Dear God, My Mother Has Alzheimer’s Disease, Please Help Her Die
For now, my boyfriend is able to reach him, and it is a beautiful and sad thing to see. I totally get where you are coming from. He chokes on his food and has started to get reoccuring chest infections due to him aspirating it.
Lifestyle is responsible for more than three quarters of changes in the brain, research suggests
I hope you have some support among your siblings, other family members and friends. Now the time has come and it seems like the end…She has given up and I am having trouble dealing with seeing her like this. Susan Sarandon, 71, looks hip in eyeglasses and a leather jacket as she cheers on New York Rangers Veteran actress Not Abbey with your teeth? It has given my sister, their primary caregiver, a chance to repay him for his patience and support with her over the years. I wish a lot she was still here just to hold and touch once more but not to have her live it that darkness. After seeing this disease slowly destroy my mother, I am pleading that she will be released from this prison of Hell called dementia. Your entire person, including your personality, the way you think and speak, what you wear, etc.
He always told me he never wanted to suffer when it was his time. I was relieved to see him comfortable in his hospital bed in a deep sleep surrounded by family because it was the way he had wanted to go, right? Mom and aunt insist on trying to feed him. For at least 3 years he has been wasting away on their couch. When I say he was comatose, I am not saying it lightly.
I asked her if they would give him a feeding tube if it got to that point and she screamed at me and basically told me to stay out of it. She is not emotionally prepared to answer questions to answers she should have asked herself 10 years ago when this all started. Is this wrong of me? Hi, my mother in law has vascular dementia, having had a couple of strokes a few years ago..
She halluncinated before, got agitated, but was basically ambulatory with help. Now she is weak and bedridden but the hallucinations are gone. She can hold a conversation but is very weak.
One doctor told us the hallucinations might lessen as the brain continued degenerating. Has anybody experienced this? Thanks everyone for sharing there experiences. Hi Simon, Thank you so much for reading my blog and for your comment. I know so many of us can relate to your feelings…I hope you can forgive yourself at some point.
On some level, I believe your Mum knew you were doing what you could at the time. Take care of yourself. Wishing you peace, Nancy. Listen all of you posting onhere. I say to all of you. Be thankful you have a mother cause once shes gone you will be very very sorry and sad! Enjoy all the time you can with them until their last breath, as it will surely come. Calling people selfish who are suffering watching their parents suffering is cruel.
Yes, God will take her in His own time, but you have no right to judge others so harshly either. He refuses to eat or drink and the doctors cannot do anything for him at this point. Having to call family members has been very hard on me.
Has anyone experienced this before? He is a fighter but this battle is taking us all down. He had to retire from his law firm 14 years ago and I have been his only caretaker. He has gone through a pile of stages and now he lives with all of them. Of course, dementia is by far the champ of all. I have been suffering so much it is unbelievable. I want him to die.
There must be a right for people who see that there is no hope and only worsening problems to help these people die sooner. It is not right that this terrible situation destroys innocent people who are the caretakers.
What crime did I commit??? I want my husband to die and that is because I am human. I have the right to survive. This monster of an illness is killing me, as well. I am not evil. I have been doing my best but who is there for me?? I now have all kinds of injuries and aches and who cares?
My apologies if anyone is offended by my post but this is how it is, I have not been able to find any other reference to this problem, I need help for my own sanity. My 98 year old mom had vascular dementia. Very forgetful, would get agitated and could no longer walk and was in diapers. She was in a wheelchair.
He had multiple mini strokes, each one causing more damage. Oddly enough, she was up reading her newspaper 2 weeks before she died. Not sure she understood all she read.
Then all of a sudden she refused to eat. I would try and make her faborite foods but she wanted none of it. She had no food or water for 9 days. Would also choke on water, even drops I tried to give her. She had arthritis pain and could not even turn by herself over in the bed. She also had a no code, do not resusitate order.
Being an RN, I never took her to the hospital, never had testing, MRIs and knew my mom wanted to always die in her home. My thinking was, what is the hospital going to be able to do for my mother?
I got hospice onboard for end stage dementia…. We told each other we loved each other and I had Hospice start the Morphine. She went with me holding her hand. Hardest thing I ever had to watch. Get Hospice for your mom. My mom so wanted to make it to At 98 she almost made it.
She died last year and I miss her. I can relate morevto u than others. I am having huge trouble coping.. I took care of my mother till she died yesterday I was usually pretty attentive in the daytime but at nite when the sundowners kicked in, I was short and screamed at her. She was clean and well groomed and I often rubbed her back for comfort. I cut her hair and did her nails, toes, bed changes and baths. I just did not have same patience at nite as daytime because I was tired and worried about bills, family etc.
She lived with me.. I provided a medical bed, bedside toilet and all the anemities of home.. She would not eat and knowing she would die without food, that mostly was my frustration as she became frail and lost over lbs as I watched. When I went to bathroom, or even to get mail, she would scream where are you. I had no time to myself at all and when I did it costs me so much. Early on, before she was bedridden, she would pout and cause me so much stress before I left that I stopped telling her to avoid leaving in a beaten up state of mind.
I obsessed with watching her on cameras in my absence and worrying about her. I thought I was losing my mind so many times, I just broke down and cried. She just suddenly passed yesterday.. She did not want to be alone or die alone. As she was in pain all of a sudden, I called nurses and doctor who came to house and while I was sitting talking to them in other room when she finally died. She had begged me not to let her die in a hospital so that was my main concern.
I sat with her day and nite but I was absorbed in my own life and because she had demencia just did not get into crazy conversations with her feeling they would be meaningless.
We r in that same situation with my elderly parent. She cant open a package of saltines but every time she gets sick they give her every treatment known to man to keep her going. So she can wind up in a nursing home? At this point, my family has no life taking care of her either. For the past 20 years, all we have done is taken care of an elderly parent while the other siblings enjoy life.
Soory to be a crabapple. My mother has gone mad, we have placed my grandmother in a home after she fell down. She feels this ultimate guilt. Today at the home, my grandmother had an accident and it took them an hour to change her. She had other accidents throughout the day but they only changed her once! How are we so indifferent as humans? I am sure we have lost our humanity.
Like what is wrong with us? My family will never recover from this, and the indifference displayed by humanity toward this disease makes me so angry. You work your whole life, you go to school and your parents support you. You either abandon your own life and children or you take care of them.
If their disease is bad and they get violent… they might injure you! This disease is deadly and so is indifference. I agree with Hillary on here, we need to support each other and sign petitions.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this disease is genetic! The fight is NOT over once your loved one passes from the disease. You and your children are vulnerable! We must band together just like Breast Cancer Awareness families do. There are 5 million people in the U. So please, lets fight this! With this, there is hope. My grandfather is 98 years old, he turns 99 in Novemeber.
His house has become his personal potty. My mum has lost weight, and she never sleeps anymore more than an hour. We tried to get assistance but since my grandfather owns a house, he cannot receive any help. I have a little sister who never sees our mum anymore. My mum and papa never see each other either anymore. Sometimes I get so depressed seeing how others do not care and my family suffers so much while the others in my family have no care for the situation.
But, seeing all this makes me want to. People make all the effrort when its too late, and they never came to visit when they were alive. Despite all of this I know I love my grandfather, but I hate to see him suffer in this way. How it not only affects one person, but so many others around them. I wish more help could be given to families with loved one who suffer from the disease. At the moment there is little to no hope for us. Children should have to take care of their parents in some way not just ignore their condition.
I do not believe that they should leave all the work on one person. That is entirely disgraceful. I know one day we will be closer to achieving these wishes. I pray for everyone going through a similar experience.
I feel so guilty. And it breaks my heart.. She is getting much worse. She asked me who I was today and it crushed me. She is in good physical health. I pray God will take her soon so her suffering is over.. Such a cruel disease. My mom is 93 with short term memory, declining, I take care of her. This is the hardest thing anyone of ever do. An you are like a prisoner in your own home, it has put a strain on my marriage, life style, everything. To read your stories is uplifting, an strength for me.
I am not alone. How do you get to that forgiveness?? I profess to be a believer, yet I still fall every day. I have to ask for forgiveness every day. So many of you say the same. I pray for all of us. God bless you all. Thank you for posting this. Definitely speaks to what we are going through right now. It is horrible and there is no happy ending in store for mom. It is good to not feel that we alone. I share this agony with you all. But why does nobody mention the added nightmare of limited money with which to pay for care?
They only help you if you have almost nothing! I am just the daughter in law. My life is consumed by her needs. My own health is in decline am I am Your family has to come first. Guilt can be powerful. You all still can give to humanity. They would if they could. Why do we feel the need to let our elderly suffer so much in their last years and just sit back and watch. Why dont we do the same thing for our loved ones. I have discussed this with my very ill mother and she knows if she cant take any more, to ask me to put an end to her life — and I will do so.
I have researched many ways of doing this and have decided on what I will actually do, and am ready and willing to do so. This would be considered murder by our legal system. Barbara, I was very moved to read your post on dating dementia.
Very brave of you. It will be oral, and end her ordeal and let her carry on to the happier spiritual path that awaits her. I hope your mission was carried out. I feel the same way. I want to be put down when my time comes. I do not want to be the burden to my kids or anyone, like my mother is to me. I feel very strongly about this. Today, for the first time I experienced this! I guess its the first stages of something that we are not prepared for.
Mom was hallucinating and saying her time was here, she had received her calling. Her heart, bloodpressure and breathing were normal. She kept saying it was time. My mother had a stroke 3 years ago, left her paralyzed and trouble speaking. She says she is so tired and is ready to go. She cries out to us and all we can do is hold her hand, massage her head or her neck and let her know we are here for her and that she is safe.
It breaks my heart to see her when she has these episodes. She is given medication to calm her down. I will pray for you and your mom. I know exactly what you mean but my mom gets violent physically along with the screaming. My father was a minister and I have a hard time understanding why my Godly woman has to suffer so. She had lived 91 years and is so ready to go to be with God and my dad but now she hardly remembers him. Gix bless and be with you your family and mother. I am so conflicted about wishing that my beloved mother would be allowed to pass away.
She was the center of our family and is now in a late stage of Alzheimers but in reasonably good physical health. This is the very saddest end of life scenario — thanks to all for the honesty. Now the big question is how will our medical and legal communities help us with this? Who will help us? There is no joy, no pleasure, no comprehension for our beoved parents. Maybe we need to lobby the states to allow assisted suicide. I know some states already do. I lost my father last year.
Have a advance directive and a post form done. I am living this nightmare again now with my mother in law. Family dumped her here. They knew I would care for her and I will. They just want her money. Seems like it always comes down to that.
My mother took care of my dad for over 8 years until he passed. She widowed at the age of 32 with 2 girls. She took care of her mother for about 3 years until she passed. My mother now 72 and has had dementia about 4 years. We grew up worshipping the Lord. Dad always said he would rather be sick and know the lord like he knows him than not know the lord without sickness.
My faith is soo weak I have cursed the lord. My mother is the last person on this earth that deserves this suffering. I am her caregiver. I can handle the dementia. What i can not handle is the sadness she feels day in and day out. Always crying Wanting to go home. I tell her We are home and the only other home is the heavens above and the good lord must not be ready to bring you home.
I do have faith in God and have sent up similar prayers for my Dad with dementia. I believe why they still live is because God has some purpose. In our case it has brought our family close as we take turns care giving. It has given my sister, their primary caregiver, a chance to repay him for his patience and support with her over the years. Maybe in your case you will find God in all this.
I pray for you too. My mom went through many of the different situations you all discribe and yet I know feel a bit of comfort in your agonizing accounts. God knows, many was the night I sat up struggling with the thought of wishing for my mother to pass on and being a bit disappointed when she showed a little improvement.
What a horrible daughter I was and all along my friends and even my mothers friends would tell me what a good daughter I was. It was a tough pill to swallow. To be so selfish as to think I could phone in my request to God and he would fill that request that was not mine to make. In a twisted way the request for your parents to pass on comes from the most profound love that IS. It was like living out an after life with someone paying for their sins.
It was Gods call and once I stopped begging and pleading and just showed up everyday and just was there for her no matter her mood towards me and praying everyday for her, he granted her the ultimate gift of PEACE that she had never had in this life. We all will take one on our way out of this lifetime and I think our suffering is what gets us to heaven faster and how we suffer.
My mom knows now and it was hell but I sit in the knowledge of that experience and I hope one day maybe I can help unburden someone else who must go through it. God bless all of you and your parents and family who are taking that journey. I hope is that it ends peacefully for you all. I know exactly what you went through. Please Pray For My Mother.
She is 89 and in her few brief moments she has of clarity each day says how she hates being bedridden and how humiliating it is to have me tend to her very personal needs. Yet as LKB said I feel like a horrible person praying for my mom to die even if it will end her suffering, but I do it anyway, and I guess I just have to keep doing it until….
I appreciate everyone being so honest here. I need to express my feelings. I visited my mom today in the nursing home, she has dementia and heart problems. Last week it seemed like she might pass soon, she was short of breath and sleeping more. I visited today and she seemed a little better sitting up and talking. I was actually angry that she seemed better, which I feel so guilty about. But when I came home I was consumed with dark thoughts. I took a walk which helped get some of the foul energy out of me, but the anger and the guilt are still lingering.
This feels like it will never end, the poor dear is wasting away, how long can this go on? I guess I have a different view. Although my mom suffers from dementia, I believe she is still with me and aware. I too have faced challenges, admit this roller coaster of emotions, but I can see the disease from a different perspective.
Nancy, thank you for writing what many of us are thinking. My almost 85 year old Dad is in the advanced stages of dementia. I pray every day for a quick soft landing for him and anyone else affected by this.
In the meantime we can be the best advocates we can for them and make sure they are treated with respect and dignity. Thank you for such an honest account — caring for someone with dementia is a bit like having a newborn and feeling like the worst mother in the world when everyone else seems to be managing brilliantly. For those out there who are coping well and are constantly able to find endless supplies of love and tolerance I salute you but sometimes it really helps to have a bit of brutal honesty and for someone to tell it like it is.
My mum is still young only 64 and physically robust but she is deteriorating rapidly from a mental capacity point of view. It seems highly likely that her body will carry on with the daily task of living long after her mind has gone.
I am sure that I too will get into this vicious cycle of resenting her then feeling desperately guilty for it. We need to look after our carers much much better.
Dear Nancy, Dad and I just visited Mom at the nursing home today, soon to ne our 5th Christmas at the home.
I ask myself what is the point. She was hurting so bad and it broke my heart. I felt so helpless. I too pray that she will soon be released, and yet I know it will be terrible because my family will mourn this secondary loss. I now ask for help understanding why Mom lingers. I pray it is peaceful and that she goes quietly in her sleep.
It would be selfish of me to wish for another day. Please God wherever you are , take her by the hand to be at your side. God forgive me but last night I totally lost it with my mum. I can deal with all aspe ts of her care but dealing with some of the most personal hygiene issues is sometimes more than i can deal with.
Yesterday I had a battle with a 81 year old toddler who woud not sit on the loo but kept walking round the bathroom, leaving mess on floors and walls to clear up. This battle went on for over an hour and I was so drain that I went to bed at 9pm without eating again.
I have suicidal thoughts most days and wish for either her or me to be dead. I know when she finally goes I will be riddled with guilt. Dear Nina, my Mum 89 with Alzheimer, we live together for the last 3years. I have a brother who refused to get involved in his mother condition even he said it clearly not to come to visit!
Also, I have a sister 5minutes away from us, but she comes and goes according to her feelings! I write now from the kitchen at 2: No medication, no reliefs, but a night mares every nights. I too prayed for God to take her out from her and my suffering and into His mercy.
I forgot to tell you I am at my 64 and start to loosing it too. I can relate to anyone who is tired of taking care of their parent with this disease. My mom is 93 and has later stages of dementia. She had a moment last night saying she is dying and maybe she had a anxiety attack.
She is pretty healthy for the most part. She does not drink enough fluids. She hates water and the only fluid she will take is tea. I tried to encourage her but I am tired too! She does have a good appetite though. I am on an emotional roller coaster ride. My husband is not emotionally supportive and probably because it has taken a lot from our lives and what can I do. These are the hard times and you need support from your spouse. I am the only child and my older brother lives out of state and my children have a lot with their family.
I only pray I can get through this and I make the right choices and yes I will probably have guilt and I just hope it is short lived. Hang In There to everyone going through this and God Bless! My 78 year old mother has severe dementia. During her time in hospital she refused to eat or drink so was not going to survive much longer, we were told she had 48 hours to live.
Unfortunately, she was returned to the care home where they have spent many hours cajoling her to take Complan. I am angry that the care home staff did not allow her to slip away peacefully. I am angry that last week I said goodbye to her but there will be no funeral. It is a living hell. Have you tried calling an Hospice Organization to see if they offer any Social Workers that may be able to offer you support during these very difficult times.
They are a very companionate group. And may be able to give you information and even some time for yourself if your the primary caregiver. They were very helpful to me in a similar compasity. I understand very well the experiences you may go through, as I have been in a similar situation not only with one person.
And at that point I would feel just as angry and frustrated. If there is a God do you think he will listen your selfish heart to aliviate not your moms situation but your own inability to deal with her situation because it has become a shame and a burden in your life?
We selfish creatures think its only about our own perspective. What if instead of praying for her death, you pray for her soul to be at peace to be forgiven by God and you to forgive her. I never thought I would say this, but, I wish she would go already. Rid herself of these daily struggles and burdens to her and everyone around her. This is NOT who she wanted to become.
This is NOT my mother. I guess I too, like Nancy, pray for the end. When will it be? She has lost most of her functions. She constantly asks why this strange man is following her. Her brain is mush. She is aggressive and mean. This is not how my mother wanted to live her life.
She has been very vocal about her fears of this disease even before diagnosis and has openly said if this were to ever happen to her, let her GO. My sister is tired. My father is tired. I want to run far away and never look back.
But then I also want to be there for her till the end. But then I want to remove myself from this horrible situation. I feel crazy, just like my mom. I am tired and exhausted. And thank you for allowing me to express my own. I could not have expressed my feelings, identical to yours any better!! Caregiver live-in , to my 76 year old mom with Dementia and Copd. Thanks so much for sharing and saying the things that are hard to say.
There is no way my mom would want to live like she is not knowing her family and needing complete care. We talked about this years ago. I am beside myself dealing with the memory care staff that calls her cute. She was never cute — she was a confident woman who very much loved her family.
They act like they know her better than I do. They only know her ill…. I feel so much of what you shared here — — except the hate. She too would not want to live like this, but we have no choice. She has been transferred to a behavioral hospital to get her meds adjusted — they keep adjusting and it lasts for a day or so and then here we go again.
Once it sticks she will return to the nursing home where we finally had to make the horrible decision to take her a couple of months ago. Thankfully so far she has not realized where she is it seems. I use the excuse that I have to let my puppy out which is true , but not necessarily right then.
We pray daily that there will be a cure or some kind of help for this awful disease. Bless all of you that are there for your parent. I love my mom very, very much and it breaks my heart to see her changing the way she is due to this incurable illness. We sit and talk to her about dementia but she refuses to believe there is anything wrong. She can no longer be left alone at night, so my sister and I rotate weeks and thankful for our caregiver that comes during the day. Just like most of you, I find myself talking to God and let him know we love her very much and to please keep her painless and peaceful.
Thank you everyone for your postings you are a tremendous amount of help in preparing for the hard times ahead. I know our family is not alone and will continue to reach out to you all.
Thank you Gloria — — this is exactly where we are with my mom…maybe a little further. She is not talking to dolls, rocking them and trying to feed them. My dad wants to keep her home with him as long as he can and refuses to have someone come in to sit with her to give him a break.
He is 81 and mom is Dad is not in the best of health — so I worry about him as well. But the majority of the time, she is in another world and has no idea who we are.
Sometimes she gets angry and we try to keep that under control. Sometimes my playing the piano will calm her, other times she wants nothing to do with me. I try to change the subject and sometimes that is helpful as well. It is helpful to know you are not the only one dealing with this as sad as that is. So no matter how difficult our times are, we still have to trust that God is in control. I understand how you feel. I wonder when the time comes will I mourn his passing?
It seems like he is already gone to me. It is so hard to understand what we are going thru as children of a Dementia parent. You are filled with so many emotions.. Before putting my mom into. She hated me and my kids. We cared for her the best we could for three years…. I sometimes resent her because I lost my youngest daughters years I had no support from my siblings…They blamed me. Now the time has come and it seems like the end…She has given up and I am having trouble dealing with seeing her like this.
I am filled with guilt over not being there. I put her in a HM near my brother so he could visit but he always has an excuse.
I have three kids,he has none and is on third marriage…. The thought of going to the nursing home puts me in a panic…I have anxiety over it. I cared for her for three years. Now its my bros turn. What do I do? The thought of going there makes me faint. I love my mom but want to remember years ago,not the past years with this disease…and even now. I know I have to take care of myself for my kids. I am useless when over whelmed and full of anxiety.
I also have a dad that has dementia. He is 91 and his dementia is getting worse every day. I wish i could say that all he has is dementia but not true. He has diabetes, vascular disease, Congestive Heart Failure, Ulcers that turned into gangrene and infection. He was so healthy up until He was still able to stay by himself when we were at work.
But I had to fix breakfast, lunch and dinner and he did really good for 2 years and then in June, things started happening along with his dementia. I feel so bad for him…He also is hard of hearing. Its been a nightmare for me. Thank God for my husband who supports me with my Dad and tries to help when he can. He never calls and never came to visit. He is going to regret it. I thank God you have taken care of me.
But now its too hard to take care of him and the doctors said he should go into a nursing home to eventually pass away. I would have to hire 3 caregivers. He has gotten louder and louder and yells a lot.
My husband and I would never get any sleep anymore. I feel so bad for him and so guilty. I love him so much and going to miss him. I know its getting close. Its so sad to watch him. He says he is not ready to die yet which makes it harder. We all have hard choices to make with our parents. Yes dear friend I can observe the agony and the pain that you are going through.
My mother had Alzeimher s whcih was a terrible experience for me. I kept her and managed her. Being a doctor by proffession but the hopes gradually diminished and I knew the end that devastated me from within.
Dear friend every time watching her made me miserable as I knew that one fine day there is an end to the road for her. I can understand your apprehension as to what next and I can express it that the end has to come either today or the next day. Actually taking care for such a patient is a Herulean task and the worst is that no cure has been deviced yet. I prayed for her with tears but it didnt work.
She was previously very healthy best mom ever! Why would God do this? I am 27 and have no career, no life, no friends, no children no husband and all I can do Is be mad about why my mother was taken so early when she was perfectly healthy but this ok lady is kicking.? Kristina, Thank you so much for coming to my blog and for the comment. I am sending good thoughts your way…caregiving is such a difficult experience. I hope you have people to talk to and can vent your feelings.
Losing your mom so suddenly and now having to care for her mother — I understand how you feel that is so unfair. Nothing about this terrible disease is fair. I was about your age when my sister and niece were tragically killed in a car accident. My sister was age 40 and my niece was only I can understand you questioning g why your Mom died so young, and you feel that you have no life. Let me reassure you that you do have a life! The situation with your grandmother is temporary.
Yes, you are still young and there is plenty of life left … Take comfort that everything that you love about your sweet mother is hidden or inherent in your grandmother. I loved my grandmother and I now care for my 95 y o Mom. It might help you to either talk to a therapist or a social worker. You are dealing with some anger that your Mom is now gone, leaving you to be the caregiver.
There are resentment feelings, which I understand. There really are people who are … And I bet that some of your Moms friends would offer you their support if you will reach out to them. We all need people who care in our lives. Please reach out to some professionals and trust me; you will have friends, and many people do care!
Reach out for the help and blog about it. Reach out for a professional to help you cope with your feelings. But last year, she fell in the bathroom and broke her hip and our lives have changed ever since. Even though her surgery was successful, mom had lost all motivation to get back on her feet again.
Her physiotherapy was and still is being marred by her progressing dementia. She is basically bed-ridden now. Now she is completely dependent on us for everything. Recently, she has stopped opening her eyes. She keeps her eyes closed even while eating and keeps sleeping most of the time. Like some of you, I feel confused about what to pray for.
I still pray for her to be at peace but silently wish for God to ease her misery and call her peacefully. Please pray for her…. Benzer, the signs your mother is exhibiting sleeping all the time, eating with eyes closed, etc.. My grandmother was like that a few before she passed away. All you can do is pray that she die a peaceful and happy death.
If you are Catholic, call a priest to give her last rites. Dear Nancy My mum died last year after 7 years of living with Lewybodies dementia.
I cared for her all that time and was terrified by my anger and hardness on occasions, although like some of the people above laughed and loved her as well. I have been tormented with guilt since about the times when I was beside myself with exhaustion and was impatient and cross. All those who have written their deepest dark thoughts and who expeienced exactly the same challenges as me have been a tremendous support and I am so grateful for their honesty.
I genuinely thought it was only me who wished my mother would die peacefully in her sleep. Mum had a lovely quiet and peaceful death and 8 months later I can talk to her in my head as I feel now she is whole again and with God. I know she would absolutely forgive me and I hope other people will know the same. Thank you Nancy for letting us all tell it like it is for us. Bless you and all who have written! As caregivers we have all been in that situation — I understand completely. Sending good thoughts your way and do stay in touch.
The healing process takes a very, very long time…. I know my friends are sick and tired of hearing me complain. My husband, son, and daughter are also tired of listening to my daily problems involving my aging parents. She no longer knows me or my siblings, can hardly see, and needs care for every task, from being fed, clothed, bathed, put to bed, etc. My Dad was her caregiver for the last few years, but now he, too, has developed dementia and heart problems among other things. He yells at my Mom, stomps his feet and refuses to eat what the caregiver cooks, he verbally abuses the caregivers two have quit already and the third, after only one week, is complaining about his abusive behavior.
I order their groceries, pay their bills, fill their respective pill boxes for the caregivers, and receive almost daily phone calls from either my sister or a caregiver about what is going on in the house usually bad news. My Mom has been sick and in and out of rehab facilities since , mostly from falls, although now she is in a wheelchair. My Dad has been hospitalized five times since mid-April. Like the original comment, I find myself praying, not for a cure, but for God to take them.
I find myself losing compassion and gaining resentment. Then, of course, I feel guilty for having those thoughts. I want to help when I can, but this has completely taken over my life and is negatively affecting every aspect of my life — my marriage, my relationship with my children, my social life, and my job have suffered.
Oh Liz, I so feel for you and send you my best thoughts. It really would be helpful for YOUR own wellbeing. Hang in there and feel free to check in when you need to do so. You can connect with me personally at nwurtzel yahoo. Please take care of yourself…if someone has not caregiven they really do not understand so look elsewhere for support. Sending you a hug. Hey everyone, I need help. Please please do reply and tell me what I am doing wrong and how am I suppose to cope. Martin Chilton selects 30 great one-liners from the comedian and film star Woody Allen.
Stunning aerial shots of London's football stadia by photographer Jason Hawkes. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation. Tuesday 13 March Woody Allen's 30 best one-liners. Comedy Martin Chilton selects 30 great one-liners from the comedian and film star Woody Allen.
The best British political insults. Culture A hilarious history of political insults and putdowns, from Churchill to Corbyn. Culture stars who died in Culture News We celebrate and remember the culture stars who have passed away in Books Great quotes from White House incumbents: Comedy One hundred whip-smart wisecracks.
History's greatest conspiracy theories. Grand stand views of London. Russia's abandoned space shuttles. The crumbling remains of the Soviet Union's space programme.
Ambitious Chinese inventors take on crazy do-it-yourself projects. Sinkholes around the world. Sinkholes, craters and collapsed roads around the world.
Imsges: avoiding dating dementia
There really are people who are … And I bet that some of your Moms friends would offer you their support if you will reach out to them. This will help to quickly identify problematic behavior. It also leads to 70 per cent fewer instances of diabetes, heart disease and stroke compared to people who followed none of the tips.
Dating is a kind of due diligence. My mother now 72 and has had dementia about 4 years.
I cared for her for three years. Dating gives you the opportunity to ask a ton of questions, and asking questions is the number one thing that daters need to learn to do. No siblings to share avoiding dating dementia journey avoiding dating dementia. I am thinking about getting hospice in to help her and me in this difficult time. She is 89 and in her few brief moments she has of clarity each day says how she hates avoiding dating dementia bedridden and how humiliating it is to have me tend to her very personal needs. I was relieved to see him comfortable radioisotope of carbon used in carbon dating his hospital bed in a deep sleep surrounded by family because it was the way he had wanted to go, temple dating
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