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But it also has the highest number of laws and regulations in the world. It took 2 years for him to find work as a consultant. My husband is not only happy to be a lower earner and work less hours than I do, but he is proud of me and supports me fully. He says that he is happy to pay, and it detracts from his enjoyment when I am not willing to make such plans, while I feel very uneasy with that.

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Does anyone have the situation where they are the one with a lower income and have issues with that sometimes? I know that I have a tendency to be a goody-two-shoes but am I being too pollyanna-ish about this issue? A work fashion blog offering fashion, lifestyle, and career advice for overachieving chicks. Advertising Disclosure Displayed content is offered by businesses which have been compensated. Whoa, thanks for this. And it is all about quality of life. Obviously, I'm not doing too well where I am, so going abroad is a good option for me, and one that I'm interested in doing eventually.

Furthermore, ferulic acid is also a natural antioxidant which is usually contained in plant and is able to help in neutralizing the harmful free radicals. And do you know that? Thus, adding corn to your diet is a good way to make you become healthy. However, you ought to remember that corn also contains a lot of fatty acids; therefore, those people who are at the high risks of suffering from cardiovascular disease ought not to consume corns.

Moreover, when someone consumes too much corn oil or too many fresh corns, their situations will be worse and worse or they may gain weight. Thereby, it is suggested that you had better eat a proper amount of corns in order to achieve the maximum health benefits of corn.

Another one of the amazing benefits of corn for health is improving your hair and scalp. As you can see, both of them can help to control the inflammation and prevent your scalp from getting flaky and dry. These fatty acids are the important constituents of all structure which creates favorable condition for the transport of fat, and if you get a deficiency of any fatty acid among these two kinds, it may cause brittle hair or hair fall.

Thus, if you want to improve the health of your hair and your scalp, you ought to use the oil extracted from corn. Now you may wonder to know how to use corn oil, in this case, right? Here is your wanted answer. If someone asks you about the benefits of corn, protecting your heart is one of the answers that you can tell them.

Why is it said like that? According to some studies they have shown that corn oil contains the anti-atherogenic influence on the cholesterol levels. Therefore, it can help you to decrease the risk of suffering from several cardiovascular diseases. Especially, corn oil is considered as one of the best ways in order to promote the heart health. As mentioned early, corn has a lot of fatty acids including omega-3 fatty acids and omega-6 fatty acids. As a result, it will decrease the opportunities of arteries turning into clogged and will also decrease blood pressure.

Moreover, the chance of suffering from stroke and heart attack will be reduced as well. Another one of the amazing benefits of corn which you ought to know is lowering LDL cholesterol. According to a research in an article, they have said that when someone consumes the corn husk oil, it may help in lowering the plasma LDL cholesterol.

How can it lower the plasma LDL cholesterol? It can do by decreasing the absorption of cholesterol in our body. Do you know that? When the LDL cholesterol in the body is decreased, the heart disease will be reduced, atherosclerosis will be prevented as well.

When talking about the wonderful benefits of corn, controlling hypertension and diabetes is one of them. I can see why Americanized men feel surreal when meeting women like you have shown us It's pretty sad when comparing feminine ladies instead of these good for nothing spoiled children Aw's Good for you Winston, live it up. I will need to browse through you information and start planning me a nice bachelor trip! Your analysis of the social scene in the U. This country is social hell Thank you, Winston, for providing reassurance to those of us who haven't traveled as extensively as you.

Happierabroad, nomarriage, and the-niceguy gave me hope! I wish I was in your shoes. American men are good and decent and deserve better than the feminist nightmare there being offered in their own country.

Pretty much everything stated on this website is true, it is like being on a different planet. Now I see how much damage the US matrix has done - 20 years of baggage and issues, mistrust and rejection are ingrained into my view on reality. I assume rejection before I even talk to a woman, which ruins the potential for doing anything with her at all.

In the states, a man is openly described as pathetic if he approaches a woman, asks for her number, etc. I can see that going outside of the US matrix behavior pattern produces unimaginable results here that would be impossible in the US It could take many years to begin reprogramming myself. Ive always had trouble expressing to my family and friends exactly the right words as to why I just cant meet woman in the US, at least not the kind I want.

It was by far the most comprehensive and cumulative work I've ever encountered on the subject. Big thanks to you for that, for devoting your life to this cancerous world's problem. At first I thought that emphasis on dating is a bit shallow and might repel some thinking, deep people, but the more I looked at it, I came to think that it might just do the opposite I am a 26 yr old White South African woman married to an American man.

I have been in USA for 4 years. Thank you Winston, I am glad that you have discovered how much better foreign women are, and I wish you all the happiness in the world. View all praises and testimonials.

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Then see our Expat Advisor's Blog and Ebook. Unrivaled in scope and depth, it contains insights, wisdom, lessons and advice on World Living and deep comparative cultural analyses.

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Our Research Specialist Steve Neese has compiled a groundbreaking scholarly Research Section detailing the findings of national experts and studies that confirm our claims about the narcissism and degradation of relationships and women in America. His Research brings credentials and legitimacy to our arguments. The mysql extension is deprecated and will be removed in the future: What happened to Ghost?

Gauge her passion first! How to Make Money Online. Listen to internet radio with Gurusradio on Blog Talk Radio. Welcome to Happier Abroad. A few questions for you: If so, then you've come to the right place! I have Good News for you: In I made the greatest discovery of my life, which was that: It's very simple yet very taboo, because we are taught by western culture to blame ourselves for all problems.

Therefore, I have a great message and life changing secret to share with YOU: If you go abroad to one of the many authentic saner foreign cultures, you will have a better and healthier life in many major areas, such as: A better social life, dating life, mental health, physical health and food, lower cost of living and more freedom! That's at least 6 major categories of life right there that will be greatly improved by leaving America! This is one of the Biggest Secrets and the greatest self-help secret that America and it's psychologists don't want you to know!

Let's elaborate on the 6 major ways your life will be better by getting out of America. Better Social Life Abroad: America has one of the worst social scenes and social cultures.

There is no social or human connection with others. The environment is too socially disconnected, segregated, isolating, paranoid and fake. It's very hard to make any normal friends. The social vibe feels very negative. Everyone wants to be left alone in their own bubble.

People don't like to meet people or connect with others. Americans act too fake, arrogant, narcissistic and toxic, making it hard to get along with them. Conversations are usually business-related only, especially with strangers. Thus America is probably the loneliest country in the world. In contrast, in most overseas countries, there is more natural social connection. People are more genuine, real and down-to-earth. So it is far easier to connect with others and make real friends.

Foreign social atmospheres are more inclusive, and social life flows more smoothly and naturally. Happiness is shared with others, not kept to oneself. Friendships are more true and meaningful. Note that America was not always like this though. Better Dating Life Abroad: America has the worst dating scene for most men.

The women and girls are too spoiled and given too much power, making them highly fake, arrogant, narcissistic, picky, toxic, unfriendly and unapproachable with the worst attitude.

Thus they are the hardest females to connect with, and the furthest thing from authenticity that you can get. Also, they are way too difficult and entitled. Their standards are way too high for most men for they seek the top 10 or 15 percent of men.

Since they are too independent and don't need men, they either want the best men or nothing at all. This makes America the worst dating scene for men, totally nightmarish, hostile and lopsided. As a result, there are more single males without dating choices in America than in any other country. In contrast, in most foreign countries, most women are sweet, feminine, down-to-earth, genuine, friendly and approachable, like real women were meant to be.

Thus it is far easier to connect with them and get dates or find girlfriends or wives. Foreign women have a more pro-male attitude compared to the anti-male attitude in the West.

Also, flirtation in America is seen as creepy and taboo by women, whereas in many friendlier foreign cultures, flirtation creates energy and excitement and women find it flattering. Moreover, foreign women cherish their God-given femininity whereas American women abhor femininity and see it as oppressive. There are many overseas cultures where meeting and dating quality single women comes naturally, like breathing!

But this is not publicized in any positive light in America, due to its taboo and politically incorrect nature. So the point is, you don't have to remain lonely and put up with a loveless life!

Better Mental Health Abroad: According to the World Health Organization, if you live in America you have almost a 50 percent chance of developing a mental illness! Thus the US is the most mentally ill country in the world. No doubt about it. America also has the biggest mental health industry and the highest rate of anti-depressant use in the world as well. A major reason for this is that American culture is very fake and toxic, so in order to fit in you have to become fake and toxic yourself.

Otherwise, if you are genuine and down-to-earth, you will be alienated and out-of-place. But in wearing a fake mask everyday, one denies one's true self, thus resulting in a split psychosis in one's inner psyche. As a consequence, one's mental health deteriorates and fragments. Fakeness abounds in extremes in America and pervades all aspects of its culture and life, so you can't avoid it there. When you are free to be yourself in an authentic culture, you will have better mental health for sure.

Being FREE to be yourself is the ultimate freedom. If you can't be yourself, then you aren't free, regardless of what political system you live under. Better Physical Health and Food Abroad: America has the highest rates of obesity, cancer, heart disease and diabetes in the world. Even their counterparts in Britain and Canada are healthier. Everyone knows the US is the fattest nation in the world. Food in the US contains too many unhealthy ingredients and toxins, dangerous GMO's genetically modified organisms , and fluoridated water.

Trying to eat healthy in the US is too complicated and expensive at health food stores. Not only is food addictive, but Americans overeat to fill their emptiness and void as well, since they have no true social connection or shared happiness to fulfill them. It's the biggest weight loss secret that the US nutrition industry doesn't want you to know.

In Europe for example, mainstream food is healthy so there is no need for health food stores. My friends and I have all lost significant weight while in China, Russia and Europe. People abroad also walk more because there is better public transportation, so they get more exercise.

Also, foreign cultures are less toxic and more authentic, which is better for your mental health, as explained earlier, which results in better physical health as well since there is a proven mind-body connection. Lower Cost of Living Abroad: America has one of the highest costs of living in the world. Prices on almost everything are overly inflated and crazily expensive. Restaurant meals in the US are at least 10 dollars, even if they suck, compared to 3 or 4 dollars in China for a large healthy Chinese meal.

Haircuts in the US start at 20 dollars plus tips, whereas in China they are 3 dollars with no tip. Taxis cost around 50 dollars, compared to only a few dollars in China.

Shipping international packages from the US cost around 30 to 50 dollars, whereas in China shipping overseas packages is almost free. Inflation has destroyed the US dollar in the 20th Century alone by deflating 95 percent of its value, due to the fraudulent fiat currency system of private central banks such as the Federal Reserve.

The US is also the only developed nation with no universal healthcare and its healthcare costs are astronomical. Medical expenses is the 1 cause of bankruptcy in America. In contrast, most foreign countries have a lower cost of living, so you can live on less, giving you more purchasing power. There are many ways to live cheaply overseas, depending on your standards and lifestyle. And all other developed countries have universal health care, so people don't have to go bankrupt from medical expenses , even in nations with low income taxes such as Taiwan.

See the Michael Moore documentary "Sicko". So while China, Russia and many other countries may lack political freedoms that the US has, they have social freedoms that the US doesn't have. But it also has the highest number of laws and regulations in the world.

In contrast, Mexico has one of the fewest laws in the world, so any Mexican can tell you that Mexico is far freer than uptight America. So how can the "freest country" have the biggest prison population? But in America, you can't do that because everything is too privatized. So one has to pay expensive permits to sell stuff in public places, thus inflating prices unnecessarily. Obviously, to fit into a fake phoney culture, one has to be fake and phoney, lest one be alienated and out-of-place.

As they say, "In a mad society, only the mad are sane. So whenever someone asks "How are you? So America's expectation of "eternal optimism and positivity" is not reasonable or realistic.

America basically denies human nature in trying to be so artificial. Therefore, America doesn't allow you the freedom to be honest about how you are feeling at any particular moment. However, in other countries you are allowed to speak honestly about how you feel, whether good or bad. People do not have the absurd expectation that you always have to be "doing great" because as mentioned, overseas cultures tend to be more down-to-earth and authentic, not fake. Sure you can criticize the government in the US whereas you can't in China, however in China you can speak freely on social issues that you can't in the US.

For example, you can criticize and expose the harmful lies of liberalism, feminism and multi-culturalism in China, and you can talk freely about obvious racial and gender differences. But if you do that in the US, it is a big taboo and you could lose your job and be ostracized.

For hundreds of more comparisons, see my Comparison Treatise. So does the Happier Abroad solution make sense to you now?

I hope so, because all the above are biggies that matter and affect you personally. It is ridiculous that he finds it emasculating to clean a dish. He should want to clean the apt because it makes you, the breadwinner, feel better. When my husband was deferred he cooked, cleaned, and did the chores — because he wanted to make my life easier. Having less sex is a natural evolution of a relationship and all parties should understand. He should love you regardless of how frequent the sex is.

If you are actually never having sex, then this is actually a huge problem. This may sound harsh, but if you have those issues now, how can you imagine it will get better if he finds a job and you get engaged? What happens if you get laid off or are home taking care of kids in the future? Would he expect you to do all the housework that is somehow beneath him now? Honestly, it killed my sex drive too because I could not respect him any longer when he could not or would not take a job that would provide for his own basic needs.

At the end of the day, getting out of that relationship was one of the best decisions I made. Getting married which we discussed would only have ended in a divorce. Does he have savings he can draw on? Or parents he can ask? You could make it a bit easier by asking him to just pay half the rent — you could still pay for smaller things like groceries esp.

One possible angle might be to say, looks like you feel emasculated by basically acting as a house-husband, so maybe we can get on a more equal footing by you contributing to expenses. Totally agree with 3. I understand the privileged background therefore too good for Starbucks mentality, and if the two of you are really committed then it may not be so bad for him to wait for a real opportunity to come along. But in the meantime, he should be viewing the two of you as partners who collectively need to get X, Y and Z done i.

Since you are focused on one part of the equation, he should naturally be focused on others. As for the sex issues, no sex drive whatsoever is bad. I think your sex drive is telling you what the posters here are telling you — you are talking yourself into staying in a bad relationship, and you should get out.

You can do much better. Just wanted to throw my 2 cents here, but honestly, if you have this many issues and are not even engaged or married , then you should get out of the relationship. Your significant other seems very self-centered. Especially once kids are in the picture assuming you have them. Things that annoy you now will annoy you tenfold once you have children.

I have a hard time seeing a long-term rosy future for you with a man who uses sex as a weapon, which is what your BF is doing. I could have written this exact post. I love my job, but completely resent spouses current unemployment. You have to generate some income….. Not pretty, or politically correct but the truth…….

I could have written this post. Then he got laid off in a restructuring. He decided to take 6 months of his severence and just take a breather while deciding what to do next.

In month 5, the economy cratered and his industry laid off thousands of people. It took 2 years for him to find work as a consultant. We had agreed that he should hold out for a good job for him, not just take anything, at least until our savings got to X amount. We cut our lifestyle way back but still have burned through most of our savings. And, yes, my sex drive completely disappeared. Partly because I was stressing out about what we would do if 1 year of unemployment stretched into two, and partly because I resented him for not working harder to find a job.

And partly because it was really, really hard for me to put in a long day and come home exhausted and still have to figure out what to eat for dinner. I guess in general, everything feels more fragile and tenuous. I do not think she sucks at all. I think she is being really, incredibly truthful in the kind of way you can only do with complete anonymity. I think this is fine — until this skewed perspective interferes with our own ability to be happy. He is an artist and is incredibly talented and successful according to the professional demarcations of that field.

But he makes no money. It is definitely a source of resentment for me. I love my husband beyond words, and he is so supportive of my much more demanding, and more lucrative, job. Can you try to look around for a job that still pays OK but is more fun for you? Meanwhile, start networking and sending out resumes.

But for him to stop feeling defensive and start thinking constructively, he needs to be focused on making you happy and solving a joint problem, rather than on how inadequate you feel his contribution is. There is nothing wrong with your feelings of resentment, but sharing them may not be the best way to get what you want in this situation. And the way the economy is now, the big expensive cities are where the jobs are. So sure you can move somewhere cheaper, but then your husband might not be employed at all.

I agree there is a lot of keeping up with the Joneses but I also think it is tough for a family of 4 to make drastic life changes even if they want to. Or are they in the highest tax bracket? This is how I feel all the time, except I make three times more. And I hate myself for feeling this way. Kids just grow up. But, if you feel strongly about having a parent home with the kid, why not have your husband stay home?

We ate dinner an hour later during tax season and little things like that but my parents just picked up the slack for each other depending on what time of year it was. But if you like being a CPA, really, your kids will be fine. It was also wonderful to have such a close relationship with my father, especially as a teenager, and as a girl!

My mom was in law school when she was pregnant with me, and she was passionate about her career when I was a kid. Even so, my brother and I always knew that we were loved and were a major priority in our parents lives.

For example, my mom was able to rearrange her work schedule so that she could pick us up in the afternoons, spend time with us, make dinner, etc. My dad worked longer during the week, but took over more weekend duties. If you really care about your future kids and try to be there for them when you can, it will show.

My mom stayed home with my brother and I until my dad left when I was 8. After that I was in daycare and I freaking hated it. I knew my husband would never make much. I have been trying for over a year to get the hell out of public accounting and so far nothing is working out for me.

I think a big part is the communication there. Can the lower earners really fault the higher earners in this situation? If he was always on a low earning path, she might be less justified in her frustration. Any woman who believes that the man should support his family should be okay with the belief that the man is the head of the family. Is she okay with her worth being judged by her ability to produce children and keep house?

Or does she still want to have a career and have equal input in household decisions? Although I would argue that equality makes life better for all of us. And that means that respect can be equally derived from traditionally feminine or traditionally masculine sources. This is why men used to have more heart attacks than women: We are in a lare metropolitan area with a very high cost of living.

It would be difficult for us to survive on his income alone, particularly since I have student loans. As a wife and mother, I feel pressure for my house to look good, to be a good cook, for my kids to be well dressed, etc. I think it is ideal for one parent to stay at home — in my situation, my husband has no desire to stay home.

You know, I have NO experience with any of these things, but I bet that you are a very high-achieving woman who has always done well in life. In order to be a great lawyer, a great mother and a great wife — you need a great partner, and it seems like you need to have a serious talk with your husband to see if he is meeting that standard. Please understand that I am saying this from a place of absolute love: Tell your mother to shove it.

This was hard for me too, because I take great pride in my domestic abilities, but you know what? My house is dusty. I am not superwoman, and I have made choices in my life about what is most important. The first can be accomplished by hiring a housekeeper, or having your husband take on a greater load. The latter can be accomplished with the help of a counselor who can help you address these feelings of failure stemming from not being able to be in six places at once.

Reading all of these comments, I am so grateful to my mother for working and getting advanced degrees when I was a child. Plus, it also gives me leverage to tell my mom nicely to shove it if she ever tries to guilt me about the state of my home ;.

Maybe go on a long weekend with hubby let your perfect mom watch the kids and talk about where you want your life to go from here. Thanks for that comment. Trying to be a wife, mother, and lawyer at the same time has been a humbling experience. It is good to be reminded that it is ok — and normal — to feel humbled by it! Remember that children raised in a dirty house have more well-developed immune systems and are more resistant to colds; I remind my mother-in-law of this regularly.

Tell your mother to get bent or stuff it, whichever you prefer. You are under no obligation to live your life to please your mother, which would probably be impossible anyway I know, I think our mothers are similar.

Actually, I think we might be parallel-universe siblings. My whole life was hard until I finally told my mother the following: I love you; butt out B. I am not here to live up to your expectations, and you are not here to live up to mine, now that we are both adults and C. The main problem in my case was that my mom tried to keep me in the subordinate, insecure, child position in our relationship long past the point when it was no longer appropriate. Now that she knows I expect her to treat me as an adult — no different than she would treat any other adult — our relationship is a lot better.

Like Disneyland, except way more unattainable. Do what you can do. Let the rest go. See above about telling your mom to stuff it. The one who resents it the most is a lawyer who hates his job. I am so there with my mom right now, I feel like I am losing my mind. I want to scream. Thank you for this. My husband and I both have JDs from the same top 10 school. When we got married, we were both BigLaw associates. And its not about lifestyle — our loans and lifestyle could be sustained if both of us simply went to professional jobs everyday.

I felt this way also, with my ex. He got to do what he loved and not work very hard, then use my money to live a life of ease and convenience. It was hard not to feel resentful of that, especially because my personality would have been to save most of the money while I was making it, but he wanted to spend more not to an extreme or ridiculous extent, but he was not going to spend any of his copious free time clipping coupons or home cooking so that we could save money — things that I happily do now that I am single and have more free time.

This was my situation—my ex BF wanted a job that he would love but also insisted on the nice apartment and new gadgets. I was busy paying down my student loans.

Ended up ending the relationship; got my own apartment, stuck it out in biglaw and lived beneath my means so that I could pay down student loans and have more flexibility in where I work in the future.

It really comes down to how one values money and financial priorities. He valued his immediate happiness; I wanted to plan for the future and get out of debt even if it meant being unhappy for awhile. Threadjack on the subject of relationships. My SO and I work in the same field, doing similar things, and are similarly successful in a major American city. In this field, there are people that while not perhaps on their way to federal corruption charges tomorrow, do not operate in a way that I respect.

My SO does not endorse their beliefs or practices but does choose to network, be friendly with these people. The fact that my SO chooses to be affiliated with such people really bothers me. I know that my SO is a good person and completely trust them, but I just do not get why they would choose to affiliate with such people.

Thoughts on how to handle? I know that I have a tendency to be a goody-two-shoes but am I being too pollyanna-ish about this issue? Sorry for the grammar issues with this post! Any guidance provided would be appreciated. I have a client who holds some to me really prejudiced and wrong-headed views about certain groups of people and the way society works.

Similarly, I would definitely network with shady people if I thought it would get me more clients! Will you have a problem if your SO continues to network with them? I think perhaps that part of my hesitation is because we are in a public sector-related field so what offends me is not that these people personally but that they are doing harm to the public.

But if they are being indicted or whatever, then I would probably have a convo with your SO about cooling the networking with them! I think there are several questions to ask here. First, where are you hearing about these supposed unethical activities.

If you are just reading about it one news outlet, there is no real way to tell whether that reporting is fair and unbiased. I work for an organization that is facing some harsh criticism from one particular news outlet and as an insider, I know that news is very slanted.

I recently graduated law school and started making twice as much as my boyfriend of 2 years. When I was in school we were at the same income level so it felt fair to split everything.

Once I was working full time, it started feeling unfair, especially because he is in school still. Our solution was to start a joint checking account for our dinners out and weekend trips. Obviously not the solution for everyone but it works well for us.

We actually find ourselves not using it for dinners so that we can save for trips. It has been kind of fun to talk about finances and budgeting and saving together. For the inevitable friendly warnings, we are hoping to get married eventually and his credit score is better than mine.

My SO and I do this too, although we put in equal amounts since we make about the same. I think this communal savings account for couple things though is a great way to save for big trips, etc though. I have no idea what to do about it. Once your husband sees what life is like with two high incomes, he might like it a lot!

Also, look at it this way. It can be found here: I have a PhD, think the highest degree any of my S. I often find out, eventually, that they were on some kind of self-improvement kick and saw me as part of that.

That takes all or most of the fun out of a relationship, bad boy or not. Not to be cynical, but it has never worked for me. But do know that money, like sex, politics and religion is a BIG deal in a relationship. Both your incomes will vary wildly over your career — you get raises, promotions, you might get laid off, take a few years off to raise kids, pick a part-time career, start your own business…. I think what matters is an agreement on targeted standard of living and a commitment to taking turns to achieving it.

Secretary and lawyer is one thing; editor and doctor is another. My hedge fund friends make three times as much as I do. I have a lot of friends that went to a very prestigious liberal arts school and are very successful in their media-based careers.

That being said, I do agree that the level of wealth people are raised with can vastly shape their views. I agree with you ADS. The difference between incomes can come from something as simple as choosing a public sector career. Yep… and professors in humanities fields! I have more degrees and a few more years education that my husband; we both hold the same title Asst.

Not sure if I made it clear that altho the diff seemed not to matter at first , it eventually did, in a big way. Reading some of the other responses however, I am starting to think it is perhaps not about what you and your potential partner make now, but how you were raised and your feelings about income and social status. So it may not matter at all in the beginning but incompatibility becomes more apparent as time goes on. It is similar to dating and age.

Once you get too far from your age group on either end, the ability to relate to each other fades away. It may not matter at first but can later on. DH and I started dating in college, so we were on even footing. He got a job at a gym to pay the bills while he figured out what he wanted to do, and he worked hard at a job he hated in order to be able to kick in his share, and his gym earnings were pretty much even with my small-firm salary. Over the past few years, my salary has gone up, and his has gone down slightly since he started a career that he loves, though it will jump significantly in about a year thanks to lock-step increases.

He, on the other hand, has a government job with great job security and retirement benefits for now at least. Whatever either of us ends up earning in the future is a direct result of our joint efforts and decisions. Similar situation here … we started out on even footing when we were dating 6ish years ago, but now I make significantly more in the private sector while he works for the government and has great benefits.

What an interesting topic. I make more than my husband, who is a consultant in the healthcare field. He also works less hours than I do. From that backdrop, the things that were most important to me were: In addition, as I got into more and more serious relationships, I realized I wanted to be with someone who had a good example of loving parents because I did not have that when I was growing up. And you know, that was probably my smartest decision with respect to my husband.

I respect him, I love him, and I am in love with him. But the thing I appreciate about him the most aside from his pee-in-the-pants sense of humor is his ability to help me put things in perspective. As far as finances, we manage them together with a joint bank account. We have never argued about my work hours, the fact that I make more money than him, or anything else.

This warmed my heart. I am in the same situation and had started to panic reading all of these responses saying it could never work. Sounds like you know yourself, your values and what you bring to relationship. It really helps define what is going to work for you. So I am not surprised you are having an enviably successful relationship. But then the other part of me feels absolutely terrible in taking into account what my dating life might look like while analyzing a potential job opportunity!

Aria, as the year old lawyer who is still single and still working 12 hours a day, I can absolutely relate! And it is all about quality of life. Even if I am still single at 40 I would prefer to have a more balanced life where I can be a more consistent friend, daughter, sister, aunt, etc.

Oh, and also just be happier with myself due to a more balanced lifestyle. This was a major part of my own decision to leave Biglaw, only at that point I was already And you know, I might miss some of the big deals and the fun all-nighters and the hour weeks once in a while , but gee, it is awfully nice having hobbies again — and I have found a great BF with serious long-term potential.

So the decision was absolutely the right one for me. Ugh, I hear you! This was me before I met my husband. I have several cousins and sisters who are a complete mess and yet found men who loved them and they have very happy marriages.

I did need love and support and companionship just like everyone else. Chances are the fears are there and real and a good guy will be able to offer you real comfort. You are absolutely on the mark. Add in to the mix that it is hard to meet someone I would want to let my guard down with and it is all a bit frustrating. Thanks for the advice and encouragement though. This can bring out some of the more positive alpha-male qualities! You just described me to a T.

This reminds me of an old article crossposted on ATL. I feel you- the guys who tend to be interested in me are a unavailable, b losers, or c passive-aggressive jerks. I have a small group of single female friends, all of us near We figure the cost of living will be low there.

Seriously, I know where you are coming from. Yes, it would be nice to have a financial or emotional cushion in the form of an SO. I recently had a come-to-Jesus with myself re: Which I now realize may not actually be the case.

There were either perfectly nice boys, but boys nonetheless , or over-inflated douches. After 2 months of deleting almost all the emails, I met my now-fiance. What I did and still do love is that he has the amount of confidence and humility— no little-boy competitiveness or chest-beating arrogance. To me that is the ultimate alpha male; a guy who can be completely comfortable in his own skin.

Getting back to the earnings differential topic: He was making 6 figures and deciding whether he wanted to be a partner at his architecture firm or go out on his own. And when we decided to get married we also had the conversation about me being the stable earner and him building a business on his own.

The wait was worth it, for me. Not a bad outcome. Shared values to me are much more important than earnings. With all due respect for sanitation workers. The salary difference works for us, but because we had a number of honest conversations about our goals and dreams and this is what makes the most sense for us. This is the perfect reason not to marry.

I never believed I was putting career ahead of family — I really did want to get married and settle down — but I know when I was looking at law schools I had friends who were choosing schools based on where their S.

I wanted to be at the best school for me no matter where that was. At 33, my priorities are different and nothing means more to me than my marriage…that is, until kids show up in the next year or two. Another one here who has been told she is intimidating for all those reasons. Adding to the intimidation factor is my mixed ethnic background, which seems to scare off all but the married guys. I have always made more than my husband, sometimes significantly more up to 4x more , and it has never been an issue.

I grew up without money and knew I wanted financial security when I was grown up. So I went out and got it. Because I knew I would always be able to support myself I never had to worry about how much the men I dated made. If you have enough why on earth would you care what the guy makes? If you say you just believe a man should be able to support a family, then you need to think about what it is you really are looking for.

Imsges: benefits of dating someone your height

benefits of dating someone your height

This is very odd and would drive me crazy. Why is it said like that? This is the perfect reason not to marry.

benefits of dating someone your height

But he makes no money. How to Make Money Online. I wish I had more of your magic.

benefits of dating someone your height

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