And you can't change what people are going to think of you, but I would imagine that thinking will be worse obviously if you move in so fast. Divorce was finalized this December, and the marriage had been awful for the previous 5 years or so. It was part of my path, so to speak. The question then is this, can the most healthy state of mind also be labelled as being both arrogant and narcissistic, or otherwise should it simply just be considered as the most healthy state. And I usually date girls aged
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Weren't you the ones that jerked many of these guys around when you were young? Again there are exceptions but the problem is every man thinks HE'S the exception and he's not. Your comment "I'm a take charge kind of guy, and she lets me do that and follows my lead" is concerning because it sounds like a selfish personality. I know what your thought process is here. I'm pretty sure I'll go with the 27 year old.
This supposed fact is not based upon the Bible, Koran, Talmud, or any other sacred book from where our definitions of morality are derived. This is simply an opinion based upon the whim of older women who are really really pissed that they don't get that kind of attention.
Personally I think that it is a myth the going younger for the men anyways is much better. The only success I have had was a woman my age and just recent, well she is actually 3 months older, so I guess I am dating an older woman lol. I was talking to someone last night, she is 49 and she is dating a 64 year old. Here came the excuses aka red flags he did not do this or this or this but she could over look those things.
When I was 23 I date a 46 year old nice gal but very controlling. If you click with someone age does not matter, that said, the gap will eventually get wider. Dating dead people is wrong.
Beside I am with a woman older than me by 6 years, so what does age matter. Not until he's As a woman who was IF she does it's not for your looks, your personality, your skills as a lover. I've got a question for the men who want someone half their age What is that you get off on the most about a woman half your age The control over her?
That you can abuse her because she's naive? That you feel you own her because you've "bought" her? That you've now got a maid and slave? Surely it's not because you honestly love her. Maybe it's she isn't bitter, yet, not feeling too sorry for herself, wants to and is capable of having fun, an adventuresome optimistic spirit, a hunger to learn and experience and or me seeing the world again through fresh, unjaded eyes. Of course we can love her. While I am not looking for a woman half my age, I would be perfectly comfortable with one and would probably enjoy her overnight bag instead of a contemporary's steamer trunk.
When I was in my early to mid 20's, I was with a man 20 years older. It was wonderful, he was great. He wasn't a manipulator, or a pervert, or abusive or jaded or anything bad. We had a great time and I wouldn't have changed anything about it. Well, other than for the reason we broke it off. I wanted to have children, and he was done. We couldn't work that out, so we parted. He still has a piece of my heart, I think I have a piece of his. We run into each other occasionally.
I don't know that it would have lasted forever, no one can know that, but for the time we had, it was the right thing.
Whats his age now? You were 20 he was He was a perv. People who have been perpetrated against seldom see their perpetraitors as wrongdoers. You were victimized by a manipulative older man. Thank you for your concern. I do agree that seldom do people who have been in a perverted relationship know they were in one while in it. However, with the grace of time and a lot of therapy unrelated to this dear man you malign , this relationship was the one I needed at that time.
It was part of my path, so to speak. I would also venture to say that I was more mature emotionally than many in their 20's. And he was really a damn good time. And Bill, this should really open up a can of worms My half-sister is married to someone 18 years older.
Perhaps it's a family thing? People who were sexually assaulted as a child are generally inclined to try to recreate that as adults. It is not uncommon for women who were abused as children to seek out older men.
And if the abuse was rampant in the family then yes, the women will all grow up seeking older men. I'm glad you have fond memories of this man. But he was a perpetraitor. There is no question of that. If you know how to ride a bike, why buy one with training wheels????? It's not as easy as you might think. But, she's just a KID. Who by the way think I'm sick , broads. Meet singles at DateHookup.
Well if your 30 then no but if your 40 sure go ahead. Yes if it's not his daughter and shes not under age.
There are literally millions of relationships like this. Last year I dropped down to 14 years younger, I would never and I know never is a long time do that again. As long as she is from the ages 18 legal age to death.
I was thinking more along the lines 36 half of that is Kinky, Sure I thought the same thing, I was young, had no baggage, I had a zest for life, of course I wanted to learn, see the world and have him show me things I may never have alone HE was jaded, he knew everything so I was always wrong, to hide the fact that he had nothing to give I had to do everything on my own, if I suggested going somewhere he never liked anything I suggested. All I know of older men is this: So officially dating for 8 months.
Before that you were sleeping together before your divorce was final. Disregarding ages, it sounds like she is a rebound. That is my first impression. But you are still moving in together? Have you guys talked about your relationship will it be long term or just for the time being?
My advice would be to make sure you are both on the same page, relationship wise? Aside from your kids, I wouldn't worry what anybody else thinks about your relationship especially if they base it just on your ages. You are both consenting adults. It's nobody else's buisness. My Dad is is in his early 50's and married a year-old woman a couple of years ago.
I have a sister who is 24 and I'm We still don't like her and I'm not sure we ever will. Your divorce was finalized this December and your relationship with your ex-wife has been awful 5 years before that, so that's definitely not a very good environment for your kids. And shortly after that you introduced them to your 22 year old girlfriend.
And it's not like they're 5 or 25 years old, they're 14 they're teenagers. So pretty much they've had to experience all of this plus puberty. Of course she lets you take charge, you're "the daddy". Good luck with Family 2. Your twins will resent you but maybe you can make new babies and replace your kids with them. Yeah, feels pretty bad. To know I could be discarded like yesterdays trash for not being young anymore. I'm still young but am teaching myself to be comfortable being alone.
Even in your 40's, to have the selflessness to be a teacher and guide her through life without taking is Needy and hurt from a divorce? I'm 39 and I could see myself dating a 22yo, but I could never ever see myself in a relationship with one. That's what he doesn't understand: Her brain isn't even ready to handle what he's got going on in his life. And part of her development is learning stuff relative to her.
Physically externally , adolescence is over for her. It probably isn't, or if it is, it's just ending. I'm just getting to be old enough to know that I know zero things about life. When I look at a man in his mid 40's I see someone who I just can not relate to in some very major ways. What life experiences could we possibly share at this point? I'm going out on a bit of a limb here and being quite judgmental, but if one of my friends were dating a man his age there is NO way I would take it seriously.
I think OP is forgetting what its like to be I'm about to graduate from college and really be on my own for the first time. I'm about to start my career and try to find my place in the world. It makes me feel like a kid. I could absolutely see how someone my age would crave stability I would be a little wary of this girls interest in a man so much older than her.
Maybe I'm being too cynical about this, but I've heard girls my age make comments such as "I wish I could find a rich old guy for the next few years" hundreds of times. It was almost always said as a joke, but I think there is something important there. Comments like that emphasize how much people in this point of life are looking for stability and guidance, but the joke was how weird and uncomfortable it would be to find that in someone 20 years their senior.
That being said, my father would absolutely shit if I brought home a 40 something year old man and I would not blame him at all.
No it's just a reddit thing. For a group of open liberals they certainly have strict stances on sex and marriage. Shit like this makes me feel bad for women, this guy can get married, live a life, get tired of his wife, and start over with an impressionable 22 year old.
It goes both ways. You're angling this whole thing like the OP deliberately went out to trade up to a younger model, forgetting about the 5 years of hell he went through before they got a divorce. There's also nothing wrong with a 'take charge' personality and many women find that more attractive than a man who consistently asks for her opinion before making a decision.
The only issues I see here are really how the kids are going to handle it which should be the priority. He should be spending plenty of quality time alone with them being a good dad. We have no evidence that he hasn't been doing this.
If he's smart he'll also say good and respectful things about their mother when he's around them, regardless of how he actually feels about her. The whole 'domineering older boyfriend' angle is just a red herring. The 22yo is an adult with agency and is capable of making her own decisions. He's not fully responsible for her decision to move in with him as long as he's being honest which he is.
To be honest, a lot of the posts here have been tinged with insecurity about men leaving their wives for a younger model and all the shaming that goes with that. I really don't blame women for feeling that way at all, because I know exactly how I feel when the vaguest hint of guys being cuckolded gets mentioned.
The lizard brain just jumps out and takes over. I disagree - I think the majority of the responders are mostly concerned about how young she is and that he might be taking advantage of her. How is she supposed to grow up and become her own person if she goes straight from Daddy's house to I'm a year-old female.
If any of my friends was dating a year-old, I'd be really disgusted and definitely feel she was being taken advantage of. I don't think I have any friends with enough daddy issues to do that, though. A woman could do the same. And have her husband pay for it.
Why are you turning this into a battles of the sexes? OP's daughter should be all set by then. I hope he doesn't mind. Everybody is the way I say it. If they are not, I will paint their character as broken to enforce my own point. I highly doubt that. I've had more than a few friends have positive things to say, so its not universal at all. If the fact that you're both happy is all that matters, why are you here asking the Internet? Everybody you meet is going to think it's midlife crisis.
You keep doing what you're doing and don't give a shit and just worry about your relationship. Only time will tell if it's meant to last. My personal guess is - unlikely, but I don't know you. What have your kids said? Have they talked to you since meeting her? Divorce can be extremely stressful for children, especially around that age. They'll feel unsure of what their family life will be like moving forward. Compound that with you parading around a girl a few years older than them, they'll likely be very confused and very hurt.
It sounds like not only do you not care about how they would react, you really want nothing to do with them, and that's very sad to me. You keep mentioning your concern for what your friends think, but what about hers? How do you expect you'll mix and mingle at a year-old's house party? This relationship probably won't last. The winky face when discussing how young the pussy you're getting is pretty creepy.
Help with others understanding? When your last marriage started she didn't even exist yet. Maybe others do understand it, but rather it's you who insists on doing mental jumping jacks.
I'm getting a really creepy vibe from this post. The emphasis you put on sex and ''taking charge'' makes me feel like that's probably the only reason you're with her and it's not going to last. She's young and naive, it's not fair for you to take advantage of that. I'm just putting this out there as a general thing Most of the relationships I see on here who have had trouble moved in within the first year of dating.
Now mix in a huge age difference? It's really not a good idea she move in with you so quickly. These relationships usually never last more than a few years, in my experience. When I was 17 I dated a guy who was 11 years older than me. He was a family friend, so he wasn't just some random guy. We dated for 2 years.
I had a crush on him for years before we dated, and it was like that little childish crush you really loved having come true. It was awesome for a while. We had a lot in common, mainly because he was childish and immature and we practically matched with maturity, and I was young and naive and let him make decisions.
I know he really cared about me, at first, but when I couldn't give him what he wanted a strong commitment he distanced himself. When I graduated high school and went to college I felt like we could be more, and i tried very hard to make it work with him. He was disconnected by this point, although I didn't know it at the time and ended up cheating, breaking my heart and making it hard to trust again in relationships.
I am now 23 and I see how young and naive I really was. It was fun, but ultimately I knew it was a temporary relationship, with an older man that found me super sexy and reallllyyyy boosted my confidence. I felt like a sex goddess.
He couldn't keep his hands off me. Anyways, my point is, this won't work. She probably doesn't see a future with you, and even if you do, what do you possibly have in common other than being active and having great sex? You could be her dad. Her life is just beginning. She probably doesn't have a career one of the factors that might draw her to you, since you can support her , she wants to party, go out, still wants kids which pathetically as a man you could still do, but do you want to be a 60 year old with a 14 year old?
Are you actually going to take any of the advice here? Like not moving in together or paying attention to your kids' needs? There's no way to "help others understand" you. But you're being a horrible example to your kids. When your daughter is 21, will she be looking for a something man to latch onto? Will your son be able to form meaningful, healthy relationships with women close to his own age? Your nasty divorce follows after years of nasty marriage that was just as hard on those kids as it was on you and your ex.
Put the brakes on shacking up with Allison and pay more attention to your kids. You're a really bad Dad. No wonder your ex-wife hates you. You seem like a really selfish person. I'm guessing he'll break off contact with his kids pretty soon. It seems like he really wishes he never had them. I'm guessing he already mostly did because upthread he's saying how his year-olds 'have their own lives now' and how he 'thinks' they're ok with the situation. Doesn't exactly sound like he's been talking with his kids a lot.
You fucking idiot, date somebody your own age and don't move in with her. You are going to ruin her life with your "old-as-fuckness". We have running and sex in common! I didn't get sex from my ex-wife and now I'm going to move in with her because she's the first thing since my ex and I'm going to control her and ruin her twenties even though I think our long term prospects are shit. I won't reiteration the daddy issues and mid life crisis posts I pretty much agree with them, but the issue has been covered.
Here is what you need to be thinking about. She is going to change and grow a lot in the next few years Especially when it comes to "taking charge". Make sure you give her the opportunity to continue growing, and not stifle her education or career while you guys play house for a while. Keep your families separate My sister was in a similar relationship, and it took the family years to get comfortable, and about the time they did, they broke up.
It was a hell of thing to put everyone through for something that didn't last. And don't even thing about kids. It is years down the road before the conversation even starts. You cant change that, only thing you can do is talk to then, explain she an you are happy and hope folks are happy for you. All of the things you describe only become dangerous if he suddenly stops being "a take charge kind of guy" and lets her boss him around.
It'll turn into his first marriage again if he doesn't tackle the shit tests. Not best judgement fighting duo. If it's serious and fun thing, just act like a couple and have public deep conversations with each over so people go 'oh they get along on non sex things' since that's main focus for people.
How does she feel about being a mother, say, starting tomorrow? My husband's father 50s divorced and then got into a relationship with a woman in her early 30s. His sons were in their teens. The new girlfriend didn't want to be a mother and didn't want them in her life. This lasted for five years. My father-in-law has since separated from this lady, but his sons still carry the damage of that relationship. They don't look at their father the same way and on some levels their trust of him is forever damaged.
Heads up, you are my dads age, I'm She's only a few years older than your kids-good luck with that. If it's any consolation, my father 43 at the time married my step mom 22 at the time shortly after his divorce.
They have been married for fourteen years now, and they are very happy together. If you're going to downvote me, please explain why. Downvoting for disliking my comment without presenting any rebuttal against my statement more factual than opinionated but whatever is lame. I don't know why you are being downvoted for showing that this age difference is not uncommon, and can produce happy marriages.
I do wish you the best. My advise would be to enjoy the journey, its about the ride.. Not to make an AMA but I need to ask you a couple questions. Do you believe that you both can work together as equal partners towards a common goal?
If yes, what is that goal? Do you believe that the relationship will benefit her growth she is 22 into life? When your daughter is 18, would you be willing to accept her in a relationship with a man that is 42? Keep in mind that at 22 we still have a lot to learn and grow from, also, whatever you do, your children learn, you are their role model.
I only ask these questions so you can learn for yourself. Wish you the best on your journey! Take some time to breathe, and search deeply if this is what you want. No one is obliging you to anything so don't press yourself for no reason. First friend is Female, 24 and dating a 40 year old man. The age always got in the way in terms of when they were going to start a family, his insecurities, etc.
Second friend was a 22 year old male who dated a 47 year old woman. She was very recently divorced, with kids, much like your situation. Both of them agreed on exclusivity, and chose to keep their relationship hush-hush except for a few close friends. Unfortunately, people found out. They were both very embarrased. His mother found out and hated it. Her kids don't yet know. Most importantly, despite their agreements and "honesty" they shared, he cheated on her constantly with college girls, even a stripper.
He denied it until proof was literally shoved in his face, and the woman became heartbroken though still made excuses for him. She constantly expressed her insecurities related to age - always feeling like she needed to compete with the more youthful, skinnier girls. You can't be that serious for long. Sorry, I think you're wasting your time unless this is a fling. But when you are twenty two, you are restless.
As much as she seems "old worldly," chances are she is going to realize what she is missing by dating someone closer in age. She will go out with girlfriends and see the prospects and the fun you have at that age.
I say enjoy what you have now, but don't expect a life long commitment. If you just finalized your divorce in December you should take time for yourself and date around any age woman. You sound like an interesting person, but don't expect a life long commitment from her. Your comment "I'm a take charge kind of guy, and she lets me do that and follows my lead" is concerning because it sounds like a selfish personality.
She is at a point where she needs to be allowed creativity and opinions so she can shape herself into her full potential. Honestly, with all respect, I think you should back off for now. You just got a divorce, new seems great and dandy. But it comes with its own set of problems. You're acting as if you are in a mid life crisis, and you may well be in one.
More than that, you're constantly leading her, and you're affecting her psychology a lot. You're acting as part significant other, part parent.
Again, you just got a divorce. Take it down to a friendship, hold off on moving in with each other, and live your life and let her live her life for a while. You're already having one major lifestyle change, no need to add in another, and possibly hurt a few people in the process. If you really want to be perceived well, you should really downplay the taking charge while she follows stuff. Also "My ex-wife hates her and the idea of us, which I don't mind at all!
You're divorced and have children together and being hateful to her in any way is trashy and it's bad parenting. Play up the common interests and be frank about the good sex and people will respect your honesty. I don't think age differences are such a huge deal when you're talking about two adults who happen to have fallen in love, but you're playing into the trophy wife narrative here and that's not healthy for anyone.
You married your ex when she was 22 and I'm sure you can visualize all the various ways she changed in your 24 years of marriage. She and you were too young to know what you wanted forever and too young to be fully developed as people and you turned into people who hate each other.
For goodness sake, you have kids that listen to the same shitty music she does. This relationship is almost entirely dependent on sex. As she ages and becomes more wise, you will almost certainly fade away. The entire scenario is sketchy, and your friends aren't able to ignore those awkward "what the fuck are doing" vibes from their perspective. Your own perspective is completely skewed, and you aren't able to see through the fog that is a horny, smokin' hot 22 year old sex machine.
I can't possibly imagine your interests and goals lineup at all the moment you remove sex from this equation. I don't even want to speculate why you are recently divorced, but I'm certain we are all thinking the same thing. The point being that a 14 year old and a 22 year old is not such a great difference in age. And yes, 22 year olds often have terrible taste.
Fuck the haters, good for you. Maintain your leader role and if her attraction starts to wane the age difference may be a deal breaker. I think you can make it work. In 5 years your kids will have more in common with her than you will. I do not think you need to work extra hard at building a bridge of communication between Allison and your twins, they will make it work because of their age proximity. Do you view this as a long term thing, or something just to pass the time?
It sounds like your wounds from the divorce are still pretty fresh and I wonder if starting a relationship when the pain is still evident is the smartest thing to do.
I am willing to bet your wife let you be a take charge kind of guy when she was But having been married 24 years you know that women do change as they get older. You know this, because you saw your wife go through it. And think how many relationships that are rebounds blow up in the faces of those that end up in them. You were separated, started doing her and then filed for divorce. It's a rebound with what you think of as the polar opposite of your ex wife.
Kids and my opinions on step parents and how much your relationship with them matters aside, here is exactly how it will feel for your lady friend. Ones her own age will sneer at her and call her a gold digger or a whore. Men your age will think she's a gold digger, and think that they have a chance with her.
Men older than you will think she's a gold digger. Ones her age either will think she's crazy or a gold digger. The rest will think she's a lovestruck child being taken advantage of.
But as long as you reassure her that how those people perceive her doesn't matter, and that the age doesn't bother you, it is worth it for her. She realizes that you both are in very different stages of your lives and she worries that you will leave her because of that.
If she is genuinely interested in a longterm relationship with you, she will be worried that you one day you will wake up from your "midlife crisis" what her friends have assuredly called your relationship and leave her. Be reassuring, but don't lead her on. Don't make her feel like you are ever embarrassed or ashamed of what you two are doing. My f22 SO m41 and I have been together for over a year now, and I love him to pieces.
We are in an exclusive, committed relationship where we genuinely love spending time together, no matter what we are doing. It's not going to be easy for her, but she wouldn't be with you if she didn't want to. As far as making other people understand, you can't. The only advice I can give is just act normal around her, around other people. Don't hold back touching or being near her, and don't go overboard and shlob her knob in front of people. If someone asks you about it, or confronts you about it, just explain that you are in an exclusive relationship with so and so, you understand that not everyone will approve, and politely say their opinion doesn't bother you or change your mind about her.
Your situation is complicated greatly by your kids and your ex wife, I hope if you guys are really serious about this and if you genuinely want to be with her that it works out! I can't imagine bringing a forty something to chill with my friends! We all hang out all the time. I hang out with his friends more often than not, but honestly that's just because of how everyone's schedule is. He's met all of my friends and because he and I get along so well, he also gets along with my friends.
I have a pretty wide age group of friends, so it's not like its a bunch of 22 year olds and then a random 40 year old. I know age seems like a big deal, but it's really all about personalities and compatability more than anything. I don't think I've ever met a man, who dated or married a woman that much younger than him, that didn't ultimately turn out to be incredibly immature.
My opinion of men who do this is quite low because they all have an inherently creepy vibe to them and most of these men tend to be very selfish. I would bet money that your kids are going to stop wanting to see you pretty soon after she moves in. You are about to destroy your relationship with them and you are either clueless to it or you don't give a shit. Either way you're still a fucking idiot. You have done a fantastic job of materializing the worst stereotypes of a middle-aged man.
I just wanted to offer some perspective on this from the point of view of the child in this situation. My father m45 was with my mother f43 for 15 years, they argued a lot and the divorce took a really hard toll on everyone. My dad left my mother for another woman when I was 13, and I had to deal with a lot of horrible emotions after that: I built up a lot of resentment and hurt. Fast forward four years, and my dad has left this other woman, who was terrible for him in every way.
After a long, long time, I sighed a sigh of relief: What happened next is that my dad met a woman barely older than me online, and they got married within nine months. This woman, though they had similar interests and seemed to fit well together, looked so young - like she was a teenager. She didn't speak to me at all the first couple of years of their marriage, and I still don't feel welcome at their house - he very, very rarely invites me over.
By now I have my own life and I've learned to accept that my dad makes his own dating choices. In many ways, his wife turned out to be a great fit for him.
I had to get here over mountains of hurt and insecurity because of his jumping into unsuitable relationships. I missed my dad tremendously at times when I needed him, and some part of me needed him to be with someone who could handle me - not someone who was my age! I get along with his wife now, we talk about pop music and new movies and what else is trendy.
However, I feel like I'm spending time with a classmate of mine. I also can't help but feel creeped out by his choice sometimes. I can't help but ascribe emotional immaturity to a man who sees an equal in a woman half his age. So my advice to you is this: Please don't get so caught up in how young and sexy she is that you forget she is also a person, a young person, who has a lot of changing and developing to do, and whom you will have to learn to run an adult life with once the butterflies have settled.
She's 22 - she was a teenager four years ago! She probably hasn't even lived that long outside of her parents' house. Please think - what if she wants kids? Have you discussed this? Please be careful going forward, please don't forget about your kids, and, for the love of all that is holy, don't show them how much you dislike their mother.
And if you have a daughter, please teach her that "young and sexy" isn't the only thing a woman has to offer her partner. When and how did you meet your new lady? Also, do you know the reasons why you and your wife got a divorce? You said it was turbulent so I wanna take a wild guess that you didn't just drift away.
Was there a separation of views? Did your priorities change? Well, considering the divorce was final in December and he's been seeing the young girl for 8 months Pretty much why I worded it the way I did. People have been separated for 2 years, but not divorced. The marriage could've ended a long time ago, but only legally in December.
I'm a 24 year old woman dating a 55 year old man with kids that are older than me. So I totally understand In the end most people have been pretty supportive and are of the opinion that as long as we're both happy who gives a fuck about anyone else. Obviously, you can't take that stance completely because you have kids who are still kids On the other hand though, teenagers will be teenagers. They quite possibly won't take very well to any new partner you have.
One of the best things about my relationship is that although we have "different experiences and ideas" we're constantly learning from each other and always have something interesting to talk about.
The best way to get people to understand is to just live your life. If you really do fit well it will work out and no one will care in 10 years.
My uncle 55 recently married a 27 year old. They just had their first kid. They are incredibly happy together. His kids from his first marriage are around her age. It took some getting used to at first but are happy for them now. If you're truly happy together, everyone else can mind their own business and they'll get over it.
Not saying that this will always be the case though. People usually say "divide by two, add seven. Well, he's old enough to be her father I don't consider myself a child, but I consider myself "child-like" in comparison to someone who could be my father or mother.
I'm just going to say that just because you were ready for marriage at her age doesn't mean she is in the same frame of mind. I think you're setting yourself up for failure, she's going to eventually get that wandering eye, because hey, settling down can be boring, and what if she wants to go out, and you don't? She's going to start to see that she can still attract the cute younger guys who are interested in those things, and eventually probably going to break it off.
Just judging from what most 22 year old "women" are like these days, I doubt you're going to be with this person forever.
Yea, when I was 22, I didn't identify as a woman, and whether or not I enjoyed relationships and settling down, I was not ready for it in the least.
No matter how sincere your intentions you simply cant change the fact that you two are in completely different places in your life. Anyway you crack it this cannot work in any reasonable way. You mean because it makes old women feel unwanted and they are entitled to feel like pretty princesses their entire lives? You can't do anything to make sure other people understand. The best you can do is is to take it in stride and hope that your loved ones will be accepting.
There's a saying that goes something like, "The people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter. It's much easier said than done, and I'd know. I'm 22 and my ex is 40, and it was a fantastic relationship. He was going back to school for a second degree while I was in college we dated for 3 years and just broke up 5 months ago , so we were kind of in similar places.
Oddly enough, it was mostly my peers that had such a problem with it. His family was pretty understanding, my family eventually came around, his friends were accepting and the guys were a bit jealous , but I lost friends over it. I had the mothers of my friends treat me like I was scum and gossip about me behind my back, and eventually those friends stopped talking to me. Ultimately we broke up just because I wasn't feeling the relationship anymore. I don't think it had much to do with the age difference, although I think maybe it played a small part beneath the surface of the break up.
I think it worked so well for its duration because, despite the age difference, we were in similar places in life. He had never been married and didn't have any kids. Maybe it should have been a red flag at his age, but throughout the 3 years we were together I never saw anything negative associated with it. If he had had kids or had more "baggage" I think it would have made the relationship a lot more difficult, or it at least would have made the age difference more glaringly obvious.
I guess my advice would be to enjoy it while it lasts. There's a good chance it won't, just because you have so much working against you, but every relationship has its obstacles. The age difference and complications that go along with it just so happens to be your greatest one. There will be plenty of people who will judge you and will be against it because of they can do math.
Imsges: dating girl half your age
The stats you show do not account for these rapid changes that only began in the 's. I highly doubt that. You are both consenting adults.
If you look at studies now you'll see that women have an average 9 year age range either side of their own with a preference for a small 4 years either side of their own age. Then forget the haters — go for it my friend. Of course, some young women rack up impressive notch counts early in life.
Bill I truly do appreciate your concern and beliefs, Bill. Why Toxic People Get Ahead. Dating girl half your age does she feel about being a mother, say, starting tomorrow? If we are, we have to dating girl half your age what everyone thinks about us. I missed my dad tremendously at times when I needed him, and some part of me needed him to be with someone who could handle me - not someone who was aeg age! The sex is pretty fantastic too, and its one of those things where younger is better ; I can keep datign with her and we have similar drives and tastes sexually.
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