and his intellengence are also important.
I hope people dont just judge us based on apperance. However, like Chinese people. Nothing is perfect, everything has its downside like every coin has two sides. Chinese men like me are very hard working, smart, faimily orenated, have high values, taught to be loyal, and learned how to be a good father and take good care of our parants when they get old.
The down side of us, at least for Chinese men in China is that they do not have a lot of proper manner like spitting, chocking, hocking, and nose picking. Because my mother always telling me how BAD White girls are like they are not loyal, have no ethics, blah blah blah. However, it has its good sides such as clean enviorment, safe street, and great Universities. Its bad sides are: People always make sterotypes such as Black guys are stupid, white guys have smaller penis compare to black guys, Asian guys are nerds, Mexcian guys are all gangsters…… These things divide American people and greatly hurt the national unity.
I just hope one day Coungress would pass laws to ban all sterotypes and Punish people who create them regardless of what race they are. Its good sides are: It has great infurstructure such as high way, air port, hospitals, and Universities which make living standard high and safe.
I wish people especially girls also see the good sterotypes about Chinese men instead of just the negative ones.
Perhaps interracial, international dating and marriage should be expected to be rare in the first place. Here is an article that may answer the latter of the two questions.
Biologically speaking, isolated populations do better at evolving traits that are adaptive to the local environment. Reproductive barrier is a necessary condition for genetic diversity, and ultimately speciation. We would all be ethnic mud. Just like inbreeding is usually a bad thing, widespread interracial breeding, which is exactly the other extreme on the spectrum, is probably not good as well.
I am in a committed relationship with a Chinese man, and I am an American white woman. We make similar amounts of money and after much argument he agreed to let me pay a few times. We discuss politics, flaws in Chinese society, flaws in American society, love, sex, you name it we can talk about it. Our biggest problem is that I will not stay in China, and he is reluctant to come to America.
He suspects, I think rightly, that as soon as he is a Chinese immigrant in America it will be difficult for him to get a decent job. So, in the long term I am a little worried on how we will deal with this problem when I leave. And, perhaps this is a tad inappropriate but since the topic has been broached, his penis size is above average.
Our sex life has no problems. I think white women intimidate many Asian men. If you look in the above comments, the Chinese-American man who had confidence had no problem getting women. I knew a few Asian-American men in high school who cleaned up, one was even a total player landing a string of white women. So, while there may be racism in both cultures involved I think the biggest problem is confidence on the part of the Asian men.
Prior to my current wife, I have a Canadian Girl friend, who I am her first Chinese Boy Friend, I guess she was in love with me, while we are together, she has done some research and show me how the media protrait the Chinese man, basically in negative way, and how she think the misconcept should be corrected.
When I broke up with her because of my current wife We married two years later , her asked if I have found a Chinese girl to replace me now, when I told her is a Swiss, she was shock, her first reaction was — How can a Western Women fall in love with a Chinese However, she then immediately correct the statement as herself doing exactly the same. So what if the white women reject you — is that the only race you can date?
There are other colors besides white. You might be surprised. Well, how often, if ever, do you see a black woman in China? I personally lived there for more than 18 years, six years in Beijing. I can count on two hands all the black women that I had ever ever seen in Beijing in all those years, all of whom were strongers to me, and most of whom were athletes that I spotted during the Olympic games.
And I am yet to encounter a black woman outside the capital. But I used to meet white women in Beijing almost every other day, and was personally familiar with perhaps half a dozen of them.
If we are to limit our discussion to the US, it should not be surprising to see five or six times more Asian-White couples than Asian-Black couples, just because of the demographic make-up: There are simply more whites than blacks in the US.
If you take socio-economic factors into account, it becomes even less likely for Asian men to meet black women, bacause the gap between Asians and blacks is greater than that between Asians and whites. The cold reality is that all people everywhere, of all races, throughout history, just tend to marry within their own socio-economic classes.
Maybe that is wrong. But would you marry an illiterate child-prostitute with AIDS? I really wants to be your friend, i have a chinese boyfriend for 2 years already, but he went crazy. I wish you guys all the happiness in the world. I never said that I did not find Black women not attractive.
I do find Hispanic and Black women attractive. But I had a lot more success with White girls. In high school I had many success.
SO Marie you do not need to feel bad, Asian born in American will have few problems accepting black women. Marcia, just tell your boyfriend you love him and get married then all problem will be solved. Trust me this works. Marcia, your boyfriend is shy because he got all fed up by Hollywook BullCrap. He lacks confident to love his white girlfriend. But he will have no problem to hold hand with a Chinese girl.
However, you do not need to worry. Why not marry him and move him to United States then you will not have these problems. Despite me living in the U. Despite this, we have overcome much and love each other. And yes, we do get alot of looks while in China, and there are alot more foreign men with Chinese women than the reverse. Also China is not as wealthy as the United States and other western countries.
However this is not the main reason. So you now know the main reason. The main thing we need to focous on is sports, if we can do well in sports then we will become much stronger and much more confident then our image will change. But Yi it is changing now. You know the recession hit western world hard and many Chinese women lost their interets in western men.
So look on the bright side. Angie, good for you that he likes you. You know that there are many guys in China like western women just like Chinese women. However Chinese men are afraid to date you because they heard all the bad sterotypes about them and the western media and movie made it even worst. But dont worry changes are on the way, stay positive. I have a Chinese boyfriend that moved to America 4 years ago. We have been dateing for a few months now and every day we go out to do something diffrent.
Everytime my boyfriend and I go out we get stared at and pointed to. My boyfriend Xun never said anything about it so I think he just didnt care. At first it bothered me but, I figured that if it didnt bother him then it shouldnt bother me. My family at first didnt like him because he was from another country but, after a wile of talking about how great our relationship it they came to like him.
We havent met each others family yeat. Xun and I had a long talk about it. He dosnt find it in his familys favor that it would end. He tells me just because hes from China that it dosnt make a diffrence. Hes here living in America now. I think it has been commonly said that a lot of guys may be afraid that their parents will not approve. Did their parents ever consider that there is a huge gender disparity?
Or would they prefer their son die alone? Besides, what ever happened to living your life how you want it? Only an asian woman can be so hateful. It makes me feel good that you have the fire in you to make a change, to not let others break you down. Stay strong and never give up.
If you falter, it means more work for the rest of us asian guys. This post is getting quite the buzz over the whole internet! My mom is a seflhating sell out Chinese women just like the typical Asian women. I am distant to marry White girls. I have a fantasy that is to marry a Nordic girl or American girl with Nordic desenct. But I can not help it. This is why all of a sudden I changed myself. I care about my fashion now, I wear much better clothing to make myself look even better Since I am already a good looking guy.
I try hard to get rid of my accent, and now I speak English almost perfectly with very little accent. I work out at the gym try to get toned musle and look even better.
Not only do they sell out themselves but they also make up Bullsh! Please my fellow Chinese men: I think it will. As China gets rich, it certainally will. So Chinese media will heavly promote Chinese men to date western women and more and more young, tall, good looking, rich Chinese men will be open minded to date western women. So I think it will change too. BTW, there are already sings of Chiese media promoting such things. You will see it. Chinese men are NOT as weak and scared as western men think.
Also, I am one of those tall, goodlooking, young well educated Chinese men who finds western women much more attractive than Chiense girls and at least half of my Chinese male friends think the same way. I am a forty-one year old American lady, Read: The one time I broke free and chose my own mate, my parents stole my son and paid his father to leave with our son to another country. I have not seen my son for over fifteen years now, and I doubt he even knows who I am. I stopped dating at first because I really needed to get my head and heart together, and, just as importantly, create a new life and sense of worth for myself.
In time I enrolled in college, something my parents would never let me do, and I started my own small business. I was in my mid-thirties before I felt emotionally ready to date again, and the expected initial disasters of being too long out of the dating scene happened, though thankfully, these mostly proved to be funny in hindsight. I thought that because he was an older Chinese man, and a government official too, that I would be a pariah to him, not the other way around.
His response to me took me utterly by surprise… I was honest to him from the beginning, though the details were spread over a few months, and I even went so far as to admit that I was on good terms with only one of my blood relatives, and I told him about my past in more detail than I related here. He is everything I need to feel both secure and independent, a gentle and yet firmly reliable presence in my life and spirit, and we never run out of things to talk about to each other.
For over a year now he has never failed to make me laugh, smile, feel optimistic, and he is loving and supportive in everything I do. He and my good relative get along extremely well, and I am beginning a great relationship with his son from a long-extinct previous marriage. Yes, he is an extraordinary cook, and he tried to make me use chopsticks so I would eat slower than him, but the cooking is so good, I aced using the chopsticks!
Above all, he is gifted with the ability to be an extraordinary companion. The perfect man for me is located literally on the other side of the planet, and I never would have found him if not for the internet and for the efforts of people who were determined to break down the barriers of ignorance, fear, and the resulting prejudices.
I have so many reasons to be grateful… We must wait two more years until he retires before we can officially tie the knot. If we married right now he would be severely investigated by his government and he would lose his retirement benefits, for which he has worked hard for over 30 years to acquire.
I call, and I visit him in China, every chance I can, and it is our hope that he can move here to America with me when he retires. Well, that is my two cents anyways… Smile!
I would welcome any constructive comments regarding how to make his American citizenship any easier, and tips on how he can adjust and get a job when he arrives here.
Thank you so much for your patience and regard! Wow, what a story — I am so delighted to hear from you, and to hear that you found a new life, family and home with a wonderful Chinese man. Congratulations, and thank you so much for sharing! Thank you you for being so kind, encouraging, and helpful. Thank you for sharing your story. You are right that Chinese men are like that. In fact I am like that too, even though I am young.
I am a western girl in Shanghai and I do like the Chinese men, not too much experince but I am learning as I go along. Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories.
Hopefully I will have my own story to post in the future. We have been married for 4 years and have lived both in Australia and in Thailand. I am moving back to Thailand next month so that my husband can work for their quite successful family business. I have found that marrying a Chinese man comes with a lot of concerns. I love my husband very much but find that his family have too much influence over our life and marriage.
For example, they want us to live in their house, they want to pay for everything, they get involved in issues which are really only our own. I love them dearly and am very grateful for their help, but by accepting their help I loose my own independance. Can anyone please give me advise on how to manage this situation whilst still remaining respectful of their culture and them?
You should definitely tell your husband your concerns. Let him know what you value, and how you want to live. Over the years, my husband has come to understand and appreciate my independent, feminist side — and he has been able to allow me to be me without wrecking family dynamics. It helps that he praises me in front of them in ways that they understand i. They have a better impression of me, and are more likely to be understanding of my more independent, feminist side.
This builds good will and a relationship. All of this creates more goodwill, and more understanding. Really, though, the best thing to do is…start with your husband. Keeping things in perspective can help diffuse the tension, and hopefully lead to more understanding. That said, I am operating on what kept my twenty-plus years of friendships strong even after the worst of acid tests, including being housemates with a few of the more interesting ones for a long stretch of years apiece.
What works for me is to take a deep breath and do the following reality check… I remember with as much objectivity as I can muster, what my life was like before my Wanju Xiong came into it, and then, I look at my life as it is right now. I literally weigh the good and the bad. The criteria is simple… Is my life just a little bit happier, safer, more stable, and more productive, just a little more often, than it was before I brought him in?
When we argue, do I automatically think of ways to leave or worse? Or, do I automatically think of ways to create a compromise that will work for both of us. Never, never, make your husband chose between you or his family because that will ensure that you lose. Keep being yourself, if husband complains, tell him you are still the lady he married, and kindly ask him who changed the script just because the parents want to crawl into the matrimonial bed?
The tough of this is, you must first convince your husband, and then ,only he can convince his family. Diplomacy, tact, enduring patience, and a very carefully considered bottom line are needed here. I wish you a ton of good luck and good results. I cannot tell you how much I appreciate your comments and advice. What you are saying is true, my husband is the love of my life and I would hate for that to change. At the end of the day, these really are small issues in what can be a wonderful life together.
Thank you again, I really appreciate it. I will write again once I have moved to keep you up to date. I was just trying to use google to find a way to meet foreign girls here in China and consequently found this blog. I thought that this would be the perfect way to meet someone with whom I could have much in common.
How painfully right I was. She got a new job and I quit university to follow her. I have had Chinese dude friends who were totally cool and I tried to set them up with random foreign girls but most foreign girls have already made up their minds about love be it not to live in China long enough to care about anybody — or that Chinese guys are just lame. Both of these suppositions are sucky and self-centered at best however for single girls you do need a thick skin to live here and being an asshole is just a necessary side-effect.
Jocelyn, in utter seriousness, if you ever offer classes in tact and finesse I want the first invite. All that said, I am familiar with the circumstances you speak of… My Wanju Xiong Toy Bear or Teddy Bear- Mandarin Pinyin Chinese is a very handsome fellow with a truly wonderful personality, his son is gorgeous by any racial standards, and I am a head-turner even at my age.
Still, no matter which racial company we keep, I am invariably asked why a woman of my caliber would chose a Chinese man, and, my fiance is just as frequently asked how he managed to get and keep me. I am past taking offense anymore, and after awhile, I began to wonder what caused these comments in the first place. Sometimes the hardest part of choosing to be a product of your own shaping rather than to be a perpetual victim of circumstances is to find the power to consistently walk away from the things that hurt you every time the challenge arises.
My gift to him was to prove that I could love him with equally unconditional love. We are facing so many battles, and we would not have made it this far without that commitment. You have to know why you are worth that kind of investment before you can ask someone else to make that investment in you. Make yourself the person you want and need to be, set realistic, practical, honest, and achievable goals, and then stick to your guns.
Wait until the people who can love you in truth, in whole, and as you are, prove that they really do love you for you. It takes twenty-one consistent and dedicated efforts to form a new habit, get started…. A lot of people are just foolish, jelouos, and full of hate some times. So when they see the other way around, they get upset and MAD. Try to break you down, when they all should just let you be. I work and learn at my local university, and on a few occasions at the end of the semester, I goof around with the kids.
And right around this time is when the kids gang up on me, carry me out to the collection of life-sized statues at the center of the campus, and deposit me in a ridiculous pose next to the bronzes.
Thereupon I am dryly told that the statues are far wittier than myself, that they give far less boring lectures, and even they will refuse to be held as my captive audience, preferring instead to slowly inch away and summons the pigeons while I drone another lullaby. Guess how this one ends? Well, everyone busts a gut laughing and we walk across the street for pizza and beer.
I am sleepless tonight because in a few days, I must do something that breaks my heart. They say fear and hate are father and son, and my experiences have proven that maxim is true. My dearest friend was very badly abused as a child, and nobody feels more compassion for her than I do.
The lady grew up to raise two children without abusing them, but she never sought professional council for her past. The fear became sorrow, but sorrow immobilizes and she needed motivation. She found it in anger. Initially, the anger helped to fight against her plight, and for a short time, she was on top again.
But anger is an all-consuming sickness, no less deadly and twisted than her cancers were, and the inevitable happened. In a nutshell, she utterly destroyed her life, ensured she would always be alone, and she finally drove away the family and friends who abide her increasingly criminal acts of venom for over twenty years.
She blames us, and she is right. How do you think this one ends? We had to acknowledge that our unconditional love had actually enabled a very sick woman to make us sick too. No matter how strange, cruel, or wonderful, people will remain true to the habits that fulfill the real needs of their real natures. If a vampire must bite innocent victims to change them into vampires, then they will do as their nature dictates, regardless of your love, actions, wishes, or words.
How can we save someone from the behavior that makes them feel better, even when that behavior is doing them and others so much harm?
I am reminded of a time when my great grandparents made me stand and observe a line of trees that had been used by a fella to create a natural fence. My brothers and I gathered seeds from the few remaining trees and what you see here is our investment. These trees are brothers and sisters; all are the same age, and all have endured the same blessings and hardships. A man wrapped barbed wire around all of them, but while some trees lived, others died. Can you see the reason why?
We can think of the barbed wire as the hate, greed, jealousy, and apathy that slowly saw their ways into our core being. The ones who respond to harm by inflicting harm, even if to only themselves, are consumed within by a force that is even more destructive than the original source of their pain.
They are dead, attractive only to things that consume the dead. The trees that lived show us that choosing to heal is a choice to live too. These trees chose to be survivors rather than victims, and their continued lives benefit all. To my horror, she began to hack at the scars of the living trees. I tried to stop her, but her husband detained me with a sad smile. Thanks pigeons, I can do with a much less graphic illustration of it! Thankyou so much Slipknot for reading my blog!
Which part did you read? Are you in China too? The reason why I think foreign girls rarely date Chinese guys is because of politics and national policy in China. You know how open and free the west is. However, China is exactly opposite because it is a communist state. The civilians are pressured by the Chinese government. For example, internet censorship is a major issue in China. The chinese government blocks a lot of websites such as youtube, facebook, twitter, any politically sensitive sites and porn sites.
Because of those kind of policy, Chinese people are pretty conservative. Therefore, why would a foriegn girl wanna marry a Chinese guy and live in a country with this kind of policy? This is what I think! I am a nice ,cute chinese guy …want a western woman , lol …. Tony, what you said is BullSh! The reason why foreign women rarely date Chines emen are: China is still not as wealth as the west yet, but she is getting there.
So imagine a low income Chinese man date a high income western woman, you can clearly feel the insecurity complex that Chinese man will face. The western media put Harsh and horrific sterotypes against Chinese men, and since most western women are brain washed by their media, they look down on Chinese men at the first place therefore, will not even consider dating one. Chinese men are traditional and thinks that marrying a western woman will ruin their culture.
Neagative sterotypes against western women also play a huge roll, many Chinese men believe that western women are not as loyal and lack family values as Chinese women. However, this is changing very fast. Many young and mid-age Chinese men began to realize that Chinese women are getting more and more bitchy, westernlized, and brain washed too. Chinese women begin to sell themslves out and bash Chinese men also make up lies to make Chinese men look bad.
As a reslut, many young and mid-aged Chiense men are more open minded to marry non-Chinese women. And many powerful Chinese men are sick of the status quote they will do what ever it takes to change it!! Long story short, his ex-wife wanted a richer and more challenging man, so she ran off with his American pal. My fiancee misses his pal, but not so much the ex. When we met online, I was past fed up with the fact that I was a bug light for bad boys, and I had a lot of karma to burn off.
He is a government official in a supervisory position, and even daydreaming about cavorting with an American nymphet is grounds for an on-the-job malcontent to cause all kinds of mischief for him. Want to know what makes it work for us? He has more cause than any Anglo man to cherish my unconventional personality and lifestyle, and, I finally found a man who is more dependable, attentive, and appreciative than his Anglo counterparts.
At the end of even the worst of days, we unfailingly find a reason to laugh, forgive, and move on. In essence, we are best friends. You are such a smart and versatile young man, and the only thing that stands in the way of love for you, is.. Focus all that energy into something you can change, your own perspective. When you are sitting at dinner with your lady, what do you want her to talk about?
Would you like to hear her talk about what makes you special to her, or, do you want to hear what she thinks about men and society? That would be a good start for you too! I have asked my wanju xiong, who currently lives in Mainland China, about your statement. Here is what he said…. In a nutshell, when marriage is a form of slavery, being bound even to a nice and faithful man who is a drunk and gambler is a life of abject misery for his wife.
Traditionally and historically, who metes any real punishment to a man who mistreats his wife? Conversely, who protects a wife from being punished if her family is unable or unwilling to protect her?
In the bottom line, enabling punishment and stigmata -free divorces may allow more divorces to happen, but men, as well as women, are freed from a life of suffering alongside a dismal mate choice, and BOTH genders are compelled to behave like better human beings when the penalty for being a lousy spouse is that your spouse can leave you and shop elsewhere. Divorce lets two people wreck hell on each other upon departure, but it does end.
If they fought so evilly in the divorce, can you imagine what the everyday life in that marriage was like? Having grown up in an abusive home, I can speak in the same voice as my many counterparts around the world… I am a better person who makes better choices because I am allowed to make those choices on my own behalf… Including walking away forever from a life of misery and choosing to be a product of my own choices rather than being a victim of my circumstances.
Traditions are formulas of generalization, so it actually works for less people, and not for most people. Hardly… I respect tradition far more than most would imagine, but what I respect most is quality of life. No matter what culture or country you are from, or which gender you are, being a friend, companion, confidante, and loyal cheerleader is the foundation of any good marriage.
My relationship with my beloved thrives because we abandoned the stereotypes and discovered that underneath his conservative demeanor, he is longing for a chance to embrace a less repressed side to himself, and in him, I find that stability and duty can be the means to being free in truth, because I have a consistent rock to climb onto when the seas of life get rough.
We are a rare pairing because we discovered a genuine friendship along the way. No formula, no tradition, no hedonism, or heroism. At the end of the day, we simply feel good together. Why do I keep going back to talking about my relationship? Glad you asked… What you need to talk about are your relationships as an individual with other individuals. We cannot know all in even one person other than ourselves, so please, offer me the solution that works for you… Personally.
From this collection of individual experiences, we may or may not be able to find a concensus, but we should be able to find the clues that help us start on our own roads to personal truths. My love and I did not pair up for any of the reasons mentioned by anyone here other than me. I prove and rest my case on this point. I sincerely wish all of you great luck, and even greater love. I really want to change the status quote. I can not changed the status quote alone, and I need help. However, many Asians living in the United States are nothing but Sheeps, Sheeps are get pushed around, and let other people sit on their head and Sh!
For so many years, they been kept down yet they dont really realize it. People are people everywhere. So black and Asian women cannot make valuable contributions? What if a black girl marries a Chinese guy? It focues on a panel of foreign women from all over the world who married men in Taiwan, some have been there for well over a decade.
They talk about several topics such as some listed in the comments, cultural differences, children, marriage customs, romance, companionship, etc. Kind of down to earth in several aspects, and a bit more mature since half of the women there are older. Thanks for putting us back on topic. I will look into these shows as I may be one of the target audience! On that note, when I was in Seattle, WA, I used to wander for weeks at a time in the warrens of Asian shanty towns there, and I learned a lot of things… Unfortunately, my ignorance then did not allow me to separate what I learned or experienced into their respective and proper cultural origins.
There are very few white female and Asian male marriages as well. Should they not have the right to an opinion? Oh, wait, this post is all about the infrequency of these marriages. Which means that your point goes against the post, and therefore should not be taken into account. Are you contributing anything useful, constructive, or thoughtful to this site by using it to wreak the same kind of behavior on Slipknot that you are accusing him of displaying?
As you so adroitly pointed out yourself, this is a site about the rarity of marriages between Asian men and foreign women… Not a site to call technical fouls and perform character assassinations on other contributors. If you have more useless nastiness to contribute, then please take it to a private exchange, because another reason for this site is to find a common link of understanding and affection with others in a very scarce community. You are obviously a very smart person, so grow some mature wisdom, dial it down, and show us someone we can respect, then others can follow your example.
Slipknot… My all-American mom would make yours look like a devoted patron saint. I figured out that anger is a sickness, and complaining never helped, so I turned the page. Back when my fiancee proposed, my fiancee told Richard that he wanted Richard to visit him in China before I would actually meet the man who proposed to me. Richard and I were so shocked, that we flooded my wanju xiong with a thousand questions, whereupon my darling had a panic attack and almost called off the engagement.
We now understand that this was a cultural thing, but I would really like to get a better and more complete understanding of this custom.
Can you explain a bit about that too? Well, back to grading final exams… Zicter and Slipknot, I suggest you two go out and drink a few beers together… And let me have primary filming rights over anything that happens between you two after the first pitcher has been consumed.
You have clearly not read all the comments in this post true, there is over of them. Then I said that when two people find a connection in this crazy world we live in, stereotypes mean nothing quite applicable to your case, actually.
Honestly, I believe all the reasons presented in the post and the comments play a role in all cases. The main thing is that each issue plays a stronger or weaker role in each particular case. Now, talking about wisdom, please allow me to give you some advice: Check your facts, stick to what you know. You DO have the right to think that my comments are absolute bullshit, but you cannot say everybody agrees with you. Because of totally curiosity,western girls completely differ from Chinese grils,blonde hair ,sky color eyes.
But who knows its just your destiny. If you are the one appropriate for white. AS for a little little little very little proportion of white girls and Chinese marriage ,it can be taken into consideration in many aspect ,social statues,wealth,cultural difference,different life style and forth. Obviously,beautiful western girl is really really realy attraction for Chinese boy. But but but Chinese boys who will brave enough to talk with a foreigner girl on the streets.
They are afraiding nothing to laugh. They are thinking about the consequence. The one is succeeful to talk and to be friends,or even further developing.
Foreigner girls will think you are insane and neglect you. I WONT try forever. First, a person of any racial origin must open their heart to the possibility of loving, and being loved by, someone not of their own race or culture. Second, bravery and persistence are needed to achieve any goal, especially love, and the power to move beyond obstacles can only come from a strong belief in your mission. My wanju xiong and I are going through the roughest patch of our relationship so far at this time thanks to his job, but no matter how many troubles we encounter, we know that neither of us can walk away from the other.
This is not a torrid forbidden love scene thing, it is two late middle-age folks enduring in quiet and abiding faith. Here, you should know that there are a number of foreign ladies, myself included, who do not have blonde hair or blue eyes, but, we sure love our Chinese men! True, my own wanju xiong had a pretty Russian love interest who fit that blonde and blue-eyed stereotype, but yours truly, with my brown eyes and black curly hair, won his heart in the end.
I truly agree with your opinion. I dont know about myself. So as to me ,a man never date with a Chinese girl. Really i dont know how to communicate with a foreigner. The esence is that you love or not. I really believe that with the fast growth of Chinese economic,our motherland become richer and richer,Chinese will be weathier than before. But but but i really need financial support. Actually,most girls like diamond rings,jewelry,millionare,money and rich man.
This society is realistic. As every Chinese knows,it happened after the famous Chinese navigator Zheng he had finished his magnificent seven times global journeys partly. I analyze the difference between Chinese and Columbus on this matter.
Western navigator actually represent their country tosail,but the difference is that they want money ,more benefit from other country ,to make business with other nation on esence. Obivously,Western Cultural characteristic have been developed further at that moment after medieval. That is science and technology. This crucical symbol expanded the distance between Western civilization and Oriental civilization. But in the meantime,the best benefit of this institution is that the whole country can develop fastest by government administation.
Such as military,army, air force ,navy and so on. It can be preceived on our 60th national celebration. I talked too much probably it has nothing to do with the topic we talked here.
BUT i want to reveal why many Chinese think foreigner girls is more beautiful. Because the mainstream culture is still Western Culture. Our Chinese value of beauty had been changed when we was watching hollywood movie,fashionable clothes,hi-tech weapon.
Found another article written by a Yangxifu about dating Chinese Men — thanks for pointing this out to me, Jessica! We are turning the tables now! Thanks so much for your comment, and for sharing this website! I think it was a month or 2 ago now that I had a crush on this Vietnamese boy. Even though this topic seems centered around Chinese men.. He was sweet, and shy, and very courteous to my dad, and I when we went to the resturant.
We even came back a couple of times, because we enjoyed talking with him. Anyways, I had a crush on this Vietnamese boy, and I told my close friend whom happens to be asian also about him. After a week or 2 she realised she had the same math class as him, and wanted to see if he would be interested for me. I blatantly refused, so like the good best friend she is, she found a way to humiliate me by figuring a way to drag me to him even though I was refusing any help whatsoever!
I made a compromise with her: Well being semi-shy as I am.. And so I did. But after that I began to have doubts that any asian man would find me attractive. But it took a lot to get my courage to tell him, and then I got refused.. Maybe I got my hopes too high? But just a couple of weeks ago my best friend who has his math class said she thinks he likes her. If anyone is interested, please take a look. Thanks for sharing your background, and your blog.
In the published world, there really is a dearth of voices from foreign women in China who have become so close to the culture, as you have. My heart goes out to you, and though I cannot be absolutely certain about what really happened to you from the viewpoint of someone on the scene, I feel compelled to point out two things I learned from my own experiences. First, most of the Somali people I have encountered were quite attractive and charming.
If the role were reversed, how would you have felt and behaved? I am thinking, not the same as your un-friend did. You would be pleasantly surprised at how much the upgrade in friend quality can improve your own self-worth. I can assure you this is not an isolated coincidence or a generational thing. As your un-friend well knows, most Not all! Asian men are extremely shy about their sexual appeal to ladies of non-Asian races or cultures.
I can clearly read a near-future for you happily snuggling in the shoulder of a handsome Asian man… I have to smile in irony as I firmly assert that an old worn-out adage really applies to you in this case… Just be yourself, and you will be loved for being exactly who and what you are….
Specifically, by Asian men. If you cannot build up the courage to tell him first, then you are not at a place emotionally where it is safe to confide in someone else. Even a well-intentioned friend will be subjective, and may be tempted to meddle if you do not move as fast as she would. Cut that dead anchor loose, and you will not only move on, you will move upward, where both of you know you belong… A beautiful butterfly must spread her wings… Best of luck and love to you.
I completely agree with Phoenix, that this sounds like a case of sabotage from a friend who is not really your friend. As for Asian men not being interested in dark-skinned women…as Phoenix said, there are definitely Asian men out there who would want to date you.
Indeed, just be yourself, as Phoenix said. I will heed your advice, and cut my dead anchor loose. If not it being a block in my road to success, then for it not being a faithful, and honest anchor.
Once again thank you both for the words of wisdom, and I wish you the best, as I will certainly try mine to correct this situation. I was just shooting from the hip. Thank you for your kind words! Lots of love and luck to both of you! Thank you for your article, Jocelyn. I have been dating my Chinese American boyfriend for two years now, and we plan to be engaged within the year.
His family immigrated from China about 30 years ago, so they are very traditional. I do hope to earn the affection of his grand parents some day, but I suppose we all need to start somewhere.
Next semester, I am going to start learning Chinese through a Mandarin course offered in my university. Thanks for your comment, Turtle, and for sharing! I suppose there are several older posts from before I started reading your blog. Your dress is absolutely beautiful and unique. Is it from here or from China? Hope this is not too off-topic for the folks subscribed to the comments on this post…but the dress is from China.
If you, and others, are interested, I may just have to do a little review about this place. I am a white redheaded woman married to a Chinese man 9 years next week! We live outside of Chicago with our three beautiful half chinese daughters. With my very white skin and red hair, I really stood out. Plus, both times we have visited China we took our eldest daughter and that created even more stares.
I joked that if we made people pay for the pictures with us that we could pay for another trip to China. But mostly people smiled or tried to touch our daughter, whom they thought was so pretty with such white skin. Even here in the Chicago Chinatown we are stared at a lot by the resident Chinese. It is nice to meet someone who understands my situation.
You sounds like an outstanding couple, and how wonderful to have three lovely daughters. I was once married to a white woman. I agree with most of what you said. Or you can look through a website called http: Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts — and for sharing that website.
One I dated my first Chinese boyfriend it was like the whole world changed. Please do not be discouraged… Smile! My instincts suggest that your dilemma has less to do with cultural norms and more along the line of gender issues and modern economic circumstances.
Please let me explain…. Once upon a time a very big war happened. Men left behind a society and culture that, until that time, was geared entirely toward them being in charge of everything but child rearing and domestic chores.
With hubby abroad, many women discovered that they did a much better job of fending for themselves than their husbands had for both of them, and, now you have the phenomenally high divorce rate that ensued after said war was over. Flash forward to the last ten years unto present and you can see that single income households are impossible to support, unless you really are rich. Most of us are not. Many people have shamelessly admitted to me that they want a mate who is both a provider and a domestic while they are only a provider or only a domestic.
I was amazed to discover how often this happens, and it essential does because the only person one could trust to finish something correctly and in a timely fashion, was themselves.
The only thing that will literally save your soul and sanity is to NEVER allow yourself to become bitter, or to quit. This is a problem that can be solved.
Not easily, but it can…. First, sit down and look at yourself as if you and your life were a business operation. Who would you put in charge of what? Be brutally honest with yourself, and not just with the criticism, but with realizing what your real strengths and priorities are.
If you did your homework correctly, you just found the basic outline for what man would be most compatible with you and your lifestyle, because like the interlacing finger of your two hands, his purpose is to be strong where you are weak, and to be humble in the areas where you are strong. Tough enough to get past that stereotype, but you are not the only one who needs consistency and trust in a mate. Both of you will always make a few mistakes, but I can promise you, if you are ALWAYS loving and consistent, love will win over any doubt or anger.
I wish you abundant luck and love. I know you will find it… Sincerely, Phoenix Dawnsinger. I do not know about anyone else. Many children of Asian-white couples including Chinese men-White women couples tend to be super-smart and high achievers. Dear Brandy, thanks for the comment, and welcome to our not-so-lonely club! And neither did my second. So, it may take some time, but you can find him.
It really does take an unconventional Chinese guy to get over issues like money and, in the case of my husband, the fact that his wife is taller than him! Some men never can get over it, and that is too bad. You might find some inspiration from a recent article I wrote, with some suggestions for meeting Chinese men. There are some great Chinese men out there who would love to have you as their own.
Dear Phoenix, as always, you provide such eloquent answers that I have nothing more to add. Thanks for giving Brandy some advice. If people look back to the 21st century, they will see it is very rich cultural period when the East and West are harmonized and synthesized. One of so far untapped cultural springs is evolved from the interactions between the Chinese man and Western woman. As China regains its confidence and make a greater contribution to the world, you will see the Chinese man will not be shy to bring what is in him to the table.
The first wave of the Western women interested in that will be pleasantly surprised by the new findings.
I am a Chinese, educated in Chinese culture, living in America, dated almost all white women, and married to one. I was determined to bring out what is in my pocket to the table to exchange with what the white women will bring to the table. Life had been very rich indeed. Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I replaced my contact form, tested it, and you should have no problem using it to contact me now.
I have recently started talking to a Chinese male and noticed that my fellow American friends or people who I thought were friends are extremely opposed to the idea of an American female dating a Chinese male. Some of the things people have said are downright hateful and, if I may say, ignorant. Why are people so opposed to Western women dating Chinese men? Culture and ethnicity are not factors that influence my decision to date someone.
He is thoughtful, respectful, smart, intuitive, I can go on forever…. Why are other people so openly opposed to Western females dating Chinese males? There seems to be an extra sense of hostility towards this mixture, as opposed to other interracial dating. If so, how did you overcome this obstacle? Thanks for the comment — and you bring some good questions to the table, here. I think most of us in relationships like ours will experience the unfortunate flip side the ignorance, hate, stereotypes.
I think many decide, because of his stature, gentle voice, etc. Having lived in the east during the past decade, I also know of many white expat American women in places such as Singapore who wont date white expat men who have dated local Asian or even Asian American women.
To them these men are damaged goods. If your date is from mainland China, it is very difficult to decipher.. However, if your date is from Taiwan, Hong Kong, Malaysia or Singapore and definitely if he is Chinese American, the answer is very clear…racism and bigotry! It is very degrading to what it means to be human. Actually, those expat women you mentioned are probably not worth the trouble of starting a relationship with in the first place if their mentality is like that.
Your point is well taken. Croations, Macedonians or Slovenians.
Imsges: dating guys in their mid 20s
If a guy who has two or three things you KNOW will disqualify him for you, don't go out with him. Many times in the workplace I have experienced bosses make my work life miserable, because I was much smaller and fit then them. I've registered the same attitude with other guys, they seemed to have a lot to say on the subject.
So, in the long term I am a little worried on how we will deal with this problem when I leave. Is it actually a warning sign if a guy is too "on"?
But because I love hteir. I was pretty rebellious as a teenager as were most of my close friends - even the ones Speed dating beckenham met after, I think most university educated people, or at mif the ones gujs the difficult courses, have very much stuck to the path that's expected of them all the way along. A man wrapped barbed wire around all of them, but while some trees lived, others died. However, what Dating guys in their mid 20s don't want to dating guys in their mid 20s is I stay with bicycle dating throughout my prime 21 nowhe graduates from grad school in a few years, gets a good job, and dumps for me for someone younger. Time and again this has shown to be a BAD investment. We enjoyed each others company and we do things together.
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