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Deep inside, she really wants it to be this way. This has always been over something that he has said to me or the way he has treated me but then it has always turned around to be my fault. So it was hard the first two weeks, i missed him. I hate being controlled.

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So what next then, hey a good old smack. Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship. Oh man, this is so true. They're the largest generation so far, and they influence everything from fashion trends to office layouts. But you must also watch out for the sirens. And again the pastor was a very dynamic person, so yes I do evaluate pastors in this same manner.

If your partner possesses even one of these features, there is risk in the relationship. More than three of these indicators and you are involved with a Controller in a very high risk relationship that will eventually create damage to you. When a high number of these features are present, it. A Controller will hurt you on purpose.

Male Controllers often begin with behaviors that move you physically or hit the wall. Female Controllers often slap, kick, and even punch their male partners when upset. Quick Attachment and Expression: The Controller has very shallow emotions and connections with others. One of the things that might attract you to a Controller is how quickly he or she says,. Hi everyone, I just read the info from the website that was posted and I wish I could have read it eight long years ago.

My boyfriend, who just walked out on me this past monday fot the fourth time in eight years, was all but one of those red flags. Believe it or not, but even the waitress test wich occured in the first month of our dating.

He is gone now but I am sure he thinks I will take him back as I have done so many times in the past. But I have news for him, I will not. He has abused me emotionally in such a severe and intense way that I am now scarred. I will most likely have to seek couseling. Please, everyone, read the information it is there to help you.

It made me feel like shit. He also is never, ever wrong. We have been dating for two and a half years…. To meagan, yes, even though he comes through as a nice guy, he still is in control.

He has you doing most everything including most of all supporting him. He is pretty sly that way because he knows that if being a nice guy is all it take for a free ride than why not. To me, he seems to be displaying true signs of someone who has what is called dependent personality disorder. You should research this on the web. However, he does not seem to be a good match for you.

Most people with this type of beavior usually never amount to much without proffessional help. You are better off finding someone who is more compatible with you. You seem to be a pleaser but this is not good when it is all one sided. When it is like this you become the enabler, allowing him to continue his dependent behaviors.

Maybe a break up I what he needs to go get some help and who knows maybe you both can get back together but under diffferent and better circumstances. Good luck and feel free to write back. I have been in a relationship for 11 years, we have a 6 year old son together. He uses my son as an excuse to get to me. I asked him to move out 2 years ago.

We sort of got together again because I went out and had one too many and it was his opportunity to have sex. Now if I refuse sex he gets mad and slams things, burns out and tells me there is something wrong with me, I am 42 years old and have many responsibilities…. How am I going to stop this, he and his mother make so many degrading remarks to me. I have my own home and I am raising my son by myself. He goes out whenever he wants and goes on trips and lives with his mother. If i go out he is calling my cell phone and wants to meet me probably to take advantage of me.

He rarely takes our son, he lives with his mother and keeps his other son but not ours. I want to go for custody and child support but I am afraid. Am I wrong for not giving in? Hi, My boyfriend is nice an caring , but when he gets angry he gets very quite and if I ask him why he is quite he starts saying rude things to me which he is aware will hurt my feelings, any decision I make is not good enough and have to keep him aware of all the places am going or people am meeting.

If he is in a good mood then I need to be in a good mood.. I know he loves me a lot and I too love him we intend to get married soon.. He is not marriage material. It will only get worse once he thinks he owns you with a piece of paper that states you are his wife.

A marriage is based on trust and is a fifty fifty commitment. This guy does not posess any of these features or abilities. We have lived together for a year and a half but we are very controlling of eachother.

Meaning, no personal space at all. If we are at work, we still are on the phone. It was not controlling at first but as time went on, it just got worse. Even for how unhappy we are, we still stay together.

One glance is okay but if he takes a second look or stares, I get mad. That will trigger his short fuse and we will be in a fight all day because of it. The smallest thing will create a big fight all day. The fight just builds and builds until we are so angry at eachother.

He smokes weed throughout the day and when he doesnt smoke it, he seems like a different person. Someone so pissed off at life. I love him and he tells me he loves me too.

We will never be able to give eachother personal space. Should I worry about how he smokes weed all the time? Am I in the wrong? Do you think this would ever lead to happiness? Thank you for your help. Oh and girls talk to ur bf let him know how u really feel not what he wants to hear. IF you get a bf do not fall far the I care about you so much story or the things of my past i can not make it without you.

I had to look at the floor when another guy walked passed me or if i went out with friends and family he yelled at me like where were you why did you not tell me anything. He always tried to bring things up from the past it is one of the many mind games they play. He had me so up his rump i did not care for my feelings anymore or friends or family just his. When you feel like you have someone trying to control your life. End that relationship run for help, i am now changing my cell and house number and i had to delete my internet sites is that said or what.

Keep your mind open because mine we worked at the same job even after that we would go to his house i would stay over there from 9: All to keep me under his control make me feel so sorry for him. I gave him the most important thing that belonged to me that was my virginity. I am 20 but you know i was saving that tell marriage but i thought we would but he just got to controlling and i loved him at the time.

Just one day i had enough so i broke my ties with him and split up and i am glad where never going to get back together.

What if you are the controlling boy friend? Or you see the signs of them within you, but you dont want to be controlling… it really is not that easy…. Just be tough and leave! No texting, driving by his house or anything! Last night i just left a controlling short term relationship. I had a quarter tank of gas and when he left with friend and surprisingly let me stay behind after an argument….. I left all my clothes! He was call me ou my name, saying i was disrespectful and out of pocket and a car hoppin ho!!!!!!!

That was the last straw…im not living life with my head down no more. I feel lost to have to start over again!! They have no shame in controlling you. They enjoy seeing you unhappy whick makes themselves feel happy and superior over you becuase they are so insecure. Wow did i waste my time atleast I learned from it though! I made the decision of not having kids with him. Thank god i didnt! During the divorce he got some girl pregnant becuase he wanted a kid so bad!

If you obey their every command whyt would they want to change? By the time you ask them to change its too late they have no repect for you anymore and dont see the benefit of it for them,. If you cant see your self just leaving him cold turkey then start standing up to him and push his buttons.

They will become unhappy and not like you anymore and will end up cheating on you or leave you once this happens especially if there not getting sex from you. I know from experience!

You girls can have so much more. There are too many men out there to stick with one pathetic loser!!! If any one needs advice i can help. I am no psychiatrist I just experience this tramatic situation like you all! I am a 38 year old woman, and I have been in an abusive type relationship since January Of the 10 signs I have experienced at 9 of them, this guy has even admitted that he hit two of his former girlfriends but defended himself by saying that one got him upset cause she was hitting at him and the other was just nagging him.

He admitted that he has problems with his father and that has messed him up. He has also accused me of being with other guys which I am not, and I have told him on numerous occasions. He blames me for everything, even stuff that he does and always makes everything about him, never me.

I have not been out here in awhile. Usually I post information in-order to help others. Today I would like to post something with the hope that one of you could give me your input regarding my situation. The situation is as follows:. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 8 years. For all of these years except for the past 58 days, he was an alcohol and cocaine user. During that time I endured the worst verbal and emotional abuse that I have ever witnessed. Although he has never layed a hand on me, the scars from this type of abuse run very deep.

Most of this abuse occurred when he was coming down from his high, not when he was high. This behavior occured approx. During these 8 years he left me three times, leaving me very depressed. I honestly felt as though I could not go on without him. This resulted in my taking him back each time, on his terms.

Not realizing how good I had it when he was out of my life, I began to become miserable once I took him back. Following the third time that we got back together, I decided that I would make everything perfect with the intention to compensate for what he was doing wrong. I had this delusional belief that I was strong enough, smart enough, kind enough to make this relationship work on my own. I believed that I could fix him. Well as time went on things seemed to be getting worse. He started to party more and more and his abuse got worse and worse until finally he just upped and left again in july of this year.

At that point I decided to go on with my life and I did. I registered for some classes at college and started going out with my friends. This resulted in a happiness that I have not felt in years. I finally was beginning to find out who I was. Then the unexpected happened. He contacted me with a sincere story about how he joined alcoholics anonymus.

He said he was doing wonderful and asked if I would support him with this by giving him a chance. I gave it some thought and being the caring person that I am, I decided to see him once a week. He told me that he wanted to show me the nice guy that he really is, not the one masked by addictions. He went on to explain that his cruel behaviors were not those of his real personality, but those of a person who was badly addicted to drugs and alcohol.

That was 56 days ago which was 3 days into his sobriety. Currently his is still sober, attending all of his meetings, sometimes even two and three meetings per day. He is catching up on all of his outstanding depts and looks and feels so much better. So now your probably thinking: Although these traits are not as severe as they once were, they are still there. For example, when he is angry he says things that are hurtfull, he doesnt listen to what I have to say, and worst of all he is just as cold and unaffectionate as he always was.

In other words, he has difficulty with intimacy. The good thing is that I no longer live with him and I only see him once a week. What makes this a difficult situation is that he is very good to me in other ways that he never was. He is helpful financially and does take me out to fun places.

The problem is that I think about leaving him because of his abusive outbursts however, I often worry that this will set him back leading him to relapse with drinking and drugging. I just dont want this on my conscience but on the same token, I dont want to waste my time with someone who has abusive tendencies. I believe that he has some issues that only a proffessional counselor can help him with. I wish that he could understand that AA is only the bandaid that is used to cover the emotional wounds that provoked him to start using in the first place but it will not get to the root of the problem inorder to begin the healing process.

I dont think he quite understands that people resort to addictions in order to cushion the pains of underlieing problems. I worry because now that his addictions are being dealt with, he is left with those underlieing problems that are beginning to surface, causing the same type of abusive behavior.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Out of all thes signs only 10, 5, 4, 2 and 1 can be considered right with number 5 being exactly right and the others just partially right. My boyfriends does everthing on that list. I keep telling him he needs to change and he says he will but so far no changes.

I cant take it anymore im about to explode. My family keep telling me to leave him and to have no more to do with him, but i love him and once agagin im stuck. At first, he seemed sweet.

And The last time I tried to he told me he was going to show up at my school. I hate him so much but love him at the same time. Im so sick of fighting that i just try and do what he wants of me now.. This is also something he does that bothers me also..

He embarrases me infront of My friends a causes a huge seen so ill listen to him so he gets his way and then he says that i embarres him!!! Were engaged and supposed to get married and get are own place next year but if he doesnt change then i dont think its gonna work out…..

After reading the above signs I feel like i have some of these traits unfortunately. I have been cheated on, lied to, and hurt in past relationships which have made me a bit insecure and a tad bit on edge about trust issues.

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost six months now and I really love her. There are a few things she has done that has started to put flags up in my head of her cheating and etc and her friends do things that are just troublesome.

She lied about going to her friends boyfriends house when she said she did not even want to go over there, this guys house has had cops in it for drugs and etc. She is about to be 21 and her friends are all ready planning to get fake i. She also has a lot of guy friends on facebook myspace and etc, her friends date multiple guys from those sites, and she has received phone calls late at night aand messages on websites like when are we going to hang out etc.

I want to get some suggestions as to how i could be a better guy for her, more trusting, less worried,I do not want to loose her. I want her to want to be with me, enjoy the time we share and be more intimate not so much as entercourse but holding hands and etc. My instincts were telling me not to get involved in the beginning,but i didnt take heed of them.

They chip away at who you are,til you become like a ghost of who you were,but its frightening because its hard to see it at the time. You want to believe that they are good people really,but i dont think they can truly change until they open their eyes to the hurt and pain they cause others. I think the thing that really shocks me is i nearly died because of this person,and through my weakness of being controlled by him. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year.

At the start of the relationship, everything was great, nothing was an issue, I did not have down moments and was walking on air. Is my bf acting this way because he is insecure himself? I am pretty sure this is it. But these never seem to have a lasting effect. I constantly feel the need to please him even when he is in a bad mood. Yet we stay together?? He also makes odd comments when I am emotional and crying, why would I break up with you, I have bought you Christmas presents and makes plans for the future, assuming I will be there.

Even my best friend says that I need to find a bf that empathises more with me. It is apparent that my bf and I do think very differently, we even support opposing political parties.

What I want to know is why does he even do this in the first place?? I recognise that I have a short fuse but he should perhaps realise this. I am trying my best here, and will have more confidence and a positive outlook on life, because just recently this has not been the case whatsoever. Anyone who has an feedback or adivce on my situation, I would greatly appreciate it. I am not a pushover and will never be. Im in the process of just about coming to my senses.

I have been with a total control freak now for the last 18 months. I think i have know it all along to be truthful, but i didnt want it to be true as i really cared for this guy. Now however i realise he will never care for me like i deserve to be cared for. Hes just not capable. When i look at the way his father is, and his past behaviours i just know my boyfriend as learned all he can from his fathers ways!!!

His mother is a sweetheart and i dont know how she has managed to put up with that man! He shouts at me, swears at me, is critical to the point of obsession with every thing i do. From my driving to the way i sit!!! He has never hit me, but he has threatened me and even smashed my front room window and damaged my car in a fit of temper! So what next then, hey a good old smack.

I know he would do it if he could get away with it. But he knows i will tell everyone and shame him!! Im a very strong person, but i find myself rushing to complete things so i can get back to his house. If im too long , there will be an argument. Then we either just sit around watching TV which bores me rigid when i have a things to do at home.

Excuse me but we all have a life to lead. In other words hes playing mind games with me , trying to make me feel guilty for not spenind every single minute with him!!! Guess what even when im with him. He says he doesnt like cuddling, and we usually end up on seperate sofas. Well guess what I do like cuddling and im not putting up with this jerk any more. Ladies beware these men are usually masters of manipulation and can turn things round on you, and make you feel its all your fault, in a breath.

I have experienced this time and time again. How somehow or other i end up getting the blame for Funny how it wasnt like this with my ex partners then eh!! Oh yes he can be good fun, charming and nice. But usually when he knows im really pissed off with him. Hes bled me dry for money too and somehow stil manages to call me tight fisted. He isnt working and i lost my job 3 months ago.

So what its my money, ive worked for it. But boy has he made me feel as though i should be supporting him!!! I was warned by a previous partner of his that he was a violent and controlling individual. But I wanted to see for myself. Like i said deep down insided i have always know, and yes i guess i thought he would change!! However as time is going by i think hes getting worse.

More agressive verbally when im doing things that dont involve him. What has finally made me come to my senses is over the last 3 months i have had some real serious and upsetting family worries.

He has had a bad leg and fair enough, hasnt been able to walk and as been in a lot of pain. But … hey ive had no support what so ever. Just little jibes and digs actually insinuating that the problem within my family is my fault anyway as i didnt do this, didnt do that and didnt do the other…. At a time like this he should be solid with me, giving me comfort and support.

Instead when i have cried he has told me not to be soft. I guess thats so he doesnt have to deal with it, and we can all concentrate on him!! Because hes had to tidy his kitchen up and i should have done it cos hes had a bad leg!! All the thing i have done for him forgotten of course! So the reality of this is….. No love in the relationship, just him pretending so he can have someone there to control. Help him out with money.

Not saying its not hurtful but sometimes a reality check is needed and strength to go it alone. Yes, women exhibit demanding and controlling behavior from time to time. Many people participate in some kind of unhealthy, controlling behavior.

Yes, women should be treated like queens — and men like kings — but the unfortunate reality is that for many men, being treated like a king means that everyone must be his subject and servant. The reality is that in domestic violence situations, controlling relationship situations, if you prefer men are most likely to be the perpetrator. In most cases, men have greater physical and financial strength.

In most places, men have more rights and more power than women… even here in the US. It is a sad truth that men commit the majority of violent crime, and the majority of sexual assault. The sames holds true for women. I have been so low that I attempted suicide because I was such an awful wife and human being… the result of not only my own depression but also years of abusive controlling behavior.

Also true is that I am a person worthy of love not control. It is possible to leave and believe me, living well is the best revenge. I have been in this relationship for almost 3 years.

We have bills together. I am 21 and he is The first year of our relationship he was horrible to me. I knew he was cheating on me with several women but I never left him only to just argue with him.

Then one night my friend just talked me into moving out while he was at work so I wouldnt have to deal with his drama and begging. He worked nights as a police officer back then.

That same night I though well since I am gone and he doesnt know Im going to retaliate and hangout with one of his bestfriends that has a crush on me. So i did and I ended up cheating on him with this guy. I regret it though. So when he had found out that I had left he found out i was with his friend and hungout but i did deny that i kissed him.

I felt guilty because honestly that wasnt my style to cheat but i felt that maybe it would show him a lesson because he had cheated with about 13 other women.

Anyways after a week we moved back in and it was like he was a totally different person he stopped the cheating and most of the lying. I felt that it was time to tell him the truth about a month later and i told him what had happened between me and his friend. We talked it over but he new i wouldnt of done it again.

I am not those type of girls who are controling. I let him pretty much do whatever he wants. I dont go through his phone, I never really question who he text and talks to. I dont think he has cheated on me since but All those signs that you provided to me he pretty much follows without even knowing it. We just argued bc he doesnt want me to talk and text one of my friends that i have had.

Just so happens she is a Lesbian. Then during the argument I told him I couldnt do this anymore. I feel like Im caged in a box. I know thats wrong because you shouldnt feel guilty by seeing your grandparents and family. All my friends dont really talk and ask to hangout anymore bc its like He always makes a point to ruin the good time I have with them and he will start an argument on purpose. Or he will call me every 30 minutes asking what im doing It would be the same thing that i was doing 30 minutes ago So my friends get so annoyed of it that they just dont even invite me anymore.

All my co workers hate him bc if we ever do get in an argument he feels that it is necessary to talk about it right then and there and he doesnt want to wait. Im a dispatcher I can be talking and arguing on the phone.

He has hit me before twice. That was 2 years ago. He hasnt done it since. Thats why I have stopped drinking. I threatened him that I couldnt live like this anymore and if he doesnt try to help his controlling and doesnt change or atleast make some modifications then i will live him.

I told him he was mean and Im young and pretty i Dont have to put up with any of this because of the fact that there probably are so many other nice mean out there who would respect me and not take me for granted.

So now he wants to go to counseling. He has changed before he doesnt cheat anymore but can counseling work for his controlling habits? I hope so bc i realy love him and If me and him dont work out I hope somthing works out for him in the future bc I know if he is the same person today when he finds another girl, that girl would be miserable and he would also be miserable. I just turned 17 this November.. Everything above defines him and then some more. I have never had a boyfriend who treated me so horribly before..

My boyfriend has done the following:. When he was home, we were together literally we basically lived together just switched from my house to his.. When someone would text my phone, he would grab it and read it and no matter WHO it was, get completely jealous and start a fight even if it was one of my girlfriends!

My bestfriend not the one he slept with is not allowed to hang out with me.. Now i talk to none of them. He judges me on my past, and wants me to delete every single picture i have saved on my computer from over the years, like he wants to erase my past completely.. I try to talk to him all the time, actually sit him down and talk to him, and try to fix us.. He would put me down alot.. I just dont know what to do.. I just dont know.

Im 19 yrs old I know what you mean my x father of my daughter is in jail he did pretty much the same thing as ur boyfriend he broke my cell phone he wanted me to delete my facebook or give him the password i was not aloud to listen to music he told me that im on house arrest im not aloud to talk to my friends or family till our daughter is born and that if i left he would have nothing to do with me or the child..

Im still soo much in love with him i cant get the person he was when i first met him i want my old love to come back we us to look at each other with soo much love…but now im soo upset and scared to bring and a poor little baby who has done nothing wrong into this world to deal with a father and a grandmother like this. I kind of feel like this is where my relationship is headed. I can not go anywhere without him, be with anyone else besides him.

He dictates our plans for the week, what classes I should take in school and who I hang out with in my family. I love him with all of my heart, but this relationship is completely different then when it began.

I do not know how to explain to him that its not all about him, I am involved. He always has panic attacks if i leave and go to a movie with my own father and not with him. He thinks he is the third wheel all the time and that I do not love him if i decide to do something he does not approve of.

I am so perplexed. I do not know what to do…. Im not going to tell u what to do i will give u some advies mine and my exs relationship started out great he would come with me to my familys house for diner and just to visit and we would go to our friends places and visit all of a sudden i was not aloud to go out anywhere not aloud to go on facebook not aloud to see my family or friends he told me that my friends werent really my friends and there not going to be there for me and i was not aloud to listen to music not aloud my own cell phone that i pay for..

Guys like this really piss me off. I was just recently dating a girl who had only been with abusive guys in her past. The sad thing is that this guy, the rumor going around, is that he beat up his last gf. And the whole time we were going out he would call her and tell her he loves her and is so depressed without her.

Put a lot of stress and strain. She would turn it into a fight. She just couldnt stop from turning everything into a fight and felt she had to get back at me for things I didnt know would upset her, like having to stay home with my family at christmas dinner and not being able to have it with her family. Anyways, I had to break it off with her last week and just stop talking to her, even though it hurt so bad. I still hurt a lot though cuz i cared about her and wanted to be different from other guys.

I wanted it to just work and be simple, just happiness, not stressful and complicated. I know my boyfiend is controlling and negative. But then he tries so hard to make me happy. He really does his best to realize when he is wrong and usually accepts his falts. At first he thought he was not controlling and then one day at the mall it really came out in full bore.

If i did not have a newborn child with him I probably would have left him long ago. I dont leave him now because he is trying to do the right thing and really wants us to work out. Sometimes I really am unsure about our relationship especially because we are extremely different.

He is needy aswell. I am more independant. He does not want me to smoke ciggeretts and I feel like he is trying to contoll me but then I know I should not be smoking especailly while breastfeeding but I feel so stressed. We fight over stupid stuff and its hard to tell if its him or me. I know that he flys off the handle and it drives me nuts. I am just so confused sometimes I just feel its a matter of time. I hate being controlled.

Its extremely hard with a new baby becasue I am not working and he barely works. I have let it happen. I was at one time with a boyfriend for 3 years who was very abusive emotionally and at a point in time it nearly became physical. He would tell me what to wear and what not to wear and this really freaked me out.

He was way too possessive of me and would not allow me to be with friends or even say hi to guys be they family or what. I was really an emotional ruin, I was emotionally bruised and lost trust in men. I felt so unloved such that I would seek comfort from other people but it was never enough. At one time he threatened to beat me up and that was it. Girls it is time we do something about this, do the right thing, simply walk away.

Hi, i am back again……….. So I had to find another way out. Moreover I worked with him in the same office. I also knew that such kinda men have a big EGO. So I started throwing similar tantrums so he got fedup of me and finally after 2 long years dumped me. I too the opportunity to tell a friend in front of him that I got a new boyfriend. Now I can see his modus operandi and realize what shit I have put up with. Feel sorry for her..

But thank God…I managed to get rid of him. We were married for the last 2. I eeven put him in prison finally for hitting me and then took him back which was really stupid!

I left for good 3 months ago and have had no contact. Please get out of these relationships. I hate to see ,particularly , all these young women still in their teens wasting their time with these horrible men.

You deserve to be treated well,girlfriend! So today i left my bf.. I would just like to add my piece of mind. They use u 4 there benefitn business everywhere ect. The mother is so bad she phones u to verbal abuse you even though u dont know here. Got involved with this man from day 1 was verbal abuse till up 2 2 day i had enough of this always prayed and thought it will change cause his actually a nice person.

Sorry to say but all you men from europe r mentally disturb. Hope this advice will open up somebody elses eyes…. So many of your stories are really sad. Please girls, you have control to choose who you want to be with.

Think about how much happier you could be. You only get one life why would you want to waste years of it with someone that does not appreciate who you are and respects you for you.

Your life is worth more then that and you deserve to be happy. Please choose to be. He tells me to shut up and that I get on his nerves all the time. I can never get a word in and yes he always wants to be right and I am so sick of it! I know that one of these days it will be over, with his attitude and the way he treats me that just makes me have less feelings for him which is going to lead to leaving him.

Life goes on we live and learn. I just literally dont know. I care about him so much , and sometimes i think what he says is really flattering but its also like im not even who i am anymore, but a part of me doesnt want to go back to who i was when i was single because at that point in my life i didnt have someone looking out for me all the time. Everything stated above made me feel like the writer observed my relationship for a week and wrote this..

It was a whirlwind courtship— he was so perfect, so sweet, bringing flowers for no reason, etc. He treated me like gold and swept me off my feet, even convincing me to move in with him a few short months after we met and started dating. I have twice found evidence of him cheating, the 1st time he had a girl come to our apartment while I was out of the state with family, the 2nd time at least meeting another woman for a drink if not more. He denies all and claims that nothing happened….

He has admitted to me that he cheated on all his past relationships- girlfriends and ex-wife. Boyfriend went ballistic a couple of days into my visit, accusing me of sleeping with the online ex, and so on. He broke into all my accounts- email, skype, facebook, phone to check my text and call records, he even looked in my files and searched online to find information, to answer my security questions. He has read all my email and dug in my phone before, and blown up about things that happened before he and I even met.

He loses his temper over any little thing, and demands things of me. I feel like he just stays with me to get what he wants… then he will turn around and be kind and caring, asking if I need anything, etc.

I feel so manipulated!! One of these things is a certain sexual act, that I have a very hard time doing because of an experience in my past. He threatens to end the relationship over this— that is his standard response to not getting what he wants. He has agreed to go to counseling; this is my last hope for this guy.

I know this because of my last one. At first he was the best boyfriend in the world. Cooked me dinner, rubbed my back every morning, bought me everything I wanted. I grew up watching my mother be controlled and beaten I will not let that happen to me. But these controlling men know how to dig in like a tic, and what we girls need to do is break out the blow torch and burn them like they do to us, turn the tables if you must.

Just be strong and stand tall, there has to be someone out there that will love you for you. Please honey get the hell away from him, and run as fast as you can. You always need to look at the bigger picture. He will never get better and yes as time goes on it will be worst. Love your self, you are a young women and there are many men out there.

What if you have A friend thats in a controlling relationship? Not to metion but the other day she told me that her bf thinks that im gay for her! She now hardly hangs out with anyone because it makes him unhappy and she doesnt hang out with her guy friends either because he thinks they all hit on her!

I tell her she needs to leave and break up with him, she thinks about it and says she will but then finds something or some reason not to leave him…i feel hopeless and like im letting my friend down by not gettign her out of this relationship….

Started stalking me at school, and even drove to the movie theater because he knew I was going to be there. Then he said he was really sorry and he loved me. And hes stopped now, so the worst is over. Think about if you marry this guy and you have a baby with these kinds of problems? You can barely handle it now. You will always have family and friends will stick by you, I guarantee.

I hope you can break up with him. My ex did and it was so much worse the second time. You cannot change someone no matter how hard you try and you cannot make someone upset or make someone do anything. I have had 3 loves so far. First relationship being 2 yrs, second relationship lasting for a yr, and this most recent one the abusive one for 7 months.

I wish the best for you and good luck. My boyfriend does everything on the list. I feel your pain. I understand the stress we have and what our men have done to us. My boyfriend constantly yells at me scream for any little thing. When ever I have money he takes it from me and spend it when I need to buy me he say I have to earn it. I had enough money to pay for my school and learn something on my hand he spend it all just on having fun he say why do u need to go to school for so you can flirt with them boyz in school?

I feel like a puppet but i have i must put an end to it but how? I display small instances of a few things above. Shes lied to me many times and it feels like I have to play detective to get details out of her. She lied about what happened and I found out through a friend and hearing what all the person I loved could do all that changed me into a very insecure person.

I have just split with my boyfriend, he told me what to wear, what to say, when to say it, what job I should do and constantly watch me — I have had this for 6 years!! I know it will be hard from the break up, but I have to get away from him. If I do not agree with something he had said, he would argue with me — I have felt suicidal at times and he has been abusive, blaming me for my behaviour.

He rang me the other day because I was out with friends and talking to another man — he called me a slag and a tart — he put me down even when we are finished, which made me feel even worse. I am in a situation of 6 years. I left him a couple of years ago because he blew up because he saw an old school classmate say hello to me. Unfortunately I returned 6 months later. He sweet talked me and I made some big mistakes regarding the custody of our daughter.

I signed paper work stating we would get joint cust. Well 3 years later, his behavior is worse. He goes through my phone, paperwork, I dont get to see my family or friends.

I work 40 hrs a week, go to school full time and I care for the kids, him and the house and he is working me as a slave. I am tired and sleep deprived but if I can make it for another year to get my degree, I am out. Ladies please becareful you have no idea what some of these sociopaths are capable of.

Mine has ties with law enforcement and government agencies. Those are the worst. Also watch your cell phones, there is new spyware that they can put on them without you knowing and they can hear and see every conversation that you have. Always have a back up plan.

Boyfriend found out, hit the roof, insisted on every single little detail of my life and I mean everything. Carried on said he fallen in love with me and wanted to make serious future. I left for 3 weeks and he called me everyday with nasty insinuations and questioning and calling me names, then becoming the very loving and asking me back.

The exes I quit even though one was a good friend but he can never see it like that. I went to live with him, agreed to give passwords to fb and email and showed him for over 4 months I was not doing anything wrong but he just reads all my emails, sms, deletes things of fb or flies off handle if anyone asks to be my friend. I am so offended by this as some of these people are old, ugly it is just laughable some of his questions but this makes him more mad.

He makes me angry with his questioning. He hit me on the arm I hit him back I was so surprised! On the other side he can be so charming, generous and kind. He tells me he loves me 10 times a day and would do anything to make me happy.

He is intelligent and has a good job. If I ask to do or go anywhere without him he can;t understand why I would want to. He hates my friends and calls them names and says they are not good enough for me but is charming to them to their faces. I can only wear high heels if with him otherwise it is flats only. He hates low cut tops even tops that cover my chest he thinks are low!

I have started wearing roll neck tops for first time in my life just to avoid clothing discussions. I am so confused as he says he loves me as I am intelligent, beautiful and know how to be well dressed, he likes that I have opinions in conversations etc. This is the same as he has always done but my boyfriend hits the roof all the time asking the same questions have we been together, why is contacting me etc etc.

Anyway final straw came when I was at my friends and her landlord cam round for 5 mins to fix electrics then left. I stayed while with her drinking tea, went home and he got mad saying I should never be anywhere with another man and should have left immediately from my friends house and come home. She followed me home while he was yelling and we both looked at him gone out at his logic and suggestion.

He went out totally mad and she persuaded me to pack stuff and leave him. Ended up going back for few days before going home to parents for 5 weeks. He has now said he will change and go to counselling and sees his errors.

He does not stop ringing, questionning and accusing me of not being at home even when I am though throughout these weeks with my parents. He says now the only way to see that he is telling truth about changing is to go home there and see for myself. Am I just wasting months of my life going back to find out that people never change? Ok am n have been living with my bf for 3 years moved far away n he controlls everything even the money i dont have a carwe argue rly bad almost everything single day bad we yell cuss and sometimes he hits me where its hardware to Bruse like sholder or upper thigh and he tells me to leave so i packagemaker and try n h stops me apologizes and and talla me into staying if i did leave i would have to call one of my parents thats 3 thousand miles away n have them send me money take the bus to the airport with a bag of clothes and will have to leave everything behind that I worked so hard for or my valuable.

My boyfriend is a little bit controlling, and now he keeps asking me for the address of his enemies which consist of my best friend and my ex-boyfriend. Parents, here are the ten signs to teach you children that they dating a controller.

Teach you children to respect themselves enough to not want to have anything to do with the [ He controls everything I do. He will only hit me if I hit him 1st. I feel old sometimes cuz I never act my age. I want to be a 22 yr old and have a social life hang out with my best friends. I regret getting back with him cuz now I feel even more stuck.

He blames me for everything. Just the other day he locked the keys in the car and he yells at me saying its my fault.. I was inside the house when this happened. There are other guys who like me and want to be with me but I would never leave him for another guy. I just want to be single. I got with my fiance when I was He was 21 at the time.

He controlled me in high school too bc he was older than me. He threatens that he will smack me in the face whenever I talk back to him but he never does. I tell how it is. Most watched News videos Pedestrian bridge in Florida collapses, trapping cars underneath Virgin stewardess confronts couple caught in plane toilet sex act What went wrong? The shocking seconds after Miami's ton Now Hillary Clinton fractures her wrist after slipping in Love is in the air!

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Imsges: 10 signs youre dating a keeper

10 signs youre dating a keeper

On the other hand, you don't force your partner to become friends with your friends if they're not inclined to do so. So if he is always affectionate and very obviously making an effort to please you, you will know that he thinks you are simply delectable. I pleaded I loved him he calmed down and gave me so much love.

10 signs youre dating a keeper

You know how you wish to live and what values you hold dear, but you don't try to impose those values on to anyone else.

10 signs youre dating a keeper

Jenni Lovsey on December 1, at 1: Ash — Thank you for dxting kind comments. Austin on June 10 signs youre dating a keeper, at When we first met I explained to him that i was still friends with my ex boyfriend really we were just friends. My own father is a pastor — has been in ministry for 40 years — and I have talked to him about some of these exclusive matchmaking sydney.