Alt Club Pics
You need to be proactive. Oxford Cloth Button Down. M Bar CureWednesdays Pictures. PS -- Both those pictures come from the same style blog, The Sartorialist, which I suggest you bookmark and check out from time to time. They're as honest as they can be. Also, look at the aesthetics and "rules" promulgated elsewhere online, so you can see that there are different points of view on a lot of these things.
From there, everyone will be more than happy to help! Fwiw dressing better etc isnt necessarily a quick thing. It's taken me a good year to sort of get down what my style is and how I can dress well and send the message I want to send with my clothes. So I can only advise the OP to not go out and buy too much expensive stuff as you'll just end up with lots of clothes you don't wear. Quick side note sir: Don't take anything here as a rule. If you personally think blue suede shoes look utterly bad ass with some leather chaps and a doo-rag?
It makes you happy. MFA will help you wear what you like better and it will help you find higher quality items Sorry to hear that you are single, but glad to hear you are using recent events to take stock of yourself and engage in a little self-improvement.
A lot of people have told you to read the side-bar, and that's probably a good place to start. However, I think that MFA's side-bar might actually be a bit overwhelming and confusing I'd love to hear your experience on it if you have the chance. You seem like a reasonably-dressed, thirtysomething dude. So take any and all advice you get on MFA in stride. You seem like a suburban guy, so if you grew out your beard and started wearing a pashmina, fedora and brow-line glasses , you would probably get a lot of shit from people when you went to the local BW3 to watch March Madness.
Do you look at hipster guys and think, "Damn, I wish I could grow out my beard and rock a pashmina and a denim jacket! As you put it, your knowledge of fashion is so weak that you're "not even sure what to ask. When you see a guy whose outfit you like, take note. Do you want to rock a key for an earring? Or do you just want to look more dope in jeans and a sweater?
Start to pay attention to these things. PS -- Both those pictures come from the same style blog, The Sartorialist, which I suggest you bookmark and check out from time to time. As you are trying to figure out how you want to dress, you may feel some anxiety. Sometimes your friends might give you a little shit.
Sometimes you might get a compliment. But most of the time, people won't even notice. Please keep in mind that you can dress like a hipster on Monday if you want. You can dress like an outdoorsman on Tuesday if you want. You can dress like a prep on Wednesday if you want. You can dress like a hip-hop space invader on Thursday if you want. You can change your style from day to day.
You are not what you wear, so don't be intimidated to simply try new things. I used to wear boot-cut jeans. Lots of room in the thighs. I tried on skinny jeans and was like, "Holy shit, these are the most uncomfortable thing ever. They made my boot-cut jeans look downright silly and sloppy. So I bought a pair of skinny jeans.
Now I find skinny jeans to be the most comfortable fit of jeans. I tried on an old pair of boot-cut jeans and was astonished at how I ever wore them or thought they were comfortable. So you really won't know what you like until you try things out. I already mentioned I like skinny jeans.
I've bought expensive pairs of jeans, but the more you pay doesn't always mean you get a better product. My current favorite pair is from The Gap. You may not want to go that tight, but look for things that say "slim fit.
Everybody has a different body, and not every pair of pants fits the same on everyone. You're wearing jeans and a Henley in your photos, so if that's what you're comfortable in, you can make improvements in your style by simply upgrading your current style.
Find jeans that fit better. Having a pair of blue jeans, black jeans and grey jeans will give your wardrobe a TON of variety.
Really, you can probably get by in most situations in life with only those jeans. Buy a few single-color Henleys and see how the red one works with your black, blue and grey pants. Buy a blue denim jacket and see how it looks with the black, blue and grey pants. Figuring out shoes will probably take a long time, but it's worth it. Shopping isn't just something you do when you need a new item.
As you develop your style, you'll figure out that it's actually really hard to find stuff that you really like. So you have to figure out where you find things you like and check in on those places frequently. Oftentimes, they won't have anything you like. OP can also read this pay attention to 1 and this is also a good read 4 on the list. The sidebar is a great place to start, and should answer every basic question you've got. Just adding to this, sidebar first without a doubt then hit the daily threads.
If you have more specific questions or just want to see what kind of fits look good, the dailies are a good place to look as well. Also your questions will likely get more exposure there. I was in a somewhat similar situation a couple years back I was a few years younger, and it was 8 years rather than 15, and I only lost 30 pounds, not As others say, start with the sidebars here.
But also, you have to pick and choose and think critically about what you're seeing. Figure out which advice works for you. Be aware that MFA is dominated by a younger demographic, and there is some stuff the 20 year olds can pull off that old fucks like us don't need to be embracing. Don't try and change your "style" completely, at least not at first.
Rather, take what you're doing already and figure out how to refine it a couple notches. So if you're a jeans and tshirt guy, there's nothing wrong with that; look through the range of recommended options and figure out what cuts and sizes of both are best for you. If you're a sneakers guy, again, fine--look at the suggestions for sneakers, figure out what makes sense.
Then, maybe, you could think about adding a few buttondown shirts into the rotation, a pair of boots, that kind of thing. But take your time. Also, look at the aesthetics and "rules" promulgated elsewhere online, so you can see that there are different points of view on a lot of these things.
Check out the fashion blogs on the sidebar, and hang out on places like styleforum or dappered. Train your eye by looking at the fit feedback thread here, WAYWT threads there, so on--get used to looking at details. Also if by chance you're in NYC and need someone to have a beer with, I'm totally up for it. I am in no great position to be offering people fashion advice, but just to say good for you taking the initiative, good luck and enjoy the weekend ahead!
Damn, lots of good replies here! Thanks for the input everyone I'm still going through the sidebar stuff, and it seems I've got some research to do from the various suggestions here. And then a lot of shopping, apparently You should digest the information here, figure out what you want to develop as your personal style first, and then start piecing together a complete wardrobe for your personal style bit by bit. I cannot stress this enough.
It will be tempting to want to jump in and get a lot of stuff, but more often than not, you'll be stuck with a ton of stuff that you wonder why you ever got in the first place. In the beginning, it's also quite easy to get stuff because you're sort of told to.. One piece of advice that really stuck with me when I was starting over at your age was along the lines of "Think about what kind of woman you would like to date.
Are they wearing a pear or baggy jeans, a baggy shirt, and some tennis shoes? Dirty hair pulled up with a rubber band? Is that what you want? No, and they probably are not doing that either Do you think your outfit looks clean, sharp, nice? Do you look clean? Then women probably don't think so either.
Get a nice outfit, wear it, and smile. Haircut, something clean and short. You look like you just got out of bed. Either have facial hair or not, but the non-shaved in-between look you have makes me think you look lazy, sweaty, and dirty.
As an older guy, I like button down shirts, but not "any old thing" and not plain or solid color shirts. Robert Graham and English Laundry have some unique styles, and you can find many on eBay for good prices. Can you get some slacks instead of jeans? Maybe even some nice Khakis. If you have to wear jeans, I personally like very new looking dark blue jeans. For whatever reason, they seem to look "nicer" to me, and women tend to agree. Get rid of the tennis shoes. I'm sure you'll find some great advice here, but I like Wingtips and other non-plain dress shoes.
I have some from Aldo that I love, like this but in a suede http: It's cheaper to buy a pair of, say, Allen Edmonds than it is to replace your Aldos when they fall apart. Thanks for the advice and recommendation.
I agree with everyone suggesting for you to read the sidebar, but if you want a quick "mfa starter pack", here are a few frequently recommended items for you to consider:.
Oxford Cloth Button Down. Go as bold as you feel comfortable with, but white, grey, and navy are safe choices. Slim Dark Wash Jeans. Just like I tell singles of any age, your perfect person is not just going to show up at your doorstep one day with flowers and a bottle of wine in hand. You need to be proactive. So I want you to ask yourself if you've done enough.
Have you really networked as much as you can? Have you gone on a great online dating site, wrote a really good profile and started contacting some men online? Have you researched what things are going on in your area to which you could go? Have you truly done everything you possibly can do, because I seriously doubt that there are no men in their 40s that you can date.
I just think that you've been frustrated, and you've let that get to you. It happens to a lot of single people. The next thing to do is to do a little "homework. See what things are interesting to you. Don't choose things you have no personal interest in just because you think there might be men there to meet. You will not only have more fun, but will also be most successful meeting people, when you are enjoying your life and creating good energy.
At the same time, though, be open to lots of possibilities. Here are some ideas for you to research. Try finding out about happy hours that are out there for people in their 40s. Consider speed dating events. Try having lunch in areas where there are hospitals where you can meet doctors.
Go where lawyers are hanging out around lunchtime or during happy hours. Have you thought about going to car dealerships? Many of the high-end ones actually have parties. Go to one and tell them you'd love to come to one of their parties when they have new car releases. There's networking events like Toastmasters where people will go and they will speak. Think outside the box and get researching. So, I'm challenging you right now to put together a list. Find at least ten places you can go or ten things you can do in your town other than what I've suggested.
I had a client one time who actually went to hospital and had lunch every single day because she wanted to meet a doctor. Sure enough, after two and-a-half months she did meet a doctor. It's all about pursuing what you want and taking the steps to get it.
Now that we've talked about your mindset, had you do some research and even had you make a list, the only thing left to do is to actually get yourself out there and start meeting people. Life is in the field.
Imsges: dating again at 35
Will you ever have a date again? Life is about enjoying the moment.
A lot of people have told you to read the side-bar, and that's probably a good p2 dating time to start. Find jeans that fit better. Everybody has a different body, and not every pair of pants fits the same on everyone. If you're a sneakers guy, again, fine--look at the suggestions for sneakers, figure out what makes sense. PS -- Both those pictures come from the same style blog, The Sartorialist, dating again at 35 I suggest you bookmark and check out from time to time.
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