MEN: will they always love their "baby mama"?
We only contact through a talking portal online, where everything is recorded for the judge. The dating game is hard. I don't even know what to do about it anymore. She said, "He'll marry him a quiet girl who doesn't give him problems. I found this post as I was looking to try and understand why my ex baby daddy was texting me that he wanted to get back together when he's in a relationship and to my knowledge has been in a relationship with the girl he cheatred on me with.
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A Small Help From Hell I even take care of the 2 kids she had wit my alleged friend! Point is she says I will always be first on the list and she says she isn't dating this dude but their intimate and he cares for her. Working against negative energies and allowing divine energies to do their work. Vhhbh Send a private message. Just because that's the kind of person he is. I get along with her to show my son the right way to treat females.
He claimed I stopped his life when I had a daughter so is this is way of getting his life back? I know for sure once he gets a girlfriend he won't spend as much time with his daughter because even if he wants her over he tells me to come too because I watch her while he play video games. But maybe that might change since he wants to be civil he wants to be happy. We don't have a bad relationship we are great together makes me thinks something is wrong with me he doesn't want to be with me.
You are a sucker and are setting a bad example for your little girl. When she gets older she'll catch on how he treats you and think that's the way things are supposed to be. He's using you and you are weak. I'm assuming you don't need him around financially. I am a sucker , I won't disagree with you.
I don't need him financially. I don't need anything from him but him. I will never let my daughter go through that I went through ever. My mom never did that with me nor did she talk to me about sex or relationships.
It hard to let him go I'm just trying to let him be, he says I'm to blame for why nobody wants to be with him , they get tired of me trying to be with him or whatever but he does things to make me think let's do this. He doesn't have a job at the moment. Sleeps all day except when he watches our daughter when I go to college. Always asking me when Ima be home cause he's tired.
If I could take her to school with me I would but all the slots were full. Now he goes out at night with this girl and in his phone talking to 3 more.
You aren't doing anything other than wasting time. All that you wrote went in one ear and came out the next. Put your panties on and lay down the law. There's plenty of men out there who are looking for a good woman. Honestly, you just need to be single for a while, finish school, and work on yourself and your child. FYI, take him to child support as well and hold him accountable. You think he hates you now? You don't know the half once you take that step. What's funny he doesn't realize how good he has it.
No other girl would do the same with him. I don't make him pay child support or anything. The thing is I don't want his money and I know he needs to be held accountable but honestly if he doesn't want part of his daughter life he can go. He wants to stay in her life. He wants to run around , and be with multiple girls and imagine he gets one pregnant, they won't even hesitate to put him on childsupport. They are a couple guys in school and when they found out I had a daughter they said oh no , I am too young to be taking care of a child that ain't mine I said uh I wasn't even thinking that's far I thought we were friends and that's the end of that lol.
They like ages between I don't have the effort to try again atleast for now. And just let him be. He doesn't hate me we actually have a good relationship , and it's not because of our daughter it's just the way we are with each other even before we had her. Sometimes it makes me think something is wrong with me because you can do so much for someone and still they do you wrong.
I don't get it. I'm with them on that one as well. I have a kid but my kid is raised very well and very well behaved. Sounds messed up to say but I wouldn't date someone with a child. Anyway, you still need to throw his ass on CS and light a fire under him to get him motivated to do something. You say he wants to be in his kids life but constantly hounds you about when you will be back so he can be relieved of his daddy duties.
To this day I have my daughter more than her mother does. I placed myself on CS and aside from the support I provide her mother I do everything for my child.
I can't even imagine not having a job. Get your shit together and make him get his shit in order too. Easier said than done. He does what he wants and when we actually suggest him to do something he goes why is everyone forcing to change me or make me do something. I actually do applications for him just because I know he needs one. I don't know how he expects to get anywhere with anyone just being the way he is.
I can only help him so much. These girls he's messing with hate the fact that I'm around him , they don't even want to think about me and him even going out for our daughter. I'll remove myself because he already blames me he can't be with anyone because I'll always try with him. Honestly i praise you on that because you did it because you felt the need to for your daughter , and didn't like complain.
He would think I'm putting him on CS because I don't want to be with him. His ex said I had my daughter to force him to be with him when I told him if you want an out go before she's born and don't bother coming back when she's 3. Me idc if I have two work 2 jobs to support daughter. But yeah I love him deeply but maybe I'm just too much and was always there. So I'll just back off. I'm in this same situation. Been with my guy for two years and still never met his BM.
She knows all about me and I know all about her but we never met in person and when I tried to reach out to her myself she told my bf that I messaged her.. It shouldn't get to me the way it did but I always think there could possibly be something going on between them still. Yeah, something definitely is funny about that.
Crystal Send a private message. So here's my situation and question I need a mans perspective. My daughter father left about a year and a half ago. I of course love him and I can't help it. He was nasty to me for a while and wasn't in my daughters life besides paying money for four month until recently he started trying to do things as a family so once a week we all go out and do something.
The thing is I tell him I miss my family and him but he never responds back yet when we go out he pays for everything for both of us but we don't talk much, I will admit that I'm kinda scared to talk to him. I love him and deep down I have a feeling that maybe we will be together in the future. Why do u think he's doing this family thing all of a sudden. And is it normal to have a family day if technically we aren't a family?
Theodore Send a private message. Ditch him and get with me hopeseekr on FB. I'm a business man and I currently live abroad, but I'm looking for a woman who's as dedicated as you. Why don't you upgrade to a nice stable upper class life? Honestly, I would be interested as to why y'all haven't been able to meet one another. Does the child know you? If neither the child or mother of the child know you something is up!
Vcarr Send a private message. You have to know that you deserve better. Your raising a boy who will grow up to be a man and he needs to know and see how a REAL man handles his business.
You ever heard the saying" I know what I bring to the table, therefore I don't mind eating alone". We were engaged and everything, so surely I don't deserve that title. He cheated and got the girl knocked up. Now that's the baby momma. I tell him, "Either call me my name, M's momma, or just don't say shit at all. He won't until he's ready. I could tell you countless stories about this. We haven't been together in 3 yrs.
In fact, he just called me at 3 a. He's done something disrespectful to her. Just know that you are perfectly fine. He has some issues with him. ThatGirl Send a private message. Did u put him on child support? My sons father is I love him so much and fought for two years to make sure he was involved. When he is home he barley spends time with my son. And he doesnt help financially. I have had so many excuses for him mistreating me. But now im done taking it. Ive told him so many times i was okay with us not being together and just to be my sons father.
But he doesnt know his boundaries. And i always gave in because i love him. I recently filed for Child support because i feel he has no idea of what responsibility is. And i have tried so many times to just get some help from him in any way i didnt wanna do it, but i need real help. He lied about them knowing for over a year. Ive been drained in everyway trying with him. Am i wrong for doing this? And do you think it will ruin our chances of being together in the future?
Goldieblue Send a private message. That's what I'm afraid of I been with my dude for 9 years when I met him he had 3 kids all girls and When I was stuck in a different country for for a year he made a forth and too my luck it turned out to be a boy It's pretty fuckin annoying to b honest like I don't have nothing against the kid but my chest hurts everytime I see him granted he had a lot of kids I was looking forward to having his first son of anything!
But that's after his mom died and even though I even wiped her when she peed herself fed her slept on the floor with him for the whole 30 days in the hospital I caught a attitude cuz he yelled at me and I said some shit to the extent in the argument that I'd go get some bomb ass dick.
But i thought we where talking about when I was stuck in another country I just kinda brought it up cuz he blows me sometimes and I just wanna hurt him back.
Anyway he was hiding her they where going out to dinner together and the kids and I noticed the biggest diff when he was talking to her on a daily and he started doing way more then he ever did for them he ain't even do more for the other two he had with other ppl. Anyway i told him look I'm done here ur baby mama like really how u leave elegance and go back to the ratchet life? This the girl that swing a knife to his neck most I did was prly scream to the top of my lungs lol.
Anyway I was ready to walk I don't want that in my life or to be a second to no one. I asked him about it he said she told him she didn't wanna feel like a third wheel but damn bra how about me??? Anyway that shit ain't work out her ass was being all extra jealous and causing shit so we ain't do it again it seem like he back to me now that moms been gone for a year I think he's healing.
But he still talks to her and she be telling him her isssues and it bothers me like wtf y'all gonna b together or not I'm not just here to be here. He says he don't even know why he fucked her back then in the first place to b honest his do k assent really trynna get hard at the threesome with her he had to start with me lol. Umm anyway I want to move forward I'm 25 I want kids but I'm scared of where I stand with him sometimes I know but sometimes I'm not sure and I don't want to bring kids in a world without a solid household.
That's would crush me if I couldn't give them that. Sometimes I don't know like I don't think she looks better then me we look totally diff. But I just wanna know what's in his heart???? It drives me crazy cuz I don't wanna b the fool. Nicole Send a private message. I don't know why your treating her like she ain't shit she birth your child you should do nothing but get along with her for the sake of your child. Amba Send a private message.
He is soo right. You should know damn well better than that. Emmie81 Send a private message. I've been loyal to my husband! Despite me feeling unwanted by him and desperately wanting to feel like I'm sexy and desirable I have never strayed or left. I tell him all the time im hurting and he doesn't fix it..
Gps Send a private message. Don't let him play you! Claims I hit her one night in an arguement because I was barely ever allowed out of the house I didn't I tried to hold a door open and she accidentally got caught in between unless it was to her family events or friends or where she wanted to go, I spent months putting oyr daughter to bed fighting back tears because mummy was out again, a Year on and she's with him now and trys to blame me for "pushing her away" basically because I wasn't going to get involved with while this other guy was around Emotionally abusive, even how she fell pregant, she convinced me through duress to stop using protection, I tried to say I don't think it was a good idea because of her recent behaviour and I didn't want to bring a child into it she yelled "if you don't want to have a baby with me now I never want to have a baby with you!
I hit her while we were engaged, the guy she was engaged to when i met her yes we cheated too so maybe I got abit of karma honestly but she came after me and dragged me into this stupid belief i went for cheated on her, wonder what the next one will do rape her?! Honestly I knew in my gut but I ignored it and tried and tried and tried harder, wmtruely wish I didn't and that I had of left When you try and try to show respect and have it basically spat back at you with no remorse before during and after the relationship MacSamillion Send a private message.
George, dont chop any parts off. There are not enough good men as it is. Truth83 Send a private message. Just talk to him and try to get to the root of the issue with some kind of idea of the pressures of his day to day life. To try to sum up what could be a culmination of mixed emotions may be impossible but you have to build that bridge to get across. Remember, even the most complex issues have simple solutions if paced out accordingly. Evelyn Send a private message. What you did wrong was allow his behavior in the first place.
Naelamom Send a private message. Some may, other's will hate her. Depends on how the woman wields that absolute power she will have over them My wife's ex still likes her very much, respects her, speaks highly of her Then there are those guys that just hate, walk away and leave the woman on her own.
She should hate them, not the other way around. All sorts of dynamics at play here. She actively tried to make his life miserable and he just wanted to never see or speak to her again, so no I wouldn't say that all guys will always love their babymamas. He must have made a ton of money or you were paying for everything. I was definitely not paying lol,. If you treat a guy like hes a piece of shit hes going to act like one.
We have kids here people. It's not about how we feel about eachother. It's about the kids. Treat each other with respect. Alanahstar Send a private message. Please dont bash a real woman for what im about to write. What about the men that trap woman into getting pregnant so that she cant leave him? His plan is to impregnate her that way no other man will ever want her. I never loved my kids father never will i wanted out of the relationship because i realized he just wasnt the person i wanted to share my life or love with.
It made me enraged and ruined my fucking life. This son of a bitch could have came in the toilet or on the floor but didnt so I have to live with the biggest mistake i ever made i regret the day i ever met him and if i could take it all back i would. I wanted to get an education first, be in love and be married to the man of my dreams and make beautiful babies all the babies we want.
But hes not all to blame i take full responsibility for the desaster i made of my life. And no woman do not always love or care for the unwanted sperm donor. LivinnLaffin Send a private message. I do feel you on this situation. Because my now beautiful daughter was created in the same fashion. Now, same as you I take full responsibility, for my actions as well. But granted this me and him worked together. And let me tell you, before my time expired at the job he used to stalk me daily.
However, I became his friend, he was running game that him and girlfriend at the time was not getting along, and that he was sleeping on their couch. So, I would therefore encourage him about the situation. Be it though I was in a relationship myself at the time with my other two children father. Let not mention that bum honestly speaking. I said it bum to the max.
But anywho this guy was actually being an awesome gentle, but just wasn't for me. It was something about him as well that I could not put my finger on. So, on a night I went out to enjoy a close friend of mine birthday party, he called my phone wanting to come over, and bring me something Then one thing led to another, then here I am pregnant.
And miserable, angry, furious, and everything else. But to sum it all up. He admits to getting me pregnant on purpose, thinking we were going to be together.
Fast forward, this dude has a lot of issues, and he done had woman after woman since knowing him. Plus upon me getting pregnant, I was going to school myself, working towards my dream. I fell into a deep depression, for a long time. But now my daughter with him is soon to be seven years old. And he is present on and off in her life. As a woman who didn't want a child, yet you are sleeping with random men-you had the choice of birth control OR not to sleep with a man you werent in a committed relationship with.
Nice try though as I told the other chic. Vhhbh Send a private message. You know ur right sometimes women do make bad choices The man enters and doesn't finish inside hence that way you don't get pregnant Lanagoat66 Send a private message. Not all women are on welfare and can afford birth control so this can and does happen to women all the time.
Kitt Send a private message. You don't have to be on welfare to access birth control. Telemedicine is a thing! Not to mention the plethora of contraception already on the market. No one is responsible for your fertility, but you. There's no trapping a person.
Don't want to risk having kids? Don't have unprotected sex. It is that simple. My bd and I were engaged before I got pregnant. I wanted him to get help with substance abuse. We hadn't had sex for 3 weeks because he'd come home from "work" and sleep on the couch.
All of a sudden, we did. He wanted me to go get checked out. I had just had a baby, so with the follow up appointments, we knew nothing was wrong with me, so he had to confess he crept around. I went to the doctor to make sure I was straight. I was fine, but found out I was pregnant. I couldn't keep that baby knowing that I was pregnant by someone who would connivingly do that just to cover up cheating and to make it seem like I gave him something.
He dropped off pampers later that day and while intoxicated, attacked me because I filed for child support that day and I did not want to keep the baby. He said, "You don't want to keep it no way. I'll just find somebody else to have my son. Then he knocked 2 women up: He knew that would kill me. It was a boy; he text me the pics. I blocked his number. The baby was born 2 days b4 his bday which is 2 days b4 mine.
Two months later, he left and tried to get back with me because we were moving away. I had a miscarriage shortly after that.
My kids are my blessing, but I wouldn't have anything the other 2 survived. The father of my child knew I wasn't on birth control.. Wasn't even going to go back to my ex before him but I guess that was his way to keep me tied down.
Doesn't make any sense that he did that because he left me and our daughter for some new girl he met up at his work. He hasn't seen our daughter since I found out the reason why he left. Makes no sense bc his father wasn't in his life so why would he put our daughter through that knowing how it feels?!
Edited on July 17, at No man can trap you into being pregnant. Birth control is readily available. Stop blaming the man for you being too stupid to protect yourself. I have no sympathy. TruthBTold Send a private message. Have a baby mama.
Don't care anything about her. It really depends on the person. For some, yes, maybe they didn't want the relationship to end and the break wasn't their choice. Deep down they are still hoping or wishing things had worked out differently, especially if there wasn't something major like abuse or cheating going on. And sometimes despite how horrible a person the ex is, some people just never let go or move on.
For others, they move on quickly. All comes down to the individual. Natty26 Send a private message. Um - each situation is different I guess. But I do want to add one small tidbit here, I see a lot of guys saying their "baby momma" got too much drama - all I think when I read that is 'why does she have drama?
I know for certain that my ex tells the whole damn planet that I'm insane and always looking for conflict, nah-ah, not quite the full story. The dude is completely depraved and behaves like an irresponsible teenager when in reality he's a man in his 50's who refuses acknowledgement of his daughter.
We were together for 3 years on and off and when I fell pregnant he ran for the hills and didn't participate in this AT ALL. So, do I have "drama" - yup! Do I act crazy? To be stranded during your first pregnancy, financially reliant on this asshole, emotional, hormonal and to be left for dead could maybe make a person slightly insane.
I'm certain his new GF also hears about the "crazy ex baby momma" But she doesn't know the half of it. Sick of dudes acting like women just go crazy for no reason - yea right! PhearBunny Send a private message. I will always love my baby mama. Its hard to explain why, since she was a terrible partner for me, and we weren't compatible at all.
We had ALOT of attraction and chemistry, but absolutely no compatability. I think it probably has to do with me being a very old fashioned family oriented man, I would love nothing more than to see our family put back together and actually work out. I would honestly endure any pain or hardship for that to happen.
The thought of my daughter being parented by another man rips me apart inside and its always been very hard for me to cope with. Really I feel sorry for the current and future women in my life, because I would drop them in a heartbeat to go back and try to make things work Don't have kids unless your absolutely sure about your partner, and have had years to learn and understand them, otherwise theres a good chance your going to live a long life of unfulfilled mediocrity.
Isn't it kind of selfish to date someone when you feel this way? You could really end up completely hurting a person dating them halfheartedly. You should try to get over this woman first and then date.
If you can't, you should never seriously pursue a relationship with anyone, ever. Just thinking about dating someone like you, hurts my heart. The fact that a woman would give you her all, only for you to throw it away if the baby mama so much as wishes it That's the right thing to do. ChooseWisely Send a private message. Bro, I understand what you mean. Your bm had a profound effect on you. If the relationship was toxic then this is how it can affect you. I really hope this is not the same anonymous that has asked this question like five other times If it is, you really need to either find a way to let it go, or you need to move on to a guy without a child.
It will always depend on the person in question. In the world men live in things tend to be more conditional. It leads men to prioritize more where women may not have so much of that growing up. So the Guys may be more conditional with obedience to his will being a prime condition. If he sees himself as having been used as a "sperm donor" and then an "ATM" it is likely he will figure his kids will be taught at home to see him the same way "Mama" does.
I've been on a lot of Men's Issues message boards and listened to the things that a lot of divorced men talk about. Some are sad, some bitter, and some are more about a sense of duty. NikoB Send a private message. So, I just got out of a 3 year relationship with a guy who has a child.
Honestly, I haven't been happy for the past 3 years deep down because i know this other woman will forever be in his life. Last month i had a wake up call and had to just end it after his child's 3rd bday. I'm no longer in love with him and feel like an additional person when I'm with him and his child I just know I'm not the right match for him because i will never accept the fact that he has a child by another woman and not with me KayRon Send a private message. Im in a similar situation right now, I m still in love but feel like if I can't get past this, the love on one end will come to an end.
Which is especially horrible for the little one. Find a great single dude, forget about this dude, even if the sex was out of this world, use logic when picking your men, the emotional shit is what has you in pain, the logic told you to leave.
Use that logic to find someone dope and with no baggage. I wish I was smart enough to leave when I could without having any drama or genetic attachments. Not all men will have a "bond" or be attracted to their baby mama. In my case, I was 20 and she was 19 when she got pregnant, so we got married.
It was the biggest mistake of my life and she constantly berated me, belittled me, manipulated me, and physically and verbally abused me over the course of five years before I figured out that she was never going to change.
When I filed for divorce she used our son as a pawn to get her way and she even told him that I didn't love him anymore. Throughout the divorce she constantly told me that I was a horrible person and tried to bully me into getting back together with her, by telling me that I would never find anyone to love me, that I was sinning against God, telling me my son wouldn't respect me when he got older, blah blah blah.
Needless to say, and remaining scrap of respect I had for her when I filed for divorce quickly dissipated and was replaced with disgust anytime her name was mentioned. I am thankful every day that I am not with her. Abogun Send a private message. Nowadays is your lucky day. It might be like it magical or outside of reactually - a particular capacity as well as super-Power of which severalone comes into the world with. But It is not. And it might be broken on to a few simple steps you could follow to create the same thing occur in your case.
In this information I m planning to break down those systems. Will not miss get specific Offer for Meet Females Tonight Questionable new approach attracts women to you personally without saying a term.
Dating Suggestions After Divorce. You really don't would like to miss this possibility. Dating Suggestions After Divorce is well above anything you'll discover currently available. The program uses a phone application to offer dating suggestions, discounts, and conversation starters. Wed, 11 Sep PRWeb August 28, Read the full story at http: Kardashian matriarch explains that her daughter's marriage isn't about to end.
Thu, 15 Aug Womens Top Dating Answers. Subscribe to our RSS Feed. Follow Us on Twitter. Be Our Fan on Facebook. American Woman Dating Egyptian Man: Dating A Greek American Man: Dating Coptic Egyptian Man: Dating An Egyptian Man Advice: Christian Dating Professional Services Evaluations. Dating A Man For Marriage: What Can Best Christian Man For Man Dating: Professional Women Dating Ide Fat Man Dating Tips: Dating A Rich Fat Man: Christian Dating Right Or Wrong Tips On Dating A Frenchman: Dating Advice For Men There are a multitude of systemic factors which have served to deliberately destroy black families, and this is part of what has led to the chaos we see in our community today.
The purpose of this piece is really to emphasize the important role that family planning plays in your ability to build wealth. When your son heads to college, the money is in the bank. When you die, your kids are inheriting a house instead of holding a fundraiser to bury you. Unfortunately, this is but a dream to many members of the African American community, since most of us are accustomed to struggling from the womb till the tomb. You fight to do all you can for your children as a family unit.
Sometimes these stories have a happy ending and sometimes they do not. There are better ways to bring our children into the world and better ways to raise them.
We must not be afraid to ask the hard questions, including the following:. The man with multiple kids by multiple women is not only going to destroy himself financially, he has spread himself so thin that it is extremely difficult nearly impossible for him to be a good father to all of those children in different households, maintain his own family and provide for every one of those kids economically and emotionally. Some of our relationships have become like rocket boosters on a NASA spaceship.
When a NASA rocket is launched in a big, violent explosion, the boosters eventually detach and are thrown into the ocean. They are only used to launch the rocket into orbit, and new boosters are typically built for every new launch. Sometimes, it seems that fathers are used in the same way: In the end, the kids suffer the most. Maybe we can do better for ourselves.
Also,when relationships fall apart, this means that the odds of building wealth are diminished severely, and the hamster wheel of black economic struggle continues.
The point is that having a child is like starting a small business with someone and entering into a long-term contract. Also, the father is a partner in this business and has rights, whether you want him to have those rights or not.
However, there are a lot of cases where fathers want to be involved, but the terrain is roughened by an overbearing mother. Those situations should be accounted for as well. Much of this is due to systematic failures, particularly the mass incarceration of black men. With so many fathers in prison, the phenomenon has negatively impacted our culture and taken many fathers out of the home.
Imsges: dating a guy with multiple baby mamas
Sleeps all day except when he watches our daughter when I go to college.
They like ages between
So the Guys may be more conditional with obedience to his will being a prime condition. Housewife92 Send a private message. He wants to run aroundand be with multiple girls and imagine he gets one pregnant, they won't even hesitate to put him on childsupport. And I just looked him like you can't be serious? I feel you on all that.
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