The Shocking Truth About Dating in Japan as a Foreigner

I'm an Asian Woman and I Refuse to Ever Date an Asian Man

dating a japanese american girl

We have so many different walks of life here in America. But as long as men tell me over dinner, "I've always wanted to be with an Asian girl" and then still think they're getting laid, and as long as during beauty countdowns white girls are called "beauties" and Asian girls are called "exotic beauties" -- well, then white will still be the societal standard. While it may be nice to get some girls at the bar, I think western men must find it hard to find a Japanese woman that they would actually want to have a long-term relationship with unless all they cared about was having a chick that looks hot.

How To Date Asian American Women

Konnichiwa, My name is Johnny. My girl friend biggest worry was that sex will be bad because of the size. In contrast, western women have to put in a ton of effort just to get a guy to respond back to a text message. And with that, you're in. Western woman with a Japanese boyfriend.

You probably know by now that having an Asian girlfriend is a rite of passage for all white men. Of course, dating an Asian girl is very different from dating your typical Nancy or Betty. Finding an Asian Asian girls typically hang out at one of three places: When you get there, look around: When you approach her, ask for the time. As she takes out her phone to tell you, you should make a nice comment about her phone flair Asian girls always have some bedazzled jank hanging off our phones, usually a cartoon duck or a jade tiger.

And with that, you're in. Asian girls will go on a date with anyone if she can tell a cutesy story about it later: The First Date It doesn't matter where you take an Asian girl on a first date as long as you stick to the following topics of conversation: They are so bad! Unlike girls from a lot of other countries the US especially , these girls at least look like they put some effort into what they look like.

Or that foreign men often neglect their appearance. A pair of heels and a push-up bra and a woman goes from a five to an eight.

A good make-up job, some permed hair, and a set of contacts, and boom, perfect ten. Interestingly enough, I recently attended an event where they did this as a competition. Six very plain girls went up on stage, and in fifteen minutes, a team of stylists applied make-up, hair extensions, and contacts, and the women went from ordinary to amazing, right before your eyes.

The teams in this competition do this for a living. Every day before work, hostesses come in to their salons, and leave 15 minutes later, looking amazing, ready for work. So instead, they spend hours at home getting ready.

Or wear surgical masks when they just need to run out to the grocery store. I grew up in Tokyo. As far as I know the girls are interesting in foreigners. Most of us are highly educated but yes I agree we are not encouraged learning communication skills as good as Americans or westerners so sometimes when we are nervous we cannot convey our feeling well as youguys.

There were times I was not good in English nor communication but the Americans and Westerners I met accept me as me and treat me with respect. I myself have been with mostly American guys. I had enjoyed the relationships and I really happy with my current boyfriend who is also American.

I just want to comment on one thing: Homely Japanese Ladies What I found interesting is that all the married Japanese women married to a foreigner were homely indeed. Younger couples who just started going out seem to consist more often of a foreign guy with a dressed-up Japanese woman. I guess once the guy has seen his girlfriend without make-up, he can decide if he wants to run away screaming or if he wants to continue the relationship.

Just like the link Ken posted shows, some people completely change with tons of make-up, fake lashes, wigs, extensions and whatnot. I think the guy is a loser. I have met many interesting and very nice Japanese ladies.

Like all women around the world they want a MAN. Stop being a wooz. And AS to love etc. Sorry if that worked not a majority of American marriages would end in divorce.

Do many women in Japan use contacts that change the size and color of their Irises? That was some pretty amazing transformations on that site you linked. The question is, Are they wearing them to correct their vision, or just to make themselves more attractive? Glasses are also quite in fashion these days, and a number of women and men wear them.

I wonder if people in other countries do that too? There are contact lenses that will improve your sight and have a special effect make your eyes bigger, different color etc. The trend seem ed to be popular outside of Japan as well. Well, I knew that people could look very different with make-up and effects pieces on their faces, but it always surprises me when I see such a huge variance between the before and after pics like on that web site Ken referenced.

So many of them are natural beauties. But wigs, fake lashes, contacts, even surgery etc. After school and on the weekends, many of them are quite elaborately made-up, and wear their skirts about six inches higher. But ask yourself this, is it okay to apply a positive stereotype to a group of people without being racist?

I think this guy has actually hit the nail on the head really well. She was quite pretty, a nurse, 28 years old. Nothing about me, how interesting I was, how much she liked me or anything, so essentially her reason for choosing me was: She did have a kind of valid reason for wanting a foreigner though, something about making her world view wider or something, at least something that showed some genuine interest in that particular opportunity. Funny reading, I recommend it!

I recently started dating a japanese girl here in the states. She has been here about 10 years and is 9 years older than me Im 31 btw. Things couldnt be more amazing than they are. She is divorced and has a 10 year old but she is awesome and doesnt care I dont make a ton of money.

She has been very good at teaching me japanese and I have been helping her son with reading and spelling. Maybe I got a rare one? Anyways good luck to anyone seeking these foreign beauties, my gf gets prettier everyday!! Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

Also, take this article with a whole bucket of salt. You may also like. D Yes, definitely check it out. Jasmine, I mean Ken, I laughed way too much reading this and had to wipe the tears from my eyes several times. Hi Ken and Jasmine , While I do agree with some of the points you make especially the one about generalizations; good comparison , let me go through some of the ideas you wrote there: Then you go on to describe how miserable Jeff, Ray and the rest of your pals are.

But then again, they got it coming. So I stand by that statement. Yo Ken, Do many women in Japan use contacts that change the size and color of their Irises? The complete opposite is the case for Western foreign women in Japan. As a result it is extremely tough to find a date as a foreign woman here in Japan. Some of us will go through a hard time here in Japan. It might be a different story in bigger cities such as Tokyo and Osaka with a more international community, but in smaller cities and in the countryside with more traditional ideals it can be very difficult for foreign women.

I personally know a few couples where either the man or the woman is foreign and I noticed quite a lot of differences in the kind of relationship they have. Please note that the following is based on my personal experience and that not everybody out there is like that. In relationships where the man is foreign I noticed that they mostly speak his native language. One big problem seems to be the fact that in Japan the man earns the money , but the woman takes care of it!

The man only gets a small allowance every week or month and needs to ask his wife for permission if he wants to spend any more of his own hard-earned money! Foreign guys often seem to struggle with this system. I noticed that those kind of relationships seem to work out better if they live in his home country and not in Japan. She has studied Japanese properly or puts in a lot of effort to improve her Japanese ability even if the Japanese man can speak her native tongue.

The man seems to accept that she wants to keep working even after marriage. All the couples I know of have a relatively harmonic relationship. Of course, there are enough reasons for disputes, but all in all they seem to manage better than couples where the man is foreign. All I want you to keep in mind is that as a guy you should not let it get to your head because suddenly you get all this attention from beautiful women. And as a foreign girl you should keep in mind that your time in Japan — at least in terms of romantic relationships — could be quite lonely at times.

As you said, everyone has their own experience, and from a language perspective, I find it interesting that, while it is my case we speak French at home, as we ended up moving here well before I knew anything about the Japanese language , every other bi-national couple that I know in town speak Japanese at home, regardless of who is the foreigner in the couple.

She can manage a budget, I suck at it, it makes sense that she do it. A very interesting point. Maybe you can also write a blog about the differences in behaviour of Japanese and western men? For us women who are interested in dating a Japanese man, to avoid any troubles.

I believe that Japanese men are more polite and serious than western men, at least, the Dutch ones I dated: Thank you very much. The universal trait is that guys are quite interested in that aspect of relationships. There are so many taller guys out there as well. I needed one pretty bad. On arrival found out all the women working there were Chinese.

Her massage was really great…. I do massage for family and friends, and when I got a massage that is crap, it is quite frustrating. Out of the blue she said that the guys in the US were bigger than the Chinese guys. It seemed to me she had done a lot of massages and seen a lot of Chinese and US guys. You are so right! I remember your blog from a few years ago. I used to read it a lot, but then just lost sight of it!

Thinking back, I think you might be onto something with foreign women having an interest in language and culture and that being a requisite for a relationship with Japanese guys.

Mind, most of my acquaintances and friends that got married to a Japanese party have studied Japanese studies, so there you go. But more women got married to Japanese men than men married to Japanese women, hmm…. Most of that is in the lewd category though, i. Dating in any culture is interesting but then to thrown in cross-cultural dating with all the hidden agendas is a complicated load to deal with.

What seems to be missing is a true connection and intimacy. So I guess the lesson is not to settle in life. By the way, I enjoy reading your insightful postings. At least I hope the humor is intentional. I look forward to reading more!

Talking about relationships, no matter if cross-cultural or not, is always complicated as each is very unique and has its own story. So the mistakes are not intentional, but the humor is! Lots of foreign guys end up with really average and below average Japanese women after being in the bars every night of the week looking. Guys with skills will do better elsewhere. The men who stay all end up getting married, right?

The reality is, hooking up with Japanese chicks is a ton of work. Can you do it if you stay out late every night? But you can do that anywhere. What you said makes perfect sense to me.

If you are a western guy with decent social skills, you might do better elsewhere. Having said this, if you are willing to put effort into understanding the culture, nothing will stop you from dating Japanese girls. When I first came to Japan I thought the western men had it easy, too. Have flocks of women come to them without lifting a finger! In contrast, western women have to put in a ton of effort just to get a guy to respond back to a text message.

But then, after living in Japan and later China for a long time, I started to spend more time with your average Japanese woman at the office. I also started to see what kind of Japanese women my western-man-friends were typically dating. At first, I was jealous because Japanese women are nice, polite, absolutely adorable—basically, something I could not compete with.

I realized that like in most countries, probably finding a decent Japanese woman is hard.

Imsges: dating a japanese american girl

dating a japanese american girl

Too loud and crowded for my tastes. Someone who is not only cute, but honest and interesting and looking for companionship is especially hard to find in Japan. American guys never pay for you?

dating a japanese american girl

They would be someone special. I have traveled in Japan several times with a British company, InsideJapan Tours, and all the guides were British or Americans and fluent in Japanese [plus they read and wrote it]. Makes you want to shower her with time and attention ,take her places,because you KNOW that she is interested and not playing games!

dating a japanese american girl

Then the money troubles will start. Stay at work, socialise in bars, live in a capsule hotel, never ho home, problem solved… Sort of. From the sounds of it, Japanese people have a saner policy when it comes to honduran dating dates. I'd much rather be swept up into that beautiful land of racially ambiguous beauties. I have heard this as well but I really dating a japanese american girl dated one Japanese woman before, my ex wife, so I dont really know. Hold the doors open for girls?