England captain John Terry jeered on the pitch as affair with team mate's girlfriend is revealed
My heart was crushed in early February this year and my marriage and Love life was completely muddled and broken down. Well he finally came clean. FA insiders claimed Terry's future depended on how fellow players react to him before a friendly against Egypt in March. Once again make sure you contact him if you have any problem he will help you. Why Donald Trump Jr. I am going through the same emotions that everyone here is. It is not like he is on the street anyway, he has a choice of 3 addresses at the moment as far as I know — the problem is that he will have to choose between Australia, Germany, and Italy.
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Adule i was able to get her back within 48 hours for this reason i will be dropping the contact information of Dr. You can contact us via Email: I have never been so happy in my life like the way i am today. How naive of them thinking your nice. Dr oga is really a gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man. You are going to go through all of the horrible emotions that are associated with betrayal. At first i thought it was all a lie but i decided to give it a try since there was no option and, when i contacted this MAN he laughed and told me that, that is too small for him to handle but i was still in doubt, and he gave me a form to fill which I did, then he called me and told me that his gods required some items in which he will use in preparing the cure for me.
A man, who you knew lied and cheated his wife, his family. But maybe you known! As something very special has been taken from me. We all can make mistakes in life, even so horrible ones! He ask me to forgive him, admitted his mistake, and said sorry. I still believe in my husband, the father of my children! I believe him, that he loves me. Intention are good but action are better. After being found out, being caught, the choice was his! But you still kept it going after he said he needs to return home.
Crying,pleading, feeling sorry for you and what you lost, what you thought should be yours. You told him in a letter, just live your life, be happy!
Why stay with your wife, if she makes you unhappy! Go and travel, find yourself and when your back, I hope you come to me! You forgot one more little weeny thing to start a good relationship… commitment!
Believe it or not, I felt sorry for you and for my husband. Though I raged at you in my head, loathed the look of you, wanted to go sick, went sick each time I imagined you two together, went in the shower or bath, to scrub and clean myself from soooooo much dirt. I felt a shiver of pity for you. I know I have to go on what is left of your trail in my life, my believes have been shattered, after 20 years with all their ups and downs.
And let me Tell you, there have been more happy than unhappy times! Let me tell you after such a long relationship and partnership, you can loose track and things can go terrible wrong. Is this a midlife crises? I have no idea. It happens to the best in this world we living in. It takes a lot of control, strengths, believe in your partner, in your self and one feelings to go back on the right road, to rebuild the trust!
Its extremely though, but Love, care, believe and forgiveness give me some strengths and I hope I somehow can leave everything behind and find my happiness in life again. Only to let you know, The door has been always open for him to walk out! I have no idea where you are now. Why is it that they always tend to blame the other party when they are the ones making all these bad choices?
She denies having any sexual contact ,but that I doubt now??. How can you go to a ex boyfriend and meet with him alone when you were warned not to do that? Her reason was to set the record straight? What record is there to set straight??? And alone as well???? I am hurting so much in this now , I cannot even think straight??
Is to love somebody really so hurtful? I recently caught my husband out in an affair he has been having with a much younger woman from his work. We have been together 9 years, married three and have a five year old son. I am devastated and want to move back where my family and support are but I think he is going to try to stop me. He at first blamed her, then blamed me and then told me he loved her and wanted to be with her. He has sent me bullying texts and will refer to our child as his son, but when it comes to any more formal communication he says our son.
I am destroyed he has done this especially when I trusted him so much and he has even put my health at risk of STDs by his actions and now I feel like he is trying to punish me more and more by not letting me move with our son to where we have emotional and physical support, even though I have agreed that I would be wanting to organise contact for him — even though the thought sickens me as I do feel like he and the other woman are not of a moral standing I would really like my son around — she knew who I was and knew he was married and knew who our child was as she saw us togther at swimming.
His family also live where I want to move to. I am writing this post because when I stumbled onto this site, it made me feel less alone. Perhaps someone else in my position will similarly benefit from reading this post. Additionally, I wonder how other people have handled the kind of situation I have experienced.
My husband to whom I have been married for twenty-one years had a six-year affair with his ex-wife. I still am not sure if it was a strictly emotional affair or if it had a sexual dimention. The affair began so innocently. The ex-wife had just been dumped by her boyfriend; my husband, at the urging of his children, phoned her to cheer her up. At that point, he had a cordial but distant relationship with her. I agreed with my husband that we ought to invite her to visit us, because I really liked her, based on our infrequent encounters at weddings and the like.
That invitation was such a mistake. From the moment she arrived, I was a bystander watching as she and my husband rekindled their old feelings for one another. After she went back home, I told my husband how difficult her visit had been for me. He replied that my perceptions were wrong and that he had no romantic interest in her.
I responded to her warmly, extending the hand of friendship to her, but she never replied to me. When he returned, he let slip that he had seen his ex-wife, who still lives there. He said that they had run into each other at a concert, and after that chance meeting had decided to visit old friends together. I was disturbed, but I believed him, and I let it drop.
So the years rolled by. My husband continued to go to LA and stay with his adult children, but he never mentioned seeing his ex-wife. I felt uncomfortable because now, when she was around, my husband was cold and distant with me and overly involved with her.
Then, almost one year ago, I discovered that my husband and his ex-wife had been secretly corresponding since her initial visit to us. They had actually arranged that supposedly chance encounter at a concert, going behind my back because they knew I would be threatened by the idea of their seeing each other.
When I discovered that correspondence, I felt as if a knife had been thrust through my heart. When I confronted my husband with the secret correspondence, he spent the next seven months justifying what he had done and saying I was being unfair to his ex-wife. Sometimes he insisted that he had a right to have a relationship with her as he did with other old friends.
Sometimes he even claimed that he wanted to create a friendship among the three of us. When I finally got him to see a therapist with me, he initially spent each session splitting hairs over terminology rather than trying to make our marriage better. After months, our therapist helped my husband see that his ex-wife had not been a friend to me, and that actually she had been competing with me—not only with my husband, but also with his children, siblings, and friends. This is not to say that she is a bad person.
I still sincerely believe that she is a very fine person. But when it comes to my husband, she has unresolved issues, along with the attraction that all-too-often arises when old lovers are reunited. Then my husband started to take responsibility for what he had done and to explore why he had done it. He admitted that although he had never wanted to leave me, he wanted to have both his ex-wife and me, an arrangement to which he knew I would never agree.
Eventually my husband decided to re-commit to our marriage. He wrote his ex-wife a break-up email saying that they should go back to being ex-spouses. He made an effort to repair the situation with his children and extended family although my relationship with my stepchildren, whom I love dearly, remains complicated.
In most affairs, a straying spouse can, if he wishes, make a complete, clean break with the affair partner, as the books advise must happen if the marriage is to heal. She is the mother of his children, my stepchildren. She is the woman with whom he shared his glamorous and exciting youth. Neither my husband nor I can ever just forget about her, no matter how much we might like to. She is part of our lives forever. We must recreate our love and our life with this shadow hanging over us.
The truth of the matter the person making him unhappy is not you but himself. He thinks the other woman will make him happy because it is right now. Take care and hang in there.
I have been married 26 years.. My husband had an affair 17 years ago. He regretted it and we worked through it. He recently has been having another affair with someone who worked for him. She has worked there a year now, but supposedly the sexual part of the affair has only been going on 2 months. He agreed to go to counseling and try; however, in hindsight, I feel he only went to counseling to appease me and perhaps make things look better, so he could say he tried.
I think he was afraid she gave up and got scared. He lost his position because of the affair; however, they did offer him a demotion in another city. To me, having a best friend for a spouse, is an excellent foundation for a marriage, and in my opinion, everything else can be fixed. Every time they have sex, I feel him pull further away from me and closer to her.
Why would someone want to give up their best friend? If you never learn of the affair until she tells you she is leavings because she met someone and is in love how can you get therapy or counseling when she has NO DESIRE to talk? Oh thank you so much. You are right and I am in the process of moving on. I have strength that I did not know I had. I have not cried other than to kick myself. You are right he is the issue not me. He has had problems all of his life I felt sorry for him helped him make changes for the better.
I thought he was reaping all the rewards but in this case it is his loss. I just have a problem with him not communicating with me. I am not interested in discussions about us. I have cancelled all the cards accounts everything but car and phone and he wont sign the papers. If he wants this break why does he not just sign it an let me go my own way.
Thank you for the very nice comments I am beautiful I am strong I have 4 beautiful children who love me. My family is distant but my friends are plentiful. I could use the hugs and kisses. When I look around at all the wonderful things in my life I do smile. I just want it all to be done. You have been a wonderful help I needed someone to talk to. I am so glad I found this website for support. It does not matter how intellectual or high up he is — he is still a dog. Do not even try to analyse him.
Cut your losses, this is not about you. The best revenge you can have is to get on with your life and believe me this is the difficult part, which you have to do, and let him guess and try to figure out what you are up to. It is a age old rule but as long as A is chasing B — B will run. Once A stops chasing B — B stops and wonders why?. You need to find your own worth, realise how worthy you are, only then will you get angry and anger will move you on to the next level.
The level where you say I am worth so much more- I nolonger will tolerate this kind of emotional abuse and then you will move on. Please do not demean yourself to beg this man for explanations, he is not worthy of you. I know this all sounds so harsh, but what has been done to you is harsh and so very painful.
Part of the process is looking back and searching for answers, especially when you thought everything was so good and promising. But try not to dwell to long on this, this thinking is depressing and keeps you in the past. What I am saying is, He has to do the work, come and explain to you why, what, where. He might, he might not, but in the meantime do what you must do to cope and heal — staying away from him and being strong is what is required now.
Wish I could help you. Big Hug and Kisses, remember you are Beautiful, God does not make rubbish, do not let anyone treat you this way. Always here for you. Oh thank you I needed this so much. I did realize what I was doing I was an enabler. The things that are confusing is things were great fine OK I was moving in within a month he and I were picking out furniture you know settling in. He was completely involved in the planning.
He should have common sense about how to treat people. His family is devastated and are somewhat angry at him. I have stayed out of it. I just want what is mine and get on with my life.
WHy is he not responding to me? They thought of him as a father figure and cared deeply. It is just nice to have someone to talk to. My dear sweetheart, can you see that you have allowed yourself to be treated this way. You gave up who you are and your needs and scrificed yourself for this man. You may not see this yet, but you gave this man premission to treat you this way by self-sacrificing the way you have.
This is ofcourse if you decide to walk away from this relationship. If you go back and the chances are that he will want the comforts you provide without any comittment from his side he will most likely treat you just as badly and leave again. You say you are attractive and sexy — believe in yourself, give yourself the opportunity to find equal love. I would kick this man in the butt and hope the door kicks him in the head as he leaves.
Hi everyone I came here as this looks like a great place for some emotional support. I am the next on the list. I spent 11 years in a relationship with a man 14 years my senior. He is now 65 I am We have both been divorced twice and of course thought we were soul mates. I did not live with him but spent every free moment that I was not working or taking care of my children who are almost all adults.
I have a 17 year old daughter she is the only one left at home. As of last week we were moving in with him in June. I always had planned to wait until my daughter was in college but he kept pushing.
I was the one who was skeptical. Catholic background yada yada yada. ANyway my partner and my daughter had been forming a really good bond so we thought we would move in this June and just get it done.
Cooking cleaning, paperwork, expenses, etc. The only thing I did not do was take care of the bills. That was his department. A day never went by where he did not have home cooked food in the refrigerator clean clothes travel plans made. I think you get the picture. Remember too we did not live together. He lives about 15 miles away by freeway. Anyway last week he texted me I love you, Miss you the whole nine yards.
He was not really great with intimacy but he did say I love you when we hung up or left each other. He has been around the block a few times he is 65 and looks it. I am 52 and people saY i am pretty and I am definitely not overweight. If anything I am underweight. He had trouble with intimacy because he has payrones disease which is scar tissue on the penis and it makes the penis curl. I never worried about it because I loved him enough to find other ways for us to be close.
I told him eye to eye that I never wanted him to ever feel as if he were less of a man because of this he was perfect to me. TImes went on most good and some challenges.
We seemed to work through them although he had a sense of entitlement that when I would bring something to his attention and he did not want to deal with it he would just look at you with a stare. He did NOT like to discuss my feelings at all. He discussed his all the time. As I said I am a good listener so he talked I listened.
We had made a life and even though we lived separate we were a married couple. His words not mine. We were both afraid of a 3rd marriage so that was not really an issue. We could talk when we were living together.
I would run to his house after work cook, clean do the laundry and sit by his side watching TV while he finished a couple of bottles of wine. I think I stayed sober because I needed to drive. In i had a very rare heart attack. He was my doctor for most but he is ER not cardiology. He told me when this happened that he almost lost the most important person in his life.
He said it scared him to death. I loved hearing that but now not sure I should have believed it. I have limitations but I popped back up well.
I am disabled so working any longer is not an option. This was OK with me as I had wished for the time when I could stay home and just be a house wife and mom. I could not wait to stay home and take care of everybody. This is me… I am a caretaker. The last month has been challenging with finances and time. He works three positions in medicine and he is not home often.
I still waited and continued to take care of business. I noticed some strange behavior but he was so stressed I just tried to ease his frustrations and tell him he was sexy and I loved him with hopes he would feel better. Last Tues he said he was not ok and wanted space. Today he is out and about with his new someone.
No discussion no nothing. I did not cry though so I am wondering what that means. I feel pretty ok but sad times happen and I disappear to my room. Help me try to understand this. Sorry if you read this on the other page I did not know there was a separate page for this specific topic. What I have read you make each other feel so good. THis is a time that I could use some of that.
No one to turn to. The article really sums it up quite well. So I found out after years 24 of marriage, my sons were right. How about that …they knew before I did. I have made a lot of sacrifices in our relationship. She even said she was inlove with him.
Her husband of25 years died last year. So my boys want him to leave. He is home so much, but he did admit he cheated. Is he just scared that I will divorce him, or does he really want out? I think it may be an exit affair, but he may not see it for that yet. Hi, 79, 76 and 78 replying back.
I really wanted it to work out, but now realize I could never, ever trust him again. He is definitely not the same person. No nibbles on the house yet but people have been coming through.
You are doing great and it is nice to hear you are moving on. Rocky road ahead at times but all worthwile to find yourself again. Good luck with the sale of your house! Thanks for the kind words. I have made the decision to move on. My final straw was him spending a romantic weekend away with the OW just a few weeks after telling me he wanted to reconcile with me. It also appears he has quit going to his therapist after just a few visits and is making absolutely no move to make anything work between us.
More stress on me but if I get lucky and the place sells quickly and I can move, I might actually have a nice summer, unlike last year. On the plus side, I reconnected with a very good friend of mine from h.
It has been so nice to be treated well and with respect and him not looking for anything in return. I hope you are doing fine.
I am not a counsellor by any strech of the imagination but here is my 2 cents…filing for divorce does not need to end in divorce. It will just provide you with a little more power than you allow yourself to have at the moment and allow you to start moving on in your life with or without him.
You ask the question backwards: It is not about him, it is about YOU. You need to think about yourself, work on yourself, make yourself happy and your priority 1. If you feel ready to contact and attorney, then you probably ARE ready to move on. Like I said earlier, filing does not have to end in divorce but gives you options. Sadly, I am going through the same thing that nearly everyone else who has written is going through. I discovered 8 months ago that my husband of 26 yrs.
And like so many others, I never dreamed he would be capable of doing this to me. He moved out and in with her immediately but has not pursued divorce. She is still married, too.
I asked him several times to go to joint marriage counseling with me but he would not. I was diagnosed with cancer am fine now shortly after he left and, outside of wonderful support from close family and friends, had to go through the ordeal myself. He finally started his own counseling recently but I am ready to contact the attorney and get moving on the divorce.
Any advice on how much longer I should give him? Spare yourself the trouble and place a call in the middle of the night not her cell phone, to the hotel desk if you want but the last thing your children need if you gong away for some reason and coming back disfunctional. I would say focus, focus, focus on your children to tell you the truth. At the airport, at the hotel, wherever.
And then there would be a big dramatic music, close ups on teary eyes…but life is not a movie. More than anything else, it would just end up with me feeling humiliated and probably losing it , the other woman victoriously looking at a pathetic me after all, SHE still gets to go on that vacation and I get to go…home.
Spare yourself the humiliation. Decide if you want to confront her. But concentrate on you and your children. They are the most important people in all this. Should i go to the hotel and wait for her and make sure she sees me and then make my way home to the children.
Yep, I got screwed around too. In a million years thought he would do that me let alone when I just had his baby. They are still with each other two years later but he looks miserable. I divorced and moved on and praying I find someone nice soon. It took ages to get over. I just found out 24 hours ago that my wife of 4 years and who i have been with for nine year had a affiar with a man.
It went on for a little over three months and supposidly they only slept with each other three times. The worst thing for me is that she brought him to my house and tryed to make us buddy buddy like. Not only that but he was engaged to another girl who my wife was really good freinds with. Which is how she meet him. The engament relationship was a open one meaning that they could sleep with others and it was ok.
Come to find out that my wife freind was there when the had the affiar. Mean while the whole time he was talking about me and my wife and the three of them where in the same room with me.
I feel so stupid for not knowing they were talking about me. I want to run and hide but at the same time i want to make the marriage work. I have no idea what to do.
She tells me that she wants to make the marriage work as well and that she has cut all communication with the person but she still works with her friend. Luckly we have no kids so i dont need to worry about that. I just need guidence and i just need to.
I am all over the place mentally right now which is why this post is everywhere. I dont even now how to end what i am saying so i am just going to stop. Any advice would be great. I just discovered that my husband of 7 years has been cheating on me with multiple women at the same time since day 1 well, month 2 as far as my digging has brought up.
We know each other since 9 years so maybe it is an older problem. What got my attention is immaterial here as is how I discovered what was going on behind my back for all these years I am the bread winner so I am gone all day and focussing on…well…work and [paying the bills.
It was like being hit by a bus. And then, to my surprise, I realized that I had lost instantaneously all my love for this man. It is like someone has turned off the light switch. He grosses me out, the idea of him touching me is repulsive, I cannot stand his scent. I was in love with my husband, even after 7 years, just like when we were dating. He knew I loved him deeply that he cared is another issue.
I never thought I would feel like this. I have not confronted him with my discovery and I do not think I will until I am prepared and have all my ducks in a row or at all since I have no intention of 1 saving a marriage based on lies and 2 humiliate myself once more while he bullshits his way out of the situation with whatever reason he is going to invent. In the span of a week I have become a cold calculating machine, I want my share of the house I have put ALL the capital in it, I will not leave it to any of these women.
So I cannot take rash decisions. When I am ready, I will kick him out and divorce. It is not like he is on the street anyway, he has a choice of 3 addresses at the moment as far as I know — the problem is that he will have to choose between Australia, Germany, and Italy.
Hopefully one of these ladies will pay for the airline ticket. Then there is always his mother. Two of these OW do not know I am still the wife and living in the same house. He told one that I had abandonned the family and left him with the children to pursue my career, to the other that we had divorced 1 year into the marriage because of the kids, and to the third one the ex-girlfriend… that I know he loves her more than me and that I accept the situation. Of course since she declined when he proposed, she gets the best of both worlds: All the lies that he told about me are very hurtful but I have to say that reading through pages and pages of emails has been very therapeutic and has prevented me from falling into the trap of delusion thinking that after all he his a good man, a good father, that he loves me, that I am the wife, bla bla bla.
He is not a good man, he is not a good husband, he is not a good father, that I am his wife does not mean anything and obviously for him the vows we took 7 years ago were just…a suggestion. I realize I may have been in a marriage of convenience I had work, he did not, and none of these OW work and according to the emails they all are waiting for him to become rich and save them — if they only knew.
So I am now just waiting for the correct time to come. I am taking care of myself, being hit by a bus jump started the weight loss and I go walk every morning to meditate. I just never imagined that I could fall out of love so quickly.
He does not know it yet, but he has just lost me. I cannot wait for the day when I will wish him well with these other women and send him on his way. I deserve much more than what he will ever be able to offer. I was married for 7 years and caught my husband at a hotel with one of his co-workers. We divorced and he married his co-worker. That was 13 years ago.
I waited and God sent along the man of my dreams, we have been married for almost 10 years. We have a marriage that has been blessed by God, it has not been perfect, but we love and respect one another and we are doing well. My ex, well not so much. This is the life he chose, may he cherish every moment of that bad decision. To 67 above in answer to a host of your questions: This may not be right for you but it was for me—I will caution you that its taken me a year and a half since the divorce to start really believing my decision was the right decision but believe me when I say it—I feel good these days.
I too just joined the club of a cheating husband. He keeps telling me he made a mistake, wrong, he made a choice. He knew exactly what he was doing. It was a 1 year long choice. This affair was discovered just a few days ago. How will i ever be able to have a sexual relationship again with him? No one here has addressed that yet, and am wondering how does one stop seeing them holding, hugging, kissing,and have sex together and move on together?
How does one unconditionally ever love that person again? You can only take care of your own needs and those of your children. Why not cut your loses? So you put in years loving them, so what? Let the other person deal with this loser. Women especially, should love themselves more, spend the energy to become stronger and smarter. Live life without too much regrets.
Let your family and friends help you. Give your love to someone who is truly worthy. Life is too precious. Now, the equation is much different—the actual reward of the affair in minor compared to the cost that followed the risk. The equation changed on you. Think of it as buying a stock in a company that you KNOW is going to pay off and make you wealthy.
Everything you have is riding on this. Now the unthinkable happens—its not a sure thing, in fact its a bad thing and the company goes under. I have been an unfaithful husband. I feel ashamed and dishonest. I have been married for 13 years. My wife is my best friend. I am not sure what I am supposed to do now. I cant stand to look at her and see the pain in her eyes. She is an amazing person and I really hope that we can work things out.
I am not sure where to go from here. We are talking about counseling. If I only knew how this felt it would not have happened. Same old story… apparently happy family, married for ten years, two wonderful kids, great social and extended family network… and my husband has been having an affair for about a year.
HELP ive just found out my partner of 3 years is having an affair with a girl 13 years younger than me, which under normal circumstances i guess i could handle it but im seven months pregnant with my partners 1st child. I never intended to have any more children as my son is now 14 and i was focusing on my career, but my partner is seven years younger than me and begged me to have his child. He promised me the world and asked me to marry him so i agreed to have his baby to complete our love for each other.
He then goes and does this to me and im broken, i havnt slept for days and days and cant eat properly im so scared for the well being of my unborn child but i cant help it, everytime i close my eyes everything starts to whizz round in my head and every time i put food to my face i start wretching.. Will i be able to survive this hurt and pain im feeling and how long will it last for because i am sooooooo scared, its so unfair and i really dont know why he done it.
Ive asked him why but he wont talk to me he tells me he loves me but i know he loves her more. Can someone please tell me what i should do next? I just got caught and was confronted by my spouse of me cheating I admited to everything and excepted that I was wrong. I had an affair for 5 months and I regret it everyday I lost my family my spouse of 4 years and my daughter on 2 years, I hope one day my spouse forgives me and gives me a chance.
I am attending counseling and anger management to better myself. Its both saddening and a relief to hear I am not alone and so many of these read as though they came from the same script in terms of what was done, how it was done, and what the cheating spouse said.
It gets less into the why it happened and pretty accurately discusses the architecture of an emotional affair— in my case down to the actual things my cheating wife said. I am sad that it ended the way it did and I will confess I moved very quickly—I went from finding out for sure about the affair to divorced in 20 days. I was hurt beyond belief, sad, numb, in shock, and angry with her but I offered her the chance to delay the divorce for 30 days on the condition that she cease all contact with the guy.
She chose not to. We have 3 kids and the two older ones know what their mother did and with whom—he was a family acquaintance and was married at the time too. After I busted them he confessed to his wife and their divorce moved at pretty much the same pace as mine. My ex and her affair partner are still together trying to combine my kids with his for a great big happy family only my 2 oldest want no part of it or him.
It was a marriage that endured the stresses of 3 kids, building businesses, and life. I always used the analogy that we were together in a tank and crossing a battlefield.
Now 15 months later life is so much better. I am at the point that I am seeing where there are better fitting people for me out there than my ex. I am happy with myself and have spent time looking back at myself and what I did wrong in my marriage.
I did plenty wrong but so did she. I just chose not to fix it through an affair—I talked to her. Moral of the story is that like everyone tells you—it will get better. Someday you will meet someone that will bring to you overwhelming happiness and joy like you have never known before. You will survive and if you choose to you will thrive. I knew my husband had an affair a year ago. He supposedly ended it and things have been absolutely great. This morning I discovered that it never ended.
I am physiccally sick and scared. Have no clue as to what my next step will be. I earn good money yet he has kept my money from me for over ayear. I thought we were just poor. God how could I be so stupid?? I have been married for 17 years. Five years ago, I found out my then 38 year-old husband was having an affair with his 22 year old secretary.
It killed me; it felt like a knife through my heart. I had what I considered the perfect marriage and the perfect husband. It was truly a shock. He swore that he ended it and that he wanted to work on our marriage. We went to counselling but the affair continued for another 7 months, when I finally filed for divorce. I guess that was a wake up call for him because he broke off the affair and focussed on our marriage.
We did counselling, went to work-shops, and read books; we analyzed every aspect of our marriage and truly felt we had a handle on why the affair happened. I also examined how I might have contributed to the situation and consentrated on being the best partner I knew how. The next five years, were great. I felt that the marriage was stronger and better than ever a lot due to what we both learned about ourselves from the affair.
But four years later, it happened again. This time the pain was not as deep. He once again wants our marraige to work and is very sorry. He swears it will not happen again. I love my husband but I love me more. I realized that this is not a marriage problem but a problem with my husband. He has some insecurities and self esteem issues that only he can fix.
It has been a rude awakening but I am at peace. Our divorce is almost final and I am moving on with my life. My favorite saying is by Dr. My main focus now is to help my three kids get through this. Just read all the posts on here. It seems like A LOT of people are holding onto the past and hoping their spouse will change their ways.
So many of these posts need the reply: Move on, get a divorce, or at least a separation. Get therapy for yourself and realize that maybe your marriage is not worth saving. Geez 52, our wife is a massage therapist, that job alone is difficult for some partners to deal with, requires the utmost professionalism.
If she is still giving him massages, that is physical contact! Ever heard of happy endings? Anybody who does not come fully clean when the affair is exposed more than likely never will. Do you want to have a marriage still based on lies? How can you trust anybody who lied and screwed around, then when confronted with facts still lies? People, wake up, get out of these messed up marriages. Break from from the skanky spouse.
For those of you in affairs and reading this to learn about your anguish and trust issues in your affair partner, know this, it will only deepen and get worse. You may be lucky and end up in a nice relationship eventually, but the odds are stacked so highly against you that taking a break from the affair is the best thing you could do for yourselves.
You can also try again later, but stop now. Seek some help, even if confidentially at first. Maybe your marriage is doomed. Figure it out, be honest with yourself, then your spouse, then your affair partner. Decide what is best for your happiness.
A miserable marriage is not worth fighting for. Get some self-esteem, stop begging the cheating spouse to return without serious work! I always, always thought love was black and white — if he truly, truly loved you he would never ever do anything to hurt you. What I was blinded to was that situations can change, more often beyond our control. Human beings are creatures of a constant state of flux — we are not a log of wood that is always a log of wood, or a lump of rock that is always a lump of rock.
Some of us are stronger than others — unfortuantely, my fiance of 8 years was weaker than me. He became a man I never thought I would be in a relationship with — someone who snuck around behind my back for years, lying and cheating and having occasional sex. The only redeeming factor I have is that none of his texts to the main women were ever sexual in the slightest.
But, looking back, there were weaknesses in our relationship. I was just too naive to think he could stay faithful. And ourselves, of course. Love is what eventually everyone tends to look and love for;e but if you are not happy, if yo uknow you can never be happy with that person, if happiness comes with being around others, being on your own ultimately, and living for other people, then be on your own.
Even if that path is the harder one financially, leave. At the end of your days, do you really want to look back on your life and realise you lived it in unhappiness? Do you really want to realise you had no respect for yourself, nor the courage after a time to live under your own power and love? Have faith — no matter what you decide, yo ujust have to belive it is absolutely the right decision you could have made, were you to look back on your life. My husband cheated on me in ,the affair started in i think ,now we have been married 9 and a half yrs, at that time it was about 7 years, i know how exactly it feels.
Two years ago I found out my wife of 32 years was having an affair. We decided to try to make our marraige work. She said she would no longer have any contact with him. Over the past year and a half they continued seeing each other. On a few occasions she received calls from him while we were together. During the affair they contacted each other times a day via cell phone records and for hours at a time instant messaging.
At least now it has reduced to no IM and a few calls a week. For that year and a half I continually tried to explain to her how hurtful it was to me to know that they were still in contact. My wife is a massage therapist and continues to give him massages.
While the cell phone calls terminated I am aware that they now contact each other via her office phone. While I do not believe a physical relationship is taking place any longer it still tears me up to know they are still in contact.
Oh God I understand how you feel. If you go after her life, it will come back to haunt you. You may feel better in the here and now, but later on, there may be consequences. I wanted her children and family to all know what was going on, but I waited.
She has now lost her business, all of her family and friends, she has filed bankruptcy and is just about to lose her house too. She tried really hard to take my husband, my life, and my home…what she got in return was karma. Go out and enjoy yourself with your children, family and friends. My H has lost everything too…including the respect of our community. Take care of yourself, and the rest will eventually fall into place. My husband of 23 years has just admitted he has had an affair with his early college fiancee.
I found this out in late July. They met up at a class reunion I was out of town on business , and they started hot and heavy. Little did I know they were going all over the Metroplex flaunting their relationship. I discovered it through cell phone bills. I confronted him, and he denied them having a sexual relationship.
I am told I am being suspicious and no way. I found 3 of them. I am just devasted. I am physically ill. My cheeks are chapped from crying. My marriage is over. I am so sad. I still love my husband, but he has killed any trust in our marriage. I am aware he knows nothing. Gee 48 There is blame with everyone.
Does that still make it right to have an affair? Adultery is wrong under ANY circumstance. Gee 40, wish everyone was perfect like you. I mean, it might make you feel good to do so, but it is misplaced.
The person having the affair is to blame as well. Additionally, and more unpopular, the spouse of the person having the affair shares some blame as well. As often happens the spouse is distant or unavailable; as a result the conditions are ripe for an affair. People need an emotional and physical connection with someone else, spouse or otherwise.
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Imsges: dating affair partner after divorce
I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do.
Is the lover someone you know?
Energy Attracted to power - Millions of Brits have spent longer with their energy provider than their significant other. Join us today and realize your dreams come through. I asked him for dating affair partner after divorce and he started the remedies for my health. Is he just scared that I will divorce him, or does he really want out? Life without him was a real mess dating affair partner after divorce me, i wanted a dramatic change, After discussing the resolution with Manifest Spellhe gave me hope that he will restore my relationship. I wanted him abilene dating be the one to tell to say to me that he loved me and has always did.
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