The Hardships of Dating Locals | The World of Chinese

A White Man's Guide to Dating Asian Girls

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Submit a new link. Is this what an English education gets you these days? While she leans her head on his in perfect contentment, he has his cheek buried in her bosom while staring at it with a prurient curiosity that surely would have snapped the girl out of her reverie.

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If you want to marry, you have to buy a house and pay for a wedding in her hometown. I'm curious how did you meet these guys? As if that was not bad enough, he picked his teeth and burped in front of me after eating. In the short time I was seeing him, he went through about 3 or 4 cars, bought closets full of brand name clothes, and seemed to be constantly jetting around the country, spending almost every other weekend in Shanghai. A total of couples of Western men and Asian women versus only six couples of Asian men and Western women including him and his Brazilian wife.

The first Chinese man that I dated was far from traditional. His international flavor gave me the confidence to take a chance. Unfortunately, it only took me all of one date to notice the cultural barrier between us. The guy was in full show-off mode, trying to impress me by turning up at the university in a Lamborghini to drive me for a dinner just 15 minutes away. It was at a hot-pot restaurant where he proceeded to lavishly order vast expanses of food that were way too much, including exotic cuisines such as cow intestines and pork feet, while showing a bad attitude to the waiters.

As he double-dipped, loudly slurped, and toothily chewed on his noodles I began to lose my appetite. As if that was not bad enough, he picked his teeth and burped in front of me after eating. I began to think it unbelievable that this man gave even the vaguest pretense of being worldly. Is this what an English education gets you these days? I brought this particular dating experience up with another friend, my Canadian mate, Jen.

She had a similar experience. Every dinner we would feast big, and I could not recall any time I was with him without involving hours in restaurants.

Yes, but really, thanks for taking the time to write this. A thread made for guys and the "type" of Chinese girls is likely to be a joke thread, but you at least helped one person a guy no less out. I want to learn Chinese badly but I suppose I'll need to move there first and I'm not quite sure where to start. Will be going for the first time in 4 weeks for about 2 weeks.

However, I know that although it's possible, the girl I'm in love with probably isn't that way. Her English is near-fluent and she has several white friends. It's possible she speaks differently in Chinese but I would have at least seen some red flags over the course of two years.

Still, it's sound advice, but the advice I would give to people reading are it's advice you should listen to but don't let it make you paranoid After I met my girlfriend's parents aunts, uncles, family friends ,and grandparents , questions began about when we would get married. I didn't make the connection until another friend's Chinese girlfriend suggested he didn't meet her parents when they came into town because of how big a step it would be.

This may not ring true for everyone, but based on my experience I would suggest holding off meeting the folks unless you actually think you will probably get married. Also, just wondering, but what advice would you give for meeting the parents of each of these people? Have you found much resistance from them?

The best advice I can give- try to speak to them in Chinese. About anything , it really doesn't matter. Just open your mouth.

They will feel so much more comfortable if they know they can communicate with you. And bond over the love of food. Eat everything and anything they give you- and insist on helping them prepare meals or wrap up jiaozi. Listen to the elders. Abide by the laws of Chinese culture and try to show off your "traditional" side. Respect the daughter, give the parents unlimited face. If you want to marry, you have to buy a house and pay for a wedding in her hometown.

Not every parent will require that, but it's for sure a part of the deal for most Chinese guys. Wait - what, are you in China or never visited the place? I am not the typical rich white guy, am brown Indian and don't even wear a watch or strut latest smart phone to show off! Edit - realized you are not in there. So yea, still stays. Good luck and don't be scared by the scamsters!! You are not talking at the same level. There is a difference between scamming you for a few bucks and lying about your whole relationship.

I am not even sure, I think they will also scam a Chinese if they see the slightest opportunity. Do not see racism everywhere! Yep, read your later post. Welcome, and have a good trip. Make veeeerrrryyyy good friends with all of his friends.

If it ever goes south, don't complain about him just let them guess but act appropriately hurt and downtrodden. I dated one of those, but he ended up being a lying, cheating arsehole and now most of his friends are my friends instead. Thanks for this guide! Do you mind if I ask where in the States you're from, and what race you are? I was looking for a boyfriend when living in China last year, but it's hard being black and finding a Chinese guy who was cool with that. Even though my Chinese was good, and I'm American.

That's just the way it is, I guess The racism against black people is pervasive and really disgusting. I hate that shit about China. I'm sorry you had to experience that. Yeah, unfortunately that's a side-effect of the west being shown as white in Chinese media.

Wow, the fu er dai guy sounds amazing! As a Chinese born Kiwi, I find most Chinese guys to be too old school and stuffy - even the "gangsta" ones.

Clearly I've been hanging out with the wrong ones. One question I never quite got was the type of looks that western women like in a Chinese man. From what I know, Chinese women like paler men who look "scholarly" and "cultured", but those types of men would be dismissed in the west as nerdy, submissive and feminine. So do western women like the country boy look, ie tanned, muscular, and forward demeanor? Or would women's view be skewed by the majority of other women around them? I didn't even notice men's teeth before I came to China.

Now, it doesn't matter how hot he is, if he doesn't have good teeth, I won't even consider going out on a date with him. I'm curious how did you meet these guys? Did they approach you or did you approach them? They all approached me. The Controller was an English major who liked to hang around the foreign student's dorms, and so he quickly became aware of my arrival and invited me on a date.

The Fu Er Dai actually called the university and asked some school official to set him up with an American English tutor- at the time, he was planning on going to America to study. We both quickly realized he was paying me way too much and his motivation for studying was way too small. He quickly gave up on the idea of learning English and going abroad- so he started dating me.

So basically, they all initiated the relationship. I don't think a single one of them was "intimidated" by me- haha.

I know the type "He quickly gave up on the idea of learning English and going abroad". He probably never finished a thing he started in his life. Might be fun and nice with money, but those kinds of guys aren't worth wasting any significant amount of time on. He probably never finished a thing he started in his life I find it both sad and hilarious that "learn Chinese" had to be bolded. Learn fucking Chinese no matter what you're doing here, and especially if you're dating a local.

Personally, I find it a little bit insulting if a girl I'm dating won't even try to learn English and integrate into my world the same way I try to integrate into hers.

That being said, I've never dated a girl who could speak very good English, but I've also never dated one who didn't try. You know, we tend to make fun of Chinese guys on all sorts of issues related to sex, so I'd actually like to know if this is just us Laowai blowing our own horns, so to speak.

How are Chinese guys in bed? Some of the best sex I've had was with Chinese guys. Some of the worst sex I've had was with Chinese guys. On average, the Chinese guys I have been with have been more self centered in bed than the Western guys I have been with. This is not to say that there haven't been Western guys who cared only about getting themselves off, just that it seems to be more prevalent among the Chinese ones I've known.

When counting the number of women they have slept with, they admit to a smaller number. However, few of them are initially willing to admit to me that they've ever done anything with a hooker and almost none of them count hookers in "number of women they've slept with". I've found a higher percentage of Chinese men to be self centered in bed than non-Chinese men. I've only had a Westernized Chinese migrant in the west and two Taiwanese guys but The migrant was pretty selfish and lackluster, the Taiwanese guys were both mind blowing.

I think you'd need to ask someone who's had a good run in china proper for a more accurate response, though. If I was a girl or gay, I'd go for Taiwan guys, and maybe Thais.

Thais would be great, smiling and shit. I don't understand why the relationship with the rich kid ended over visa issues. A guy with a family like that should be able to make 1 phone call and have a new visa for you within a day.

Interesting that people interpet it as "because of visa issues. What I meant to convey is- his life was all about floating around with no general direction, the only purpose in mind being "having fun. On the other hand- I have classes that I need to show up to everyday.

I need to build a resume, learn my job well, makes plans ahead of time and stick with them. So our lives didn't really fit. It must be nice to never worry about money, and have a rich family who don't pressure you too much.

I think there are girls out there who would consider those spontaneous types to be the perfect bf. What the world needs more: All of them are fetishizing the hell out of these poor Asian girls.

Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your experiences. LOL really, i didnt know. It does kind of ruin the show that she bailed and ended up marrying an american. Maybe the whole jewish thing was too much..

Was that fuerdai from a legit family as legit as it gets here I guess or was he gov. Both his father and grandfather are government officials- but his mother is a business woman who runs a large 4-star hotel in town. To add, a lot of your advice carries over to dating women too.

Relationships tend to move from barely know you to practically married in about a week. It's frustrating because if you want to take things slow then partners run for the hills because they assume it's because you are a player.

Cheating and lying is absolutely rampant in both sexes - way more than I saw in the west. I'll give my account of dating Chinese girls. Please take my jaded reverberating with a grain of salt. This girl doesn't know what a Europe is but can wear high heels like a moa'fo. These girls are often very loyal and care incredibly about their lover but emotions run way higher than they need to and everything is super dramatic.

They are the type of girls who never want to leave your side no matter what and if you leave there side for whatever reason it's because you are a bad boyfriend who doesn't treat them well and is probably cheating.

These girls know how to play men even if it's the only thing they know. Many of these girls end up being fairly well educated if not self educated and often speak English really well, hold multiple jobs, and make decent money.

Problem is they are so involved in the game that truth no longer exists and men are just an source of provisions. These girls are literally soulless and will manipulate you, fake drama and emotions, then drop you or lie to you as soon as a better deal rolls along.

Benefits can hold a conversation, often has more money than you, has a social life and likes to go out, crazy sex. Mixed feelings on SH although can't claim to be really familiar with it. Can't even name to stations in SH so no def not although a huge portion of me wonders what if You have to stop dating in bars.

Those are basically the two types of girls who hang out in bars. I've know a bunch of Chinese women who don't fit those two categories. What's more the child-like females never go out to bars. Crying is seen as weakness. Because this is engrained at such an early age, this may cause some Asian men to continue withholding emotion as they grow up.

Parents educate and try to push their children to work harder and achieve more by using negative language versus complimentary language. Sure, an Asian guy will think bubble tea is a perfectly acceptable venue for a first date. Nothing wrong with that! Think crepes with fruit compote or shaved ice cream, their way of romanticizing the occasion involves making the girl happy first before letting themselves pick a place that might suit their own taste. Beware the tiger mom.

When it comes to marriage prospects, Asian guys take into consideration the advice of his parents. Asian guys never make the first move. Asian guys are taught by their traditional parents that in order for them to meet the right person, you must already be a successful individual with a lot to offer. You date to marry. Caucasian guys are told they are going to meet a lot of people first before finding the right one.

Hugs, cuddles and kisses however, not so much. The author has chosen not to comment at this time. Race is just an overated to put on as label to date or marry someone, they fall in love with. Some Asians like myself understand the western culture very well and accepted it without judging. I can live with both equally.

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chinese guy dating

Sounds like you're positively steeped in the drama and rumoring and people knowing the details of your life. Some will want to marry you immediately, some will think it wise to not even be in a real relationship at all. It's just good fiscal policy.

chinese guy dating

In Sweden, feminism is a big thing.

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Go to mobile chinese guy dating. I knew one girl in China that dated a Chinese guy that I knew was bad news Seemingly whatever words the listener wanted to hear the most. What a coincidence I would ask him for help of all people on the street. Which is lucky- because he couldn't string a single fluent English sentence together and wasn't about to apologize for it.